Do I hate you or myself more? I hate you because of the way I feel about you, and I hate myself for feeling it. It shouldn't feel this damn good to think about you. I shouldn't feel butterflies when you walk past me. Fucking butterflies, man. That just isn't right. So I make myself feel bad about it. I have to. And I make you feel like crap for making me feel it, even though you don't know what you're being punished for. You shouldn't be punished, Kurt. You should be worshiped. I should be kneeling down before you, declaring my loyalty, sacrificing my pride and public image at your altar. That's how it feels, with you. Not emotion, religion. You're a deity. God of beauty and love, God of freedom. God of everything I want to be. You're strong and I'm just weak. You make me weak. I almost don't mind, and that makes me so fucking furious. I'm supposed to be strong, Kurt, I've fought so damn hard to be strong and make others know that I'm strong. So I rebel against you in an attempt to pretend that you're not holding all the power here. But I'm Judas, and you were my chance at heaven.