Wow this is the shortest chapter i ever did.
I hope you like it, im trying to update every 2 weeks or atleast somewhere closer to that, hopefully you like it, so yea read and let me know
PS:
Thank you to everyone who is reading my story, i noticed not alot of you guys are review and thats okay but thank to the three who are. It means alot to every one who is reading regardless if you are reviewing or not, so i just wanted to thanks for the rates and everything.
From your over-emotional writing, Leia...:)
Bella POV:
Who would of thought it would come to this? Who would of thought I would be back? Back at the house I swore to myself to never return. Back to the place where I got hurt, where I was abandoned, where I lost myself. Standing outside the door made everything different. It made me seem like a whole different person. I wasn't that Bella anymore. I wasn't the one who would go off and smoke her problems away. I was a mature and better person now, I wouldn't let myself get back to that stage no matter what happens here. I would be strong for myself and not for my family. I couldn't let promises of a few pain free moment to rule my life anymore.
I couldn't be more greatly for Alice, doing what she did. Thats why Im standing here outside my home, about to lose everything I was fighting for. I still remember the pain it took to do all this, I remember everyone who helped me, refusing to let my quit.
Flashback:
"Give me my damn drugs", I yelled at the top of my lungs. The pain was to much to bear. How could I let a brother-stealing hoe convince me to come to a place like this. It wasn't worth it. Nobody was worth it. "Fight it, fight the impulse, remember what you are trying to achieve her. Remember you want to be better, you want the world to think of you better", my friend Jessica said. "I don't know what the fuck you are talking about, I don't give a fuck about what people think of me.", I said through my teeth. I didn't need people couching me to do better. I was fine on my own.
"You can't do this own your own Bella, and you know it", Jessica said studying me.
"What are you a dam mind-reader?"
"No, you are just an open book", she said laying back down on her bed. She stared at me for a few moment, just looking. It slowly started to irritate me. "What the hell are you looking at", I spat at her. She cocked her head to the side, looking at me from a different angle before flipping over upside down. "Why are you so angry at the world Bella".
"Im not". I said switching my glaze from her to the wall across from me. I stared at it until it started turning red. "No one owes you anything Bella." I flipped my head around to her fast, making my neck hurt. "Who said anyone did?"
"Just because you have been hurt doesn't mean you can hurt other people in return. Your not God, you have no right to judge people, because you are just like them. We are all imperfect."
"What is this church", I said trying to avoid the topic. She got off the bed and crawled to the floor in front on me. "No this is me, trying to get you to let go of the anger.".
"For the last fucking time I don't have any damn anger."
"See there it is"
I was tired and she could see it. I was sick of putting on a mask, I was so sick of holding everything in. I finally just wanted to let go of the baggage on my chest.
"It hurts", I said my voice cracking while tears fell down my face. "Its going to hurt, but to be able to move past it, you have to go through it, you cant keep dodging it, or else it going find a way to come back to you".
"What am I suppose to do"
"Talk about it", and that exactly what I did that night. I talked about how hurt I was when Rosa left me, how i felt when she tried to apologize. I talked about my brother, how i hated hurting him, but i felt like he needed to see what it felt like to be in my place.
"You cant do that", she said making sure i was looking at her
"Do what", I said looking away.
"You can't keep thinking revenge it the best answer, let me tell you something, revenge has a sister and her name is Karma and from what i heard karma is a bitch,"
I laughed because that was the first time i ever heard Jessica curse.
I talked about how the only real reason I hate Alice so much how i avoid looking in the mirrors, cause i was afraid of what i would see. That night was the night i finally decide to let the mask down, and become who i really was.
A scared girl looking for acceptance.
End of Flashback
I was ready for this. I could handle being able to talk to Jasper again. Alice was right, I did mess everything up but I was going to fix them. Starting with operation one, saying Goodbye.
Before I could knock something grabbed my hand and flipped me around.
"Bella", Edward gasped out. He looked like he seen the dead. Well truthfully speaking I was suppose to be dead.
"Hi", i replied timidly back
Hope you like it, thanks for reading and
sorry to those who lost there loved one to 9/11
I hope yu guys have a great rest of the week