Ahhh, one chapter closer to the end -tear- I'm posting this sooner than I had planned because I have over half of the Epilogue written and over half of Chapter 23 (the second to last chapter) done. I still haven't written Chapter 24 yet but I have ideas for it. I should have this story done in the next couple of days or so. -dances then cries- I'm not really sure how I feel about this. I am SO PLEASED with how the Epilogue is coming along. It came so easily to me and I rather like it...anyway, enough rambling and teasing you guys. You guys know the drill!
imsuchanut: Hahaha yes she did! It's ridiculous how happy I was writing that scene.
4BlOnDiE4: Thanks for the review. Right now I'm not writing L/J because quite frankly, Summer's situation is more interesting :P Lily and James are together right now. There's not a whole lot going on with them, they are happy, they are blissful, they are in love blah blah blah :P I will say that you get a little more Lily/James action at the end of this chapter.
Jenn222: Haha I was quite fond of that line. I too love Carmen. As I said, there's not a whole lot going on with James and Lily right now. I will get back to their relationship in the next chapter. :)
aboutBlank: Hahahaha, that made me laugh. Yes, Carmen is very bad but that's what makes her so much fun. Thanks for the review.
LilyHeartsJames: Aww excellent -ego swells- Thanks for the review. Yeah I, myself, am quite glad that somebody *finally* gave Robyn what was coming to her! Don't worry on missing the last chapter, it's all good. :)
Super Cara: So glad you finally got to read the whole thing, and not a problem with you not reviewing every chapter. That's a lot of typing. :P I love the relationship between Sirius and Summer, as well as the one between Sirius and Lily. I just love Sirius in general. The whole Carmen/Summer bonding as much as they did kind of snuck up on me, to be honest. I always kinda of imaged Faith and Summer getting super close, but I think I like the idea of Carmen and Summer better. Carmen is going to help Summer develop into her own person better than Faith would. I don't want it to end either. A sequel wasn't really something I planned on doing but the Epilogue is three years after they graduate so it's like a little mini sequel. Also, I may be writing a one shot between two characters that I can't reveal at this time :)
Also, I would like to thank (And yes, I am shamelessly begging for more reviews :P)
Chapter 21
Carmen and Summer entered the Common Room through the portrait hole, laughing. Summer was clutching onto Carmen for support to make sure she didn't topple over from her fit of giggles. Carmen wiped a tear from her eye. Lily, James, Remus, and Kevin were sitting on the couch and turned their attention to the hysterical girls.
"What's so funny?" James asked as the two girls reached them.
Summer took in a deep breath, composing herself slightly. "Carmen," she began before another wave of cackles took over. "I can't even…Oh, Merlin, I can't breathe." She glanced over to see Carmen placing herself in Kevin's lap, burying her head in his shoulder, her whole body shaking from laughter. "It hurts," Summer gasped out between howls. She plopped down on the couch next to Lily as she unceremoniously dropped her bag at her feet.
Carmen let out a snort and Summer bent forward in her fit. The other's all glanced at each other, chuckling at the girls' laughter. They resolved that it would probably be a while before they found out what was so funny.
A little while later, Summer had calmed down after several failed attempts to tell the other's what had happened. Carmen wasn't much better and after a bit, they just gave up altogether, finding their need to breathe was more important than sharing the hilarity with their friends.
Summer looked up from her Charms book. She glanced over at James. "Where's Sirius?" she asked, setting down her quill.
"Up in the dorm," James answered, turning his attention from Lily, who was playing with his hands idly. "He's been kind of withdrawn lately. He told us he was going to study but I think he just wants to be alone for now."
"Oh," Summer said, her face dropping. "Well I need to talk to him." She closed her book, placing it along with the quill and parchment on the table.
Her heart was pounding as she walked up the steps. How was it that fifteen minutes ago she had been laughing so hard it hurt and now she so nervous she was almost shaking? She reached the boys' dorm, stopping to tuck her hair behind her ear, more out of something to prolong opening the door than annoyance at the loose strands. She pushed the door open slightly and found Sirius laying on his bed, twirling his wand in his right hand, his left arm lazily behind his head.
She frowned slightly at the annoyed expression on his face. She had seen him scowl more since she'd given him news of her pregnancy than she had the whole time she'd known him. Almost a week had passed since that dreadful day.
"Sirius?" she asked, hoping to get his attention though she knew he had heard her come in. He turned his head to her slightly, anger flaring in his grey eyes, before looking straight ahead once again. She took that as a sign to step further into the room. She timidly sat on the bed next to his, her heart racing. She nervously started playing with a loose thread on her shirt, not looking up at the boy before her. "Are you…are you mad at me?"
He turned an icy stare towards her. "Why ever would you think that?" he spat bitterly.
Summer cringed. Okay, she told herself, I probably deserved that. It was more a shock than anything else to hear such a tone come from Sirius. He was always joking around and happy. She knew it was a rhetorical question but answered it anyway.
"You've hardly said three words to me in the past week," she said, biting her bottom lip.
"This is how I deal," Sirius told her. "I don't handle my temper very well so it's better to just stay away from the thing that's pissing me off." He made no movement to turn to her, instead focusing his eyes on the wand in his hand.
Summer watched the wand, mesmerized and terrified. She didn't think Sirius would ever cause harm to her but people did crazy things when they were angry. And Sirius was about as angry as one could get.
"C-can you please put down the wand?" He let out an annoyed sigh before placing the wand on his bed side table. It didn't get past her that he still hadn't looked at her. She thanked him shyly. "Look, you have every right to be pissed," she told him. "I mean, I guess I did technically cheat on you."
This time he did look at her. She almost wished he hadn't as his grey eyes bore into hers. She fought the urge not to cringe again. "Is that why you think I'm mad?" he growled.
"Well, yeah," she answered, dropping her eyes to the loose thread she was still toying with when she could no longer take his glare. The air felt heavy and thick, you could almost cut the tension with a knife. She took in a deep breath and forced herself to continue. "I mean, it was before I broke up with you."
"That's not why I'm upset," Sirius insisted, though his voice didn't soften. "That's not even close." Summer chanced a peek and saw Sirius pinch the bridge of his nose, his face scrunched up. She could tell he was fighting not to lose control. She waited patiently for him to continue, knowing she had no place to interrupt. "I just…dammit, Summer, why would you do something so stupid? How could you do something so stupid?" Summer flinched at his words. She had no words to defend herself.
He dropped to his knees before her. "Look at me," he demanded roughly. She obliged immediately, her head shooting up at neck breaking speed, ready to comply with anything he said. "You are so much better than that," he told her, his voice barely above a whisper though she could still hear the frustration it held. Wait, what? "You are a million times better than drunken one night stands. I'm so pissed at you for not seeing that."
"That's why you're mad?" she asked, immediately feeling daft, that was what he had just said, after all.
Sirius nodded, his long black hair bouncing slightly. "I'm so disappointed in you for letting yourself believe all the shit Robyn has filled your head with. You are worth something and I can't for the life of me understand why you would let someone allow you to think otherwise."
Summer felt the hot tears spill from her eyes. Sirius reached up and wiped them away.
"I…thank you," Summer said, at a loss for any other words.
Sirius shook his head roughly. "Don't thank me, I haven't done anything." The anger in his eyes had subsided almost completely. "I just wish I could help you see how wonderful you are, how much happiness you deserve."
"You have," Summer insisted. "You and the rest of your friends have, for the first time in my life, made me feel like I have value. I just didn't see it then." She went to drop her head again but Sirius caught her chin, forcing her to look him in the eyes.
"Say it again," Sirius told her a little more roughly than he had intended. When she didn't speak he repeated himself. "I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me that you have value. I want you to believe it."
Summer felt her bottom lip tremble and her heart swell with gratitude. "I…" she began, gasping for a breath and willing herself not to cry. "I have value. I am worth something," she insisted forcefully, believing it with all of her heart. Sirius pulled her into a tight hug and she felt the tears of joy and relief spill. I am important, she told herself once again as she hiccupped through the sobs. Sirius held her like that for a few minutes, allowing her to soak his shirt with her tears. "I love you, Sirius," she said, composing herself slightly though she didn't break from his embrace. "I love you and Lily and Carmen and Faith for everything you all have done for me."
Sirius shook his head, pulling away from her slightly and meeting her eyes. "We didn't do anything, Summer, we just gave you the little nudge you needed."
Summer bit her bottom lip again, her hands dropping to her sides. "You have though; you all have done more than you know. For the first time in my life I feel like I actually belong somewhere. I can't remember a time when I've felt accepted." Before Sirius could respond, she was speaking again. "I…I actually came up here to ask you a question. I guess you've heard about Carmen and I's trip to the Head Master's office and he instructed that I go to Madam Pomfrey's sometime this week." She hesitated slightly. "I was wondering…and feel free to tell me no…but I was wondering if you would go with me.
Sirius answered immediately. "Yes, of course I'll go with you."
Summer fought to keep the smile off her face, just in case he was jerking her around. "I was going to ask Carmen but…I don't know. I know she's not very good at this emotional support thing. Actually, she's getting a lot better and has shown me a side of her that I've never seen before, but I don't want to ask too much of her. She's helped me out so much already—"
Sirius chuckled slightly, interrupting her. Summer was adorable when she got flustered. "I said I'll go. It would be my pleasure."
"Really?" she asked, still not allowing herself to believe his words. He nodded but spoke no more. "Thank you so much," she gushed. "I was planning on going tomorrow after dinner, if that's okay, I can go another time if that's—"
"Summer," Sirius said, halting her babbling. "Tomorrow after dinner is fine. But you have to promise me something."
Summer sighed; of course there would be a condition to his agreeing. "What is it?" she asked nervously.
"You have to promise me that you will keep telling yourself that you are important. Can you do that for me?"
Summer allowed herself to smile for the first time since she had walked into the room. "I think I can do that."
"Good."
OooOooO
James found Lily in the library during lunch. It was the first place he had looked. Lily had noticeably changed since they had started dating. She was happier than he had seen her in years and she was even a little more lenient with student's violating school rules. Not that she gone crazy with it or anything and let someone who hexed another student off scot free, but she let little offences slide. However, some things hadn't changed, one of them being how Lily approached her studies. It was the one thing she had absolutely refused to budge on. He stepped into the huge library and searched the various tables for the redhead, when he didn't spot her, he entered the library more. He found her in one of the isles. He stopped and admired her as she stretched, reaching for a book.
She must have already found herself a table at which to study for she was missing her cloak. For this, James thanked Merlin as he watched her skirt raise a little, showing more of her glorious legs. A smirk formed on his face as he walked over to her.
"Careful there, Miss Evans," he whispered in her ear, pushing into her slightly. "I could almost see your bum."
"What?" Lily hissed, quickly giving up on her attempt to reach her desired book as she tugged down her skirt. She turned to James glaring as he let out a chuckle, letting her know he was only joking. "You prat."
He grinned at her. "Well I could," he told her cheekily. "I just didn't mention that it was in my imagination." When Lily's cheeks pinked a bit, his grin broadened. "Are you blushing? What happened to the Sexy Lily that came to my room at two in the morning to wake me up for a snogging session?"
Lily shushed him as she frantically glanced around to make sure no one had heard him. Her attempt to glare at him failed miserable as she looked into his eyes. "Could you not announce that to the whole library?" she hissed slightly, fighting a losing battle to stay peeved at him. "We could get in trouble, you know."
James just continued to smile at her. "My apologies, dear." He glanced up at the row of books. "Which one were you trying to get?"
"The green one," she told him, pointing.
James deliberately pressed himself into her as she reached up to grab the book. She felt a breath hitch in her throat. "We can't do this here," she whispered.
"Do what, dear?" James asked almost too innocently. "I was merely grabbing a book for you", he said reaching around in front of her to hand her the aforementioned item. "However, if I were trying to do something, don't you think I would try a little harder?" he asked, his calloused hand rose up to stroke her arm.
His gentle touch sent shivers down her arm and she fought to keep control. "James, please," she panted slightly. "We will get in t-trouble. And I really do need to study."
"Okay, Lily," he said, stepping back a little. "One last thing though," he said, pushing her fiery hair to the side as he leaned down to give a gentle lick to her pulse point.
Curse him Lily thought to herself as she heard him walk away. She leaned against the bookshelf for support, trying to regain control. She fought to even out her breathing, wishing away the warmth spreading between her legs. When the hell had she become so…sensual? She had never been one to have such urges, but it was like being around James just made her want him with everything she had. She didn't exactly want to have sex with him, she just wanted to be near him, wanted to feel his touch. Because, Merlin, his touch was amazing.
"Everything all right, Miss Evans?" a shrill voice pierced through her thoughts and she snapped her head up to look at the elderly lady in front of her.
"Yeah, everything's fine."
"Are you sure? You looked to be in discomfort."
"I'm fine…just…uh…I am…I have cramps," she blurted out suddenly. Smooth, Lily, real smooth. Though lying had never been a skill she'd acquired.
The madam seemed to accept this answer easily enough and nodded before turning away. Lily took a deep breath before gathering the books she had picked out; including the one James had grabbed for her, and made her way to a table where she had already spread out her parchment, quill, and ink.
OooOooO
Summer made her way up to the boys' dorm. It was around seven in the evening and in fifteen minutes she would be in the Hospital Wing. She knocked on the door and waited for a voice from the other side to instruct her to come in. Summer opened the door and found James and Remus sitting on James' bed playing a game of Wizard's Chess.
"—thought you and Lily would've been hanging out tonight," Remus was saying as he instructed one of his pawns to their next placement. It looked to Summer that the game had just begun, naturally as dinner had ended a mere ten minutes ago.
"She's studying," James said, slightly distraught. "I had to force her to eat dinner tonight; she had already spent lunch in the library."
Summer stood there awkwardly, not sure if she should say something. Surely they knew she was there, one of them had invited her in after all. It was James who looked up at her first. "Sirius is in the bathroom, he's just about ready," he informed her.
She barely had time to nod before the bathroom door opened and Sirius stepped out of the bathroom, his hair looking freshly combed. Summer giggled a little. "You got a hot date? Or is it Poppy that you are trying to impress?"
Sirius shrugged slightly, tightening his tie and Summer thought she was going to lose it right then and there; she had never seen Sirius wear his tie. "That woman hates me as it is, so I figured I wouldn't give her any reason to reprimand me."
Summer nodded in understanding as she fought back her grin. "I'm sure she's not the only staff member at this school that isn't too fond of you, but I don't see you trying to impress them."
Sirius shuddered slightly but managed to turn it into a small shrug at the last second. "Yeah, well none of them are as scary as her," he said, studying himself in the mirror to make sure he was presentable enough for the Healer.
"Sirius, if I'd've known you dislike Poppy this much, I would've asked Carmen. I don't understand why you didn't just tell me no. I would've understood."
Sirius turned to her, meeting her eyes forcefully. "I told you I'd be here for you and Sirius Black stands by his word."
"Oh, well if we are referring to ourselves in third person, than Summer Johnson greatly appreciates the sacrifice you are making for her," she tittered slightly, earning a glare from Sirius and chuckle from James and Remus.
"Let's get this over with," Sirius said, ignoring the other's laughter. Summer waved goodbye to the other boys as they walked from the room.
The two made light conversation as they made their way to the Hospital Wing. Sirius hesitated slightly outside the door. He motioned for her to go ahead. "I'm right behind you," he told her.
She rolled her eyes at him slightly before stepping into the cold room. Madam Pomfrey noticed her immediately and made her way to the pregnant girl. "Miss Johnson, I was anticipating your visit," she said softly. Suddenly her features hardened, she was no longer looking at Summer. No doubt she had spotted Sirius. "Ahh, Mr. Black," said the Healer with contempt though she kept her voice steady. "I assume you need medical attention. You don't appear harmed but this wouldn't be the first time you had acquired an injury I couldn't spot at first. You probably got it from some prank or another that back fired, no doubt."
Sirius shifted slightly, he stood a mere two feet behind Summer. "I'm actually just here to offer Summer support, ma'am."
Ma'am? Summer almost choked. She had never heard Sirius refer to someone as "ma'am." He must really be afraid of Madam Pomfrey. Though she had to admit it was rather amusing to watch him squirm this way. It was so different from the arrogance he usually held himself with. Summer glanced back at in awe, wondering why he didn't just use his "charm" on the Healer.
"It doesn't work on her," he whispered, answering Summer's unasked question.
"No, it doesn't," concurred the Healer. "And it only took Mr. Black here five years to learn that."
Summer felt like pinching herself, surely she was dreaming. Poppy and Sirius were both acting so different from their usual dispositions. Summer found it rather entertaining, she admitted to herself.
"I assume you are the father, Mr. Black," Poppy said sharply.
Sirius shook his head. "Surprisingly, no," he answered. "I'm just here to offer a friend moral support."
Poppy fixed him with a hard look before deciding he was telling the truth. She let out a sigh and instructed Summer to follow her to a bed. Summer lied down just as she was told to. Sirius stood by her head. Summer was watching nervously as the Healer got out a couple different vials, swishing her wand around and muttering spells. She felt a large palm cover her own fidgeting hands. He separated the two and held onto one of them. Summer glanced up at him gratefully. He nodded at her with a small smile.
Finally Madam Pomfrey was ready and turned back to the pair. "I assume you are okay with Mr. Black seeing your bare stomach." Summer nodded before being instructed to place the hand that Sirius wasn't holding by her side. Poppy noticed her shaking slightly. "It's okay, Miss Johnson, we aren't going to do anything that we didn't do last time. Also, I am going to give a few Vitamin Potions that are going to give you the extra nutrients that you and the baby need."
"No." Summer spat out suddenly. Madam Pomfrey glanced at her, alarmed. Summer blushed slightly. "I don't want to take anything that's going to possibly cause harm to the baby."
The Healer nodded her head in understanding. "I won't give you anything that poses any such risks," she assured her. "There are just a few vitamins and nutrients that you need to take that are going to help you and the baby become stronger. No worries though, I will always inform you of any risks of anything I give you."
Summer let out a sigh of relief. "Okay."
"Ready?" Poppy asked. Her hands were on the hem of Summer's shirt. Summer nodded and the Madam pushed it up slightly. She pointed her wand at the bare flesh, muttering a spell. Once again a little nugget glowed beneath her stomach. Summer grinned as she heard Sirius gasp slightly.
Summer stared at the little glowing shape. It was the same as last time though it looked slightly different. "It got bigger?" she questioned, not removing her eyes as the glow began to fade slightly.
Beside her, Madam Pomfrey nodded. "Yes, fetuses grow rather rapidly this early into the pregnancy." She was already poising her wand. With another muttered spell a thumping sound filled the room.
"Holy shit," Sirius whispered.
"Mr. Black!" the Healer screeched, glaring at him. "I will not allow that kind of language in this room. One more outburst from you and I will ask you to leave."
"I'm sorry, Madam," Sirius said, flabbergasted, shuffling slightly and cursing himself for not paying more attention to his actions. "It's just…wow. Is that the heartbeat?"
Summer nodded, in awe herself even though she had already heard it once before. "It's pretty cool, isn't it?"
"That's bloody brilliant," he said, amazed. "There's actually a living thing in there."
Madam Pomfrey fought her annoyance though she did roll her eyes slightly. Summer caught the Healer's movement and bit back her giggle. She wondered briefly what Sirius had done to cause the woman to dislike him so much. Then she remembered that he was Sirius Black, master of pranks and basic mayhem.
The madam was speaking again, breaking Summer out of her thoughts. "Have you told the father yet?" Poppy asked.
Summer shook her head. "I'm not going to. I don't think he will be much help."
The older woman shrugged slightly. "You never know," she said. "People can surprise you."
"I don't think that will happen here. Besides, I don't need him to raise this baby," Summer told the woman the same thing she had already told her friends numerous times. She had made up her mind that this was her baby and hers alone.
"Raising a child alone can be difficult," the Madam told her. "It very well may be the hardest thing you will ever do in your lifetime." Repeating what Summer had already told herself before.
"I…" Summer began, biting her lip. She dropped her head in shame.
"She won't be," Sirius said cogently, causing both women to look at him. "Raising this baby alone, that is," he clarified. "She has friends that are going to be there with her every step of the way."
Summer smiled up at him, appreciation evident in her features. She had already figured that her friends would help her but that had been more of wishful thinking. Hearing one of them say it out loud meant a lot to the pregnant girl. Even Poppy smiled at him a little, a bit of respect sparkling in her eyes.
Summer broke the moment by speaking. "When can I find out what it is?"
Poppy turned her attention back to the girl on the cot. "The genitals usually don't develop until about twenty weeks," she glanced at the girl, reading something in her eyes. "But some woman claim they just know what the baby is even before then."
Summer nodded in understanding. "And how accurate is that?"
"Most women who just have a feeling of the gender are usually about ninety percent accurate."
Summer smiled despite herself. She wouldn't have to wait three months to find out the gender of her baby. She already knew. She had never been surer of anything in her life. She knew it her heart, mind, body, and soul. She could feel it all the way down to her toes. She didn't know how she knew. It was as if an angel had whispered it in her ear.
OooOooO
"KEVIN!" Carmen screamed in ecstasy as the headboard slammed against the wall one last time.
"Oh," Lily exclaimed, turning around and burying her head in James' chest. "Good work on the Silencing Charm, you two, but you forgot to lock the door."
While Lily was flustered at catching the couple in the act, James was proud of his roommate. "Way to go, Kevin!" he congratulated, turning his head slightly. As Carmen let out a "Shit!" whileshe and Kevin quickly covered their naked bodies.
"Is it safe to look yet?" Lily asked. She didn't wait for an answer as she slowly removed her head from James' chest, slowly peeking in the direction of the couple on the bed. "I'm so sorry, Carmen. Carmen?" she asked, staring at her friend. Carmen's head was rested on Kevin's chest and she looked like she was fighting to keep her eyes open.
Kevin glanced down at her, chuckling as he ran a finger through her mussed hair. "She always falls asleep afterwards. I guess it takes a lot out of her," he said as her breathing began to even out.
"I'm sorry again," Lily said nervously. "We'll just…we'll just be going." She grabbed James' hand and pulled him out the door. Once they had closed the door, she slumped against the wall, her face as red as her hair. "That was…wow." She was slightly traumatized by what she had just seen. But there was something else…she was…curious. And her curiosity only added to her embarrassment. Sure she had become more…physical in the past couple weeks that she and James had been dating but the idea of sex, of wanting sex, still ashamed her. James watched her slouch against the wall. He pushed himself against her, resting his forehead against hers.
"What's up, love?"
She let out a sigh. "It's just…will I ever be able to be that…unashamed?"
"Unashamed?" he asked confused. "Of what?" When she didn't answer right away he got the hint. "Do you mean of being able to scream my name in such passion?"
Lily nodded as best as she could with his forehead pressed to hers. "Yeah, I mean, that's just so…so raw, and I don't know. I've always prided myself on being prim and proper, and that's definitely not proper."
James chuckled slightly. "Sex isn't about proper," he told her. "It's about two people showing their love in the rawest way. It's about coming together and whatever feels good and right to you."
Lily nodded her head slightly, still not completely believing his words completely. She supposed when the time came she would know what was right. It had to be different when you were actually in the moment, and while it may look a little silly to onlookers, it wasn't about them, it was about the two people who were…connected.
Super Cara2011-08-22 . chapter 21
So I'm finally all caught up with this story. and it's SO adorable! (I was too lazy to review each chapter, please forgive me)
I absolutely adore the Siruis/Summer dynamic even if they aren't together. In my mind, Lily and Sirius have that type of relationship lol.
And I liked the whole Carmen/Summer bonding moment too.
I almost don't want this story to end. Is there any possibility of a sequel?
I'm not sure what else to say, soo... yeah... haha. Update soon please! :D
LilyHeartsJames2011-08-22 . chapter 21
Wow, another excellent chapter :) Thank God Carmen punched Robyn, she was horrible! It was about time someone did before I broke my computer screen myself :P
Sorry about not reviewing last chapter, I was busy and didn't get around to reading either chapter until I found some time. But they were both amazing, as always :D
I cant wait for the next update :)
aboutBlank2011-08-21 . chapter 21
Tsk, tsk, tsk, Carmen. Breaking someones nose and then licking off their blood. Doesn't she know she could get aids? ;)
Great chapter by the way, keep it up!xox :)
Jenn2222011-08-21 . chapter 21
Haha "She tripped." i love Carmen. More Lily and James please! There was none this chapter. Great chapter otherwise cant wait for more :)
PeacrLoveBrownies
4BlOnDiE42011-08-21 . chapter 21
A wee bit of being nosy never hurt anyone!
Another chapter complete, a bit more of the plot continued. My next question... When are you going to get back to James and Lily? I can't even recall what is going on between them.. I think there should be come more action.. I always enjoy good action :)
Brilliantly done! Waiting for more...
-A Blonde Haired Girl From Somewhere Out There
imsuchanut2011-08-21 . chapter 21
Yayyyyyy! Robyn gets it!