Hi readers! Hope you enjoy the chapter, I'm happy to say I am over my writers block! Anyway I also wanted to give a shout out to my readers and to anyone who review favorite the story or me as an author. I know I don't really thank you guys and for that I'm sorry, but I am thanking you now so THANK YOU! I love you all!
p.s
Nebunie I just wanted to say that your review was appreciated, and I also wanted to say don't ever feel bad for posting a bad review about how bad the story is, what you said was true and as many people before you told me how bad the story was in the beginning I worked on making it better. I think once I'm done with my other stories I will go back to re-editing this one.
It's been a week since I got back from the hospital, Dr, Kelso gave me a week off to "recuperate and get better" in all honestly that week was spent with me just getting high and sitting in my room. I told Turk and Carla I was just tired so they wouldn't worry and they eventually left me to my own devises.
When I left the hospital I thought that I would get better but after I got high that fist day I got back I felt loads better. I stayed off it for a day trying to gather myself I told myself I didn't need the drug, I told myself I didn't need it anymore. But then Carla and Turk kept on checking in on me and Elliott even called once or twice to ask me how I was doing. I feel like a baby J.D thought sourly as he reassured Cara he was okay for the millionth time that day. "Okay Bambi, but if you need anything, or if you just want to talk… well just let me know okay?" "Sure Carla"
After our little conversation I ran to my room to do some lines just to make the pain go away. I hated the way they saw me now, I know they've always thought of me as weak but this was a whole knew level. As I walked into the room I locked the door and after grabbing the small bag from under my bed I went to sit in a corner next to my closet. I clutched the bag in my hand while senseless tears ran down my cheeks. I wanted this pain to end, I wanted to stop having people feeling sorry for myself, I wanted to feel happy. I continued to stare at the bag as I slipped into a dark depression, I thought of everything that made me feel like crap and I subconsciously made a list in my head.
I am a failure and hopeless for love.
Everyone thinks I'm unstable.
No one really likes me, I'm a burden to everyone I know.
I'm forced to stop my thoughts when a sudden sob escapes my lips; I shook at the force of it and desperately clawed open the bag of coke in my hand. No more, I don't want to feel anymore! I think to myself as I crawl over to my bedside table sprinkling lines of white dust onto the glass and eagerly inhaling. As the burning sensation fills my noise my mind becomes hazy, I feel as if everything is slow and for once I stop thinking. I lazy clean up my mess and pour any contents of powder I missed into the small plastic bag which is now almost empty. I sigh as all my problems disappear and I am once again surrounded by sweet nothingness.
Dr. Cox's P.O.V:
It's been a week since newbie was released from the hospital and I haven't heard from him since, sighing I angrily smack my hands on the desk. Oh get over it Perry, who cares if newbie hasn't talked to you in a week, when did you become so dependable on him? To add more pain for comfort I do a quick face desk just as Carla taps my shoulder. "Something wrong?" she asked dressed in her usual pink scrubs, her hair pulled back in a bun. "What, no just thinking" I say as I grab a chart. "In case you were wondering, Bambi's doing fine, granted he spends most of his time in his room, but he's good." How does she always know what I'm thinking? "What does he do in his room?" I ask finally letting her see what she knew already; that I actually was worried about J.D. "Sleeps mostly, says he's tired" she shrugged, "I think he's just embarrassed about the whole thing" I nod my head "Yeah probably, well I got to go check on a patient see you later" I say I see her nod and I go off to check on a patient. Is he really tired or is he just telling them that, is he doing something else? Cutting, Crying, Doing drugs, planning another suicide? I push the silly thoughts away no he wouldn't, there's no way he would. Sighing once more I go off down the hall to deal with a patient.
Okay so I'm running into a bit of a wall with the plot there is one thing I am not sure about so I would like YOU the readers to tell me what to do, as soon as I figure out how to put a poll on my page I ask you all to vote. For the time being I'm just going to ask all who review to answer the following question: Should Dr. Cox be with Jordan or Elliott? Please answer so I know what to do for the next chapter thank you.