Welcome To My Messed Up Life

Chapter 4

Eli and Clare Talk

It was the end of the day. Adam had gone home with Fiona and Drew while Darcy went and got Brianna and Madison and took them home. She did this to give me and Eli, as she called it, alone time for fun. I had to laugh at that. There wasn't much we were gonna do considering we didn't like each other that way. Well, I kinda liked him but didn't know if he liked me. There was just something about him that made me wonder.

"Why are you so quiet today Blue Eyes?" He ask me as I looked out the window. I wasn't thinking when I said it. And I know regreated it.

"Today would have been her birthday. She would've been sixtythree yet she's not here to celebrate it." I mumbled and he stopped the car in front of my house.

"What are you talking about?" He ask me and I realized what I said and stopped. He didn't need to know of my past. Nobody did. It was one of the reasons we moved.

"Nothing just don't worry about it. Its in the past now. My past doesn't matter anymore." I told him and smiled. I didn't ever cry anymore. Not after everything I had been through. He didn't smile though knowing something was wrong.

"There is something wrong, but I won't pressure you about it." He said and smirked at me. I smiled being so greatful that he understood where I was coming from.

"Thank you, now do you want to come inside before Fiona gets here? We have about a hour or two." I told him looking at the clock in his car. I freaking loved this car. It was so awesome.

"Nah, I really don't want to deal with your sister. Brianna is cool, a little annoying, but cool. Madison on the other hand, is um, don't know how to put it nicely." He said and I laughed at him. I new where he was coming from.

"I know, don't worry about it. How about we just go hang out at the dot?" I ask him and he nodded his head saying that it was okay. "Great let me go put my stuff up and I'll be right back." I told him getting out of the car he stopped me and looked me in the eyes. "What?"

"Nothing. Nevermind just forget it." He told me with a smirk. I just rolled my eyes and smiled while going to put my stuff up. He had something planed in his mind.

"Mom I'm home. I'm fixing to go to the dot with a friend of mine. I've also got Fiona coming over at five for a sleepover." I told her coming in and putting my backpack on a hook. I went upstairs and got what I needed then came back down.

"Okay dear. You and Darcy have helped me out so much this week that you can go out with a friend for a little while. It doesn't bother me none. Just go and have fun." She told me with a big huge smile on her face. Darcy had gone out and done droped the younger two off.

"Are you going with Eli and Adam?" Brianna ask coming down the stairs. "I wanna go too if you are." She said to me making me laugh at this. "Please Clare. Oh please, please."

"No Bria, Eli has done made it clear that h- they just want one on one time with me right now." I said to her stoping myself from calling him a he. Mom would have a cow and start asking questions that I didn't want to answer.

"Fine, but can you bring me back some sprit from there? Mom forgot to buy some again." She told me and I smiled telling her I would. She smiled and huged me. "Thank you Clare. Your the best big sister ever."

"Your welcome." I told her going to the car where Eli was waiting for me. He smiled at me when I got in. He had his radio on and I got excited at the song I heard come on. "Oh my gosh! They have a station that plays this kinda music?"

"Yea why wouldn't they?" Eli ask me with a weird look. The song playing was 'Thunder'. My favorite song in the entire world. "What kinda music do you listen to?"

"I really in truely like this kinda of music, but my family makes me listen to country a lot. I finally got tired of it after a while and started taking my music player with me everywhere." I told him with a laugh. I smiled at him and he started singing along with the song.

And now I'm itching for the tall grass

And longing for the breeze

I need to step outside

Just to see if I can breathe

I gotta find a way out

Maybe theres a way out

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer

Do you know you're unlike any other?

You'll always be my thunder, and I said

Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors

I don't wanna ever love another

You'll always be my thunder

So bring on the rain

"They play this song to much on the radio, but I gotta say that's its a good song. About the only song of there's that I like." He told me and I smiled. It was my all time favorite song.

"Funny cause that's like my most favorite song ever. I'm not even joking." I told him with a smile and just as it ended we were at the dot. The best place in the world. They had some good burgurs.

"Hey guys what can I get ya?" Peter ask us as we sat down in a booth. I looked over and seen Darcy sitting on a stool in front of the counter. So this is where she had been going.

"I just want a sprit and a lage french fries." I told him with a smile then looked over at Eli. It was now his turn to order. He finally noticed us looking at him and smiled.

"I'll have a sprit too. Me and her will share the french fires." I was about to protest when he beat me to it. "I share my food with you at school so you can let me have some of yours." He smirked knowing he was right.

"Fine be like that then." I told him and he just shook his head at me. Hey, no one said I was nice. It was know my turn to smirk at him. "So, what's your little sister like?" I ask him. We didn't talk about family that much. My choice not his.

"Like any other annoying little eight year old." He said muttering it making me laugh. "Her name is Sandra, Sandy as she perfers, Goldsworthy. She is something else I'll tell you now." He told me making me laugh. He did that a lot. Make me laugh. "Why don't you like talking about your family?"

"Its complicated. If I start talking about them then I have to go back to bad memories. I can't handle that right now. When the time comes I may tell you, but til then just let it slide." I told him and he backed down from it. I know he wasn't gonna give up on it, but he was done for now.

"So why did you exactly move down here?" He ask me testing me to see if I would budge. There wasn't nothing I hadn't done tried on my dad. Sigh, my dad.

"I done told you. My mom wanted a fresh start." I said and he gave me a look of not believing me. He let it go again though. He new I wasn't going to budge.

"I know there's more to it then all this. You won't tell me. Do you not trust me or something?" He ask me with what looked to be a sad face. Eli was sad? Wow strange day.

"I have a hard time trusting people. You have to be lucky that you got to come to my house. That's a sign that I trust you a little bit. Most guys don't get that far." I told him and that's when he realized it.

"Your afraid of commitment. I got ya now." He said and I just sat there shocked at how he guessed it so feaking fast. That was unusal. "And afraid of love and guys all together. Now I see where your coming from."

"How did you guess it so fast?" I ask him and he frowned a little before answering. We had done been eating and talking about other stuff when we got on this subject.

"Because I have the same problem. With you though, I feel like I can be myself. I'm gonna be honest. I think I'm falling for you and its scaring the crap outta me." He said and I sighed knowing that I felt the same way. I just didn't want to admit it. If he could, then I could too.

"I think I'm falling for you too Eli. Its scaring me too, cause I haven't felt this way in a very long time. I just don't know what to do anymore." I said and he came over and sat right beside me holding me and letting me lay in to him. I wasn't crying just depressed. I didn't know what to do.

"Well, we could fight this together. Its not that hard. We can do anything as long as we have each other." He told me with a smile. I smiled back at him. It was nice. He was a good all around guy.

"Yea, I know we could fight it, but the last time I tried this, like really really tired this, he left me in my time of need. I don't want that happening again." I told him and that's when it rang in his head.

"You were in love with K.C weren't you?" He ask me and I nodded my head. "You didn't have any boyfriends after that?" He ask me and I laughed. I did have other boyfriends just none of them worked out.

"That's also in my past, but yes I did have other boyfriends. No one I really liked though. Your different though. I'm just scared to give it another try." I said and he just smiled a little.

"I'm scared too but your the first girl I've really liked since um, my last girlfriend." He said stuttering like he was hiding a secret. I new he was but, since I was keeping stuff from him then he could from me too. "I'd really like to give this a try though."

"I tell you what, we can give it a try, but you just gotta promise me that you won't leave me for another girl." I told him and he just smiled at me.

"You won't have to worry about that happening. Trust me on this one." He said and I smiled at that answer. The scary thing is I did trust him. "Will you be my girlfriend?" He ask me like a normal guy would and I smiled.

"Of course I will." I said and gave him a hug wishing this moment would never go away. It was nice to feel loved like this. To have someone there for me at all times. "Come on I promised Bria some sprit since mom forgot it again."

"You two are to much a like for your own good." He said as we walked up to the counter. I laughed and smiled. We made it up there and I was about to pay for everything I had and he stopped me. "Don't worry about it. I got it." He told me and I sighed not really wanting to argue right now.

"So you guys have a good day at school?" Darcy ask me as I sat down with her for a minute. Peter and Eli were talking about something so it be a little bit. It was just me, Darcy, and Holly J talking. Come to find out she works here.

"Yea I did. Eli got worried cause I wouldn't eat lunch. Since when have I ate a lot anyway?" I said with a laugh while Darcy was laughing too.

"You better be lucky." Holly J said to me making me look up. "He doesn't talk to anybody much. The only ones he talks to are Adam and Fiona. He only talks to Fiona cause she's Adam's girlfriend. You got you a weird guy on your hands." She told me and I smiled a little. I really did.

"Enh, everyone has a little bit of weird in them anyway. Oh and Darcy I have a friend spending the night tonight." I told her and she gave me a questioning look. "I know, its hard to believe I'm finally inviting people over to the house."

"Its not Eli or Adam is it? Mom would have a cow if you had guys spend the night." She told me and I gave her a sheepish look. She sighed. "Mom doesn't know about either one of them, does she?"

"Well, if I told her about Eli, Adam, or any boy for that matter she would get mad at me cause its not the one she wants me hanging out with." I told her and she nodded her head.

"I know, but your gonna have to stand up to her sometime. That's what I did and now she's fine with guys coming over that's not him." Darcy said and did another sigh. "I know where your coming from though. Just give it time Clare Bear. It will get better."

"I hate it when you call me that." I told her and she laughed. "Besides unless cranky pants has done told her I'm in the good zone. I just gotta keep Madison quiet for a while." Just then Eli walked over and gave us all a smile.

"You ready to go Blue Eyes?" He ask me and I smiled. Holly J and Darcy just sat there awing. Just then Declan came over and Holly J gave him a mad look.

"Why don't you have a nickname for me like that? There not even going out and he has one for her." She told him with a mad look. Me and Eli only laughed. If only they new we were going out. They would be so different.

Welp, here's the next chapter! =) Anyway, has anybody noticed the couples I have in here? I like having Declan with Holly J instead of her with Sav. I think Sav should be with Anya! =)

Did anyone see the newest episode of Degrassi? Oh my gosh Wesley has a girlfriend now! =)) I'm so happy for him cause its about time he got over Anya and got some happiness of his own! =) I just smiled all the way through that episode!

Poor Holly J may be really bad sick! I hope she get's out of it okay though! None of my friends really like how mean she is but she's my favorite one on the show besides Eli and Clare. =) I can't believe they would make her sick of all people!

Fiona comes back next episode! =)) My daddy, yes I know its weird to have a dad watch that show, loves her and can't wait til next Friday! =) My parents are pretty cool. They can't stand Alli and she's another one of my favorites on there too! Lol!

Tell me this please if your still reading. Who's hotter? Declan Conye or Eli Goldsworthy? Me and my friend fight over that all the time and I just gotta know! =) What are you waiting for? Review it please! =) They make my day happier! =)

Bye for now! =))