All the world's a fanfic, and all the humans and demons merely characters.
The Camping Trip
A/N: So this was supposed to be a nice-sized fic, maybe five chapters, with some nice fluff and hints of romance, but then I realized that I'm terrible at romance fics so it ended up being a short odd fic that's part funny, part fluff, and maybe part something else, I don't know. It does have its own charm though.
They were lost. There was no doubt about it. They had been walking for hours with not a single familiar landmark. No familiar rock formations, trees, or posts, least of all their campsite destination. Luckily, they still had all their supplies. They had thought it would be fun, a weekend in the woods in a designated campsite, but no one had counted on Himizu holding the map upside-down, Risu taking them northeast when they should have been heading southwest, or Ryouko accidentally setting the map on fire… somehow…
So anyways, Ryouko, Himizu, and Risu were lost in the woods with Kurama, Hiei, and Mitari. They were loaded down by two tents, clothes, sacks of food, matches, and other necessities. The sun was setting and Himizu had a feeling that they were nowhere near their destination. Probably the least directionally challenged of any of them, her opinions were taken into consideration. However, if Risu suggested going one way, they would invariably go the opposite direction, seeing as her internal compass seemed a bit screwed up.
"Well, we may as well make camp. There's not much daylight left and there is no way in the seven circles of hell that we are going to find our way out of here. We may as well set up a decent camp while there's still enough light to see what we're doing," said Himizu at last.
Immediately Kurama, Hiei, and Mitari collapsed on the ground, dropping their burdens. They had each carried a tent and a large bag, or two large bags in Mitari's case since there were only two tents, so they were exhausted. The girls sat down on large rocks and shared a package of cookies. After about five minutes of this, the package of cookies was empty and the boys were asleep. The girls looked at each other, got identical evil grins, and pulled out trumpets. These they promptly blew, jolting the boys back into wakefulness, thinking that they were under attack. The girls fell over laughing and were promptly beat up by Hiei. Kurama and Mitari were too polite to do something like that.
So once Hiei got tired of beating the crap out of them, the three girls began walking around the campsite, deciding where the tents would be set up, where the camp fire would be, where they would store the food, etc., etc., etc… Then they made whips out of springy willow branches and threatened to hit the boys if they didn't set up the tents that very second. The boys did so and the girls became bored, so they started hitting each other with the whips… o.O Yes, they do have issues.
"Bwa ha ha ha! The evil willowy whip of doom shall beat you into submission!" cackled Himizu.
"In your dreams! My whip will force you to bow to me!" yelled Ryouko.
"You're both wrong! After I'm done with you, you'll both be licking my shoes! Wait, that's sick… I'll think of something else," Risu exclaimed.
After about five hours, the sun was long gone, the boys had fallen asleep, and the girls were tired. So they walked back to the campsite and fell asleep in their tent. They were awakened late that night by a wolf howling. Ryouko tore out of the tent as though it were on fire.
"WOLFIE!" she screamed.
Hiei, who had been sleeping in a nearby tree, woke up with a start and nearly fell out of the tree. "What are you doing you baka girl?" he yelled. Ryouko turned to him.
"I'm sorry Hiei, did I wake you? I heard a wolf. I'll be right back!" Then she ran off in the direction she thought the howl had come from.
"You're going after a wolf? Are you nuts? It'll eat you alive!" Hiei yelled after the wolf-obsessed girl. He turned back to the tents. Risu was still sound asleep. Himizu was awake though and blinking like an owl. She looked odd without her glasses. Kurama and Mitari poked their tousled heads out.
Mitari's eyes widened when he saw Himizu. He had never seen her without her glasses before and was stunned by the change it made in her face. She actually looked… pretty. Of course, she wasn't hyper or trying to glomp the life out of him, that helped. Kurama didn't seem to notice anything, he just yawned.
"Somebody had better go and get Ryouko…" he muttered. Hiei frowned.
"By 'somebody', you mean me, don't you?" he demanded. Kurama nodded, then crawled back into the tent and fell asleep. Risu gave an extra loud snore as she rolled over, completely oblivious. Himizu was still blinking like an owl, with almost no idea what was going on around her. Hiei muttered something, then darted off among the trees in search of Ryouko. Himizu reached out and found her glasses, sliding them onto the bridge of her nose. The sun was beginning to rise, so with a reluctant sigh, she pushed herself up.
"Suppose I better start making breakfast. Hiei will be hungry after chasing Ryouko, Ryouko will be hungry after chasing a wolf, Risu is a pain in the ass until she gets food, and Kurama will probably go Youko on me unless he gets some coffee," she grumbled. Running her fingers through her flyaway hair in a pathetic attempt to comb it a little, she strolled over to their supply bags. Mitari watched her. He had never seen her in the early mornings, and he found that he rather liked this quiet new Himizu.
"Would you like some help?" he asked her. She flashed him a quick smile.
"Thanks Mitari. That'd be great." She caught his eye, saw the softness in it, blushed like crazy, and busied herself with the coffeepot. Behind them, Risu snored like a train and Kurama sounded just as bad. Himizu and Mitari burst out laughing.
Ryouko was completely lost. The wolf had gone quiet and she could no longer hear the voices of her friends. In her eagerness to find the wolf, she had forgotten to even notice which direction she'd run off in, and had no idea where the camp was. She looked around for a moment, hoping to spot a telltale wisp of smoke or hear the sound of Himizu hitting someone with a frying pan. Then she saw Hiei standing in a tree above her.
"Hiei! What are you doing?" Ryouko exclaimed in surprise.
"I followed you," Hiei replied.
"No shit Sherlock, I can see that. Why?" she asked.
"So you wouldn't get lost."
"Oh… that's nice…"
"What did you think I was going to say?"
"That Kurama told you to."
"He did… but I would have anyways."
Ryouko was surprised. She hadn't expected something like that from Hiei. He hopped down from the tree and landed next to her.
"Do you happen to know where the wolf is?" Ryouko finally asked. Hiei couldn't help but laugh. She was determined; he would say that for her.
"Yeah, it's not that far off. Do you want to go see?"
"Duh…"
"Okay, but don't run off this time, okay?"
"Sure."
The pair walked off through the trees in the direction of the wolf. Ryouko barely noticed Hiei's hand on her arm as he guided her swiftly through the woods.
As the sun rose, Himizu and Mitari finished their cooking. They set out the coffee pot and a pot of tea for those that didn't drink coffee. Between them, they had cooked bacon, eggs, and pancakes. The scent of freshly brewed coffee roused Kurama and he made his way out of the tent.
"Wow… this looks great. I didn't know you could cook, Himizu."
"Hm?" asked Himizu. She had shoveled peanut butter and syrup over her pancakes and was busy stuffing two into her mouth. A cup of mint tea sat next to her.
"I would have thought you'd be guzzling coffee, you caffeine addict," Kurama said as he observed the tea. Himizu choked on her pancakes.
"Hack, gag, choke! Excuse me? Kurama, how dare you suggest I would offend my taste buds with coffee? Mint tea has almost as much caffeine and tastes a lot better. But Mountain Dew is still the best drink… but it's not good to drink with breakfast…"
"At least you have a little common sense… Are Hiei and Ryouko back yet?"
"No… I thought they would show up while Mitari and I made food, but they didn't… speaking of food, why isn't Risu awake yet?" Himizu mused, gazing at the tent where Risu continued to snore.
"How would I know?" Kurama asked, guzzling his coffee and refilling the cup with one hand and piling bacon, eggs, and pancakes onto his plate with the other.
"It was rhetorical, baka kitsune," Himizu said, picking up a pancake and walking in the direction of the tent.
"What are you doing?" Mitari asked her.
"You'll see," she said with a grin. Her eyes were glittering with mischief… which Mitari found appealing. But the slight grin that had appeared on his face vanished when he realized what she was about to do.
"Oh crap… Himizu, don't!" he yelped, jumping up. Himizu was wiggling the pancake directly above Risu's nose.
"Risu… the pancakes are done…"
"Not yet… must reach level 500…"
"Risu… the pancakes are getting cold…"
"No… I hate spelling…"
"Risu… the pancakes grew legs and ran away wearing your clothes…"
"But I'm busy feeding Kuwabara… to my pet llama…"
"RISU NO BAKA, EAT THE PANCAKES I MADE FOR YOU, YOU USELESS LAZY BUM!" Himizu screamed, whacking Risu over the head with a frying pan.
"HOW DARE YOU WAKE ME UP WITHOUT BEARING FOOD!" Risu screamed. Himizu looked puzzled.
"I do have food… it's in your hair though… I dropped it when I hit you on the head with my frying pan."
"Yay! Pancake!" squealed Risu, happily eating it. "More please."
Himizu looked puzzled for a moment, then shook her head, laughing. "You're so weird… There's more food outside." Then she walked out while Risu tried to untangle herself from her sleeping bag. Himizu looked at Kurama and Mitari's stunned faces. "What?" she asked.
"Wow…" Ryouko gasped. The wolf stood on a small hill nearby. As she watched, it lifted its head and howled as the moon sank below the trees. Then it turned and walked towards the trees on the opposite side of the clearing. It wouldn't have mattered if it had come their way though because Hiei and Ryouko were sitting side by side in a tree. "That was amazing. Thanks for bringing me here."
"You're welcome…" Hiei said awkwardly. He wasn't sure how to respond to this. Ryouko looked around.
"I wonder if Himizu made breakfast yet…" she muttered.
"That baka girl can cook?" Hiei asked, surprised.
"Amazingly enough, yeah. She's actually a pretty good cook. You should taste her fine cuisine sometime."
"Her what?"
"It's our code for Macaroni & Cheese." (A/N: LOL, that's my specialty!)
"…"
In the distance, they heard a voice scream something, then the thud of a frying pan whacking a skull.
"Uh oh…" muttered Ryouko. "Sounds like trouble."
"So what?" Hiei said. "Maybe Himizu and Risu will kill each other."
"We can't have that!" Ryouko yelped. Hiei's eyebrows went up. Ryouko grinned. "We need Himizu to cook for us until we get back to civilization, so Risu can't kill her."
"Ah. Okay then, let's go." He scooped her up easily in his arms and sprang through the trees in the direction of their camp.
Himizu sat back down next to Mitari and continued to eat her pancakes. The whole thing amused her, you could tell.
"I wonder where Hiei and Ryouko are right now…" Kurama muttered.
"Probably making out in a tree somewhere…" Himizu muttered. Then she instinctively threw herself flat on the ground, just in time to avoid being hit by a large rock. Mitari and Kurama sweatdropped.
"HIMIZU NO BAKA!" Ryouko yelled, stalking into camp. Himizu grinned and sat back up.
"Pax, pax… You know I was kidding… want some pancakes?"
"DON'T EAT ALL THE PANCAKES!" screamed Risu. Everyone fell over laughing, even Hiei (who had walked in unnoticed behind Ryouko). Risu was still tangled in her sleeping bag, so she had simply wiggled out in the fashion of a caterpillar. She then somehow managed to pull herself into a sitting position and promptly fell face first onto the spot where the pancakes had been sitting before Himizu snatched them out of the way, knowing exactly what was going to happen. Helpfully she loaded up a plate of food for Risu and sat it down in front of her, so she could eat in the fashion of a dog.
"Some people have no table manners at all," she sniffed daintily, picking up her cup of tea, and sticking her little finger in the air in the fashion of British people.
"You could help her disentangle herself…" Kurama pointed out.
"Why on earth would I want to do that?" she asked, looking shocked. Ryouko laughed as she and Hiei started eating too.
"What shall we do today then?" asked Mitari.
"Find our way to the correct campsite," Ryouko said. "This was fun and all, but we need to find civilization sometime."
"Let's pack up and go then!" said Himizu happily, stuffing her last pancake into her mouth.
They all jumped up and started packing and in no time, they were ready to move on. Even though the map was practically useless by now, Himizu continued to consult it at intervals, hoping that a landmark would show up. Unfortunately, lunchtime came and they were still just as lost as they had been that morning. So they ate sandwiches and tried to figure out where to go next. Himizu finished first and she slid down to the edge of the creek nearby to look for salamanders or snakes. Mitari and Kurama started skipping stones on the surface of the creek. Hiei leaned back against a tree and Ryouko sat next to him. Risu kept eating.
"Himizu, put down the snake!" Kurama exclaimed when he saw that Himizu was holding a small black snake in her hands.
"Why? It's harmless. Ring-necked snakes can't hurt you. Its jaws are physically unable to bite people," she said, gently cradling the tiny black snake in her hand. Mitari walked over to look and was fascinated by the beauty of the tiny creature's movements. He noted the small golden ring around its neck, hence the name. Ryouko grinned as she watched them.
"Himizu, you're traumatizing it. Put it back," she said. Himizu stuck out her tongue, but after petting the snake one last time, she placed it back on the forest floor where it slid away under the leaves. Then the girl pulled off her shoes and socks and scampered out onto a rock in the middle of the creek. Kurama groaned at the adventurous girl, but Mitari was rather amused at her eager and excited nature. Ryouko also jumped off and pulled off her shoes and socks to follow her friend, and Risu was right on their heels. They spent quite some time wading around, jumping from rock to rock, and searching the creek for small animals like crayfish and frogs. Eventually Mitari joined them, and so did Kurama though he was way more interested in studying plant life than being adventurous. Hiei refused to do anything as silly as wading and he stretched out under a tree with one eye open to keep an eye on the group.
Finally it was very late in the afternoon. The sun wasn't setting yet but it would be before too long. So they all got out of the creek and started hiking again, hoping against hope that they would find some sign that other human beings had been there recently. Unfortunately there were still no signs of life that weren't small forest animals. The novelty of being lost in the woods was clearly wearing thin on the three girls and they were starting to get snippy… mostly with each other. But in the middle of them snarling at each other about where they should make camp, Himizu ended up saying something about Ryouko's mother, Ryouko tackled her, and next thing anyone knew, they were battling in the middle of the woods using their random fire and ice powers that seemed to only show up just when the girls wanted to have a violent and pointless battle in the most inconvenient place possible. And it was this battle that Hiei stepped into, much to Kurama and Mitari's surprise.
"Alright, you know what, I've had it with this. You three are supposed to be best friends, so why are you acting like psycho bitches? Chill out already!" he snapped.
"Oh shut up, you annoying baka freak. And tell your girlfriend to stop shooting fireballs at me."
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, WOMAN?" bellowed Hiei. Ryouko screamed furiously, calling Himizu every name she could think of. Kurama, Mitari, Himizu, and Risu covered their ears, Kurama to save Shuuichi's virgin ears, Mitari to save his virgin ears, and Himizu and Risu to just plain save their eardrums.
When they were done, Himizu lifted her hands and said, "Man, you guys are perfect for each other. But your kid is going to be one hell of a loud-mouth." The hands were pressed against the ears again as Hiei and Ryouko continued their deadly and explosive tirade.
As the group stood still and stared at each other while their eardrums stopped ringing, they heard the sound of bushes rustling. They turned and saw two rangers stepping into the clearing.
"Who are you?" the first ranger asked. "The campground is quite a ways away."
"We're campers… supposedly. But we got lost," Kurama said.
"No kidding… Lucky we found you or you could have been out here for months," the second ranger said.
"Months? I'm sure you're exaggerating," Mitari said.
"No, we're not. But luckily you were arguing so loudly that we could hear you from miles away."
"HA! It's useful! You lied to me Kurama!" Himizu screamed. He stared blankly at her, then decided he didn't want to continue this conversation. The rangers started leading the way to the campsite. Risu and Himizu skipped along close behind them and occasionally running off into the woods to have mini-adventures. Kurama, Hiei, and Mitari struggled to follow under the weight of their supplies. Ryouko started to skip ahead, then turned around and ran back to Hiei, walking next to him for a few minutes and even snatching his hand for a few seconds, then skipping after her friends. Kurama cast a sidelong glance at Hiei.
"Anything you want to tell us about her?"
"Nope," Hiei said, quickening his pace to get away from the inquisitive fox. Kurama stared after him for a moment then shook his head. On one hand it amazed him that their casually flirtatious friendship hadn't progressed to another level, on the other hand the very idea terrified him. So perhaps it was better to stay quiet and observe.
"Ryouko, did you weld your hand to Hiei's so you wouldn't have to be apart? That's so cute!" Himizu yelled teasingly. Ryouko let out a feral growl and flew after her friend to strangle her. Hiei rolled his eyes and sighed. Risu laughed her ass off and ran after the other girls. Mitari just stared in confusion. The rangers completely ignored the campers following them. And Kurama stared after the girls, debating whether to play referee or just let them duke it out. He decided on the latter course. There was much less pain that way.
A/N: So yeah, hope you liked it. I actually am still not sure whether I really like the ending. I can never resist doing Ryouko and Hiei fluff but sometimes I worry that I'll cross the line and end up with a romance that's too much for me and my readers to handle… not to mention the fear that Ryouko will see them and physically harm me since she hates the idea of an outright romance with Hiei for reasons that I cannot fathom. But that's a topic for another time…