He sensed something was wrong the second he woke up.
He felt for her in the bed, groggily at first, then increasingly frantically.
She wasn't there.
"Trin?" He sat up. "Trinity?"
Her voice came from the far side of the room.
"I'm here."
The sickening familiarity of that exchange finished him altogether - he threw the covers off and reached her in two strides. "Trinity?" He fumbled for the light and flicked it on.
She was shaking - from shock or from cold; he couldn't tell. He started rubbing her arms, to comfort as well as warm - she wasn't wearing anything either, so he reached for a blanket and wrapped it over her shoulders. Her very passivity unnerved him more than anything else could have. It was so unlike her.
"What is it? What's wrong?"
There was a silence, and just when he thought he wasn't going to get an answer, she spoke. "I remember."
"What?"
"Everything," she said. "I remember everything."
"Everything...?"
"The Matrix. The war. Zion." She paused, and then said, her voice more frightened than he'd ever heard it, "The machine city."
His stomach tensed. This was exactly what he'd been warned against - uncontrolled return of her memory, if they got too close. He swallowed hard, then focused on the practical. "It's cold, Trinity." He stood, and held out a hand. "Come back to bed. We can talk there."
He led her back to bed and settled her against him under the covers, then hugged her tightly; as much for his own comfort as hers. "Everything's okay. I swear it is."
"Morpheus?" she said, her voice a hoarse whisper. "Link? Niobe?"
"Fine. Everyone on that ship's fine. Zion's safe. The war's over."
"So why are we jacked in? Are we - we're not stuck here?"
"No. But they're still healing you. The machines, I mean. We'll go home just as soon as you're well enough - you were pretty badly hurt."
"The machines?" she said, and stared at him. "Why? Why would they?"
"Peace offering, I guess. They want this to hold as much as we do."
"What?"
He smiled a little. "They're sick of fighting too. And they figured sending us home in one piece might be a good way to show it."
She nodded slowly, looking somewhat unconvinced. Then she said, "How did you do it? Peace, I mean?"
"We made a deal - I stopped Smith. He was threatening their survival as well as ours." He paused, not sure how she'd take the next part. "I let him take me over; stopped fighting. Then they were able to delete him."
She breathed out and settled back against him, closing her eyes. "I knew you would."
"Stop Smith?" he said, surprised. "Or let him win?"
"Save Zion. I knew you'd find a way."
He could think of no response to that, so he just held her until she spoke again.
She sounded better - calmer, more together. "Zion - how bad is it?"
"The dock's a bit - well. Like someone let Sparks do the catering. But the rest is pretty much okay. Nobody we were tight with was hurt." He hesitated, wondering whether reminding her of the annihilated fleet was a bad idea, and decided it was. Either she remembered that or she didn't - he wasn't about to force it upon her.
But there was something else they did have to talk about. "Trinity - why I stayed away. You have to have wondered."
"You had reason," she said. "I know that."
"Yeah. I did. I was told you'd break through the programming if we were together too much; that it would harm your recovery."
"Being with you would harm my recovery?" she said, frowning.
"Not me, exactly. Just everything, these past months. They said the stress of remembering too soon could put too great a strain on you, that you'd be better with them giving you a very gentle past. You needed calm. They said I had to give you time to heal, and when it was safe, they'd remove the uploads, and we could go back home. So I went along with it. I had to."
"The Matrix is relaxing?" Her voice was flat.
"No, but..."
"I thought I was going crazy, Neo. Literally, I mean. Christ, I was an orphan, I got out at twelve, I never fit here at all."
"But the stress..."
"Being with you was never stressful," she said. "Never. Events were, sometimes, but then they were over, and we were okay. Things were okay. Here... God. I can't even tell you. What it's been like." She shivered. "Though Ghost could." She was silent for a moment, chewing her lip, and then she said, "Has he? Talked to you about what I told him?"
"No," he said at once, relieved that he could answer in the negative. She'd had so little autonomy - whatever the Oracle and Ghost had thought, this was a decision he'd been sure about. He wasn't about to eavesdrop on her confidential chats with her best friend, least of all when she was so vulnerable. Anything she wanted him to know, she would tell him herself in her own time.
"Neo - I made a pass at him."
Neo blinked. Left-field wasn't even close. "You did what?" he said.
She turned around so she could see him, and her eyes broke his heart. Huge, and guilt-stricken, and utterly miserable. "They programmed it that I'd been happy, mostly, when we were married. I started to think it was leaving him that had fucked everything up, that it was that that made the world so horribly wrong." She shuddered. "God, I can't believe I did it. Poor Ghost - he was horrified."
"He loves you," he said helplessly. "He'll understand. He won't blame you - how could he?"
"He was very tactful. Gave excellent advice." Her mouth twisted wryly. "Mostly how this mystery woman of yours wasn't any barrier. That the guy I should be with was you."
Neo put his mouth to her temple and kissed her. "Well. There you go."
"It isn't him I'm worried about."
"Zach'll never know," Neo said gently. It didn't matter, not alongside her distress. "Who'd tell him?"
She shook her head, bemused. "I hadn't even thought of whether it was fair or unfair on him. We didn't have that kind of setup. I've been worried about you, not Zach."
He hesitated. He'd meant it, that they shouldn't talk about this. Why salt a wound that would heal, unmolested? But he couldn't help himself. "It wouldn't ever have got serious?"
She stared at him in horror. "God, no. Neo, I ended it as soon as I figured he cared. No future whatsoever."
"So..." he couldn't find the words.
"It was the Matrix," she said. "We were looking for Morpheus. I was desperate - things were all wrong and I couldn't work out why. I was just... everything was messed up. I knew something was missing, something essential, but nothing made any sense at all except you, and I had to leave you alone." She rubbed her forehead with the heel of her hand. "I thought that was what you needed. What I could give you; do for you. Space."
"Yeah," he said. "I can understand that one."
She hesitated, and then said, with difficulty, "You were going home, weren't you. To Zion. That's why you were leaving."
He nodded, ashamed.
"Was this why?"
"The Matrix?" he said. "I guess. I was losing it here without you."
"No. Zach."
He was silent. Then he said, "I've been jacked in too long - my mind's been playing tricks on me. I figured maybe you'd want him, even when you remembered. I'm so sorry, Trinity. I can't tell you how sorry I am."
"Neo..." she began to blink back tears. "Don't. Please, just don't. This isn't your fault, for God's sake don't apologize. Not when I let you down so badly."
"You could never let me down."
"I did."
"We both of us lost it a little in here, that's all."
"It hurt you."
He shrugged. "Persephone hurt you."
"That's different," she said at once.
"Yeah. I knew what was happening, and I still did it. I made a conscious choice."
"You didn't have a choice."
"There's always a choice. Even if they're not easy, they're still choices. And I made one here too. Ghost disagreed, you know. Said you had to get your memories back, that the costs were too high - I overrode him. We both did the best we could, Trinity. We both screwed up. Let's just leave it at that - please, I can't bear seeing you so unhappy. It isn't even like any of it was real - it's just the fucking Matrix. It's over, you're here. And I need you so much. Things in Zion... Jesus, the politics there now is insane. Please. Just let it go."
She looked at him for a moment. "You're saying I have to get past it for your sake?"
He nodded, his eyes fixed on hers. "Please."
"Sneaky," she observed.
"But it's true."
"Yeah, I know. That's the sneakiest part."
They were woken by the door.
Neo pulled on his robe and opened it. Then he stepped outside and shut it behind him. "Hey," he said, his face utterly expressionless.
"Is - is this a bad time?" Zach said, raising an eyebrow as he took in the sleepy eyes and disheveled hair.
"Kind of. I'm sorry."
"You have someone with you?"
"Yeah."
"Is it her?"
Neo looked at him for a moment, guarded. "Yeah," he said.
Zach's face warmed into a smile. A smile both genuine and delighted; it made Neo ashamed of his lingering resentment. He suddenly realized that Zach himself looked shocking. Exhausted, red-rimmed eyes, clothes that looked slept in. "Oh man, that's great! Look, I'll catch you later - was just passing and figured I'd drop in, make the most of it, with you leaving town and all. I've not been at work myself, this week. Was meant to corral you for drinks - had to get Kenz to do it - she catch you up?"
"Yeah. She did."
"Okay, cool. Call me when you have a moment - and I'd love to meet her. Hell, what programmer wouldn't?" The smile faded. "Always thought she and Kenz would get along, actually. Figured they'd have a lot in common."
Neo said nothing.
Zach sighed. "We broke up. Did you hear?"
"Yeah, I did." He tried to think of something to say - he couldn't bring himself to express regret. "Hope you're doing okay," he said eventually.
Zach tried to smile. "I'll live. Life's a bitch, right."
"I guess. Sometimes."
"Hopefully it'll work out. She's bound to be a little gun-shy, after everything."
"Gun-shy?" Neo said doubtfully. It seemed singularly inapposite: Trinity and firearms were on the friendliest of terms.
"Yeah. She's been through a lot. Divorced last year, almost killed this, last thing she needs is some moron getting heavy with her, under a month in. Making emotional demands. She's not like most chicks, you know? Not big on sappy - just likes life simple."
"Ah."
"Yeah. But if I give her some time..." he shrugged. "Who knows."
Neo looked away, his fingers tapping an involuntary beat on the door, and Zach smiled. "Sorry, bad time for this. Look - call me, okay? And I'm so happy for you. Seriously. I am. I know how much you like her. Figured you'd been missing her a lot."
Neo looked up then, startled, to be met by honest hazel eyes and a warm smile. "Thanks," he said awkwardly.
When he shut the door behind him again he leaned against it, his head on the wood, and then felt Trinity's arms lock around him, her face pressed against his chest. "I'm so sorry," she said softly.
"No." He looked down at her. "I was just thinking how self-indulgent I've been. He's going through hell, it's about to get a lot worse - and I 've everything I've ever wanted."
She smiled a little. "Well. Maybe not everything."
"Everything I've wanted since being freed, yeah. You, peace, life in Zion. What else is there?"
"A job," she said, and grimaced. "There's no fleet anymore, is there? What're we going to do?"
"The fleet's being rebuilt. The machines will let anyone go who wants to. They've even programs to do the actual freeing, once we identify candidates. Safer, that way. It won't be dangerous anymore - no swimming in sewers when still atrophied. They'll deliver them to us in one piece. But yeah, there'll be work on the ships, if that's what you want."
She pulled back a little and looked at him, surprised. "Don't you?"
"I want to work at something, sure. Something I don't hate. And I want to be with you. After that... I don't care much about the specifics."