Isn't it obvious
I am so tempted to touch. I want to wake up with you; I want to feel the passion that is sweating the night. It feels like we are here, but you are far away from me. I'm officially going crazy with these thoughts. Even now, at first glance, I can say.
I really, really love you.
You are everything I want…
Somehow, my body will not let me forget you, the feel of your embrace, the scent that you carried with you. It is all still there, somehow, but not clearly, I still remember. But can I express this now, when I've loved you for life…I know you or maybe I don't, I can be dreaming and this is just plain crazy. It has never felt like this…but…
But I'm not sure…if I can love you anymore…Still I'm selfish enough to try and make you all mine, I will love you for life. Even if I do not remember you from my early childhood, I want to hold you so tight, and you will always be in my heart…you will always be that stuttered beat in my heart.
Chapter 9
Meeting And Parting
I want to touch him
I want to touch him
I want to touch him
Sasuke writhed in his bed, his breath coming in short as he tugged at his sheets, the images of an older version of himself, but a lot prettier with long hair kept coming to his mind. The man was older, stronger, sexier, all that things that he was not and as he dreamt, a strange longing filled him. A strong need to reach out and hold, to hold on to the impossible, his arms always tried to wrap around the air and it made him feel foolish. The void in his chest had never felt so heavy and empty as it did now…
He would find himself whimpering to feel that warmth and the single thought that filled him, I want to touch him, want to hold him, want him to love me… He sat up in bed panting hard, his eyes wide open and his body in a cold shivering sweat, his fingers clenching and unclenching on his bed sheets. His mouth was dry and he looked around his dark room, he swiftly stood up, his entire frame shaking and his skin tightening against his bones in search for warmth. He felt as though he was going to fall, his head felt heavy and he felt dizzy for a moment or so, and his heart clenched painfully in his chest. Why was this happening?
His chest felt like it was empty and in pain and he felt as though he was about to split in half from it, he could barely pull himself together. Biting into his lower lip, he glanced outside, the cold and constant moon shinning down upon the earth, but there was something odd about this night. He lowered his gaze to his pale hand that was clutching onto his bed sheets and started to calm down as he felt reality sink into him. That was when soft music seemed to fill the air, and there were people laughing out on the front yard. He stood up and walked over to the window and he could see the orange light stretch out through it from the house. For a moment, as he thought he couldn't breathe anymore, he was able to take in a deep breath to fill his heavy lungs.
Something was strange about this night. Whipping his hand across his forehead he went to his attached shower and took a quick one. He then dried his body, looking himself in the mirror and feeling strange about who he was. He then ran his hands through his hair and then reached for his clothes. Dark blue boxers, and then he pulled on soft blue jeans. His socks were white and then he placed on his dark blue shoes that had black lines running across them, and the toes part was white.
He headed back into his room and looked at his shirts, he was in a light mood so he picked out a white shirt from within. He pulled out a white hoodie as well, that had had a black line running across it as well and put them both on, both baggy around his smaller frame. They kept him warm during the nights that were furiously cold and wild like tonight. Taking another deep breath he decided to go down stairs for a snack, just something that would settle his stomach.
He hissed as he stepped out into the hall, the lights there were bright. Usually they were dimmed, he bowed his head and narrowed his eyes as he tried to open them once again, one of his arms pressing to his forehead as he provided some shade for his eyes. It took some time, but soon his eyes adjusted to the brighter light and he walked out of there, a frown etched in his face. Then he felt a pull as he was heading down stairs. A pull that directed him towards the main living room, at top the stairs and begged him to descend down towards them or whatever was causing the pull in his chest. A pull in his muscles, and pull in his mind, shattering and needy as it was.
The voices of those people he thought he had imagined were getting louder…was he by any chance still dreaming. Shaking his head, he decided that that was ridiculous, he had just woken up…maybe it was life that was a dream. Maybe this life was all in his head and he had no real control over what he knew as reality and what was fake, the mystery of life would be that he would never know. He could be someone's imagination for all he knew.
Even more light swam in the room as he walked down the stairs and then over to the living room. He stopped as soon as he reached the top staircase that over looked the living room. What he saw, took his breath away.
There were people dancing, there were many people there that he had never seen before, period. There were bright colors and glittering gems on all the women, who seemed to be flowers in full bloom. There were men all dressed in black tuxedos and bowing to the women….There was his mother, beautiful as ever in her dark blue dress and there was his father. Most of all, there was music playing as the people danced, not crazy and wild like night club, but decent sounding music one could enjoy and talk around.
He was in awe.
Then he saw him… 'Itachi?' he thought, unsure of where the thought had come from or the assumption of it, but something within him told him that was Itachi. That was his brother…Something told him, but at the same time he could not grasp the idea. Was it true, or was it what he had heard, what did he know? He had never met that person before.
Fear struck him though, as someone came from behind him and he turned to see an aged man that seemed to want to pat him on the shoulder. "Sir, can I announce your name so people know that you have joined the celebration?" Sasuke pulled himself away and tilted his head, feeling confused and at the same time threatened. An instinct that told him to not let anyone see him, or ever talk to anyone, but he was curious. What was the meaning of this?
"The celebration?" he asked in a low voice that the old man had a hard time hearing, especially in his old age status. But he heard it and nodded his head nonetheless.
"Yes, sir, the celebration" Not knowing what to say or do, Sasuke shook his head.
"No...No, thanks" He glanced back out at the celebration and then looked at the old man who was looking down as well. "May I ask what the celebration is about?"
"Oh!" the old man said, "It's for Fugaku-san's and Mikoto-san's anniversary. It's special and sacred as their wedding day" Sasuke had no idea what that meant, but he was glad that his mother and father were there and they were the ones holding this celebration. He was also glad that both his parents were together and looked like they were never going to part.
"That's nice"
"Who are you?"
"Huh" Sasuke said to the old man.
"Who are you?" The man persisted.
"I'm their son, Uchiha Sasuke" he spoke, his voice holding a little hostility now.
"Oh my! Please let me introduce you"
"Ah no, that is not necessary!" Sasuke shook his hands in front of him, trying to keep the old man from touching him. "Hey, let me go!" Sasuke nearly snapped. The man gave him a lecherous look.
"I don't think so, such a beauty you are, come let me take you to the celebration myself" The music, the sound, this man, everything was insane. The room was suddenly spinning before his own eyes and he wanted to leave.
"I said let me go!" he hissed in a low threatening voice as he narrowed his eyes in a dangerous way. The old man flinched and was about to do that, when someone came in screaming and made Sasuke flinch at the high pitch of the voice. Even if it was a deep baritone, it felt as if someone had just shouted in his head.
"OBITO!" to people the call was sudden, making many look up at the stairs. In those many, Itachi was included along with Obito who gasped when he saw Sasuke standing at the top of the stairs looking about ready to kill the old man that was trying to escort him inside. "I LOST OH FUCK NO!" Shisui stood there, and snatched Sasuke back.
Sasuke was startled and looked up at Shisui with a curious look on his face. "What's going on?" He asked in a small whisper that could have been lost in the slow melody of the music that played.
"Umm, come one little boy lets go" he said as he grabbed Sasuke's hoodie and draped it over his head. Sasuke gasped and then drove his elbow into Shisui's gut and kicked him away. It was just a reaction Sasuke always had with people that tried to control him. Since he lived in the night, he was precaution to learn self-defense at a high level. He was then pushed away from Shisui and ended up at the edge of the stairs one more step back and he would have fallen over the edge of it, even in his blind state, Sasuke kept his balance though.
People gasped.
Itachi was the first to sprint towards Sasuke, without thinking. Fugaku and Mikoto noticed this and immediately became alarmed. They could not let Itachi get to Sasuke, not before Sasuke's twentieth birthday. "Stop him Obito" Mikoto said, regarding that Obito stop Itachi from talking to Sasuke. He nodded and sprinted over, with Kakashi by his side.
Itachi reached Sasuke before anyone, and Shisui looked startled. "Get away from him Itachi!" he yelled. It was too late, Sasuke was within Itachi's reach and his hood was off his face now. Sasuke's gaze met Itachi's and it seemed as if time for them stopped. "Sasuke" Itachi said, in a low whisper that caused Sasuke tilt his head and his hand reached out, he wanted to touch Itachi's cheek.
"You" was all he was able to say before he was grabbed by Obito and pulled towards Shisui, both his cousins were pulling him away from that stunning male.
"Sorry" Obito whispered into Sasuke's ear. Sasuke felt as though he was being torn apart right now, he looked from Shisui to Obito, who would no longer let him see the other male as they turned him around and made him head back towards the rooms.
"Let me go!" He yelled, ready to attack them.
"Hey!" Itachi yelled, and chased after them. "What are you doing!" he snapped.
"Damn." Shisui gasped when Sasuke drove his elbow back into his stomach.
"No Sasuke, keep running, you can't see him" Sasuke pushed at Obito and tried to hold his ground.
"Why!" he sobbed. What he said next shocked Obito big time "I need him"
"You don't know him!" Obito ended up snapping back. Sasuke's eyes widen with a gasp. He really did not know that other person. But, he wanted to be with him.
"I don't care" he said "Let me go" tears ran down Sasuke's face. He shoved Sasuke into the room and locked it. Sasuke banged at the door; he could feel tears running down his cheeks now. "This isn't fair!" Sasuke yelled, "Let me go! I want to see him again, OPEN THIS DOOR OBITO!" On the other side, a breathless Shisui and Obito stood over the door, with a glare on their faces as Itachi stood in front of them with a glare on his face.
"What are you doing! Let me see Sasuke…why are you keeping my little brother away from me!" Itachi snapped. He could hear Sasuke's cries to let him out of the room and allow him to see him. But he noted that Sasuke had not called him brother, or anything else. It didn't matter, Sasuke is his. He was going to get him, he needed to see him and now.
He wanted to hold him.
I want to touch him
"That's enough" A firm voice that could only belong to his father and Itachi froze as his father's hand came over his shoulder. "You can't see your brother Itachi…not now" Was all the man said before he tightly wrapped his fingers around the pressure points of Itachi's neck and knocked him out. Fugaky held his son close to him.
"What do we do about Sasuke?" Shisui asked.
"Knock him out as well" Fugaku answered, "Itachi shall sleep in mine and Mikoto's room tonight," he said as he walked away with his first-born. Shisui looked back to Itachi and Obito put a hand to his shoulder.
"Itachi will be fine, I'll take care of him" with that he followed his uncle and cousin. Obito walked into his uncle's room and sighed when he watch him place Itachi down in the bed. Fugaku looked over his son and covered him. "Uncle, I'm sorry, I should have been the one to keep better track of Sasuke…now"
"It's alright," Fugaku said.
"But, Sasuke, he"
"Yes, I know. He might not know Itachi, but he somehow remembers him" Fugaku turned to face Obito "It's body memory"
Shisui wanted to be there for Itachi, but he knew right now, Sasuke needed him more.
"LET ME OUT!" Sasuke hissed as he kicked the door. Tears ran down his cheeks when he could no longer feel the strange male close, all he could feel was an even darker pull in his chest. He could not breathe properly anymore, and his head was pounding.
He fell to his knees.
I want to touch him I want to touch him !
Sasuke vaguely heard his cry of agony, he vaguely felt Shisui open the door and walk towards him. He could barely even hear Shisui whispered in his ear "Let's get some fresh air."
All he could recall now was that he was crying, he was in the park, and something was pulsing iin his ears so loud that it made his head hurt. It made his heart heavy. And it made him recent everyone around him. "I hate you"
"I know" Shisui whispered, "I hate me as well"
"No" Sasuke whispered back "You are not allowed to hate yourself, but you are allowed to feel all the guilt that you want" Sasuke shook his head and Shisui didn't know what else to say. "I want to see that guy again, even if I don't know him"
"You will" Shisui said "I promise."
Sasuke did not believe him. However, he was too tired of his life to contradict him.
Once again, I was trapped. I was running away from that that I feared. I was running away from you. I always do. There is nothing to stop me from just running, and I know, that maybe I am the only one that can. However, I will not. I cannot stop myself.
I don't know where life wants to lead me, I am to afraid to follow anymore. I've turned my back and I keep walking down the wrong path. But it's all for you…all for him..
Why am I so scared?
Obito was silently watching Itachi sleep the night away in the silence and comfort of his parents' room. Was it already time for Itachi to start feeling Sasuke? Moreover, what Sasuke had said. He could not believe his ears, Sasuke did not remember Itachi, but apparently, his body did. Body memory, Sasuke would never forget being in Itachi's arms. It was only natural for him to be curious about Itachi when his body felt so sure and the want to be near him was there. It was such a curious thing that he had not thought about it before. Glancing at Itachi one more time, seeing that he was in a deep sleep, he got up and silently left the room.
Once he was outside, he saw that Kakashi was standing there. Patiently waiting for him, and he smiled gratefully "You should have been keeping company to Umino-san" he said as he walked closer to him. He gasped when Kakashi's arm wrapped around his shoulders and pulled him close.
"You need me here more than Iruka will even need me" Kakashi responded, his hand gently stroking Obito's back. Obito slowly relaxed in the arms of his boyfriend and allowed his head to rest on Kakashi's shoulder as he closed his eyes.
He was tired and confused; all he could think of was being here now and forgetting all the pain from the past. "Thank you," He whispered. Unknown to them, Iruka had been searching for Kakashi all this time, and right now, he was hiding as he silently watched them. That look in Kakashi's eye, Iruka had not seen it before.
It was gentle. It was caring. It was loving. It was not lust. That look in itself was something more complicated and something more comforting.
He watched as Kakashi gently nuzzled Obito's forehead and breathed in the scent of his hair. The way Obito looked so peaceful and as if fear was banishing from his eyes as he trusted the man that was holding him, the man that was whispering comfort to his ears. He watched Kakashi lean down and gently kissed Obito on the lips.
The shocked look on Obito's eyes, and then how they slowly closed as Obito kissed back.
Tender, that was all he could think as he turned around and ran. Warm, was what came next as he ran out of the house.
Comforting.
He had yet to find his place in this world, and it hurt.
So, he just ran.
But as he ran, blindly leading himself out into the Uchiha gardens, a hand grabbed his and made him lurch forward. He sighed, and looked back, his eyes wide and wondering. "Why are you running?"
Ah and so they meet. Thank you for all that reviewed. I hope this chapter was to your liking.I still have to update Junai Bad Romance though lol. Ah. we'll see.
Please Review.