Dinner was a disaster.

Okay, so maybe that's putting it mildly.

I'd stayed up all night with Edward, talking some more about our relationship, consequentially leaving me exhausted the next day. I'd idiotically prepared enough food for everyone, completely spacing on the fact that vampires don't eat regular food. This was made even worse when a few of them graciously attempted to dine human style. Esme mostly just stirred the homemade soup around in her bowl with a spoon, Carlisle sampling a bit with interest. I wasn't really sure why Rosalie was there. She looked far from happy. Surely no one was forcing her to stay? But who knew with her. Emmett and Alice kept things light, skillfully burying the awkwardness with jokes and interesting conversation. Edward didn't say a lot, mostly just looked patient. Was he enjoying himself? Just waiting for me to finish? I worried that it was the latter and tried to hurry up. This resulted in me choking on a chunk of potato, hot soup scolding my throat.

Rosalie rolled her eyes and Emmett flew over to give me the heimlich. I suppose we looked pretty comical but I was far from being able to laugh. He'd picked up the chair with me still in it, clasped hands pumping into my stomach, my hair and limbs flying wildly like a rag doll. The chair was toast, but luckily none of the shards of wood drew blood.

"Not so hard," Carlisle warned just as the chunk flew from my throat and I gasped for air. I was already in Edward's arms but immediately made him put him down, doubled over from Emmett's unintentional brute strength. I tried not to breath so deeply, knowing full well the effect it had on the family. But shallow breathing was not what I needed and ended up passing out for a few seconds.

And the number one klutz of the year award goes to...

Tada. Me again.

Everyone except Rosalie was trying to help. Alice got me a glass of water and Esme rested ice wrapped in a towel on my forehead. I wanted to laugh because it wasn't nearly as cold as her hands. Emmett kicked away what used to be my chair, collecting the pieces in a trash bag which ripped and caused an even bigger mess. When I was finally breathing normally and no serious injuries were found, Edward began to yell at everyone, blaming them for my marvelous mistake. When I wasn't dizzy and could stand, I rested a hand on his shoulder and tried to calm him down. He was still furious with Emmett, pointing at the sharp pieces of chair.

"Edward, he was helping me. He didn't mean t-"

"That's exactly the sort of thing that's going to get you killed, Bella!" he shouted right in my face. "One of us is going to make an irreversible mistake and no amount of apologies will ever bring you back!"

An acidic pause. Something was burning in the oven.

"Dramatic much?" commented Rosalie under her breath. Edward's eyes grew wide as he turned on her. My stomach turned and I bit my lip accidently as I saw his hand raise, certain that he was going to hit her. But he heard my gasp and turned back to me, black eyes growing softer, face ashamed. Rosalie hadn't even flinched.

They say you can tell a lot from a guy by the way he treats his sisters.

He began apologizing fiercely, though all I wanted was to tell everyone that it was okay and that I was so sorry for wrecking everything. He held me until I was shaking from the cold, the others clearing away the mess, giving us our space. But I didn't want space, I wanted a rewind button. An anti-clumsy ray gun with extra powerful moron destroyers.

Instead what I got was my dad. And the fire department.

We heard the blaring sirens a mile off. Esme ran to the stove, trying to beat at the flames with a towel or something. Alice got the fire extinguisher as Carlisle helped me from the smoke. My eyes watered and I felt sick after a only a minute. The grey smoke was like an ashen fog. Edward never left my side, bringing me to the garage where his Volvo sat. I'd spotted Charlie's cruiser along the way.

"I need to see Charlie," I coughed. "He needs to know I'm okay." I realized there was almost a question in my tone and instantly scolded myself. As if I was asking his permission to see my own father now. I was coughing badly but ran from the garage and towards the deafening sirens. Were those really necessary? They'd spotted the fire. Probably already had it out. I bet the noise was killing the Cullens' ears if it hurt mine. I somehow managed to find Charlie, the relief on his face making more tears burn my eyes. We hugged and I got in the squad car, just wanting the whole thing to be over. He still had to do some things before we could go home, but everyone was safe. Not that I was surprised. The fire had gotten a little out of hand but the firefighters had it out in about ten minutes. I saw Edward's Volvo racing away down a back road and wondered if I'd offended him by wanting to see my dad instead of him. If that were the case he could just deal with it. Let him mope, I really didn't care. And... that was a nice change. Yes, for once apathy felt good, felt right. I waited in the cop car staring out as the smoking mansion, the Cullens explaining what had happened. Carlisle and Charlie were laughing about something and shook hands. I guess everything was settling down. I hadn't really realized how tired I was. Bone aching tired, or was that just from Emmett's rescue?

The evening kept playing in my head, Edward's irate voice ringing in my memory.

That's exactly the sort of thing that's going to get you killed, Bella!

Was it? Was he right about that? I didn't know, and neither could he. The only person who might have a clue of what my fate would be was Alice. As if she'd heard my thoughts, Alice tapped lightly on the window, smiling softly. I rolled it down and tried not to appear so depressed.

"How are you feeling, hon?" she asked. Her voice had a soothing way about it. She rested her folded arms on the side of the car, leaning her chin on them. I shrugged and she reached a hand in.

"They recommend fresh air," she gestured over at the fire truck. They still hadn't killed the siren and I felt a headache coming on. "If you'd like to walk for a while."

That did make me feel better. I smiled and took her hand, getting out of the car. I waved at Charlie to let him know I was leaving and he nodded, turning back to a notebook where he was probably taking notes on the accident.

"All that over a silly cake," I said.

Alice took off her jacket and wrapped it around my shoulders, along with her arms. It was a pretty chilly night. I guess I should have noticed that she made it even colder, but with the jacket it didn't seem to hit me. We didn't talk for a while, just enjoyed each others company. We walked till we got to the stretch of beach closest to my house, which was still pretty far away. It was nice being away from all the clamor. I found myself leaning into Alice, tired but still awake. Her spiky locks tickled my face and I smiled at her familiar aroma. I had this ongoing debate with myself over wether it was peaches or some kind of flower. But it was also a spice... Rosemary peach lilac? I somehow doubted it was a perfume.

"Alice," I whispered. She was rocking from side to side gently. It was near impossible not to drift off. "I'm leaving Edward."

Suddenly the gentle rocking ebbed. She leaned away, looking at me confused.

"But I though you two were going..." she trailed off.

"I've been thinking a lot and I think it's time. It's just way too-wait, you though we were going where?"

Her eyebrows furrowed and she turned away from me, standing up and walking a couple paces away.

"But you've been doing better, haven't you?"

"I thought we might be until tonight." I didn't want to mention the part where he'd almost struck Rosalie. Even if we didn't get on too well, and he couldn't really have hurt her, it still got to me. I hadn't even imagined the thought would occur to him. "He just doesn't seem to get it. And I'm tired of trying. Maybe I'm giving up too easily, maybe these things are normal in a relationship-" an image of him screaming at his well meaning brother who'd just saved my life "-and I'm the one to blame..."

I stood up and picked up a rock nestled in the gritty sand. I threw it hard into the rolling water. It didn't make a sound as the waves accepted it.

"But I don't think so."

Her expression was hard to read. A silence I wished she'd been filling passed before we silently agreed to walk the rest of the way home. I got the feeling walking through the woods as I did when I'd first arrived in Forks. One big green alien world where I was used to desert. She didn't say a word and I had too much to think about to urge her. She gave me a hug goodnight but no smile.

"I'm going to stay away from the house tonight in case Edward comes back. I doubt he will, but I don't want him finding out the news through me," she tapped her head.

"You're welcome to stay here if you want," I offered.

"Thanks, but he might come here too."

"I hope not..." I mumbled, reminding myself to make sure the window was locked.

She nodded, frowning slightly. She was halfway down the drive when I couldn't stand it anymore.

"Alice?"

She looked back at me.

"You're... you're not mad at me are you?"

Finally she laughed a little. "Impossible." She began to walk backwards. "I'll see you at school, okay?"

"Okay." I felt like a small child, felt like I'd missed something completely. As the darkness enveloped her, I knew that tomorrow might be even worse than today. Or maybe it would finally be the answer I'd been looking for. Anyway, I was ready. It was time.

"Goodnight, Alice."

A/N: Sorry for the late update. I hope you all had a fantastic holiday. Leave a nice present for MIS by reviewing? ^^ Much love, hope you liked it.