chapter nine

the next morning i woke up from liam crying and i get out of bed and walk over and pick him up and rub his back. i did not get much sleep the night before and what i did get should not be consider sleep by any standards. ted had stayed the night over and i could hear him and alanna watching tv in the other room. i sat down on the bed with liam and said" i do not know who your daddy is but i am hopping your mommy is ok" my phone rings and i lean back a little and grab it and said "hello" john replied " we can see them now" i said"are they ok" john replied" i am not sure honey they are comas at the moment" i felt hot burning tears roll down my face and said" ok i, we will be there soon". i hang up and put liam back in his car seat and went to change and told ted. we head back to the i get there john was walking out of randy room and said" you go first i will watch the kids" i nod my head and walks in and walk over toward his bed and said" hey, wake up not for me but for the kids they love you, they need their dad" i felt tears in my eyes and said" i need their dad, for the past nine months or so i have been acting like i did not need you, i am strong enough without you, the truth is i am dying inside not being near you so open your eyes" i look up and saw nothing and i lean over and kiss his cheek and get up and then kiss his hand and walk out of the room and slide my back against the wall and sat there and bang my head against the back of the wall over and over until i felt something sit beside me and pull me into their arms and i look up and notice it was evan. evan said" you are going to give you self a head injury and be in the hospital as well" i replied" it is my fault, he is laying in the hospital bed, my fault if he did not know liam wasn't his he would not have get drunk he would not get into the fight with sam and we would not be in this hospital at this moment." evan said" ok but you know hurting yourself is not going to help liam, alanna, kendall, miracle or randy or yourself you have to be strong for those people and yourself" i knew evan was right so i nod my head and did not say a word as he helps me up and we walk toward everyone else. i see randy dad and mom and i froze and they see me and walk over and hug me.

two hours later

we had all either been in randy room or sam room. i could not stomach my self to go into sam room even through alanna wanted me to go with her, i could not bring my self to go in there. randy mom sat down by me and said" can i meet my grandkids" i nod my head and we get up and walk to the nursery and we both walk in. i said" kendall ryan matthews orton and miracle hope orton." she smiles and look at me and said" you still love my son, dont you?" i nod my head and said" i can tell my self a million trillion times i hate him i do not need him but at the end of the day i need him, i want him, i think i am not being strong for me i am being strong for them" she nod her head and replied" i remember the day he start talking about you, oh my god you could not get the boy to shut up" i giggle softly because i have heard this from nathan, becky and everyone in the locker room. his mom smile softly and said" i remember the accident i remember it took me, nathan, john, evan and ted to get him to go get something to eat or shower or do anything when you were in the hospital. i nod my head since i did not know that john just told me that they took shift when i was in the hospital when they had to work and stuff. then she look at me and said" i know liam is not randy's called it a mother feeling or whatever you want but i know sam lied to randy, john had just told us about u being pregnant and i think sam over heard and decide if she get pregnant that she would just say it was randys" i nod my head not having the heart to tell her that her mother feeling was right that her baby boy was in the hospital because of me. we decide to head back toward everyone else. nathan and becky ask if they could see their nirece and nephew. i just nod my head i think it was just any where for me to do something beside sitting around blaming my self i was going to do it. we walk back to the nursery and nathan smile and said" so who is bigger" i giggle softly and said" surprisely the girl" becky and nathan laugh and said" really" i nod my head and replied " miracle six pound five once and kendall five pounds six ounce" becky said" so please tell me randy has been here this whole time that you get him away from that cow" i giggle softly since me and becky did not like sam at all and we each had our own reasons. i replied" i am talking to him, we found out that liam is not his and then for some reason it just like glue he is just stuck on her. nathan look at me and replied " not true" i said " what are you talking about?" nathan said" he told everyone that he was planning on leaving her but when she said she was pregnant he did not want to abandoned the baby or alanna" i did not know what to say i guess i really had been to hard on randy. he was a jerk sometimes but he did not send the text that hurt my feelings and i blame him for so long. i get a text saying" come now" i sigh and we walk back and john said" go to randy room there was some movement." i smile and me and his siblings walk in there and i walk over and said" hey randy come on open the eyes miracle is going to be going home soon come on i bet she would love to see her daddy because i am in love always have been and always will be in love with her father so squeeze my hand" i felt him squeeze my hand and nearly jump out of my skin but i was so happy. i just sat there and said" come on open the eyes randall" i figure if i pissed him off he would open his eyes give me the viperness look and tell me not to call him randall. i said" i love you please open your eyes" when he just squeeze my hand again and i smile and kiss his hand. the next few hours it was just hand squeezes and that was it. i come out of the room and john notice i look tired and hungry. john said" come on we are getting you food" i giggle softly and replied " ok"

the moment we get to the lunch room john hands me the necklace i had handed randy the other day and said" they found this in his pocket around this" it was a piece of paper and i fold it and it said

i know you said you give this back because i did not care about your heart, you were right i do not JUST care about your heart, i care about your body, your mind, your soul and our kids i know when i ask about the dna test i guess i do not know i had a feeling sam was cheating and i just i did not want to believe my wife was cheating on me me and sam just get into a huge fight, most times i would try to fix things but how do you fix something that is broken so bad that it does not seem to be able to be fix, i want you in my life, calling me out on my crap, telling me i am idiot or just telling me you are always here for me, i know you are with ted i hope he knows what a good thing he has and never lets it go like i did and i will have to live with that decision for the rest of my life

sign

rko

i sat there and did not know what to say. randy love me oh my god randy loves me. i smile softly and john leans over and read it and hugs me and said" i told you baby girl that boy is crazy about you" i nod my head and replied" yeah he has to woke up john he just has to i know i went out with ted but i did not feel it the spark the chemistry, i mean ted is wonderful any girl would be luck to have" then we heard code blue code blue room 352 code blue code blue. i froze and look at john and said" that randy room" john replied" no that is sam" i said" no it is not it is randy"

i did not care what john said and just get up and ran and find out it was randy. his mom said" he had a seizure but he is ok" i sigh softly and finally let the breathe i did not know i was holding out. the nurses and doctors get him stable and his mom look at me and said" honey i think it is your turn to stay with him like he did with you" i nod my head and john stop me and replied" can i" i giggle and hands him my apartment key and said" sure" john and everyone leaves and i walk over and sit down beside him. i put my hand on top of his and said" john told me that him and everyone did this when i was in the hospital and i thought it was a good idea considering you are in a coma and you really have no say so in the matter" i giggle softly at my self and me giggle made the chillness feeling run all over my body. i said" the night evolution ended when i was doing a house show the next night and we tagteam together do you remember that?" i stop and look at him and no movement at all from him. i said" i remember i had sore muscles because i fall during the top rope move not meaning to but i landed wrong and you were there to get me check out by a trainer and you stayed with me and we just talk the whole time and we just found out i was going to be bruised for a while and you waited on me hand and feet for the next two days and we talk more and more" i sigh softly and get up slowly and look out the window as it starts to rain a little bit and look back at randy. the heart monitor and everything was going smooth but little beeps were driving me nuts. i wanted to hear his voice and i want to see the blue eyes i had grow to love and that smirk that i just wanted to smack off his face, i wanted him and me to be at mcdonald or in his hummer and he try to steal a french fry out of my paper and i just roll my eyes at him or hear him sing off key to katy perry. i felt tears roll down my cheek and walk over and sat down back in the chair and said" do you remember the night walker and i broke up, how i knock on your door at one in the morning crying and you look at me and said" who do i have to rko and i told you who i saw him in bed with and you told me it did not surprise you but that i desreve someone better, randy i think that was the night i fall in love with you, i am not sure about you but i felt something when you and i laid in the bed and you told me everything was going to be ok" i sigh softly as it start to lightning out side and i look at randy and said" or how about my birthday it was storming and i was scared because i hate storms and everyone was picking on me but you and the guys that are my friends and you and the guys had a surprise for me and no one could find me and then you did in mickie james locker room in the shower in a corner with my arms around my knees and you came to me and tuck my hair behind my ears and said that you were not going to let no one or nothing hurt me and that as long as i wore the necklace" i froze when i said "necklace"i pull it out of my pocket and it said" 16=12=07" i look at him and said" as long as i wore the necklace your heart was with me and my heart was with you and as long as we had that no one or nothing could hurt us" i put the necklace in his hand and close his hand and said" now the necklace is to help you open your eyes" i climb in the bed and laid beside him and closed my eyes as tears roll down it.

the next morning i heard a voice softly whisper" please do not let me be dream the first time waking up to her was amazing please i will do anything to make this not a dream" i nearly jump out of my skin it was randy. i look up and see his eyes open and replied" randy?" randy smile and said" hey there, good morning beautiful" i smile and frown and pop him in the shoulder and he look at me and said" what was that for?" i replied" you scary me to death for one, and for two you driving drunk are you idiot" randy smirk and said" for nine months i have been a idiot but no more" i was confused until he lean over and kiss me softly like he did that night we made love and i was thankful i was laying down because i knew if i stood up that i would have lost all balance in my legs. randy said" i am seperated from her, i am getting custody of the kids i do not care that liam is not mine i am taking care of them and i want us to be a family" i replied" we have to date to get to know each other again"

i get out of bed and grab my phone and text john and everyone telling them that randy was up. a few moments later i hear little alanna voice and i bring her into the room and she see her daddy and hugs him and said" daddy" randy smile and hugs her and replied" hey my princess" john puts liam down in the car seat on the chair and walks over toward me and said" are you ok?" i replied" yes i am fine"

a week later

randy was still in the hospital and his mom and dad were here and his siblings. i felt bad alanna was worried about her mom and randy could not really leave the bed since his leg was broken and his other leg had a bunch of cuts and stuff. his parents did not really want to go into sam room and her parents were travel somewhere and apparently could not get the message and randy siblings were at school so that left me to do this. alanna said" please can you take me to see my mommy please" she does the puppy face which i could not say no to. i pick her up and we go to her mommy room and i didnt want to go in there but i did not want alanna in there alone. the moment i walk in i froze and said "brett" it was ted brother and to say i was confused would be the understatement of the year. brett said" look angelica, no one knows ok i meet sam through ted at a party things just happened but i love her. i froze and thought sam ex husband randy, my kids father and me date ted once who is randy friend and brett is his brother can anyone say spider web. i said" well alanna wanted to see her mom so if you are here can you watch her for a while um just text me when she is ready to come back to her dad. brett nod his head and alanna walk over and said" hey mommy sorry i have not been here in awhile it just i was with daddy and liam and grandma and grandpa and angelica, i know you do not like her mommy but she is cool and she is a great story teller, anyways daddy is going to be out soon but he has to stay with angelica for a while until he is better" i smile and walk out of the room and thought he is staying with me even long after the leg heals. i walk to the nursery really quick and see kendall was six pounds five ounces and miracle was six pounds and eight ounces, which means both of them would be home soon as well.

i walk back to randy room and see him holding liam and said" buddy i know you are not my little boy but i fall in love with you when i first held you and i can't let you go, i am not sure i can keep you after sam wakes up but i am going to try" i replied" randy, brett is with sam for some reason i am not really sure anyways alanna is with them, she is still not a wake yet" randy said" oh well brett is a dibiase his family is always nice so it is ok" i did not say anything else and walk over and said" the twins will be out soon they are almost seven months and drinks three ounce or more" randy said" that is great" he looks at liam and i get behind liam and do a baby voice and said" what are you staring at" randy laughs and said" thanks angel i need that" the door opens and alanna runs in crying. i sigh softly and thought brett is a deadman. alanna runs to the bathroom and randy looks at me. i said" don't worry i get it" i knew alanna was upset so i decide to find out why and i walk out and see brett and walk over toward him and said" what the f happen" brett replied" her brain bleed she is dead" i froze not knowing what to say or do.