Chapter Ten

The drama crew was in a frenzy adding the finishing touches to the upcoming production, and I admit I was beginning to feel very excited for it. The enchantment of Neverland was springing to life before my eyes; Indians, lost boys, a ticking crocodile, and of course pirates running around rehearsing and setting up. I had my hands full with studying for exams, trying to help with the crew, and memorizing the lines I'd never speak as an understudy. Alice grinned at me from where she was having her costumes fitted. I never saw her practice her lines once, but somehow I knew she'd already memorized them. Tiger Lilly asked if I could help Smee and Nibs with stage directions while she squabbled with John Darling about his small role. Tinker Bell was asleep backstage.

I stepped out to use the bathroom, really just needing a breather. It was a mad house in there, even if it was the fun sort. I splashed some water on my face to wake myself up, combed through my hair with my fingers in attempt to extract some fairy dust-sequins and gold glitter. I heard the door open, Cassidy's voice greeting me. She was a techie like me and an acquaintance. Short blond hair and grey eyes, a little taller than me.

"So how do you like it all?" she asked sweetly, setting down her purse on one of the sinks. "Drama class. I imagine it's pretty difficult to get into your senior year. Most of us have been in it since middle school."

I shrugged and smiled. "I actually really like it."

"You seem surprised." She took a thin tube from her purse and began applying mascara.

"Well, let's just say I've never really been the outgoing type. A friend talked me into it."

"Alice?"

"Yeah."

"How sweet of her. You two are pretty close?"

"Yeah, she's my best friend."

She paused for a moment, putting away the tube and applying a sparkly lip gloss. I leaned against one of the sinks.

"Is that all?"

"What do you mean?"

She raised an eyebrow at me. "You know what I mean."

I shrugged slowly. "No, not really." I laughed.

"You two aren't... together?"

It took me a second to understand her definition of 'together'.

"Oh! No way. No, we're friends. It's not like that." I could tell without looking in the mirror that I was blushing.

"Sorry to pry," Cassidy apologized.

"Don't be. It's fine."

"But you're not interested or anything?" She flipped back her fluffy hair.

I looked at her for a moment, trying to read her intent.

"No. I don't really... I mean, I like guys." I nodded as if it helped prove my point.

"I see. It's just you two are always so... never mind." she shook her head and laughed a little, closing her purse.

"What?"

"I'm sorry, Bella, you must think I'm-"

"No, seriously, I don't mind." I urged her to continue.

"Well, sometimes I see you-and I could be totally wrong-" she lifted her hands in a disclaimer "looking at other girls."

"...You do."

"But don't worry. No one else notices. I think it's just something another bisexual would pick up, you know?" There was a question in her storm grey eyes.

"I wouldn't know," I told her. I had no idea how to handle this kind of conversation. I knew she was just curious, she didn't mean any harm. "I just broke up with my boyfriend."

"Sorry to hear that." She was. I could tell. "So you're not then?"

"Bisexual?"

She nodded.

How to answer that? To be honest, I had no idea. I suppose yes, I had noticed a certain quality in women I liked, but wasn't that normal? Didn't everyone regard the female form to be the more attractive? I'd never had a girlfriend or really ever questioned my sexual orientation before. If I was bi or a lesbian, surely I'd know by now.

"No, I'm not." I decided.

She smiled again. "I hope I haven't offended you by being so forward. I just wondered."

"It's okay. But you are then? Bi?"

"Yes." she grinned. I hesitated for a moment.

"Is it.... I mean... Isn't being with another girl weird? If I can ask." She studied the two of us in the mirror for a moment, smiling slightly.

"I guess it depends. For me it never was. I've known since I was little. Girls are a little easier to get along with because I am one myself, but I do like guys too."

"But don't you have to choose one way or another? I mean," I shrugged lamely. I felt awkward asking her all of this. I could tell she was a pretty open person, but I hoped I wasn't getting too personal.

"Nope. I just love everyone. I like personalities, not a specific gender."

I nodded. "That's cool." Suddenly something I'd never thought of was starting to sound pretty interesting. Even if it didn't apply to me.

"How did you know? That you were... bi."

"On a field trip in elementary school a friend of mine and I kissed just to see what it was like. I think we'd snuck away from our class in a museum or something. She quickly forgot about it, but that's when I knew. Hey, I've gotta get back," she smiled, "but if you ever want to know more..."

"Thanks." I felt I should say something else but couldn't think of anything. The conversation had caught me off guard, but I wasn't entirely off balance from it. The lifestyle-is that what it was called?-did sound pretty interesting, even if it wasn't for me. I'd already proven I liked guys with Edward, even if it didn't exactly go well. But still, I definitely wasn't gay. I felt uncertain putting everything in such defining categories. How could I know? I never kissed a girl when I was little just to see. The thought had barely occurred to me before... Had I looked at girls like Cassidy said? Was that bad? Was it something all girls did, or did it mean I was bisexual? I wasn't prepared to sit down and work out all these questions, nor did I have the time. I was needed in class.

"Bella!" Alice chirped, floating over to me from her perch on the stage, silky fabric following her. She spun around me like a little sprite, showering me with fairy dust. I flicked some off of my shoulder but couldn't help smiling.

"Hey, Alice. The costumes are looking good. It doesn't exactly look like something Peter would wear but it looks great on you."

"No, it's one of the fairies' dresses. I'm the only one short enough to be a mannequin at the moment."

"Well, you wear it well, fairy or lost boy. Though personally you've always seemed more like a little pixie to me."

She rolled her eyes, but giggled. "So I've heard."

A few people were carrying in parts of the freshly painted pirate ship. Alice and I backed away to give them more room. The drama room wasn't exactly huge, but it could pass as a decent theater. And soon it would, with my best friend as the leading lady... boy... role. Even if it were just her up on that stage, no lights or set, she'd singlehandedly be able to wow the audience.

"This weekend there's that new movie coming out," she said.

"Oh yeah?" I had no idea which movie she was referring to, but I sensed an invitation.

"Cassidy's treat."

I unintentionally lost my smile. "Cassidy invited you? Just now?"

"Yeah, you want to come with? It's going to be a blast."

It was hard to decipher exactly what I was feeling at that moment. Another girl was interested... romantically in my best friend. How was I supposed to feel about that? How did I feel about it? Of course there was nothing to worry about because Alice wasn't like that. What did I mean by 'nothing to worry about?' What could I possibly be worried about? And why would I care if Alice was or wasn't that way?

Unfortunately, all of this thinking was crammed into about half a second and the words which I was going to reply with tripped over each other and came out as more of a pained utterance than actual words.

"Great!" We'll come get you." She was spinning about merrily again, making me dizzy.

"But, Alice, I-"

"Hey guys." Cassidy.

Alice smiled and gave her a brief hug. As they talked about something and I nodded vaguely when they looked at me, I began to wonder what my quickened breathing and sweaty palms meant. That suddenly I did not find Cassidy so welcome, though I had no reason for it. She'd asked me in the bathroom if I was interested in Alice and I had truthfully said no.

But I had the unpleasant feeling I had not uncovered the entire truth yet.

A/N: Been chipping away at this chapter for weeks, finally uploading it. Let me know what you think and if you have any suggestions. I love to hear your feedback :D