All the world's a fanfic, and all the humans and demons merely characters.
Disclaimer:
Youko: "Is it finally my turn? Great! Now (hem hem), none of these authors own me, myself, I, Youko, or my human form."
Kitsune: "He has a name, no da!"
Youko: "Yes, yes, whatever, back to me. They also don't own all shiny things, because they belong to yours truly. They also don't own the little shiny ring I stole when I was just a little kit. They also don't own…"
YYH Cast and authors: EXCUSE US, YOUKO! WE THINK YOU FAILED TO MENTION THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THIS FREAKIN' DISCLAIMER!"
Youko: (puzzled) You guys are more important than me?"
YYH Cast and authors: (glare) YOUKO KURAMA! WE'RE WARNING YOU NOW!"
Youko: (sigh) Ok, ok, hold your horses. They also don't own any other character in the YYH cast. Now, back to me…"
(Everyone starts chasing Youko around the room.)
Youko: (shouts out in exasperation) WHY IDIOTS? WHY CAN'T I EVER BE ATTACKED BY CRAZED, HOT, AND BEAUTIFUL, such as myself, DEMONESSES, ALONG WITH SHINY JEWELERY? WHY OH WHY? (sniff sniff)
For Lack of a Better Word… Outtakes!
The camera was set to show an empty room. There were several minutes of silence while the camera just sits there and nothing moves. Then the camera started panning slowly through the room, finally showing furniture and two girls sitting at desks. The camera finally stopped on them and there were several more moments of silence before the girls simultaneously cleared their throats and said, "And now for something completely different."
Then several squirrels ran through wearing clown outfits and shrieking while loud silly music played.
Himizu fell out of her seat behind her desk laughing her head off. Ryouko was also laughing, but she managed to keep her seat. "Oh, Monty Python," Himizu said, still laughing her head off. Ryouko agreed cheerfully.
"NOW what's wrong with you two?" Hiei asked them. He was sitting on a chair nearby, watching everything with wary eyes. He knew there was trouble coming… there was always trouble coming when the girls acted like this… which happened far more frequently than he liked to admit.
"We were watching Monty Python while drinking Mountain Dew," Himizu said cheerfully.
"It's the source of her inspiration," Ryouko told Hiei. He winced.
"Why doesn't that surprise me?" he asked. Ryouko just smiled.
"Anyways, I've decided what our next project will be!" Himizu said happily. Hiei winced even more.
"I don't know if I'm ready for this…" he said. He took several deep breaths and visibly braced himself. "Ready."
"A whole collection of random scenes and outtakes that showed up in my head one day and I wrote down but I can't find a fic to place them in, so I'm just setting it all up like a blooper reel!" Himizu exclaimed. Hiei twitched and fell over.
"Nope, wasn't ready!" he exclaimed. Ryouko shook her head.
"Weird… okay, let's go find the Cast and get this party started!" Ryouko said, marching towards the door. "You coming, Himizu?"
"Wouldn't miss it…" Himizu said, an unusually evil grin escaping onto her face. Hiei groaned under his breath, but followed the girls as they went to break the news to the rest of the Cast.
"You are out of your minds," Yusuke told them. Himizu and Ryouko looked at each other.
"Why do they all think that?" Himizu asked.
"Because it's true?" Ryouko suggested.
"Right… good point. Moving on. You guys are going to do this whether you like it or not! So let's get going!"
The Cast groaned, but they got ready to perform because otherwise… well… who knew what tortures awaited them.
Himizu sat down in her director's chair with a nearly identical one for Ryouko sitting next to her. "Megaphone," she said tersely.
"Check," Ryouko said, handing over the megaphone.
"Clipboard with transcripts."
"Check."
"Hats."
"Check," Ryouko said, plopping one director's hat on Himizu's head and one on her own head.
"Mountain Dews."
"Check."
Himizu took a quick swig of the energizing drink. "We're good to go. Places! Action!"
Ryouko: I'm evil itself.
(Saitou runs in waving his sword and yelling like a maniac)
Saitou: Demolish all evil! Demolish all evil!
Ryouko: O.O (Uses Sano as a shield)
Sano: WTF mate?
Saitou: You are evil! Evil must be demolished! Demolish all evil!
(Ryouko and Sano run)
Himizu: NOOO! SANO! (Tries to grab Sano)
Saitou: You're in my way!
Himizu: SANO! NOOOOO! (Chases Ryouko and Sano)
Saitou: Demolish all evil! Demolish all evil!
(Chase scene: Ryouko with Sano, Himizu chasing them, Saitou chasing them too, still waving his sword like a maniac)
(Mitari appears)
Himizu: MITARI! (Chases Mitari)
(Ryouko and Sano turn in the opposite direction taken by Himizu. Saitou stops running and looks from left to right, trying to decide which way to go. Sensui appears, also acting like a maniac)
Sensui: Justice be served! Justice be served!
Saitou: Demolish all evil! Demolish all evil!
(Saitou chases Ryouko and Sano; Sensui chases Himizu and Mitari)
Sensui: Justice be served! Justice be served!
Saitou: Demolish all evil! Demolish all evil!
(Ryouko, Sano, Himizu, and Mitari run, eventually forming a circle. As they pass each other, the girls high-five each other.)
(Sensui and Saitou keep running and crash into each other)
Himizu and Ryouko: YES!
(Sensui and Saitou are unconscious)
(Ryouko and Himizu high-five again. They link arms and link arms with Sano and Mitari and walk away into the sunset.)
Sano and Mitari: Meow…
Hiei: No three-letter word can rule my fate… COLD!
(Everyone falls over)
Hiei: Bwa ha ha ha! Faked you out there! Bwa ha ha ha ha!
Kaito: -.-() Okay, who gave the fire demon sugar?
Youko: Ha ha ha! (Throws away empty five-gallon container of ice cream)
(Himizu and Hiei are standing and glaring at each other)
Hiei: Forget it… I'm not doing it.
Himizu: For the five hundredth time, I said Hulk must smash and Hulk is going to smash!
Hiei: (Flips Himizu off)
Himizu: YOU LITTLE TWIT! (Attacks Hiei with mallet)
Ryouko: Oh for the love of…
Risu: Gods, Hiei, stop being so difficult… just smash the damn chickens!
(Himizu strangling Hiei)
Himizu: I SAID HULK MUST SMASH! HULK WILL SMASH, BECAUSE I SAID SO! HULK MUST SMASH!
Kitsune: (Freaking out) What if we get attacked by demons? What if Karasu appears? What if, what if, what if, what if, what if, what if?
Ryouko: (Picks up a rock and hits Kitsune on the head) SHADDUP!
Himizu: If what if's were skiffs, we'd all be sailors.
Everyone stares blankly, imagining a ship with all of them on it. Then Ryouko begins to sing "I've been working on the railroad."
Upon finding out that Youko has a sister…
Yusuke: "Youko has a sister? Bet she's one foxy chick!"
(Go ahead, groan. It's stupid, I know… I almost deleted this one.)
Kurama: "Friends, Romans, and crazy demons, all hail Emperor Hiei."
Hiei enters, taps fingers together and says, "Die!" Then he runs around killing demons and cursing Ryouko and Himizu.
Ryouko (wearing a director's hat): Yusuke, you need to stand there! No, there! Move a foot to your left! Another foot! No, back to your right! Damnit Yusuke, listen to me!
(Hiei sneaks up behind her and steals the hat, tries it on, and cuts a hole in it for his hair) (Ryouko faints and is revived by Kurama)
Ryouko: "Off with his hair!" (Chases Hiei with a chainsaw)
(Finally tosses the chainsaw aside, tackles Hiei, and ties his hair with a pink bow that can be removed by him saying that he is Yukina's brother)
Hiei: I hate you! All I did was steal your hat!
Ryouko: And you ruined it! So you must pay the price!
Yusuke: "Who… who… who…"
Kuwabara: "It's an owl!"
Hiei: (Evil grin) "Owls… Taste like chicken."
Kuwabara in Algebra
Teacher: "Now, just as a test to make sure you are all in the right class… what is 2 + 2?"
Whole Class: "4!"
Kuwabara: (Holds up two fingers) "I have two apples… (Holds up two more fingers) and I have two more apples… (Brings the four fingers close together, eyes shifting from finger to finger) but then, we have a tree… (Pause) Then we have Granny's apple pie, and then we add all the apples that all the teachers have for no good reason at all. And THEN you add… (Expression of rapturous delight) the grocery store."
(Whole class stares blankly)
Teacher: "Kuwabara, what are you doing?"
Kuwabara: (Innocently) "Trying to work out the problem, ma'am."
Four dark shadows can be seen standing on a stage. When music strikes up, four spotlights light up the four main YYH boys, all of whom are wearing very classy suits and black sunglasses. As the music plays, they start singing and strutting around in time to the music:
"Clean shirt, new shoes, And I don't know where I am goin' to. Silk suit, black tie, I don't need a reason why. They come runnin' just as fast as they can, Cuz every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man."
The boys continue strutting and preening as they sing along to the music (adjusting their clothes and running their hands through their hair, peering over their sunglasses to shoot devastatingly sexy glances at the camera, etc.)
"Gold watch, diamond ring, I ain' missin'not a single thing. And cufflinks, stick pin, When I step out I'm gonna do you in. They come runnin' just as fast as they can, Cuz every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man."
"Top coat, top hat, I don't worry coz my wallet's fat. Black shades, white gloves, Lookin' sharp and lookin' for love. They come runnin' just as fast as they can, Cuz every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man."
(Yes I'm aware there is no point to this, but tell me this image is not completely and utterly fantastic… I definitely fantasized about it the entire time I was listening to that song, and even played it again to keep the fantasy going.)
A/N: Yeah, I know, random and weird. Don't say I didn't warn you. Plus this is me we're talking about, you should expect it.