Author's Note:
Which arm hurts when you're having a heart attack? My left arm has been really sore all day and also my chest hurts…and my nose is stuffy and I think I'm developing arthritis in my right pinky toe. Huh, weird. Anyway I'm sorry, again, that I'm updating at such a slow rate and also if the story seems to be a bit slow right now. I had to submerge myself in all things Fullmetal for a few solid hours before I could get back into the flow of things…the story will definitely start picking up again soon.
Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy this chapter!
Hypochondriatically (-I don't think it's a real form of that word…) yours,
AL
I had never really give much thought to the order of wealth and social being of Amestris, but the difference between East City and Ishval was almost overwhelming. Somewhere during the route through the sea of sand the tracks degenerated, transitioning from sturdy steel rails into rickety slabs of wood half buried beneath tiny grains.
A blast of dry heat welcomed me as I stepped from the train with nothing but the money that I had received from Veronika Moon during my previous detour. The excitement brought on by the mere sight of the Ishvalan slums, however, kept my mind far from any thought of the alternative mission that I had been assigned in exchange for the funding. The train's whistle pierced the air, bringing me back to my senses. My train to Xing wouldn't arrive for another day and I would need to find a place to stay for the night.
"Can I help you miss?"
"Huh?" I tore my gaze away from the sand stone station that I had been standing in front of since I left the train.
How are you going to go all the way from Xing and find not just one, but two people if you can't even manage to get off of the train platform?
Although my face remained blank, I was frowning on the inside. Such a journey was beginning to feel uncertainly heavy. "You seem lost, is there something that you need?"
I turned my attention to the girl standing beside me. She was swathed in a pale blue robe, embroidered with an elaborate floral design, leaving her sandal-clad feet and sun-washed face as her only visible skin. A thin scarf with the same embroidery as the robe but a slightly darker color was wrapped around her head, covering the majority of her very short, dark brown hair.
Despite all of this, her eyes were what I found to be most alarming. They were a shade of green that I had never before seen-an extremely dark olive color rimmed by startling flecks of gold. After a moment of studying the young woman, I finally found my tongue, "Yes, umm…I was hoping to find a place to stay…is there somewhere that you would recommend?"
The woman nodded and revealed a slight gap between her front teeth as she smiled. She had that kind of smile that makes you want to smile in return. And so I did. "I know just the place-an Inn down the road from here."
"Really? Would you mind giving directions?" Maybe my luck was turning around after all.
"There's no need," she announced happily, "I'll show you the way."
My naiveté quickly turned to suspicion, "It's alright, really, I'm sure that I can find it on my own."
A soft chuckle escaped her lips, "I must be coming off as quite strange…I apologize. My name's Kanta, my mother runs the Inn and sends me down to the train station to offer our services to anyone in need. Not many people ever travel out this way so we have to scoop up business whenever we can."
I wasn't very happy about the prospect of just being a profit to them, but the sun was slowly drifting closer to the horizon and I was in desperate need of a place to stay. "I'm Skyla," I offer my hand and she shakes it. Her darkened skin is cool and smooth, like running water, but the contrast in color between my hand and hers is almost alarming.
"Now that we are no longer strangers…I guess you should lead the way."
"Wonderful!" Kanta's face lights up with exuberance and immediately, I relax. They really must not have too many visitors so far out in the desert. I followed the Kanta like a stray dog and marveled at the town that unfolded around me with every step. The Ishvalan community was small-from what I saw walking through the streets made up of flat, loosely-placed stones everyone was very close. People, all swathed in robes similar to the one that Kanta wore, waved and smiled and greeted one another as they went about their evening routines.
The buildings were fairly simple and everyone seemed to look alike. Sandstone structures with flat, brown-tiled roofs-a lot of tans and browns and grays-almost as if they were trying to blend into the surrounding sand. The sky was tainted with the colors of the night by the time that we reached the Inn. It resembled all of the other buildings that we had passed but seemed to be significantly larger than all of the rest. "Mami? We have a customer," Kanta called as we stepped through the door.
The Inn was a simple place-a wooden floor with dark, mahogany tables and matching chairs scattered about the room. The few stools that were gathered around the counter that served as a barrier between the main room and the kitchen were occupied. I stood inconspicuously by the door. It felt as if everything about me screamed that I was not one of them-short and blonde and ridiculously pale, dressed in a white button-up shirt and a pair of dark brown pants tucked into my black boots.
"A costumer? What a pleasure, how many nights will they be staying?" A woman appeared from behind the counter with a smile on her stunning face. Long, dark locks of hair pooled down around her shoulder and her eyes, the same shade as Kanta's, danced brightly in the dim lighting of the Inn. Kanta turned questioningly to me and the attention of the room had suddenly shifted my way.
"One," I replied meekly.
"Shall I take your things to your room then?" Kanta's polite voice broke the tension in the air and I shook my head, feeling my face flush red, "Oh, no thank you…I don't have anything with me."
A man perched upon one of the stools narrowed his soot-colored eyes, "you travel all the way out here without a single possession?"
I nodded, feeling more young and clueless than ever, "Only the clothes on my back."
"How unusual," he mutters in return and the two sitting beside him grumble in agreement. Kanata's mother flashed them a quick scowl before turning back to me with a gentle smile, "why don't you take a seat, dear? I'll be serving dinner soon."
"Oh, of course!" Kanta replied for me and quickly led me to a lone stool.
"Oh, um…thank you. I wasn't expecting a place to stay and a meal. It's very kind of you." I sat down and Kanta rushed behind the counter to help her mother. The only other people in the room were the three men seated at the stools. Two of them were young and fit-looking to be no older than thirty while the one on the far left seemed to be pushing eighty-nine. "Are…you all guests?"
The two younger men gazed at me with cold, observant eyes. "No," the one with the pale gray eyes answered. "We live here." I was surprised by the suddenly friendly tone that the other man took on. His black hair was short and stuck up in all different directions, his eyes a dark amber.
"Oh." I gave them a curt nod before resting my eyes upon the stained countertop. It wasn't the foolish feeling of embarrassment brought on from being an outcast that bothered me, it was the fact that I felt like an outcast even when I was in Central City or Resembool. No matter where I am placed in this world it is never somewhere that I can claim to belong to. It is not Germany or England or France…it is not me. But it is my father and for him, I had to manage.
A thickly sweet aroma wafted through the open door way of the kitchen, causing my mouth to water. My last proper meal was a couple of days ago and I was beyond famished. "You are an alchemist," the man with gray eyes stated firmly. This is not a question. His confidence pulls me out of my food-based fantasies and back into the shady room of the old Inn.
"Yes," I confirmed and met his steady gaze.
He let out a distasteful grunt, "you should not be here."
"Kane!" Kanta's mother scolded from the other room, "if you are going to be rude to our guests then I suggest that you take you find somewhere else to eat for the night."
The man let out a heavy, exasperated sigh and tightly clenched his jaw shut. "Aw, he's had a rough day, Ma, take it easy," the charcoal-haired boy frowned and his mother emerged from the kitchen with her hands on her hips and her eyebrows sternly furrowed, "Don't forget who you are speaking to young man. I don't care if he was struck down by lightning today, we are always polite to our guests. Am I clear, Xander?"
"Yes, Ma."
"Good." An angelic smile replaced her overbearing scowl and her slightly wrinkled face was once again restored to a state of peaceful being as she turned away from us once again. I raised my eyebrows in surprise and Xander's sun-ripened cheeks flushed a pale pink, "I apologize…it seems that we have been a bit rude…I'm Xander…and this is Kane."
"Skyla," I smiled sympathetically and Kane gave a grunt of acknowledgement. It was quite charming.
"What a name."
"Huh?"
The elderly man on the far side of the bar had spoken for the first time since I walked in. His dark eyes were hardly half way open and riddled with wrinkles-deep, winding wrinkles were etched everywhere on his earth-colored skin except for his glimmering scalp, which still harbored a few stray clumps of silver hair. "Skyla…it means fugitive," the old man let out a throaty chuckle. I gave an uneasy smile and shook my head, trying to pose some kind of good impression upon them, "Oh, I'm no criminal…"
Kane eyed me warily as if he had something to say that would contradict my statement but his lips remained sealed in a fine line. The man chuckled once more, causing the sagging skin of his neck to quiver, "It means you have no home."
My heart froze. "Gramps don't go scaring off our costumers again!" Kanta scolded as she exited the kitchen with a pitcher of water and a tray of empty glasses.
"He's right," I murmured softly and graciously accepted the water that Kanta pours for me. My father was once my home, but I hardly know who he is anymore. Her eyes glistened with a sort of gentle sorrow as her gaze rested upon me. "Don't say that." She frowned.
"A soul devoid of God will always be a wanderer. You will never have a home," Kane's voice if quiet, but steady.
I took a sip of my water, "I'm sorry, but I have to disagree with that."
Xander nodded a 'thanks' to his sister as she poured him a glass before curiously questioning me, "So you're an atheist?"
I shook my head and corrected him, "Agnostic."
Kane rests his elbows on the counter top, the gray fabric of his sleeves brighten his ashen eyes. "There is no place for women in the matters of religion," he informed me. This boy had nerves of steel. I opened my mouth to rebuke but was intercepted by Kanta's mother, who cradled steaming dishes in her arms.
"There is a place for women everywhere," her mother warned sternly and set the plates down before us.
"I really appreciate such hospitality." I smiled, temporarily changing the subject. The meal in front of me looked beyond delicious. White rice and steamed broccoli with some kind of pale meat soaked in orange goo that that was possibly the most beautiful thing that I had ever seen.
Kanta smiled, "it isn't a problem, really."
It didn't matter if I was going to have to pay for all of this wonderful service in the end; it was nice to feel as if they were doing it out of the kindness of their hearts. The diversion made by the food was hardly effective and the conversation shot right back into religion the moment after the other prayed over our meal.
"Explain to me your ways then, alchemist," Kane started up again.
I sighed and took a quick bite before giving in, "I don't know. I have nothing against any religious practices, really…I respect all ideals…it's just that I, personally, am not comfortable with any type of religion. I don't believe that we could possible know the origins of the universe, or even the origins of ourselves, when there is such an infinite space that stretches farther beyond us than we could ever imagine. There is most definitely some kind of force through which we are all connected...through which life is connected…but I can't say for certain what it is. I cannot look someone else in the eye and tell them that I am one hundred percent sure of how and why everything is what it is. I would be lying…and that's something that I just can't do."
This seemed to have sparked a fire within Kane and his textual references were soon without end. I began to pay attention as he came to the end of his tirade, "Our Father's word is true! How can you not understand that it lies within the text? It doesn't matter. Even if you could see as I do you still would not be saved, you are an anomaly, wanderer. You distort the creations of the Lord."
The elderly man's eyes flickered with interest as I quietly rested my fork down on my nearly empty plate and replied calmly, "If your god does not make mistakes…then alchemy is not a mistake either. If everything is created for a reason, if everything has a purpose then alchemy does as well. I'm not creating monsters. Some people try to…but alchemy isn't the root of this evil…it's the human soul. People abuse alchemic abilities to fit their own disproportioned needs. But the science itself is fairly simple-it's equivalent exchange. To gain, something of equal value must be lost. Alchemy is turning dirt into mud, and then mud into clay. Everything is the same, everything is continuous…the only difference being the form in which it takes."
"That is enough Kane, I'm sure that we have exhausted our guest enough for one night," Kanta's mother declared and began to clear the plates from the counter top. He grunted once more and turned an icy shoulder to me while Xander began a light conversation with his grandfather. Another hour or so passed as I spoke with Kanta and her mother, whose name I learned was Asha, while the men had a gruffly hushed conversation of their own by the flickering embers of the dying fire.
The faint song of the crickets bled through the walls from the outside as the flames withered among the crumbling logs in the fire place. Kanta helped her grandfather climb the rickety stairs while Xander spoke quietly to his mother. I yawned and stood up from my place on the stool, stretching my aching limbs. It came as quite a surprise when Kane cleared his throat and stood up as well.
"Wanderer," he mumbled and I turned back to his solemn face. He continued, "The Xingese believe in a dragon pulse…the Letions in a sun deity…and we have our Ishvala…no matter what one believes the wrath of God remains the same…and his mighty fist will deliver judgment whether or not you think it to be true."
"That's quite a mighty fist," I commented thoughtfully.
It almost looked as if a smile played upon Kane's lips as he replied, "I respect you…you are more than you appear to be. Remember what you stand by, Wanderer, and Ishvala might just take it easy on you in the end…"
He doesn't give me time to respond. I barely managed a small smile before he turned abruptly and headed into a back room, which I had later discovered was a place beneath the stairs that he and Xander shared. I said my 'good nights' to Kanta and Asha before I made my way up the stairs and to the room which they had pointed out to me. I was far too tired to notice anything-not the color of the walls of the feel of the furniture. I didn't even turn on a light, but rather felt my way through the darkened space until I stumbled upon a small bed heavily layered in blankets.
I slid beneath the covers with a sigh. I had been on the road for no more than a week and already the journey was turning out to be quite something. I closed my heavy eyelids and lied there, listening to the sounds of night that filled the air around me. I thought of my father…and uncle…and Rolland…and his parents…the list was never ending. I rolled over onto my side and took in a deep breath of the crisp desert air. Already I had experienced more than I could have possibly fathomed just years ago…and already I knew that there would be so much more to come.