A/N: Thank you all for the awesome reviews! Especially those I cannot reply to due to you not having an account or something. I dunno what it is exactly, but thank you all. The next chapter is all in the present tense-assuming I didn't miss parts while quickly skimming through it. I hope you like it or at least don't hate it... I made Bella strange. Anyway, it's supposed to be comical. Enjoy. ^^
Edward Cullen reveals himself to me. He is a vampire. He drinks human blood. He knows how to kill. A family of vampires are 'undead' a few miles away from where my father and I live. He watches me sleep. Why none of this creeps me out like it would a sane person? Simple.
Because I am Bella.
He stands before me like he can't see what's coming. He can read my mind right now. I know that my words are scribbled across my face before I narrate them, hurl them at him. Show him how deeply I've tried to fix the things he remains oblivious to. I tell him I do not like big, messy confrontations. He's nodding, agreeing sympathetically. Look up, I want to tell him. Read my lips. My eyes. If your ears can't comprehend. Maybe we can try sign language? Miming?
Music seems to be the only language he will listen to. It will keep giving forever without want for anything back. But I'm not like that. I need certain things. I don't consider myself a greedy or particularly selfish person. If anything most of the time I fail to see when I'm setting myself up for hurt in a situation. Case and point: my current boyfriend.
Hold up. Back up for a second.
So I'm at the Cullens.' Mostly everyone's gone and Edward and I have our privacy. It's been about a week since dinner here and I've decided that come saturday-tomorrow-I'll have told Edward that I'm terminating our relationship. So I'd been dragging my feet a little, but it's not always so simple; especially when you've been with someone for over a year. Or however long this thing has loitered on. I start off the way we usually do. I ask him how his day was.
"Nothing to report," he replies. His mouth is a hard line, his eyes don't meet mine.
"Learn anything interesting in school?" I know, it's a mom question, but I'm just trying to make small talk.
"I'm over a hundred years old, Bella. What could I possibly learn in a school that life hasn't already taught me? Let alone something interesting."
"Common courtesy?" No, I don't say it aloud. I attempt idle chatter for a few more minutes before I decide his jaw is probably permanently stuck the way it is. He reorganizes his CDs on the rows of shelves in his room while I sit on the couch that apparently is not big enough for two. Then I have an... odd moment, shall we say. One where suddenly things don't matter a whole lot and I have nothing to lose. This may seem a little crazy but bear with me. Still not paying attention, Edward is lost in his own world. I feel like I'm the only person there. Slowly, one article at a time, I begin to undress. Shoes, socks, pants, sweatshirt, t-shirt, bra, underwear. One after another, they fall noiselessly to the floor. I lace my fingers together and wait.
I count all the things in the room that are blue.
I notice that one of my nails is uneven and peck at it.
I glance at the clock. Ten minutes since my disrobing.
He speaks! Nope, just clearing his throat.
Twenty minutes. Thirty. We have a new record. Where has he gone? No, he doesn't have any headphones on. Perhaps he's forgotten I'm here? Better make myself comfortable I guess. I really want to start laughing but that would ruin the fun. That word-fun-doesn't quite fit, but it's the first that comes to mind. I think, really, I wanted to be seen in a different way. Not for attention, just a new kind. But he doesn't turn around. Same old oblivious Ed.
It isn't until Alice comes in that I snap out of it. Sharply.
"Hey, do you-Bella!" she exclaims. "Um...." I scramble for my clothes and she looks away, completely blushing. In expression if not from blood rushing to her cheeks as in my case. I try to tell myself that we're both girls, nothing new to see... but it still kills me. I grit my teeth in embarrassment, wondering just what the hell I was doing. As I sloppily cover my exposed skin, I hastily make hand motions to urge her to distract him, as if that's necessary. He's still just staring intensely at his damn CDs. Through my clumsy gestures and attempts to pull on my pants, she somehow gets the message. Just in time too. Edward turns around from his reorganizing, face just as vague and unseeing as ever. She pulls him into a hug, eyes wide.
"Oh, Edward! It's so good to have Bella here isn't it?" she chirps as I realize my shirt is inside out. I curse and tear it off again, hair a wreck. "She's always such a wonderful... surprise. And such bare honesty with her friends, don't you think? So open minded."
Don't help me, Al.
"Yes," he pats her on the back.
"What...uh...what have you two been up to?" she asks hesitantly, glancing at me with raised eyebrows as I ditch the sweatshirt and tug my socks on, struggling with the laces on my shoes. He must be reading her mind, about to spin around at any second.
"Reorganizing my collection," he mutters, dropping his arms as Alice hangs on him awkwardly. She motions for me to hurry up. "In fact, I left those discs downstairs.." He turns and crosses to the door, only to tell me on his way out that "oh, your shoe is untied, dear. No wonder you're always tripping." He laughs a little and I chuckle all too artificially. When he's a foot out the door I turn to the pillow next to me and pound the stuffing out of it.
"Shit! Shit, shit, shit!"
"What the hell was that?" she whispers in her sweet voice.
"I...um...yes, well... this was..." I stumble.
She shakes her head, bewildered. I try to explain as she bends down and ties my shoe lace in a perfect bow, resting her porcelain face on my knee and gazing up at me impishly.
"Is this usually how you break up with your boyfriends?" she teases.
"Quiet, he'll hear you," I scold.
"If he didn't hear you flailing like that a mere four feet away, then I think he's too distracted to listen through the floor." She giggles and gracefully flows down on to the couch beside me.
"Besides... It's difficult." I shrug. "I've never broken up with anyone before. That is, he's my first."
"Well that explains a lot," though I'm not sure how it explains anything. "You've had no experience." Her expression is full of understanding. She nods as if the puzzle of the universe has suddenly snapped together.
"I was afraid that he'd read my mind and learn of your intentions, but sure enough-"
"-He's been oblivious."
"Dumb as a rock."
"But he knew about all that stuff we talked about at the mall..."
"Perhaps he's slowly losing his power," she says almost hopefully. "But a more pressing matter: have you completely lost your grip on reality?"
I sigh and lean back into the couch, wadding my sweatshirt over my face in disgruntlement. Through the fabric I whine, "I just wanted him to see me. I know it doesn't make sense. I'm just so sick of the same old reclusive person I'm supposed to be in love with."
"So you stripped naked and.... what? What did you expect him to do?"
"Just... anything." I yank the sweatshirt away and say loudly. "Anything!"
Alice's hands are just itching to fix my hair, I can tell.
"He claims to love me, want to protect me. And that's all fine and good but now I just feel ignored! I don't get it. It's like-"
"Bella," Alice coos. "Relax. Now you didn't come here just for this. Unless of course you're lying about everything and were simply discarding your clothes so I could dress you in more suitable ones," she reaches up to finger comb my hair into place.
"Alice."
"Didn't think so. In any case, you're here to end these problems aren't you? Isn't that what you want?"
"...Yeah..."
"And-" But she's cut short by Edward's footsteps on the stairs. We both scramble for no good reason, searching for something out of place. I pray he doesn't hear my heavy heartbeat or Alice's thoughts.
"May I speak with Bella alone please, Alice?" he asks. He said he'd gone to get some CDs but I didn't see them.
Oh god. Oh no. He did hear. He knows!
Alice is gone all too quickly. I reach out to her as if to shield me, wanting to run, to just forget everything. Throw in the towel. I tried right?
"Bella, honey, there's some things we need to discuss." Now he looks at me.
"But... your CDs. Don't they need to be organized?" I leap over to the shelves, trying not to lose it completely.
"I don't care about that right now," he takes me in his arms.
"Edward... listen, I'm sorry... I didn't mean to-"
"Shh," he quiets me. "Let me speak, dear."
I whimper helplessly and wait for the deadly words.
"I'm sure you've noticed I've been a little distant lately... that's because I've had a lot on my mind. I know we've been having some minor issues but I think I have a solution."
I wait on baited breath. What can he mean? Surely he knows what I'm planning. He can read minds, can hear miles off. There's no way he could become that distracted... right?
He tucks my hair behind my ears and leans in for a kiss. Like an idiot I just stand there, unsure of what to do.
"Bella dear," he whispers. "You mean the world to me."
"Okay..." Is all I can manage. It's more of a breath than an actual word.
And before I know it he's kneeling.
Right there in the middle of his room, with my heart beating like a drum for the wrong reason, his hopeful face looking up at me behind a large diamond on a gold band.
"Be my wife."
Edward Cullen reveals himself to me. He is a vampire. He drinks human blood. He knows how to kill. A family of vampires are 'undead' a few miles away from where my father and I live. He watches me sleep. He has just proposed marriage.
He stands before me with all that hope in his eyes, he can't see what's coming. I wish he could read my mind, that my words were scribbled across my face before I have to narrate them, hurl them at him. Show him how deeply I do not love him, cannot be his. I tell him I do not like the idea of marriage, anything it stands for. He's nodding sympathetically. I have to tell him. I have to do this. So, a little shaky, I tell him.
"No."
And then I run.