It might be ours: Chapter 4

A/N: I'm sorry for delay on this one. This is for my incomparably lovely sister Eva who has asked me, every single day for the past several weeks, if I've written chapter 4 yet. Well, Eva, here you go!

Warnings: Violence. Not explicit. But enough that I disturbed myself. Not that I believe you will be disturbed, of course. I'm just so used to my fluff~

Chapter 4: The Nightmarish Way

Elder Church, not one prone to swearing, couldn't be cursing harder. (Inwardly, of course, and at himself, but the Lord could still hear, so that didn't make it any less of a sin, right?)

All the wrong and dirty and illegal and forbidden words danced across his thoughts, and no matter how hard he tried to scrunch up his brain and crush the stream of cusses, he just couldn't do it.

Overcome with a vile wave of self loathing, Elder Church found himself buckling under the weight of his disappointment.

It had been months and months and months since something like this had happened -he couldn't remember the exact count right now, but certainly it was more impressive than any of the other elders' records- and now, Elder Church had messed up.

Again.

Of course he had.

Fu-

Da-

No, I can't- I'm in enough trouble as it is -no more -I can control my thoughts. I will control my thoughts. I don't need to swear. Swearing doesn't make me feel better. I need to behave, and I can get out of here quickly. Whatever it is, this is okay. I can deal with it. I can handle this. I can do this. No more. Just -behave.

If there was one thing Elder Church hated more than anything in the world, it was having no one but himself to cheer him up. Maybe that was why he had developed so many imaginary friends as a kid. Pep talks worked better out of someone else's mouth.

And if there was a second worst thing in the world? It might have been this. The dreaded hell dream. It was that constant stabbing reminder that he'd failed himself, failed his mother, even failed Heavenly Father, that made Elder Church want to beat himself up.

But he couldn't do that, because being beat up was the thing he hated the third most.

Elder Church had a list- it got all the way down to 15, the most recent edition, which read: Having to talk to Elder Price for extended periods of time.

That was another thing that made him feel alone- his dislike of the cocky, selfish missionary. Not once in the three months that Elder Price had been here had Elder Church ever seen him so much as offer anyone a hand to help them get up.

So Elder Church was in some sort of limbo between all his least favorite things. He was right in the center of hell -fiery pits, acid lakes, and all- he was probably going to be tortured by the demons here (a few bruises and a black eye never went amiss) -and he was utterly alone.

Well, not entirely alone. There were plenty of lost souls running around trying desperately to escape the burns and whatnot, but that didn't matter. Elder Church had no one here.

But that might be better, right? It wasn't like Elder Church wanted to see his friends in hell. Besides, what help could they offer him here? Elder Church didn't mind taking holding up his own fair share of troubles. After all, it was better than having to hold up anyone else's. Elder Church had declared his independence from all people who tried to help him at the ripe age of five. (Except his mother, of course. But that was just because there was no one better than a mother to cuddle with. He was not a mama's boy.)

Okay, then, another night alone.

Da-

No. Don't do it. Behave. Don't let yourself get punished for anything else This will be over before you know it.

Anything else. Right. Because the reason Elder Church was currently ankle deep in molten lava (he might as well be honest with himself) was his fight with Elder Davis.

Which had started with a lie.

A stupid lie, about whose mess that pile of clothes was (Elder Church knew full well they were his), which had escalated to a larger one about how Elder Church always did all the work around this place and no one ever offered him any help (okay, maybe that could be gently classified as an exaggeration), which had blown up into a lot of insults and accusations of laziness, weakness, and parental abandonment issues (of all things!), which had resulted in Elder Church storming out of the hut, slamming the door, and going on a long, huffy walk for a good hour when he was supposed to be studying scripture.

Elder Church wasn't even sure how many rules that was he had just broken -probably all of them- or how much trouble he'd be in with Elder Davis, and the district, tomorrow when he woke up. A lot, no doubt.

He wasn't even sure what had possessed him into behaving like this strange, new, volatile, overemotional, angry Elder Church. He had survived the first 20 years of his life so far by being just the opposite- his motto in life and on facebook was "stay cool, calm, and collected."

It worked, usually. Elder Church managed to follow the rules. He didn't get sent to Hell often. Sure, he saw his so-called friends roll their eyes when he started preaching, but for the most part, everyone liked him alright. He was dependable. Easy to get along with. He followed the rules.

Except for now. When he wasn't. And now, he was going to pay for it.

Elder Church had paid for a lot of things in his life. Mostly, they hadn't been his fault. That made them easier to deal with. This, not so much. But there was no use waiting. He wasn't going to wake up any faster. Might as well... get this over with.

Elder Church knew if he didn't go face Hell, the demons would come and drag him into it. And that, no doubt, would be worse. So, ignoring the fact that his legs were burning but the rest of him was shivering -winds should not get that strong- Elder Church groped his way towards a large cavern with a flashing neon sign that read "Have your tags out and ready for inspection, all ye who enter here."

Well. At least Lucifer knew Dante.

Elder Church was stamped into the center of Hell by a tiny little goblin smiling too brightly for someone mostly immersed in a fiery lake. He smirked at Elder Church.

"Have a nice night, deary."

Elder Church nodded hurriedly, rushing down the cave's corridor. Having to sign in was humiliating, but it was necessary, if he didn't want to get sent back tomorrow. He wasn't sure what was going to happen to him tonight, because he'd never been sent here for such a high-magnitude crime before. Drinking coffee was about as rebellious as Elder Church had ever, in his whole life, been known to get.

"Right this way, Elder," leered a skeleton. "Don't worry. Tonight's not too bad. I'm sure it's nothing worse than your father's taught you, eh?"

He kicked Elder Church in the stomach, causing him to keel over and lose his footing. Elder Church sunk deeper into the burning floor.

"Hey, hey! And guess what! You'll have company! I hear some of you other missionary friends need to learn their place tonight, too. Won't that be fun?"

Could Elder Davis possibly be here tonight too? Because he yelled back? But then- that's not this circle of hell, right? He'd get something lighter for that, probably. I think that skeleton was trying to tell me they're going to use me as a punching bag tonight. At least that's nothing new, right? And all the bruises will be gone in the morning. Piece of cake.

The skeleton, Elder Church's unofficial guide, aimed one last hard kick at Elder Church's legs and shoved him into a glowing cavern, wheeling shut a boulder behind him. No escape.

Elder Church felt himself sprawled across the ground, his whole body on fire. He felt a few prods and kicks on his back and knew they would get worse if he didn't pull himself up soon.

So he did, and they got worse anyway.

It was sort of like being jabbed at with knives, or having lots of soccer balls thrown at you. Nothing too terrible. Physical pain couldn't actually really harm him here. It was, after all, only his soul.

Elder Church stood there, arms out, taking invisible hits to ever part of his body, feeling very much the martyr.

Then the demons came.

He shouldn't have had that last thought.

There were no martyrs here.

The demons were crueler. They twisted Elder Church's body into inextricable shapes, hitting him with any number of things he couldn't quite classify.

But they finished all too quickly. Elder Church was surprised. There was no way it could be morning yet.

Alas, no. It was break time. Or something. Time for the demons to go get their coffee. Which gave Elder Church a few uninterrupted minutes, or something.

Crawling up from the position he had been forced into, Elder Church dared to take an inventory of the places where it hurt. (Hint: all of them.) Then, figuring he had already seen the worst, he bothered to stretch and look around.

He was met with a most shocking site. Apparently not all demons took their coffee break at the same time in Hell. Rather, most corners of the cavern were still conducting their own methods of torture: some physical, worse ones psychological. But that wasn't the shocking part -in the cavern nook closest to Elder Church lay-

Elder McKinley?

Elder Price?

Kampala's District 9 was not having a good night.

"Elder- Elder Price? Elder McKinley? W-what are you doing here?"

"Elder Church?"

Elder McKinley extricated himself up off Kevin's stomach where the two were collapsed in a heap.

"Fancy seeing you here, Elder. Don't think we've crossed paths before."

"I-uh-"

"Oh, of course. This is about that fight you had with Elder Davis today, isn't? Well, it's like I always say- spend a long night in hell, and everything looks better in the morning!"

"You do?"

Elder McKinley sighed. "No, of course not. Nothing looks better from over here. Everything looks red. And awful. It's an awful place to be, Elder, but what else can I say?"

He then crossed over the few feet of lava to lay a supporting, comforting hand on Elder Church's shoulder.

"C-Connor?" Elder Price appeared to be stirring from his heat-induced coma.

"What is it, Kevin?"

"I- where did you go?"

"I'm over here. With Elder Church."

"W-what's Elder Church doing here? Uhhh. Oh, right. That fight this morning."

Elder Church flushed; now he, too, matched the fiery backdrop.

"That's right. It's nice to have company, isn't it?"

"I don't know if I'd say nice..."

Elder McKinley gave Elder Church a quick hug. "You'll be fine, Elder. You look shaken."

"I- I'm alright. When will the demons be back?"

"They're usually gone a good ten minutes or so. If you're lucky, fifteen. Yours just left?"

"Yeah. Hey, Elder-"

Elder McKinley appeared to be doing some calculations in his head.

"Good, you're alright then. I think Elder Price and my reprieve is almost over."

"Elder McKinley, why are you two here?"

"Oh. Hmm. Right. Well, I- I mean- I mean, it's like-" Elder McKinley looked lost. "I, uh, we're here because-"

Elder Church rubbed at his arms, trying to be patient. He had to admit, he was curious. What had super Mormon Elder Price done?

Don't take pain in other's misery, he scolded himself. You're better than this. No one deserves this. Not even Elder Price.

Still- it's nice to know-

No, no it's not. It's not nice to know other people are sinners too. You can be curious. That's okay. But no ill thoughts towards your companions, right?

Lost in his current moral and emotional struggles, Elder Church had failed to notice the arrival of a large, bat-like demon, who was now perched on a stone in front of him and Elder McKinley.

"What's that you asked, my friend? You, there. Blondie," squawked the creature. "Oh, that's right! You asked why these two fine young sinners are here. Well, since they won't tell you, I will."

Elder McKinley buried his face in his hands.

"These- deviants- these- perverts- these abominations- these homosexuals are here because -don't you know, Elder Church? Homosexuality is enslaving, destructive, and addictive! All things we strive for here in Hell. But wait a tiny moment, Connor McKinley. This young man you're standing with- this isn't your pathetic boyfriend. Do you mean to say you've been unfaithful? You've found a new toy? Or perhaps, you aren't listening to my rules again when I tell you to stay where I left you!" The demon's voice turned quickly from a simper to a roar; Elder Church shivered for Elder McKinley's misfortune.

But- gay? Mormons can't be gay! They must have this wrong. This must be part of Elder McKinley and Elder Price's torture. Having me believe this about them.

"It's the last one, isn't it?" Wheedled the bat creature. "You know what happens when my rules get disobeyed, don't you, Elder?"

Elder McKinley nodded. Elder Church backed away.

As the demon moved closer the Elder McKinley, he was interrupted by a shriek.

Elder Price had gotten to his feet and, on uncertain footing, was making his way towards the merry trio.

"No! Oh, gosh! Connor! Connor- Don't hurt him! Please! Connor, are you okay?"

And with the grace of an overexcited dolphin (which is to say, not ungraceful at all), Elder Price launched himself at Elder McKinley, doing his best to shield him from any incoming blows.

Together again in a heap, Elder McKinley found his voice.

"D-don't hurt me? I appreciate the valiant effort, Kevin, but this is Hell here. You can't protect me."

"I can try."

"You won't succeed. I'm much stronger than you, and way better at this, so please let me do the protecting here. I promise, Kevin. I can't let you do this."

"You are not stronger than me."

"In lots of ways, I am. Shut up, now."

"Watching them hurt you is-"

"Shh, Kevin. Don't say that. They already know. And if they don't, you're not doing us any favors by telling them. It'll be fine now. Are you ready? Here they come-"

"STOP. TALKING." Screached the demon. "Get up, get off him. Come on, now. There. If you won't listen to me the first time..."

Elder Price and Elder McKinley found themselves blasted apart and stuck to the back wall of the cave, a few feet between them, completely unable to tear away from the stone, or even to see anything. Hell had blinded them.

"Much better." The demon's satisfaction couldn't have been more smug.

"Connor!" Elder Price's voice was small, desperate, broken. If he hadn't been paralyzed with fear and loathing, Elder Church might have been reassessing his opinion on Elder Price based on that one, small plea. But he was paralyzed with fear, and could do nothing but watch. A part of him was in awe of Elder McKinley's acceptance of his fate- he reminded Elder Church of the old war movies his dad liked to watch. A soldier in the front lines of battle. Stoic. Calm. Prepared for death.

"I'm right here, love. It's okay. Relax." A soldier with a tragic, fated love story. Even better.

Their jailer chuckled. "Ooh, we have a brave one, don't we?"

Elder Church watched in horror -first as Elder Price and Elder McKinley struggled against their invisible bonds, and then as his own demons began their procession back towards him from the other side of the cave wall, Starbucks cups still in their skeletal hands.

When the demon flying in front reached Elder Church, he plopped down and shook his head in disgust.

"Hey, man, you've been released on parole or something. Good behavior and the like. Something those two over there-" (he jerked his thumb at Elder McKinley and Elder Price) "-have never gotten. Damn heroes, the two of them. So if you want to follow me, you can leave now. Don't take anything with you. We hope you enjoyed your visit, and you'll be tempted to come back soon."

Elder Church, shaking, was barely able to comprehend his good fortune before being dragged out of Hell by his hair.

Not again. Not ever again.

But back against the cave wall, Elder McKinley and Elder Price still had hours to go. Flinching against the iron pokers and the strips of leather, Elder Price had begun his nightly mantra under his breath.

I love you Connor I love you Connor I love you Connor I'm sorry Connor I want to help you Connor Let me save you Connor I love you Connor I love you Connor

There was no saving in Hell. (And if there was, Elder Price wouldn't admit it, but he was pretty sure he'd be on the receiving end.) The chant was comfort enough, however, against Elder McKinley's shrieks and groans. After a while, Elder Price noticed he no longer felt any pain against his own body. It was only Elder McKinley's screams... growing louder...

And in another moment, Elder Price was awake and drenched in sweat and utterly alone. The fire and brimstone red had faded to velvety, nighttime black and his boyfriend's screams had become his best friend's snores. Elder Price lay shivering in bed for a moment before he tip-toed out of his room and into the hallway, where Elder McKinley was already waiting for him.

Elder McKinley threw himself into Kevin's arms.

"Kevin- oh, Kevin! What were they doing to you back there?"

"To me? They were hurting you, Connor. They were torturing you. They made me listen to your screaming, over and over again, I couldn't move. I couldn't help you. I couldn't trade places with you. Oh, Connor, I'm so sorry."

Connor looked confused for a moment.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, love. I wouldn't have let you if you tried. But those demons are getting awfully careless. Don't you see, Kevin?"

"N-no, no, I don't see."

"That's what they did to me as well. Made me think you were the one being hurt. That you were suffering. It was all a trick. A horrible, awful trick. But we know better now, and they can't get us like that again."

Kevin clutched Connor tighter.

"Come on. Let's go sit outside for a little bit. Just the two of us."

On the little wooden bench, with Connor's head nestled in Kevin's lap, and Kevin's fingers tracing patterns soothingly all over Connor's arms and face, Connor thought of something.

"Do you think Elder Church will remember that in the morning?"

"What? Elder Church? Uhh... oh, gosh, I hope not. I don't think he would take it too well. I don't know. Maybe that fight he had this morning humbled him or something."

"We should check in on him."

"Yeah, maybe. Not right now though."

"Of course not right now. I have you right now, alone, and we're not about to be dropped into some all-consuming fire."

Connor pulled himself up so he was face-to-face with Kevin.

"When do you think those dreams will stop?" Kevin asked.

"I don't know. Maybe never. I can't-"

"It can't possibly be never. God's got to change his mind about liking us as a couple sometime."

"Kevin, don't joke, okay? I don't want you to go through this for the rest of your life- I won't let you."

"I can handle it. You're there. I can handle most things when you're there."

"Hell you can handle... but not how to turn the oven off, huh?"

"That was one time! And I'm still a better cook than you."

Connor shrugged. Kevin leaned over and planted a kiss on his nose. On his forehead. On his cheek. On his lips. All over his face.

This was Kampala, Uganda, and there were no heartbreaks here.