This was inspired by one of my friends who just recently had a baby. Even though she's never going to read this, I was in the mood to write a babyfic, H seemed like the perfect letter, and this is what came out.

The ending you may recognize from elsewhere; the idea has been used in several movies and TV shows and was not originally my idea, so I take no credit for it. But I thought it would be a nice conclusion, so I left it in. :D I do not own Avatar.

08. H

Hope

"Remind me again how I got dragged into this?" Toph sighed as she - once again - cleaned "spit-up" off her outfit. Not that she wasn't used to being dirty; still, Toph didn't exactly like the idea of baby vomit all over her clothes.

"Aang's off doing his Avatar duties, and Katara's teaching waterbending." Except it didn't come out quite as clearly as he'd intended, as Sokka had decided to take the Earth Kingdom couple up on their offer of "help yourself to any food you find in the house."

"You know that's not what I meant," Toph argued, chunking the soiled cloth at his head. Sokka turned a funny shade of green and made a face that seemed to amuse the small child sitting on Toph's lap.

"That's disgusting!" Sokka shouted, throwing the cloth on the floor as if it were infected with a contagious disease. "And what do you mean, that's not what you meant?"

"We four are not the only people in town," Toph reminded him coldly, bouncing the baby roughly on her right leg. Neither Toph nor the baby seemed to like it. "Couldn't they have asked someone else to babysit?"

"They could have," Sokka said, "but this is free food."

"You're charitable, as usual."

"And you're going to make her cry... again," Sokka warned. Toph bounced the child harder, irritated. Sure enough, she started whining.

Sokka reluctantly left his seat and snatched the baby away from his companion before the wails could get any louder. Really, it was hard to enjoy a meal with a baby whining in the background. Sokka was sure he had never cried as a child. "You see this, Hope? I have to do everything around here. Toph doesn't know how to take care of a baby, does she?"

The child, who had quieted for a moment thanks to her change in position, didn't seem to like Sokka's tone of voice. She began whimpering again and her eyes teared, an all-too-familiar sign that she was preparing to throw a fit much too loud for someone of her size.

"Neither does Sokka, apparently," Toph snapped, crossing her legs and putting her hands behind her head in an all-but-verbal statement that her cries were his problem now.

"Not again!" Sokka shouted. Hope liked this louder, more frantic tone of voice even less, and she made her opinion known in the only way she could. "No - shhh, don't cry! Shhhh! It's okay! You're away from that crazy lady now, aren't you?" Sokka's baby voice was even creepier than his normal one. Toph rolled her eyes.

"Are you hungry?" Sokka asked, staring at the crying ten-month-old as if he expected an answer. Her wails increased in volume.

"Ahh, that's it, isn't it? I think I've figured it out! Toph, do you think she's old enough to eat turtle-duck meat?"

Toph facepalmed. She was starting to get a headache, and she wasn't sure if it had anything to do with the baby at all.

"No, you idiot. She's ten months old."

"Well, maybe if I break it up into little pieces -"

"Give her some baby food."

Sokka sighed. "Fine, have it your way. We'll feed her mush. Where is the baby food, anyway?"

"Weren't you listening? Ying told us it was on the top shelf in the little wooden container."

Sokka paled. "...Wooden? You're sure she said wooden?"

Toph gave him a blank stare as an answer. Sokka shoved Hope into Toph's arms and rushed over to the food cabinet. He searched the entire top shelf for a wooden container. There wasn't one.

"Uhh... we have a problem. I guess I... kind of... ate the baby food."

Toph nearly dropped the child sitting in her lap. "You what?"

"Well, what was I supposed to do? I thought it was peach sauce!"

Toph facepalmed again. Sure enough, the headache definitely wasn't from the baby. Hope had quieted down, but the pain was worsening. "You are, without a doubt, the worst father in the history of fathers. And you're not even a father."

"What?" Sokka asked, confused, but then shrugged it off. "I didn't mean to! You know how I am when I'm around food! I don't think! I - I... damn!"

"Sokka, don't use language like that around -"

"Damn!"

They both froze and turned to the baby sitting on Toph's lap. "Damn!" it exclaimed again, clapping its hands together happily.

Toph could tell from Sokka's heart rate that he was thoroughly upset, but she couldn't help teasing him a bit. "They're going to kill you, you know," she said matter-of-factly, making no move to stop the baby from repeating her first word again and again.

Sokka began hitting his head against the wall repeatedly and mumbling things to himself. Toph smiled. She didn't mind taking the blame for him, but she didn't have to let him know that just yet.

(Updated a bit on 7/11/11)