Chapter 12

Lily was sitting up in her room, alone. Her books spread out before her on the bed. The others were all out with their boyfriends so she took advantage of her quiet time. The Beatles coming from the radio she had bewitched to get Muggle station filled the room… She highlighted a passage in her History of Magic book, sucking on the end of her quill before dipping it into ink and jotting down her next sentence. Just as she was reaching to flip the page, the door to the dorm opened.

Lily tore her eyes away from the text to see Summer entering the room. She didn't even seem to realize anyone else was there as she headed to her bed.

"Hey, Summer," Lily said kindly, an eye on her books. "I thought you were with Sirius."

The girl mumbled something that ended in a near sob. Lily closed the books and glanced up, noticing for the first time that the girl looked close to tears. Getting from the bed, she stepped closer to Summer.

"Summer, what's wrong?" she asked gently, reaching out.

Blue eyes filled with sadness met Lily, immediately dampening her mood. With a flick of her wand, the radio could barely be heard.

"Sirius--" Her first attempt wound up a croak. It was obvious she was trying not to cry. "Sirius and I…we b-broke up."

Lily didn't know what to say. "Oh," was the only thing she could think of. Fortunately, actions spoke louder than words so she placed her hand on Summer's arm.

Summer sniffled a few time, trying to recompose herself.

"I don't know why I'm so upset, I'm the one who broke up with him." She paused to wipe away a tear. "It just wasn't a relationship anymore….Every time he looked at me, I could see that sadness in his eyes, the guilt. No matter how many times I told him it wasn't his fault, he still blamed himself. It wasn't fair to either of us--him especially--that we stay in this 'relationship.' He shouldn't have to deal with my emotional baggage, nobody should.

"It was for the best." It sounded to Lily like she was trying to convince the both of them. "But it still hurts…That's the most confusing thing, I didn't love him, but it feels like my heart's breaking."

For the first time, Lily saw Summer as a real person, with real feelings. Sure, she had seen a softer side of her the other night, but this…this was when it had clicked that Summer actually had a heart, one that could break and feel remorse.

"Breaking up with someone is hard, even if you know it has to be done. What you're feeling is normal." The girl nodded, her lower lip quivering. "You can--you can even cry, if you want," Lily assured her.

The words had barely even left her mouth when she felt Summer's face buried in her shoulder, tears soaking into her shirt. Lily did the only thing she could, pat Summers heaving back. She mumbled soothing words to her.

They stood like that for a few minutes before Summer finally lifted her head and attempted to pull herself together.

"I'm sorry," she apologized, wiping her eyes with the tissue Lily had summoned. "What you said makes sense, about the breaking up, but I've never felt anything like this when the relationships ended with any of my other boyfriends. I mean, they were just guys, there was always another one. It's not like that with Sirius. It's just…not."

Lily found herself wishing James were here. He would probably say something about Summer going through so much with Sirius having a factor in her feelings. She'd actually felt something with somebody and that had ended. Lily even considered going to find James before remembering that he didn't know about Summer and Sirius. The truth was, she didn't know how to help, didn't have any words of wisdom, so she just stood there, smoothing out Summer's long, brown hair.

Lily handed her another tissue.

"Thanks," Summer said, meeting her eyes. "For everything." Suddenly her eyes grew wide, and she glanced around. "Robyn isn't here, is she?"

Lily shook her head, "No, she's out with some bloke. She left about half an hour ago." She noticed Summer visibly relax. "Can I ask you something?"

Summer nodded slightly.

"Why do you hang out with her? I mean, all she does is treat you and everyone else like rubbish. And look at what she's turned you into. First year, you were so shy and kind, but now, you're just like her."

Lily watched the girl contemplate this, trying to come up with an answer, finally after a few seconds, she shrugged.

"Honestly, I don't know," she admitted. "I mean, Robyn has been my only real friend, my best friend. And I don't want to lose that. I know she can be horrid sometimes, but she's fun to be around."

"Real friends don't judge you because of your sexual experience," Lily said, letting her words hang in the air for a few minutes. "You and I both know what she would say if she was to see you like this, and that's not a real friend. Much less a best friend."

Summer nodded guiltily, her eyes truly understanding Lily. "I know, but what can I do?" she asked. "I can't exactly stop being her friend, do you have any idea what she would do to me? What kind of rubbish I'd be put through, and not just by her, but all our friends."

"It seems to me like you need better friends." Lily stepped away from Summer, returning to her bed. "I've got a lot of work I need to finish."

Summer nodded. "Thanks again, Lily." She headed to the bathroom. Minutes later, Lily heard the shower running.

The next morning, on her way out of the common room, Lily watched as Sirius walked over to Summer, he asked her a question and Summer nodded. Sirius had pulled her into a hug when Robyn sauntered over and the two pulled apart. That girl was really something else, she always had to ruin everything for everyone. Lily noticed the slight scowl on Summer's face as she walked off with Robyn.

"Hey, Sirius," Lily called as the boy turned to head back upstairs. He switched directions and headed towards her.

"So, I take it Summer told you."

"Yeah, did she give you a reason?" Lily asked.

"That right now wasn't a good time, she needed to find out who she was. But we're still friends. That was the condition, she couldn't push me away completely." He let out a bitter laugh. "Merlin, I sound like a father or something, but I just feel responsible…" He ran a hand through his hair.

"I know what you mean, that girl definitely needs someone to keep an eye out for her. And you're a wonderful person for wanting to help her."

"The only way she's ever going to truly be herself is if she dumps Robyn, that girl's at the heart of this whole mess."

Lily nodded in agreement.

"What mess?"

The two looked over to see James.

"It's nothing," Lily said quickly. "Walk me to breakfast?"

"Sure, I can never refuse the company of a beautiful girl," James said, linking her arm in a playful manner. He glanced over at Sirius. "You coming, mate?"

"Of course, I never refuse a good meal." He grinned taking Lily's other arm.

Summer was walking down the corridor alone during her free period. Truth be told, she wasn't even sure where she was, she knew the general location and how to turn around and find her way back but she had never been in this part of the castle before. Not that it mattered; she was just taking a stroll, clearing her head. Everything was so messed up right now. Everything was falling apart.

Nothing made any sense anymore. Why did she go through with it? Why was she still talking to Robyn when there were people like Sirius and Lily in the world? Maybe it was karma, she treated people like crap just to keep friends and now it was coming back to bite her in the butt. Maybe she deserved every bit of this.

She was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she didn't even hear the footsteps behind her. In the next second, an arm had snaked around her waist, holding her close to a solid form. The blood drained from her face.

"Hey, sexy," a voice hissed in her ear.

Her panic waned but not much as she was released. She turned to look at the culprit.

"Oh, hi, Michael." Michael had been Robyn's most recent boyfriend, if you could even call him that. He kind of creeped Summer out but she was comfortable enough around him. "You scared me."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to," Michael said with a slight sneer. "So, what are you doing wandering around the castle?"

"Free period. You?"

"Ditching Potions," he said carelessly.

"Yeah? That's cool, that class is kind of dumb."

"Yeah, and Slughorn's an overgrown hippogriph. Can't they find descent potion teachers these days?"

"I know what you mean," Summer agreed though she didn't really. Truth be told, she rather liked Slughorn, he was a bit…out there but he was all right. That was another thing about hanging out with Robyn and her crew; you had no thoughts of your own. Their opinion was your opinion.

"So, I heard you and Black broke up?"

Wonder where he heard that? Summer though to herself.

"Yeah, things weren't working out."

"He wasn't your type anyway," Michael said in what, she supposed, was to be a reassuring manner. Was it just her or was he getting closer? "He was too much of a pretty boy for you," he stated. His hand was next to her head and she was backed into a wall. "You need someone more rugged, who doesn't spend more time in front of the mirror than you."

"Someone like you?" Summer asked, nearly gagging at the thought. Michael was as far from her type as you could get.

"Yeah, someone like me," he said, completely missing her repulsion. "We'd make a cute couple, don't you think? I've kind of fancied you for a while, but Robyn told me to stay away because you weren't…ready for my expertise yet, but now that you've been--"

Summer wasn't even listening anymore. She couldn't believe Robyn would tell everyone that she had lost her virginity; well she could believe it because it was Robyn, after all. Still, it wasn't any of their business; it was hers and hers alone. The next thing she felt was Michael's lips on hers. She pushed him away and found herself slammed into the wall.

"What, you'll let Black have a go but not me? Too good for your own kind?"

This was not happening. It was a dream, just a horrible dream.

"Hey!" The voice echoed in the corridor. "Leave her alone!"

Summer glanced over to see Sirius jogging towards them, his wand out. Michael backed away slowly.

"Hey, it's cool; we were just having a little fun. You've had your turn, now it's mine. You have to share."

"Get out of here now! I don't think the Headmaster takes too kindly to sexual assault."

The boy eyed the wand pointed at his chest and at the scared girl pressed against the wall.

"Okay, fine. She's probably not even worth it anyway."

Sirius didn't even watch the boy leave, instead turning to Summer and doing a quick examination.

"Are you okay? You're not hurt are you? He didn't…"

"No, it's fine, Sirius, he just kissed me. I'm okay really." The girl was already shaking and in the next second, she slid down to the floor, nearly in tears.

Sirius kneeled next to her. "Summer?"

"God, I was so scared, I didn't know what he was going to do. If you hadn't come along…"

"Shh," Sirius embraced her in a hug. "It's okay, I'm here. He's not going to hurt you."

It was the second time in the past twenty-four hours that she had found herself crying on somebody's shoulder. She'd cried more these past few weeks than in the last seven years of her life. Being a friend of Robyn's, you just didn't cry. It was a sign of weakness.

"Sirius, what's wrong with me? How have I stayed Robyn's friend for so long? Michael said something about you not being my type, but…I don't even know what my type is, every boyfriend I've ever had was picked out by Robyn. How dumb am I to have stayed with her for so long?"