Here is the next chapter. This is one of my favorite chapters because you get a better look at Carmen (whom I love). I was glad that I didn't have to do much with this chapter. I think it's one of my better written chapters and I remember when I wrote how easily it all came to me. Also, I just want to let you know that I had chapter a few years ago when I stopped writing this, I stopped on chapter 18 but I am now ready to move on and keep writing. I've recently developed a new plot that I'm super excited about and that actually brings my whole story together. I can't wait for you all to read what I'm planning. Please let me know what you think of this chapter. The next few chapters are all ready (except 18, I think I'm going to work on that one a bit more.) One of the next chapters is 11 pages long while my chapters usually average 7-8 pages, so I'm going to try to start making them all 11 pages but I'm not making any promises. Anywayyy, onto the story. Please leave lots of reviews and let me know what you think :D

Chapter 15

Carmen stepped through the Portrait hole, the sound of the crowded common room filling her ears. She glanced at her watch which read five till seven. She tightened her grip on the piece of parchment in her hand. She wondered what Kevin wanted to talk to her about. Usually, they were already together and would head up to the dorms at the same time. This time, however, he had requested for her to meet him there at seven. Her mind swam with possibilities. Maybe he was planning a really special evening, to which he knew she wouldn't take too kindly. Maybe, she shuttered at the thought, he was breaking up with her.

This was something Carmen didn't want to even think about. Sure, she was a strong spirit. She was independent and didn't need a man in her life, but she was…connected to Kevin and she knew it would hurt if he broke her heart. She admitted, ashamed, that she had in fact given him her heart. It wasn't something she did voluntarily. She hadn't even noticed it was happening until it was done.

Carmen pushed the thought from her mind. If he wanted to break up with her, she would accept his decision. There was no point in worrying herself sick over it.

She paid no mind to the other students in the room as she made her way to the stairs. She had climbed these stairs plenty. It also wasn't the first time her heart had been racing with each step she took, this time however, it was more from anxiety. She didn't know why she was so nervous. He was just one bloke. Though, she never quite understood her feelings for him. Like how he could turn her into a puddle with just one look, or how he could make her want him with a smile. She loved everything about him. It had taken her a while to admit this and, more importantly, accept it.

When she reached the door, she wasn't sure if she should knock or go right in. Her hand hesitated towards the knob. Why was she so nervous? Whatever it was, it couldn't be the end of the world. She let out a sigh. She most definitely did not like this feeling. Carmen was always so sure of herself, always in control. This uneasy person she didn't know and she didn't like her one bit.

Still debating on the proper way to enter the room, she compromised. The knob was cool in her hand. She twisted it, pushing the door open slightly.

"Kevin?" she asked, leaning towards the door.

"Come in," his familiar voice called from the other side. The sound calmed her instantly. That was another thing about Kevin, no matter how anxious or angry she was, his voice almost always soothed her. He was her voice of reason when she was, at times, irrational.

She walked in the room, still a little weary. She glanced around, half expecting candles or rose petals. She saw neither. As much as she hated both, her heart dropped a little: Maybe he was breaking up with her. She noticed him standing by his bed, he looked nervous, which was also pretty rare for him. One of his appeals to her was that he was as sure as she.

"Er…have a seat," he insisted, motioning to the bed.

She eyed him while making her way to the bed. She had spent countless hours on this bed, and its familiar scent eased her slightly.

"Kevin, what's this about?" she asked after he didn't say anything. He ran a nervous hand through his hair. "Do you…are you breaking up with me?" She fought to keep the emotion from her voice. She never could've imagined it would hurt so much to say those words.

Kevin looked at her, bewildered. "No. Of course not!" His face dropped a bit. "Why…do you want to break up?"

"No, not at all!" Carmen insisted, a wave of relief washing over her. "I just thought that maybe you were. You know…with all the secrecy and stuff…"

"Well, no…I'm definitely not breaking up with you," Kevin assured her.

Carmen let out a sigh of relief. "That's good." She had learned long ago that she could show her feelings around Kevin. That, too, had taken a while. She didn't want him to think she was weak or vulnerable, and he never had. He had even seen her cry once, for a brief period. She had once felt guilty, showing emotions around him, now it came natural. "So…if you're not breaking up with me…then what's going on?"

It was Kevin's turn to sigh. He timidly sat next to her on the bed. "I wasn't sure how to do this…I mean, in my mind I had pictured when this moment came I would have candles, flowers, candy maybe. But you're much too difficult to let me do this the easy way." He grinned at her. "That's what I love about you, Carmen. You are so different from any other girl I've ever met. You are truly your own person. You are strong and independent and you don't need a man to survive. When we first started going out, I could tell that you weren't looking for a long term relationship. You hadn't even been looking for any type of relationship when we met.

"I never could've imagined that we would've lasted this long. We've had a bumpy road. You're just too damn stubborn for your own good. We fell for each other. You fell for me and that kind of complicated things. You were giving your heart to me, and that was the best gift I could've ever asked for. You're going to go far, Carmen, whether you have someone at your side or not…"

He hesitated for a few seconds. "However, I…I would really love it if you would allow me to be there with you, every step of the way."

Carmen watched with disbelief as he pulled a small box out of his pocket. Her breath caught in her throat. Words abandoned her. He slowly opened the box, revealing a beautiful, breath-taking ring. The stone inside was her birthstone, Ruby. He knew she all but hated Diamonds.

"I'm not asking to get married right after we graduate, we can give it a few years. In fact, this isn't even an engagement ring. It's a promise ring. These past few years have been the best of my life, and nothing would make me happier than to know that we had a future."

A million thoughts were going through Carmen's head. A million emotions. She was happy, of course. She loved Kevin with all her heart. What he was asking, however, she didn't know if she could handle that. He was asking for her hand in marriage, her future. He wanted to make her his. While the idea was all very romantic and ideal, it just wasn't for Carmen. She was her own person. She gave her heart to Kevin, but the rest was still hers. He wanted to take that from her. She just didn't know that she could do that.

"Kevin," she began, not sure where to go from there. "I can't," she said finally. "I'm sorry, I just…can't."

With that, she stood from the bed, leaving Kevin heart broken and confused. Carmen closed the door behind her, tears threatened to spill from her eyes. She willed them back and made her way down the steps. She ignored the rest of students in the common room and made her way up to her dorm. Another wave of emotion hit her as she took notice of Faith and Lily sitting on Lily's bed. She wanted to be alone more than anything else right now. The two girls immediately glanced up at Carmen.

"Wow. That wasn't long at all," Lily said, taking a peek at her watch. "What did Kevin want."

"Nothing, he just wanted to talk." It took all Carmen had to fight the emotion in her voice and not burst into tears at the thought of Kevin's proposal, and at her reaction. She had, quite possibly, lost the best thing that had ever happened to her. She just couldn't, however, give in to his request. It was all too much and she found herself wishing once again that the dorm had been empty.

She turned and looked at the door, half considering making her way back to it and searching for an empty corridor.

"Talk?" Lily asked, noticing the look in Carmen's eyes. "Did you guys break up?"

"I'm not sure," Carmen answered truthfully. She knew that she couldn't very well walk out of the room without raising more questions from her friends at a later time. She thought of the only other way she could be alone with the two girls in the room without raising too much suspicion. "I'm going to get a shower."

"If you need to talk, we're here," Lily assured her, worried about the dark-haired girl. Even though she knew that Carmen wouldn't want to talk. Carmen was much too stubborn to talk about her problems.

Once in the shower, the tears spilled. Carmen wasn't sure why she was crying. Maybe because she had lost Kevin forever. Maybe because her heart was breaking. Mostly, it was because she knew she had done this to herself.

The next few days, the group all noticed the awkwardness between Kevin and Carmen. Both held a sad look in their eye, neither was able to look at the other. However, no one knew what was going on. Both had insisted that they didn't break up, but neither gave any more details. Their unhappiness had considerably dampened the mood of everyone else. The others were worried about the couple. Carmen and Kevin had been attached at the hip since the middle of 4th year. All you had to do was look at the way they looked at each other to see that they were madly in love.

They were indestructible; the couple had been through more than any of the other couples in Hogwarts. They had once survived a pregnancy scare at the end of last year. It was just that, a scare, but it nearly tore them apart. They broke up for about a month, but everyone knew it was only a matter of time before they got back together. This, however, seemed more permanent, and it worried the others to no end.

Remus, Sirius and James all tried getting the details from Kevin and the same with the girls and Carmen, neither caved though. All they would say was something happened and it seemed like things might be over. Neither wanted to talk about it. They knew that their friends wouldn't understand. The guys would have no words of comfort to offer Kevin. Sure they could tell him to wait for Carmen, that she would come around, but they all knew how stubborn she was. Carmen, on the other hand, knew that Lily and Faith would never understand why she had turned down his offer.

Three days after the proposal, Carmen found an unlikely source of help. She was sitting in a secluded hallway, the only place she knew she would be alone. The common room and dorm were much too crowded. Here in this corridor, she had no one looking at her sadly. No one pitied her here. There were no looks of confusion and curiosity.

James made his way back from the library, taking a short cut he and Sirius had discovered. He was shocked to find Carmen sitting against the wall.

"Hey," he said timidly. "You okay?"

Carmen glanced up, annoyed. Couldn't she get two minutes by herself?

"Yeah, I'm fine," she insisted. She noticed James hesitate a bit before sitting down across from her.

"You don't seem fine," he told her. "Neither you nor Kevin have been fine for the past few days. All he does is mope around the dorm. What happened between you two?"

Carmen sighed; she knew this question had been coming. Everyone asked it. Even Robyn had been curious, though her question had been asked with a judgmental, nosey tone. For the first time in three days, Carmen wanted to tell James. It was strange; the two had barely spoken to each other. They were more acquaintances than friends, but something in her told her he would understand. That he knew what it felt like to want something you didn't have, and to be afraid to get it all at the same time.

Carmen sighed. "Kevin proposed to me…well not exactly. He bought a promise ring. He wants us to get married someday." It had been the first time she'd said it aloud, and it kind of felt good. It was like a weight had been lifted off her chest and she let out a breath that she felt like she had been holding for the past few days.

"Oh," James said, setting his books beside him. He had a feeling they would be here for a while. "I would say congratulations but it seems highly inappropriate. So you don't want to marry him?"

"I don't know," Carmen answered truthfully. "I mean, I love him and don't really want to think of my life without him. I mean, I know I would survive, my heart would eventually heal, but it would hurt. It does hurt," she admitted. "But marriage? He wants to make me his, James. I'm independent, I'm my own person, and I'm not sure I would be able to give myself up.

"And then of course, if we get married he's going to want kids. I'm just not the wife and mother type. I mean, honestly, can you imagine me being a Quidditch Mum? I don't know the first thing about kids." Her dark curls bounced as she shook her head slightly, a dry, dark laugh emitting from her lips.

James waited a few moments after her last sentence, wanting to make sure she got everything out that she wanted to say. He hesitated, wondering how exactly to put his thoughts into words. Finally, he spoke. "It seems to me like Kevin understands all of this already, which is why he's only asking for someday. He knows you better than anyone else and I'm sure he's figured out that this would be a tough transition for you, so he's giving you time. I know Kevin, he'll give you as much time as you need.

"You're right, though, you don't need a man. I don't think I've ever seen anyone as strong and independent as you. And this is coming from the guy who's been pining after Lily Evans for the past three years. Lily is strong, yes, and independent, but she also wants that happy ending. She wants the true love, the husband, the kids. She doesn't need it, but she desperately wants it. You don't. You would do just fine without it, but what if it's not that bad? I know you love Kevin, the whole world sees it. And believe me, we all remember how hard that was for you to admit that you loved him, to give your heart to him, but you did, because you decided it was a million times better than the alternative.

"That's exactly how this is. I know you don't think you're the type for being a wife or a mother, but what if it's better than you could've ever imagined. What if you find that you love it more than anything? You'll never know unless you give it a shot, with Kevin, because I know there's no one else you would rather experience that with. Anything else would be fake. It'll be hard, I'm not saying it won't be, marriage is a partnership, but if anyone can make it work, it's you. You're not the type to give up before giving it a shot, so you have to at least try."

Carmen nodded, "You're right." She didn't elaborate; Carmen wasn't one to spill her feelings. Sure she had opened herself to James a little, but those had been facts. She wasn't about to tell him that marriage couldn't be worse than this feeling. That her heart was breaking and she felt like she had lost the most important person in her life. "Thanks, James, you've helped me a lot. I see why Lily comes to you with her problems." She let out a small laugh. "And here everyone thought Remus was the sensitive one."

James grinned, grabbing his books once again. "Oh, Remus is most definitely the sensitive one. I just fill in every now and then."

Carmen smiled. "Thanks again," she stood up and brushed herself off. "You wouldn't happen to know where Kevin is, would you?"

"Last I saw him he was in the dorm," James answered, standing to his feet. "I told you he never leaves but to go to class and meals."

This made Carmen feel lower than dirt, she was the reason he felt this way.

"Let's walk together," James told her, "I know a short cut."

Carmen nodded. In a few minutes time, they were standing before the Portrait Hole. James gave the password and the portrait sung open. Carmen let out a sigh of relief when she saw the others sitting on the couch. They all glanced up at her and James.

"Good luck," James told her.

She could feel the others' eyes on her as she walked up the steps. She took in a breath as she opened the door. She still had no clue what she was going to say. She wasn't any good with this mushy, love stuff. She saw Kevin lying on his bed. His eyes widened and he sat up as he saw her walk into the room.

For a few seconds neither of them spoke. Their eyes locked on each other, confusion filled Kevin's blue eyes. Carmen let out the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding.

"Hi," she said quietly.

"Carmen?" Kevin asked finally. "What…what are you doing here?"

Carmen made her way to the bed. "I was wondering…I mean…I wanted to know if…if I could see that ring," she said finally, still not sure if this was the right way to go about things. She wasn't sure of any other way though, surely Kevin already knew how she was feeling, as James had said, he knew her better than anyone else, so there was no need to spill her heart to him.

"Why?" Kevin asked.

"Because I want to see it," Carmen demanded lightly.

He let out a sigh before reaching into the bedside table and pulled out the small box. His eyes still held confusion, but she also noticed the tiny sparkle of hope. His hand was shaking slightly as he handed her the box.

She opened it, removing the ring from its case. It really was beautiful. She slipped it on her ring finger, it fit perfectly, just as she knew it would.

She glanced at Kevin who looked like he was about to have a heart attack. She suppressed a laugh at his expression.

"I love that it's not a diamond," she told him. "It's a beautiful ring."

"Carmen…what exactly does this mean?" Kevin asked.

"It means," she let out a sigh. It was now or never. "That I'm excepting your proposal…It doesn't mean, however, that we'll get married right after Hogwarts. You asked something huge of me, Kevin, and I honestly don't know how long it'll be till I'm ready to give in to your request…You'll just have to hang in there and be patient with me."

"I know," Kevin smiled. "That's why it's a promise ring and not an engagement ring," he told her, pulling her into a tight hug. "You have no idea how happy this makes me, Carmen."

Surprisingly, Carmen found that she was happy too. She would never have to lose Kevin, and she was certain that someday she would be ready to sacrifice herself in order to keep him. But with Kevin, it wouldn't be a sacrifice, she just knew it.

"It makes me happy too," she admitted. A sudden urge of need overwhelmed her. Ever since she had gotten with Kevin, the two had been like rabbits, getting physical at any given moment. The depression had quenched her fire the past few days but now that all was worked out, she felt the familiar warmth spreading in her belly. She dropped the box promptly, pulling her boyfriend into a deep, passionate kiss.

A while later the two made their way downstairs. His hand was laced with hers. On her other hand, the ring fit comfortably on her finger. The small ruby put the slightest amount of weight letting her know it was always there, not that she was likely to forget any time soon.

When they made their way into the common room, five sets of eyes settled on the couple and their interlaced hands. Their friends smiled at them widely as they walked over to the couch.

"So are you two good now?" Lily asked.

"Never been better," Carmen said, unable to contain her smile as she held out her hand.

"Oh my God," Lily said, however it was Summer who stood from her seat and engulfed Carmen in a hug.

In the past couple weeks or so, Summer had been spending more time with them than Robyn. It was weird transition and Carmen was still getting used it, but she returned the girl's hug.

"I'm happy for you guys. If anyone deserves happiness, it's you two," Summer said, pulling away from the hug.

"Thanks, that means a lot to me." Carmen noticed Robyn's glare from across the room. Summer had received more than her share of nasty comments from the brunette and her group over the past few days. Luckily, they couldn't do more than make comments as either Sirius or Lily were always by the girl's side.

"So, when's the wedding?" Lily asked as Summer resumed her spot and Carmen settled herself on Kevin's lap.

"We don't know yet," Kevin said, "It's just a promise ring."

"It's beautiful," Lily said, examining the ring as Carmen placed her hands on her lap. "Can I see it?"

Carmen held out her hand, not wanting to remove the ring. She couldn't help but laugh as Lily and Summer gushed over the ring. She thought it was silly how girls always got so excited about a piece of jewelry even if it was beautiful. And Carmen sure as hell wasn't about to admit how thrilled she was to have it. It wasn't just the ring, but what it symbolized.