Okay, this is the big TADA chapter. I hope you all like it. I was so ridiculously happy how many wonderful reviews I got to the last chapter. Thanks everyone. Once again, if you don't wish to read me vehemently showing my gratitude to those who took the time to tell me their thoughts, just skip down to where it says "Chapter 19" You guys are getting this a little earlier than I had planned as I've (quite surprisingly) been able to whip out chapters 20 and 21 with ease. I'm very pleased with how easily the chapters are coming along. I still have the rest of today (it's currently 5 PM) and tomorrow off so I hope to get out another chapter. I may wait to see how far along I am progressing to post the next chapter so it may be a week or so but I know you all will wait patiently for it (or so I hope) :D.
L-U-N-A 654: I agree, Sirius is one of the best characters. He is absolutely one of my favorites to write and he's one of my favorite fictional characters ever created. :D I'm glad you liked the chapter and I had a little too much fun writing the scene with Lily wanting more. Of course James wants more too but it's much more fun to write Lily's desire as Jame's is a 17 year-old boy and is expected to be horny while Lily is more quiet and reserved.
Eleos: I was super excited to see such a long review until I realized it was mostly quotes from the story. :P Just kidding. I LOVE when people add quotes from the story in their reviews (especially when they are quotes that I myself am quite proud of...it's amazing how shocked I am at some of the stuff I write because, not to sound conceited, it's like "Damn, that's good. I can't believe I came up with that"). Here is the quickest reply I can give to such a wonderful (and long) review. Yes, Lily can be quite scary. Haha at the image of James cross-dressing. Of course they were just jealous and James should've suggested they keep snogging (I threw that in there just because I know how much you love that word) in the middle of the corridor. LMAO at the image of someone poking another while spurting out jokes; it's all good, I love random. Damn you, why didn't I think of the "No, I'm James" line? I love a good Sirius/serious joke! Ahhh, Sirius wouldn't be awesome as he is if he wasn't a pervy teenage boy :P. Haha Sirius is full of smart ass comments. Your review was plenty insightful and I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter (P.S. LOVE THE SIGGY!)
Jenn22: Hahaha awesome rhyme. Yes, I agree, they are quite adorable. I always have a blast writing them. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter and look see, I updated :D Also love the siggy, what more could you want from life than Peace, Love, and Brownies? (Though a little ice cream would be amazing as well!)
Jonte Aliscious: Okay, I'm only going to address the second part of your review for right now. (Which probably already answers your unasked question but I sincerely hope you continue reading.) I'm EXTREMELY happy that you are enjoying the story and I'm glad you liked my approach to Lily and James (I never much care to write that she hates him and then all of the sudden loves him, that's much too boring) Haha I try not to write them too mushy, but that's the great thing about FanFic I can pretty much do what I want with it. I will address your first part of the review after the chapter, which, again, I sincerely hope you read.
4BlOnDiE4: I'm glad you like the story. I'm also glad that it appears well thought out (which it is to some extent but I have a bad habit of starting a story with not much to go on then just kinda winging it :P I blame it on my ADHD). I am also pleased to hear that it is well written. Again, as I told Jonte, I like to keep my stories original (or at least hope they appear to be original) and I'm glad to hear that most people don't think it's just another cliche L/J fic.
LilyHeartsJames: Yay, I love helping others procrastinate as it is one of my personal favorite past times :P. Hahaha I'm glad you are enjoying Lily and James being together and I hope you enjoy the next half a dozen or so scenes (not all of them in this chapter, unfortunately) written out. I'm also pleased to hear that their fighting their emotions for each other was entertaining. I hope you find them actually being together just as much. Here is the next chapter!
Chapter 19
The snores of the other girls filled Summer's ears. She, unfortunately, wasn't sleeping. She sat upon her bed, the curtains drawn around her, keeping out the moonlight spilling into the room. It was completely dark and that was how Summer liked it. Part of her wished it would be completely silent also but she couldn't bring herself to say a Silencing Charm. There was a small comfort in knowing she wasn't alone, even though she had never felt more so in her life.
How was she going to tell everyone? Sirius. Oh Merlin, Sirius, the man who had stepped up in her time of need, he was going to be crushed. And what about Lily? Would the Head Girl decide she no longer wanted to be friends with someone who could do something so horrible? She sat there for a few more minutes, wondering how she was going to tell everyone. Tried to convince herself that it wouldn't be that bad. Finally, she lied down; knowing her attempts at sleep would be futile.
"Wake up, sleepyhead."
Summer slowly opened her eyes to see Carmen standing before her bed, the curtain pushed completely back. How long had she slept? No more than an hour, she thought grudgingly as she glanced at the clock. The realization of her horrible secret hit her all of the sudden and she groaned, closing her eyes and rolling away from the dark-haired girl in front of her as she pulled the covers over her head. She was suddenly exhausted and wanted nothing more than to sleep the rest of her life away in her warm bed. She didn't want to deal with what she had done. She yelped as the covers were jerked from her body with an amazing strength. Bloody hell, how was Carmen that strong?
"Breakfast starts in five minutes," Carmen informed her, sitting on the edge of the bed and bouncing slightly.
"Five minutes?" Summer repeated, alarmed. "That doesn't even leave me time to shower!" Oh well, she thought, stinking isn't the worst offence I've committed. She sat up slowly. "I'm awake."
"Good," Carmen said, obviously pleased that the girl was at least sitting up. "Now get ready."
Summer sat there for a minute longer before swinging her feet over the side of the bed. She was greeted by Lily and Faith. She briefly wondered if these girls would still be her friends a few days from now. She quickly pushed the thought from her mind as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.
"Did you not sleep well?" Lily asked, a countenance of concern crossing her beautiful features. "You look positively knackered."
Summer shook her head, her messy hair swishing with the movement. "I couldn't sleep for some reason," she answered, though she knew the exact reason she hadn't been able to slumber.
She felt a pang of guilt as Lily glanced at her with sympathy. You wouldn't look at me like that if you knew the reason, Summer thought bitterly as she crossed the room to her dresser. She grimaced when she saw her hair in the mirror. It was a big ball of mess on the top of her head. She quickly grabbed her brush, running it through her mane before pulling it up in a ponytail, having little energy or desire to do much else with it. She quickly dressed and was ready just in time to leave for breakfast with Lily, Carmen and Faith.
Faith and Lily were too engaged in their own conversations to detect how unusually quiet Summer was. Carmen noticed and was about to enquire about it until they met up with the boys. It was only a second's time before Carmen was too engrossed in Kevin to question the brunette's silence.
The group all walked to breakfast together as Summer deflected questions from Sirius, insisting she was just exhausted as she hadn't been able to sleep the night before.
"Is everything okay?" he asked, worry filling his grey eyes.
Summer felt another pang of guilt. All of this was too much to handle. Surely Sirius would hate her when she informed him of her news.
"Yeah," she insisted, though her heart wasn't in it. "Just have a lot on my mind, I suppose."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
She shook her head. "No. It's just some stuff I have to deal with. Thanks though," she added, attempting a weak smile in his direction.
They soon reached the crowded Great Hall. Everyone took their seats as usual and began chowing down. Summer was chewing thoughtfully on her biscuit when a rancid smell assaulted her nose. She glanced up to see Faith holding a plate of eggs in front of her.
"Here you go, Summer."
Summer shook her head, holding down the bile rising in her throat. "No thanks," she half gagged.
Faith regarded her with confusion and curiosity. "You've eaten eggs almost every day for the past month that you've sat with us."
"I know," Summer answered, trying to quickly think of a way to decline them without raising the blonde's suspicion. "I think I've just burnt myself of them. As you said, I've eaten them every day."
Faith nodded, accepting this explanation easily. Luckily for Summer, Faith wasn't one to question many things. She was a bit naïve and tended to take other people's words at face value. Summer found herself wondering what it was like to have such a positive view of the world. She would give almost anything to not feel as if someone was out to get her at all times. She ate her breakfast of biscuits with little interruption from the others. They were all pretty lost in their own conversations and quite used to Summer eating her meal with little commentary.
Later that night, at dinner Summer found that she was rather antsy. She wanted to tell someone. She knew that people would find out sooner or later. She also had bit of a morbid curiosity to see if the others would react in the way she had anticipated. And though, logically, she knew she wasn't exactly lying to them, she knew that she was lying by omission. They had done so much for her, more than anyone else in her life, and the guilt of keeping something like this from her new friends was eating away at her. As much as she didn't want to lose them over something this dumb, she felt like she was cheating them. If they chose to stop being friends with her, so be it, but at least they would be able to make a choice knowing all the facts.
She wondered who she should tell first. She didn't want to make it a dinner announcement to the whole table at once. She didn't think she could handle that many people judging her in such a small amount of time. She glanced around at the others, trying to decide. She watched as James laughed at Sirius, who was spelling out obscene words with his peas. She could tell one of them two. From what she had heard, James was quite good at giving advice. And it was because of Sirius that she was even accepted into this group. No, she decided. It couldn't be either of them.
What about Faith? The blonde was talking to Remus and Dean about how the project was going. No, she decided quickly. Remus, maybe? He had always been really nice and she remembered how he and Lily had almost been best friends at the time of them being Prefects together. However, she didn't know Remus that well. She knew it couldn't be Lily; it would shatter her heart to see the kind girl staring at her with disdain in those bright green eyes.
Suddenly, Summer knew who it had to be. Someone who knew a little bit what it was like to be in her situation. Someone who would tell her like it is and wouldn't sugar coat how she felt.
"Carmen?" Summer said, interrupting the girl's conversation with her boyfriend. "Can I talk to you for a bit?"
Carmen turned her attention to Summer. She regarded her with curiosity for a second before speaking. "Yeah, of course. What's up?"
"Not here," Summer clarified, clamping her hands against each other once she realized they were shaking. She was suddenly light-headed and feared that she might pass out if she stood up. She took a deep breath, telling herself to calm down. "In the hallway maybe?"
Carmen studied the other girl, alarm and worry filling her chocolate brown eyes. She sincerely hoped Summer was okay and half considered helping the girl stand up but decided against it. Summer was a big girl; she could walk on her own. She followed Summer's lead and stood up from the table. Though Carmen didn't look like she was about to collapse on the spot like the other girl did.
Immediately upon reaching the empty corridor, Summer slid down the way, her breathing uneven and her legs weak. She buried her face in her shaking hands. She couldn't do this. What the hell had she been thinking? Why had she ever even allowed herself to be in this situation? She was going to lose all her friends over one lousy night. And it had been that, terribly lousy.
"Summer?" Carmen asked in a voice softer than the girl had ever heard the other speak in. "Are you…are you okay? Do you need to go to the Hospital Wing?"
Summer bit back a bitter laugh, if only Carmen knew the irony of what she was asking. If she had never gone to the hospital wing, she would blissfully ignorant right now and wouldn't even be having this conversation.
"No, I'm okay," Summer answered, her voice wavering a bit. "I'm just a little nervous."
"Nervous? Why? What's wrong, Summer?" Carmen asked.
Summer took a deep breath, preparing herself for what came next. What had to come next. She had to do it. She couldn't very well tell Carmen "nevermind" and go back into the Great Hall as if nothing was wrong. She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. Merlin, why was this so difficult? She was just going to have to say it. Don't think, just speak she told herself.
She turned her head from the girl's intense stare. Squeezing her eyes shut, she opened her mouth once again. The words flew out of her mouth before she had a second to think about them or reconsider. "I'm pregnant."
Summer walked up the steps to the Hospital wing, fighting a mental battle with herself. It had taken all her will power to continue up the stairs and not turn around and run as fast she could. Run until this was all behind her and could never catch her. She knew that was impossible though; she could run as much as she wanted but it wasn't going to change anything. She had to know the truth. Something wasn't quite right and she knew it in her heart. There was something weird going on with her body and though she had a good idea what it was, she desperately wished it was something else. Anything else.
Let it be the stomach flu, she thought hopefully, as hope was all she had at this point. Unfortunately, she knew that the stomach flu didn't cause you to be a week late with your period. Or cancer she toyed with the idea. Yeah, cancer wasn't something that was her fault. Cancer didn't remind her of the most shameful thing she had done in her life.
She walked into the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey was bent over another student in one of the cots. She was a fairly young witch though she had been at Hogwarts since Summer and the others had started attending the magical school. Her pretty face turned to regard Summer with her brown eyes. She took one look at the newcomer and alarm forced itself onto her features.
Summer stood in the door way until Madam Pomfrey made her way to the light-haired girl. Summer turned her attention to studying the woman. Her brown hair was pulled into a tight bun, not unlike the one McGonagall wore.
Before Pomfrey had a chance to speak, Summer opened her mouth. "Is it okay if we go into the backroom? I'm a little nervous."
"Of course," Madam Pomfrey obliged immediately, leading the girl past the other two students lying in the beds. Luckily for Summer, one was sleeping and the other seemed to be in too much of a drugged state to notice her.
"Lie down," Madam Pomfrey instructed sternly. Summer obeyed immediately, she placed her hands on her stomach and began fiddling with her fingers. "You're all clammy and pale. What seems to be problem, miss…"
"Johnson," Summer answered after a second, realizing the woman was inquiring about her name. "Summer Johnson." She almost whispered her words, terrified that someone would hear her and spill her secret.
"All right, Summer," Pomfrey said, walking up to the girl, pressing a wet rag to her forehead.
"IthinkI'mpregnant," Summer said in one breath though she knew the madam had understood her perfectly.
"Oh, dear."
Before Madam Pomfrey could say anything else, Summer was speaking again. "I've been getting sick a lot lately, and my period is late."
Madam Pomfrey nodded, ever the epitome of professional, she was. "Well, let's first find out if you are in fact pregnant."
Summer sat ramrod still, only moving her hands to scoot them up closer to her chest as Madam Pomfrey requested. The woman gently pushed Summer's shirt up from her stomach, bunching it close her ribs. Summer shuddered as the Healers cold hands brushed against her bare flesh.
Madam Pomfrey pulled out her wand. "This won't hurt, though you may feel a bit of an odd sensation." Madam Pomfrey pointed her wand at Summer's stomach and muttered an incantation.
Summer had a feeling she could best describe as a squirm. She glanced down at her stomach to see what looked like a piece of rice glowing brightly beneath her skin. She tore her eyes away from it to look at Madam Pomfrey, whose own face held a look of sympathy.
"Is that…Am I?" Summer stuttered, unable to even say the words.
Madam Pomfrey nodded slightly, setting her wand down. "You are pregnant, Miss Johnson." Before Summer even had time to let her head swim with possibilities, Madam Pomfrey was speaking again. "You look to be about six weeks."
That caught Summer's attention. That wasn't right, couldn't be right. she had done the math in her head days ago. It..it wasn't possible.
"Six?" she repeated, hoping with everything she had in her that she had simply misheard the woman. "Are you sure it's not seven?"
Madam Pomfrey shook her head, "I'd bet my wand that, based on the size and your symptoms, you are six weeks pregnant."
Summer's head spun. Things had just gone from bad to worse. She hadn't even considered this possibility. She was sure with everything in her that Sirius was the father of this baby and had barely even allowed her to think of the other option. She felt the bile rising in her throat and leaned over the edge of the bed, throwing up violently.
"Sorry," she apologized, spitting out the remaining vomit in her mouth, willing herself not to throw up again, which was quite a task considering the vile taste in her mouth. "I'm so sorry."
"Not a worry, dear," Madam Pomfrey insisted, handing Summer a glass of water before clearing up the mess with a swish of her wand.
She perched herself on the girl's bed, replacing the rag that had been on the girl's forehead. "Do you know who the father is?"
"Yeah, I do," Summer lied, not wanting the woman to think her any more of a tart than she must already.
"Do you think he will be supportive?"
"I don't know," Summer answered, wondering how she was even able to comprehend what the woman was saying as her mind raced with emotions.
She was briefly aware of the woman standing from the bed as she rested her head back onto the pillow and closed her eyes. What was she going to do? Could she handle all of this? Surely her family would disown her, they already thought her to be a nuisance as it was.
She was vaguely aware of Madam Pomfrey speaking, "Oh, one more thing. I'm not even sure this will work but it's worth a—"
A thump thump thump broke Summer out of her deep thoughts, snapping her to attention at once. Her eyes flew open and she glanced at the Healer. "What's that?"
Madam Pomfrey smiled down at the girl for the first time. "That's your baby's heartbeat."
It was then that Summer knew this baby was her whole world. She would love and protect this child with everything she had in her. It didn't matter that this was possibly the worst time and that things were even worse than she had anticipated. This was her flesh and blood and it was now the most precious thing she had ever possessed in her entire life.
Carmen, not meaning to, gawked at the girl, her brown eyes wide in disbelief and a hint of pity. "Wow…I…I mean…are you sure?" Carmen asked, finally able to form a coherent thought. She wasn't sure what she had expected the girl to tell but she was sure that, even given a million years, she would've never guessed it was this.
Summer nodded, biting her lip, turning her head towards the other girl slightly when she hadn't immediately called her a slag and ran off to tell the others of her secret. "I went to the Healer last night after dinner. When I said I was going to the library," she clarified upon seeing the confusion in the girl's eyes.
"Oh," Carmen spoke suddenly. "Well why didn't you tell anyone? I'm sure one of us would've gone with you."
"I didn't want anyone to know," Summer insisted. "I thought everyone would judge me. I'm still worried what the others will think." She visibly relaxed, finally letting herself believe that Carmen wasn't condemning her.
"Do you really think we are that horrible?" Carmen asked, feeling her anger level rise. "I mean, are we that shallow that we would judge you for something this dumb? I mean, most of us have had sex so it's not like we are Super Prudes or something."
Summer's head lowered immediately, shame rising in her cheeks at being yelled at. She had never been one to handle people raising their voices at her. Having Carmen scold her like this made her feel like she was five years old again, being punished for spilling milk. She added to it, chiding herself for automatically assuming that she would be prosecuted for her actions.
"I—I guess I'm just so used to hanging out with Robyn and her crew and being judged for everything I do," she defended herself quietly, feeling even more rotten for comparing the two groups.
"We. Are. Not. Robyn's. Crew," Carmen declared in a low, harsh voice that, quite frankly, scared Summer more than Carmen yelling.
Summer felt the tears well up in her eyes. It was all too much. She was slightly relieved that Carmen hadn't immediately turned her back on the girl. She was still scared shitless about being pregnant. And she was allowing herself to feel a small amount of joy that she was going to have the others there to help her through this. "I know…I know," she whispered, saying the only thing she could think to defend herself.
Carmen's anger dissipated quickly at seeing the tears form in Summer's eyes. She felt just a little bit of shame at being so tough on the brunette. Summer had trusted her with a secret she had told no one else and for that Carmen was touched. She knew that she and Summer hadn't had the best history and had only just recently considered themselves friends.
"It's okay," Carmen assured the emotional girl. "You just have to get out of that mindset that we are like your old friends because we aren't. We pride ourselves in sharing as few traits as possible with Robyn and the likes." It was her attempt to cheer up the distraught girl and Carmen wasn't sure how well it had worked. "So, who's the father?" Carmen blurted out. She had never been one to beat around the bush.
Summer's face turned into a frown once more. "I thought it was Sirius…" she paused slightly. This was perhaps the part she was most ashamed about. "But…it's not."
Carmen regarded her with confusion. She thought Sirius was the only person the other girl had slept with. She waited a moment longer for the girl to speak, not wanting to cause her to clam up. Carmen had to literally bite her tongue to keep from pushing the girl to go on.
"About a week after I slept with Sirius, I was a mess," she continued so quietly that Carmen had to lean in to hear her. "I had lost my virginity before I'd wanted to and I was just starting to pull away from Robyn, the only friend I'd ever known." Quickly she added, "Don't get me wrong, Sirius and Lily were great. They were more than I ever could've asked for, but Robyn had been my friend for the past six years." She took a deep breath, knowing the next part was going to be the most difficult. "So. So, one night, I got really drunk and I…Merlin, this is harder than I thought It was going to be. I…" Summer dropped her head in shame, unable to bring herself to say the words.
"You slept with some random bloke?" Carmen offered, as kindly as she possibly could.
Summer dropped her gaze to the floor, studying the concrete under her feet. She bit her bottom lip before moving her head up and down with the smallest movements.
"And you don't know who it is?" Carmen asked lightly.
Summer shook her head, feeling the tears well up in her eyes once again. "I was too drunk and it was dark."
"Oh," Carmen replied with the only thing of which she could think. She had no idea what words of comfort to offer Summer or how to react so as not to offend her. She wasn't judging the girl, she was only human after all. Everyone made mistakes and it had been at a time that Summer felt like all hope was lost. "I'm not really sure what to say," Carmen told her honestly. "I mean, obviously I'm here if you need me. And I can help you tell the others if you'd like." She offered the only thing she thought might be of any help.
"That means a lot," Summer said, unable to portray how grateful she was.
"It's the least I can do. You're not alone in this." Carmen told her before pulling Summer into a hug. She hadn't realized how much she needed human contact and support until she had it. Summer didn't know how a hug—such a simple gesture—could do more for her than words could even describe. Just knowing someone was there for her was more than she could ask for with everything going on.
Carmen pulled away from their embrace. "Can we please go back in?" she asked. "I'm famished."
This caused the first smile in days to grace Summer's face. It made Carmen feel good to know that she had finally succeeded in cheering the girl up.
"Sure," Summer grinned. She was quite aware of Carmen's appetite. There were days she ate as much as Sirius in one sitting, and that was really saying something. Sirius was notorious for the amount of food he could put away in a period of time.
Carmen threw her arms around Summer's shoulder as the two girls turned back to the Great Hall doors. She said no more of Summer's pregnancy during the remainder of the meal.
Later that night, the others all sat in the Common Room. Summer gave Carmen a meaningful look earning a slight nod from the dark-haired girl. She left her spot from Kevin's lap to sit next to the pregnant girl. Kevin watched her, confused. Carmen grabbed Carmen's shaking hand from her lap.
"You can do this," she whispered low enough that only the intended recipient heard her message.
Summer took in a deep breath, the same feeling of unease and dizziness returning to her. Sirius noticed the two girl's exchange and let out a bark-like laugh.
"Is there something you two need to tell us?" he asked, amusement dancing in his grey eyes. Upon the Summer biting her lip and glancing at Carmen, he added. "Have you two gone lesbian together? Because that would be so sexy."
Summer let herself laugh. She her nerves calmed down a bit as she reminded herself why she liked Sirius so much. He was funny and could almost always make her smile, even if she was feeling rotten. He had been amazing when she revealed to him that she hadn't been ready to have sex and proven to be a loyal friend ever since.
"I do have something to tell you all," Summer began. Sirius' grin widened. "It's not that I've taken Carmen as a lover though."
"Damn," Sirius muttered and Summer smiled despite herself.
Her smile dropped from her face as she glanced around the crowded Common Room. There was no way she could reveal her secret here with so many witnesses.
"Do you think we could do this up in the boys' dorm?" she asked, exhaling when everyone immediately agreed and didn't push her to tell them at their present location.
Once everyone was settled among the various boys' bed, Carmen once again taking her spot next to Summer, she drew in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Please don't let them all hate me, she prayed silently.
"I wasn't at the library last night," Summer informed them, deciding it was best to start here. "I was at the Hospital Wing. I was told…you see I went there because…I wasn't sure but I had to know…and what I found out is…I'm pregnant." Summer had braced herself for the collective gasp that filled the room. She felt her heart ache and swell at the same time as Sirius immediately stood up and made his way over to her.
"I'm here, Summer. Whatever I have to do to be in this baby's life, I'll do it." The determination and sincerity in his voice broke Summer's heart.
Summer desperately wished she had clarified from the start that it wasn't Sirius' baby. Now she was going to have to break his heart by making that painfully clear. The tears came fast and hard and Sirius pulled her into a tight hug. Stop being so nice to me! she screamed in her head, wishing she could find her voice to say them aloud. Can't you all see what a rotten friend I've been? How horrible of a person I am? The thought only made her cry harder.
"The baby…" she began between sobs. "It's not…it's not…yours." It seemed to take her ages before she finally choked out the words.
Sirius pulled back slightly, looking hurt and confused. "Oh…I…didn't…I shouldn't have assumed…"
Summer shook her head, using all her will power to stop weeping. "I thought it was," she told him. "I wish, with everything I have in me, that it was yours," she said soberly, forcing herself to look him in the eyes as she spoke. She held his gaze until she couldn't take it anymore, dropping her eyes to her lap. "I was literally sick to my stomach when Madam Pomfrey told me it wasn't yours. I threw up."
"How…" Sirius hesitated for a second, his voice raw. He cleared his throat and tried again. "How do you know it's not mine? I didn't think they could tell this early. And how could it not be mine? I was your first, I thought I was your only."
Summer swallowed her pride, something she found was getting easier the more she did it, and told the others the whole story. Everyone listened patiently. She glanced around at the others and her heart skipped a beat when she saw not a judgmental look in any of their eyes. Instead the other's held expressions of pity, support and…admiration? Though it boggled her mind what they could possibly admire about a person who was pregnant from a drunken one night stand.
She realized then that she was the luckiest person in the world. She treated this lot like they were the scum of the earth for their first six years of knowing each other. She regretted now more than ever that she had ever become friends with Robyn.
"I think I speak for everyone when I say, we are here for you," Lily said, being the first to speak after Summer sharing her story. Everyone else nodded in agreement.
She let out a sigh of relief as Carmen squeezed her hand, giving her a smile of encouragement and Sirius wrapped his arm around her and she wanted to cry again, this time from joy. Damn these hormones she thought to herself, though she had a grin a mile wide on her face. "Thanks, that means more than I can tell you all," Summer said. She would be a single mother, but she wouldn't be raising this child alone.
A few hours later, lying in bed, Summer found herself unable to sleep for the second night in a row. This time, it was for a much different reason. The night before it had been from dread, tonight it was from hope and excitement. She knew raising this baby was going to be the hardest thing she'd ever have to do in her life, but she was up to the challenge. Summer had never been one to be strong or confident. She, at this point in time, wasn't even sure she knew who she was. She was sure of one thing though, she was a mother. She would be the best mum ever; she wouldn't fail at this like she had so much else. Tonight she had said a Silencing Charm so she could be alone with her thoughts. Would it be a boy or a girl? Part of her hoped for a little girl. Somehow, she thought a little girl would be a second chance. Her chance to raise someone better than her. Her parents hadn't done a very good job of instilling a sense of self in Summer and she knew she would never do something that horrible to her own child.
Her thoughts turned to the talk she and Carmen had had earlier after she informed every one of her news. She had told Carmen about her home life. Her parents had been about her age, actually a year younger to be exact, when they had her. And they openly resented her for taking away their youth. Sure, they provided the basics for her: food, shelter, clothes on her back. But they never made her feel like she was worthy of love and affection. She would often ask to just have a chat with her mother.
Her mum would glance up at her, her light brown hair pulled into a messy bun atop her head. Summer grimaced as her blue eyes stared back at her, exhaustion evident in them. "Well, I would love to talk, Summer," her mother would began, her voice dripping with resentment, "but you see I just got back from the second job I have to work to support you."
Her parents liked to throw it in her face that they worked three jobs between the two of them because they hadn't been able to pursue better paying careers that required training due to having to raise her. Summer wiped away a tear running down her cheek. She quickly pushed the thought of her parents from her mind and went back to fantasizing about her child.
Summer wasn't the only one not sleeping when she was supposed to be. Lily tiptoed her way to the boys' dorm and opened the door as quietly as possible. She bit back a laugh as Sirius let out a boisterous snore. She slowly made her way to James' bed. This time the boy was on his back, though he was still spread out. His right leg was hanging off the bed. Lily didn't understand why he took up so much space. Though she usually slept on her side and barely moved in her sleep. James was snoring lightly as Lily reached her hand out, pushing on his back slightly.
"James," she whispered. She shook him a little bit harder and his eyes flew open.
"Lil—"
"Shhh," she said quietly, covering his mouth. She glanced quickly around the room to make sure none of the other boys had been disturbed. She removed her hand from James' mouth.
"What are you doing here?" he whispered, rolling over on his side so he could see her better.
"I—I wanted to see you," she said, cursing the warmth spreading through her body. Ever since the other morning, her hormones had been running wild and she wanted nothing more than to feel James' hands on her, his lips gracing hers. Unfortunately, they had been super busy and hadn't even had time to talk, so naturally any alone time had been out of the question. So she had decided she was going to make some time for them."I..." she trailed off, not really sure how to describe her feelings.
Luckily for her, James could see the fire in her eyes, making an explanation unnecessary. "Lily Evans," James spoke, amusement laced through his low voice as he grinned broadly at her. "Who knew you were such a minx."
Lily felt herself blush deeply, something James could detect with the moonlight spilling into the room. "I'm not…" she sighed, realizing any attempts to defend herself would be useless. She glared at him slightly. He was enjoying this entirely too much. "Listen," she said, her annoyance apparent in her voice, "can we just go to the Common Room?"
James smirked at her, "Lily Evans, Head Girl, wants to snog me in the Common Room at—" he glanced at his clock, "two in the morning." Lily bit her lip, embarrassed because she knew her actions were wrong, but she was only human, after all. "That's damn sexy," James continued, sitting up. "And I would be more than happy to oblige." He grabbed her hand and the two made their way down the steps.
Lily knew she shouldn't be doing this. She was only slightly ashamed of the arousal that the thrill was causing her as she had other things on her mind. James pushed her roughly against the couch, smashing his lips down on hers. She let her legs fall open on either side of them, grinding into him slightly. Her hands found their way to his hair. She heard James groan as she pushed her pelvis into his and smiled to herself before repeating the movement.
James pulled away from her lips abruptly. "If you don't stop doing that, we are going to end up doing something we will both regret in the morning," he told her, his voice gruff.
Lily giggled. "Stop doing what?" she asked innocently. "Oh, you mean this?" she asked, mischief in her emerald eyes as she pushed her hips towards his again. She grinned broadly up at him, not even attempting to feign innocence.
James groaned slightly before a smirk was placed upon his lips. "That's how it's going to be, huh?" he asked. "Fine, two can play by that game." Lily cowered a bit under his impish grin. Before she could speak, his lips were on the little patch of skin under her ear. She cursed the day that she had told him that was one of her favorite spots to be kissed.
She gasped slightly and squirmed under him as he continued his attack on the spot. Suddenly, she felt a rough hand on her shirt covered breast. She felt James smile against her neck as he realized she wasn't wearing a bra. She could feel his warm, calloused hand through the thin material of her shirt. She had never been touched this way before and her head swam with delirium. She had to make him stop before she exploded; the pleasure, the teasing, it was more than she could handle.
"Mmm," she moaned, unable to form a coherent thought let alone the command to make him stop. He took this as a sign of encouragement and bit down on her neck as he began kneading the soft breast through her shirt. The sharp pain of the bite cleared her head just long enough for her to speak. "Enough," she spit out, finally.
James gave the spot an apologetic lick before pushing himself into a sitting position. He glanced down at the flushed redhead whose breathing was extremely labored. "See," he said, grinning at her, "it's not very fun being teased, is it?"
"Uh uh," Lily said, shaking her head and still trying to recover from his touch. James opened his mouth to speak but Lily hushed his words by sitting up and pressing her lips to his. The couple sat in the Common Room, snogging for another half hour or so before heading back to their respective beds. Lily had a grin of satisfaction upon her face, knowing that these were the best days of her life thus far.
Jonte Aliscious: If you read the chapter, yes, Summer is pregnant, but it's not Sirius' baby (which I hope takes away from some of the cliche) Lets take it back a few years, (I took a couple year hiatus from this story) I had always kind of played with the idea of Summer being pregnant and it being Sirius' baby (I was young and naive :P) but even then decided it was TOO cliche so I tossed away the idea. When I came back to writing it, I started toying with the idea again but decided it wouldn't be Sirius' baby. I still went back and forth with the idea for a week, wondering if it the idea was too "worn out" but then the more I started thinking about the idea, the more other plot lines started coming to me. One of which happens in the next chapter and actual leads up to an idea I've had from the very beginning. Now, the reasoning for this event was pretty vague and kind of a "just because" but now it has a more solid reasoning for happening. Also, Summer being pregnant is (I've decided) very essential to her finding herself. She didn't have a very good childhood (as mentioned) and never really had a sense of self or worth until she met Robyn and then she just kinda formed herself to fit Robyn's mold. She's never known who she was and getting pregnant kinda makes her want to discover herself. She wants to "be" somebody for her child. So...yea it's a total cliche but I hope I've added enough of my own little twists and reasoning to keep you interested in the story. Also, I hope the effort I put into this explanation shows how much I appreciate you as a reader. Much love, Tara.
Also, Eleos, I threw in that last little snogging (there's that word again :D) scene just for you. Also, because this was a rather serious scene and I'm too much of a goofball to handle too much seriousness at one time. :P