Well, look at this. Aren't I wonderful for updating while I'm supposed to be sleeping? I just had this idea pop into my head and I had to write it down. Hope you like it

Jail Crazies

Dimitri's POV

"Oh, Roza," I said, worried. "Are you okay? How's your head?" I was still pressed against the bars.

She groaned and rolled off the cot to stand up and stretch. "I'm fine." She yawned. "What happened? All I remember is one hitting me and then I blacked out."

My anger rose. "One of them hit you?" He eyes widened like she just realized what that meant.

"One of them hit me and I turned into a Strigoi didn't I?" She asked me.

I hesitated. "Yes, my Roza. I got it back on you with the help of Guardian Mikhail Tanner."

"Why are you in here, Dimitri?" She asked, pressing herself against the bars.

"Dhampir's aren't supposed to get married and someone told the queen that we got married." I said sadly.

"That bitch!" She yelled. Her rage boiling over. "She has a right to get married! Why don't we? I am sick and tired of this bullshit! I got married! Sue me! Oh, wait. That's what you plan on doing. Oh, and you're going to execute me for self defense!" I saw her hands grip the bars enough that they bent under her hands.

"Roza, you need to calm down. If you get upset, you know what will happen." Her eyes flashed toward me, and they automatically soothed into the ones I knew and loved.

"Sorry, but it's just so wrong." She sighed and ran a hand over her messy hair.

"I know, Roza." I said. "But somehow, we will get through this." I smiled and she smiled back. Then a sly smile crept on her face.

"Hey Dimitri?" She said innocently. I knew that look and that voice. She was planning something.

"Yes, Roza?" I said, playing along.

"Remember when we- well I- messed with the guardian at St. Vladimir's?" I narrowed my eyes and nodded. "Can we do the same here?" She gave me the puppy dog eyes.

I gave in. "How much could it hurt? We're already in jail." I shrugged. She smiled. Then she gripped the bars and pulled them part enough to where she could slip through. She got out, bent them back and then came towards my bars. She bent those and stepped in. She closed mine and we were both in my cell now.

"Guards! Guards!" She yelled and then sat down on the floor dragging me with her. I heard a pair of footsteps.

"What do you two want?" I heard him say. His footsteps stopped. "Wait. Weren't you in that cell?"

Rose lifted herself up and stared at him. "No, I have been in the same spot since you put me here." He turned around and left. When we couldn't hear his footsteps anymore, we got up. "Go over to my cell now." She said. I bent the bars, and soon I was in her cell. Once again, she caught the guard's attention and he came running down.

"Now, I know that both of you were in that cell." He pointed towards Rose.

I shook my head. "You must be seeing things. Maybe you should change shifts. Looks like you're tired." I saw Rose contain her laughter. I wink at her as the guard walked away.

We stayed where we were until we heard more footsteps. A different guard came down this time. "Looks like they are fine to me!" He yelled back up to the other one.

I looked at Rose's face as the guard started to walk away. It was her I will kill you look. "Roza?" I said. "Are you okay?"

"He's the one that hit me." She hissed, still looking at the place he was standing only a moment ago. She bent her bars and got out. This time, she hid in the shadows. Before I could stop her, she screamed for the guard. Footsteps once more. He came down and looked back and forth between both cells.

"Where is she?" He yelled at me. I shook my head and he pulled his stake out. He turned, looking around him. I heard a low growl, and then I saw Rose fly out of the shadows. She knocked him against the wall and he slumped to the ground.

"That's what you get." She said to his unconscious body, and got back into her cell.

She bent the bars back and I just stared at her. "You just assaulted a guardian!" I scolded her.

"He assaulted me first! A few hours ago!" She yelled back. "He deserved it!" I shook my head and turned away from her. "Oh, so now you're going to give me the silent treatment, Dimitri? Really?" She paused and I didn't move. "Humph." I heard her sit down. I just sat down, staring at the wall. A few minutes passed. "Holy. Crap. I can't take it anymore. Talk to me." A few more minutes. "Please." Half an hour. "Fine. No sex for a month after we get out of this." Still nothing. "You are so not like any other guy."

"No, I just know that you have no self control, so you will give in to me before the month is up." I said, still not turning toward her.

"I got you too talk!" She yelled in triumph.

More silence.

"You are so annoying! Fine! I give up!"

Some more silence.

"Please, please, please talk to me." At this point she was at the point of tears.

"I can tell those are fake tears just by the sound, Rose." I said.

"Ugh!" She stopped fake sobbing. "Forget it."

**VA**

"You're the one that I want ho ho ho honey… you're the one that I need… crap I forget the rest of the words." After about an hour and a half, Rose had resorted to singing. Musicals. We had just passed Chicago and Grease. What will she torture me with next? "I want fabulous! Bigger better and-"

"Please god no!" I said whipping around to look at her through the bars. "Not High School Musical. My ears will start to bleed." I said grabbing my head.

"I am glad you finally said something because I really didn't want to sing that. Crappy movies." She said and shivered. (Sorry to anyone who like HSM but I had a best friend and she just constantly sang it. Ruined forever.)

"Still not talking to you." I said and turned back around.

"Alright, you asked for it." She took a deep breath. "We're breaking free! We're soaring! We're flying! There's not a star in heaven-"

"I just might have to go over there and strangle you myself." I said and sighed.

"What a thing to say to your wife. I want a divorce." She said with a laugh in her words.

"The law said we couldn't get married, let alone divorced." I scoffed.

"I think we're going to go insane in here." She said after a short pause.

I put my head in my hands. "I think your right."

"We could take our rings off and go on a killing spree." She said like it was nothing.

I looked over at her. "Not funny."

She threw her hands up. "Sorry! Met it as a joke!" She paused and put on a devilish smile. "A very demented and twisted joke." She laughed and suddenly stopped and fell backwards. She lifted herself back up and rubbed her head. "I think the magic on my ring is wearing off."

So, here's how it is if you haven't already deducted as much from the story. If Lissa heals them and uses too much power, Rose goes all Ninja Strigoi status. Oksana is dead, so I don't think that will help a lot. Their trial is coming up and if they both became Strigoi in the middle of it all, they're screwed sideways. So I hope that cleared some things up. Any questions PM me and I will be happy to answer them. Any suggestions? PM me and I will go through it and see if I can fit it in. And I am sorry for not putting 'Katie' in my story yet for Eddie's GF. They're at court now, so I will be putting you in somewhere in the next few chapters. Please review!