Hey everyone, new chapter here. I bet you weren't expecting a new one so early huh? But here it is! So read and enjoy!

Also just wanted to say thanks to all who reviewed or followed the story

Disclaimer: I do not own Scrubs.

P.S Thoughts are in italics

"Hey newbie, what are you doing?"

Oh shit!

"Um nothing, just getting some air" I say calmly as I hop back down off the ledge.

"And why were you on the ledge Scarlet?" Dr. Cox asks as he walks toward me, he's wearing a dark gray shirt with blue scrubs followed by his famous brown jacket.

I look down towards the street below and feel the pull of it wanting me to jump; I resist and reply "Just wanted to see the street better"

He nods then looks at me and does a double take "You smoke?" he asks in a surprised voice; his eyebrows move straight up his head as he looks at me. It's as if looking at me for the first time in a long time.

"Um yeah…new habit" I announce. He nods again. Dr. Cox himself pulls out a carton and a lighter "reoccurring one" he states as he brings the cool tip of cancer to his mouth. After an intake of breath and an exhale Cox looks at me again.

"J.D" he says with a serious and concerned voice, I look at his face witch looks suddenly vary tired, as if just the act of talking is exhausting him. Look what you're doing to him, your killing him. I push the thought away; he only says my name if he wants to really get thought to me. Oh please don't. It's just a waste of time Dad. I'm broken. I can't be fixed.

Maybe this is what you need.

Wait did I just call him dad?

Yeah I guess I did.

I guess that's all I've ever wanted, a mentor, a father figure, someone I could look up to, someone who would help me if I needed it. It's a wonder how I ever made it out of med school without Cox paving the way. This must be killing him. Seeing me like this.

I know he'll never admit it but I like to think he views me in a way I view him. But he views me as a son. Although I wouldn't doubt it if I was wrong, I usually am.

"Are you, ya know. Okay?" he asks, Perry keeps his blazing green/blue eyes on me as he takes another drag from his cig. The staring makes the lying harder, I think he knows that.

"yeah I'm fine" I hear myself answer.

Please buy it.

I take my time with my next drag; I don't want to talk about my problems but then again who does. Dr. Cox continues to look;finally he shakes his head.

"You don't look ok J.D"

"Yeah well I am" I say harshly.

I'm not.

"What happened to you?, did I do this? Tell me honestly did I break you into what you are now?"

"And what am I exactly?" I ask bitterly, as I take another drag letting the smoke burn my eyes so I can at least feel something. Anything but this stupid depression.

"Your nothing J.D, You're not living" he says. I notice he's done with his cigarette, but Cox pulls out another one and continues the assault of the cancer stick.

"If I'm not living, what am I doing?" I think out loud, I hadn't meant to say that but I know he's going to answer. always does.

"You're existing. Just like I did"

"And how do I start…you know living again?"

"You got to beat this, after you win the fight you start to live"

I nod and take my last drag of the cigarette.

"Carla and Gandhi, they can't help you J.D. They don't know what its like"

"Who can?" I ask as my eyes threaten to spew the waterworks I've tried desperately to hold in.

"I can" he states firmly. He's so sure of himself, so confident. I wish I was like that.

"I'm not ready, I need a few days to try it on my own" I say in a weak voice, afraid to look him in the eyes. Afraid that if Perry looks he'll already see what I think he already knows. A drug addict who's afraid of getting better.

"What are you on?" He asks calmly, I notice his hands are balled into fists at his sides though.

"A few things" I say. He looks angry, I see a scowl forming on his face and I want desperately to be out of the line of fire. But we are the only ones on the roof. Shit. His hand snatches up at my jacket and he starts frisking. I shout protest but to no avail,he found my getaway. He found the one thing that's keeping me sane.

"So" Cox snarls as he holds the bag of white powder "this is why you're not ready huh?" Get it back, get it back! I yell in my head as I try and wrench it from his grip. But he's far too strong and big for me; pretty soon I'm tired from all this fighting and want nothing more then to lie down.

With one last surge of energy I try and punch him in the face so I can get the bag but he ends up dodging it and I fly face first into the grave I was standing on. Oh shit.

Man this didn't turn out as I hoped.

As soon as I seen the kid I knew he was still screwed up. I tried to tell him I could help him which is something I know I can do. Honestly what can't I do?

But then he had to say he wasn't ready and at first I believed him. I thought he was scared of admitting he needed the help but as I looked him over I realized he looked more and more like the drug addicts we see here everyday. That's when I got mad.

I mean come on, my newbie, my protégé, my son. Wait my son? I put the thought away to mull over later as I lift his frail body and head downstairs.

I leave him on the fifth floor staircase since no one uses it. I lie him gently down and frisk him again for any other drugs he might have. Not finding anymore I make my way over to the nurse's station.

As I walk over I see Carla talking excitedly to Gandhi who's looking just as excited.

"Hey Dr. Cox, have you seen Bambi?"

I sigh and place the drug on the counter for only her to see. "We need to have a little talk" I growl.

Here we go again.

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