A/N: Okay, I'm really sorry about the wait on this one guys. I kind of got in over my head with the whole Matty-damp lung-pneumonia thing. Web MD has my eternal gratitude. That said, if there are any mistakes with the info, I completely and fully blame Web MD for feeding me false data. Hope you guys enjoy this little tidbit!
P.S. I'm working on a Castle/Firefly Crossover fic, so after I get this story done, keep a look out for that one!
Disclaimer: I was going to write some cute little rhyming sing-song thing for the disclaimer, and then I realized I am not Joss Whedon and I can't write songs for crap.
…
Chapter 7: Can't
Being back home made him remember why he lifted weights every day for years. Even with all that training, his arms ached from the strain of cattle ranching, wrestling chickens, carrying bales of hay, and doing just about a dozen other chores. All he wanted was some of Ma's cooking and a warm bed with a warm little Crazy girl next to him, but before he could even say 'Ma wha's fer dinner?' the girl was in front of him. "Jayne, I require immediate transportation to this planet's emergency medical facilities."
He was too tired. "Huh?"
She sighed, clearly excited and eager, but slowing her brain for him in a way that didn't make him feel like an idiot. "I saw a medical supply shop in town. I assume that is where Mary Cobb found this," she held up the bottle of medicine Ma had given her for his brother. "Matty needs something else. Please take me there."
"Whaddya mean he needs somethin' else?"
"He doesn't have damp lung."
"Wha'?"
"He has pneumonia. Similar symptoms, but a longer duration time. He requires different medication."
"New-moan-i-what?"
River sighed again, but a smile played at the corner of her lips as she muttered, "Apples don't fall far from each other." She continued in a fast pace, yet monotone voice, as if she was reading from an dictionary on the Cortex or something. "Pneumonia. Infection of the lungs caused by a bacteria that enters the body during a common sickness such as the flu or a cold when the immune system is compromised. Produces common damp lung symptoms such as sneezing, coughing, chest pain, bloody mucus, elevated heart rate, shortness of breath, fever and other indicators."
"Can ya fix it?"
"Affirmative."
"Le's go!"
F.I.R.E.F.L.Y.
"What're ya givin' him?" Lily whispered from where she was seated at the foot of the bed. Matty was unconscious, fever bringing a glistening sweat to his forehead. "He's been coughin' up blood agen. Ya can see it on th' tissues. 'Re ya sure ya can heal 'im?"
"Not a pansy-ass Core doc, as Jayne so lovingly puts it, but I did start fixing his spelling when I was three. That should earn points in my favor." She knew that behind her, Lily was staring at the back of her head, trying to make sense of her words.
A familiar voice explained from the doorway, "She means tha' just cause she didn' train at ah fancy Core school, doesn' mean she doesn' know 'er stuff. Matty's gonna be fine." Jayne was rewarded with a quick smile before she began ordering him about, something women in the Cobb household excelled at.
"Water. He needs lots of water. And the aspirin and cough syrup we purchased is downstairs. He'll need them soon."
"Sure, Crazy. Whatever ya say."
Lily just smiled as she watched them go back and forth.
"What?" River asked, trying not to peek at the older woman's brain droppings.
"Nuthin'. I just ain't ever seen Jayne take orders from anyone besides Ma that quickly. He didn' yell er nuthin'. Ya've got him good, girl." Lily smiled.
"Allright, Riv. Got them stuff ya asked fer. Now whaddo I do wi' it?"
"He gets two teaspoons of penicillian every 12 hours. One aspirin every 6, and coughing a dose of coughing syrus every four." She studied the man before her as he tossed in his sleep, overcome with delusional sickness. "Perhaps not an apple a day, nor what the doctor ordered. She calculated the doses to fit his natural health physique and genetic benefits."
"How long will it take?" Lily asked, perched on the bed, her eyes slightly glassy as she tried to calm her dreaming brother.
"He should have significant improvements within days." River felt the waves of relief rumbling off the siblings. It was almost too much. Tears pricked her eyes and she moved away, excusing herself and smiling when Jayne caught her arm with a questioningly concerned look.
When they were alone, Jayne settled himself on the opposite side of Matty's bed, not touching his brother as Lily was, but watching. "Where's Sophie? Did they…"
"Nah. She's jus' away fer a little while. She went tah see a doc on Kigira that might know somethin' about damp lung that th' docs here don't. Looks like I should wave 'er down, tell 'er ta come back." Lily laughed slightly, looking at Jayne. "Ta tell yah th' truth, I'm thinkin' he's gonna propose ta that girl soon."
"He'd better." Jayne's laugh made the bed creak as he rumbled. "Sophie's too good fer him, anyways. Shoulda put a ring on 'er the minute she agreed ta go steady wi' 'im."
"And did ya do that wi' River?"
"Lils, its different. We can't."
"Can't or won't?"
Jayne thought for a minute. His face went more serious than Lily thought she had ever seen it, except for the day their Da died. She hadn't seen him get this thoughtful, this devoted to a girl, ever. River had changed him, whether he knew it or not.
"Can't."
F.I.R.E.F.L.Y.
By the time Serenity landed on Iaceli a few days later, three days behind schedule, Matty was up and running again. Or at least hobbling. Almost the whole family, all 10 or so kids that could be spared from their work, went out to meet the Firefly-class vessel and her crew, but when the doors opened, all they saw was a flash of blonde hair nearly tackle Matty as the surprise passenger barreled into him.
Sophie had tears running down her cheeks as she checked over her boyfriend, hugging him tight. "Oh, god, Matty! You're up!"
"Yah, up an' runnin'. Thanks ta the little she-doc here." He pointed to where River was carefully situated as far from Jayne as she could possibly get, perched on a boulder behind the gang of Cobbs, inspecting her nails.
Sophie tackled her next.
"Thank ya so much. Ya can't even understand." River just beamed.
"You're welcome."
"Mal?" Jayne questioned as the Captain walked off his ship a few moments after Matty's girl, followed quickly by Zoё and the Doc.
Mal shrugged . "We found 'er on the docks in Kigira, lookin' fer a lift. Said we were goin' ta meet th' Cobbs an' we'd give her a ride." He leant in a little closer and lowered his voice. "Cried the whole gorram way here."
"Mal!" Inara's annoyed voice rang from behind the two men and Mal felt a sharp pain where her hand connected with his head. A few months ago it wouldn't have bothered him, but she had that crazy pregnancy strength now…
"Yes, 'Nara?" Mal asked good-naturedly, trying to appease her while keeping a weary eye on both her hands.
"Stop talking and make introductions."
Jayne ducked out from behind the Captain. "Sorry, 'Nara, that's my fault. This here's mah Ma, mah sisters: Lily, Tommi, Andi, Nina, Kara, Jasmine, an' May. An' mah brothers: Erinn an' Matty. There are a few more at the house."
"A few?" Inara asked, eyebrows raised.
"Yeh. Sixteen of us total. Anyways, Ma, this is the Cap'n."
"Malcolm Reynolds." He stuck out his hand like the proud soldier he once was.
"Yeh, yeh, yeh." Jayne rolled his eyes. "An' this here's Inara. Who knows where the gorram doc went."
"I'm right here, Jayne." Simon called, not removing his eyes from his sister as he checked her for injuries.
Jayne rolled his eyes again. "The gorram Crazy girl is fine, doc. We ain't animals."
"Says the man who tried to turn her in." Simon replied, his voice sarcastic.
"Wha' can ah say doc," Jayne shrugged, ignoring the glare his mother was giving him at this new piece of news. "She stabbed me."
Mary Cobb actually gasped.
"She was jus' tryin' ta show us how good yah look in red." A sweet female voice laughed from the dark of the ship. Kaylees body emerged from the shadows, slightly wobbling but otherwise normally grease-stained and in her favorite coveralls. They subtley displayed her baby bump.
Simon rushed right over.
"Bao bei, you should be lying down."
"Relax." She patted his neck and smiled sweetly at him. "The baby's not comin' fer another four or five months. We got time."
"Well," Mary Cobb laughed, giving her son a sharp look. "Y'all been busy since th' last time my boy wrote, haven't ya?"
…
A/N: So I don't really think it's my best work, but I can't really figure out what's wrong with it. Advice?
And yes, Sophie was completely inspired by the Mamma Mia movie. (Disclaimer: I don't own that either, sadly. I have nothing.)