I own nothing Twilight-related.
Just a heads up, it gets darker before it gets lighter.
Chapter 8 - Brick
"That is one nasty bruise, Bells," Dad says, handing me the bowl of green beans.
I don't look up from my plate, feeling Jacob's eyes on my from the other side of the kitchen table. Tension suddenly fills the room and I wonder if I'm the only one feeling it.
"Yeah, I know," I respond, rubbing my wounded cheek. "One day I will learn how to walk on a flat surface without managing to injure myself."
Mom and Dad just laugh.
"I keep telling her it's left foot, right foot," Jacob joins in their laughter. "We need to get you some protective head gear. Like a helmet or something."
I chew on my pork chops, the movement of my jaw causing a stinging sensation on the side of my face. I swallow roughly.
"I'll just have to be more careful from now on," I look at Jacob, an easy grin on his face.
It was Saturday afternoon when Jacob showed up on my front porch, flowers and stuffed animal in hand. I stepped onto the porch, shutting the door quietly behind me, and continued walking down the stairs. I couldn't risk either of my parents hearing the inevitable conversation that I knew was about to take place. My thigh was pounding as I moved, causing a slight limp in my step.
"Bella," he started once we came to a stop by my truck.
I just stood with my head down, arms crossed over my chest.
"Look at me," he said, gently lifting my face with his fingers.
Our eyes met and I saw nothing but pain and sadness and remorse looking back at me. It was the same look he always gave the day after, when he realized what he had done. When he realized he was no different than his father.
"You know I didn't want to do that," he began. "I just can't stand the thought of some other guy drooling over you. And you had that outfit on. I just lost it."
He carefully rubbed his hands down my arms, taking my hands in his.
"It was my fault, Alice convinced me to wear that shirt," I finally spoke. "I just wanted to look nice for you."
"And you did baby, you did," he replied. "But I'm the only one who needs to see that, okay? Guys are idiots and when you dress like that, it gives them the wrong idea."
I just nodded my head, agreeing with his words. I wanted to tell him that not one guy at the party had given me a second glance, but decided against it.
He pulled me in for a hug, locking his arms around my back. I felt like my ribs were being crushed in, my back now completely one giant bruise after his kicks.
"It's okay, I forgive you," he whispered in my ear.
I pull myself out of my memory, focusing on the conversation going on around me. Jacob is telling my dad about the camping trip he's going on this weekend with his friends. Mom is just as enthralled, hanging onto his every word.
"It's like a wilderness survival thing," he's saying. "Dad and Harry Clearwater are driving us out to the outskirts of the Reservation Wednesday night. We have to make it back to the house by Sunday night."
He shovels some food in his mouth before turning to me, "That reminds me, Bella, I'm not going to be able to pick you up or drop you off at school this week. We have to spend a few days in this survival class, it's like 6 a.m. to 6 p.m. Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday."
I had forgotten the trip was this weekend, suddenly remembering the Death Cab concert was also this Saturday.
"What are guys doing about food and water?" Mom asks, interrupting my thoughts.
"We have to use the resources of the woods," Jacob answers, taking in another spoonful of beans into his mouth.
"I like that," Dad adds. "Real men should be able to handle themselves in the wild like that, living off the land. Kids today have it too easy."
I beg to differ.
OoOoOoOoO
Monday comes and with it, the burden of having to lie to every single person I know about why my cheek looks like it was struck with a baseball bat. Why I'm limping like a handicapped person. And also why I disappeared from the party so early.
I make it to my locker before the interrogations begin.
"Isabella Swan," I hear Alice's voice come up behind me. "Where the hell have you been and why haven't you returned any of my phone calls?"
"Hmmnnmm. . ." I mumble.
"I'm sorry, what? I don't speak 'Head Buried In Locker', English please," I can hear her foot tapping against the linoleum, impatiently.
I sigh, having known this would be coming. She had been calling my cell phone non-stop since about 1 a.m. on Saturday. Around 2 p.m. she resorted to calling my home, where I had my mother tell her I was not in. I hadn't called her back at all, not having the courage to face her. Too scared to find out if Edward had said anything to her.
I reluctantly turn to face her, keeping my head to the ground.
"Well?" she asks.
It's then that I look up, her face quickly shifting from 'pissed off' to 'holy shit.'
"Oh my god, what happened to your face?" she gasps.
It's then that I also notice Edward, roughly five feet away where his locker is located. I don't look directly at him, but I can see him sharply turn towards our direction at Alice's words.
"It's nothing," I answer, my voice shaking slightly. Alice doesn't seem to notice.
"Nothing? What'd you do? Have a run-in with someone's fist?" she gently places her hand on my cheek.
I can feel Edward's eyes, glaring at me. Like he knows.
"No, nothing like that. I just had a little too much to drink at the party, ended up face-planting it into the ground," I shrug her hand off. "You know me, I could've been stone sober and done the same thing."
I risk a look at Edward, who is staring daggers at me. What the hell is his problem? My life is none of his business.
"Why didn't you come get me? We could've found a ride home," her voice is full of concern and I feel like a piece of shit for lying to her.
"I didn't want to drag you away," I start. "Besides, Jacob came and got me."
At the mention of Jacob, a loud crash sounds from our left. Edward had slammed his locker shut, storming off down the hallway. Alice and I just look after him.
"What the hell was that about?" I ask, pushing my own locker shut behind me.
She leans closer to me, as though she's about to share a secret.
"Did something happen between Jacob and Edward Friday night?" she whispers.
I appreciate her discretion. Word spreads fast at Forks High and the last thing I need is some made-up feud between Edward and my boyfriend getting around.
"What do you mean?" I find myself leaning closer to her as well, lowering my voice.
"It was the weirdest thing. He came into my room Saturday afternoon-or as I affectionately referred to it as, The Hangover From Hell-and told me. . .no, demanded that I stay away from Jacob Black," she crosses her arms over her chest, unconsciously putting up a guard.
I want to tell her that she's right to put up any sort of protection when it comes to Jacob, but I don't.
"Really?" I say thoughtfully, "I have no idea, I didn't see anything."
She looks at me a little skeptically, as though I'm attempting to protect Edward from her wrath. No Alice, I say to myself, it's Jacob I'm protecting.
"When I asked him to explain himself, he just walked off. It was the strangest thing," she replied, then got a wicked smile. "I think maybe someone's a little jealous."
I look at her, clearly confused as to what she's implying.
"Edward. Jealous of Jacob," she giggles. "I think Edward might have a thing for you."
To me, that sounds more absurd than if I outright told her that Jacob dragged me away from Edward that night and proceeded to beat the living piss out of me just a few hundred yards from the party.
"Alice, are you sure you're not the one who fell and hit your head that night?"
By the time fourth period rolls around, I'm already exhausted from trying to keep my lies straight. My other leg is starting to hurt from having to overcompensate for the injured one. My brain feels like it's ready to explode. I just want to run away, to escape this town and everyone in it, even for just a few hours.
"Yeah, I got it," I hear a voice say as I enter the bathroom.
Victoria Laurent is perched ontop of one of the sinks, talking on her cell phone. Something strictly forbidden during school hours.
I don't mention this to her, she would probably kick my ass before I finished the sentence.
"No, it's good, trust me," she's saying, eyeing me as I walk up to the sink next to her. "You know I don't buy the cheap shit."
She continues on, laughing at something the person on the other line says. I hurriedly reapply my foundation, hoping to make myself resemble an actual human being and not a punching bag.
"Jesus, Swan," Victoria snaps her phone shut, hopping off the sink. "What the hell happened to you?"
I inwardly roll my eyes, not feeling like having to explain myself to someone, let alone Victoria. To be honest, she scares me. She's a fiery redhead who is famous for her mouth-not just for its ability to talk back to teachers, but also its abilities with the teenaged boys of Forks.
"UPI," I answer. She looks at me, waiting for further explanation. "Unidentified Party Injury. You know, Newton's house on Friday."
She laughs, probably having had her own fair share of drunken accidents in which she's woken up the next morning wondering how the hell that bruise got there.
"It looks like it hurts like hell," she pulls out a cigarette from her back pocket, offering me one.
I consider turning her down, but figure it's probably best not to refuse her kindness when she's offering it. She's not someone whose bad side you want to get on.
"Here," she holds her lighter up to my mouth, where she's placed the cigarette. "Don't inhale your first time."
I want to ask her how she knows it's my first cigarette, then remember that I'm Bella Swan: Ms. All-American. I suck sharply on the stick, causing a sudden cough and urge to vomit.
"Easy, easy," she reaches into her book bag and pulls out a bottle of water. "Here, drink this."
I chug down a few sips, gaining back my sense of composure.
"It does," I respond, then continue off her look. "My cheek. It does hurt like hell."
She's the only one I've admitted this to. To everyone else, I'm fine. I'm great, even.
She looks at me for a second, then turns back to her bag. I feel like I'm in Mary Poppins, wondering what she's going to pull out of there next. This time it's a pill bottle, with no prescription label on the side.
"What are those?" I ask warily.
"OxyContin," she opens the bottle, shaking one out, then waiting a second as if mentally debating with herself before shaking out four more. "Take one, the rest are for later use."
I take the pills from her hand, staring at them. I've heard about OxyContin in health class. It's a gateway drug for heroin. I've never actually seen it in real life before, but it doesn't surprise me that she has them. In addition to being well known for her mouth, Victoria is also well known for her recreational drug use.
"Come on," she prods. "It'll make you feel better. Think of it as a trip to Wonderland."
She hands me back her bottle of water, waiting for me to make up my mind: to step back or jump off the cliff. To catch the train or leave the station. This is my chance to escape, even for just a little bit.
"Down the rabbit hole I go," I whisper, swallowing the tablet down.
I decide that attending the rest of my classes for the day is pointless, as I can barely focus on one thing. I feel so free from my body that it feels like I could fly. I want to run and never stop. I want to laugh and weep at the same time. In this world, there is no pain and no hurt. There is just numbness and happiness and relief.
I sit in the driver's seat of my truck, waiting to come down from the high and, at the same time, hoping I never do. I don't know how long I've been sitting here when I hear a sharp pounding. For a second, I'm almost positive I'm hearing the sound of my own heart beat.
Tap. Tap Tap.
Wait, shouldn't it be bump-bump, bump-bump.
"Bella?" A voice floats in through the fog.
It sounds vaguely familiar and I turn to look at my radio, wondering how it's talking to me.
"Edward?" I say to it. "What are you doing in there?"
There's a sigh and then my door opens. I realize Edward is not, in fact, inside my radio but standing outside my truck. This knowledge makes me burst out laughing.
"Are you high?" he asks, leaning closer to look at my pupils.
His breath is the same mix of peppermint and cigarette smoke I remember from that night on the dock. I lean as far back in my seat as I can, away from him.
"You can't be here," I say, pushing him away.
"What the hell are you talking about?" he asks, stepping back.
"You're not allowed to be here," I grip the steering wheel, trying to fight off the wave of dizziness that has suddenly hit me.
He huffs angrily, putting out the cigarette I didn't realize he was still holding. I try to keep my eyes forward, focusing on the tree in front of me. It appears to be moving closer and I shake my head, knowing it's in my imagination. I put my hand on my keys, starting the engine.
"Are you seriously thinking about driving right now?" his voice seems far away and so close all at once.
"I need to go home," I tell him, reaching to shut my door.
"If you think I'm letting you drive out of this fucking parking lot, you're crazy," he grabs the door from me. "My mom could be out on the road right now, for all we know. Not to mention your mom or, better yet, your Chief of Police father."
The man has a point.
I turn the car off, grabbing my backpack and sliding out of the truck past him. He is left standing there with his jaw hanging as I make my way on foot out of the parking lot.
"What are you doing?" he asks, chasing after me.
"What does it look like? Walking," I reply, ignoring him and continuing on.
I make it less than a mile down the road before I hear a car slowly down on the road beside me. I know without looking that it's Edward.
"Bella, get in the car," he demands.
I stop walking, turning towards him, a scowl on my face.
"Do not tell me what to do," I don't know where that comes from, but it feels good to say.
"Please," he's begging now. "You can't walk around in this state, something could happen to you."
"Is that genuine concern I'm hearing from the Edward Cullen?" I feign shock.
"Yes, but not for you," he bites back. "Alice doesn't need to lose anymore friends."
That stops me. I want to ask what he means. I want to ask why the Cullens moved here. I want to ask why he's such an asshole to me. I want to ask if he knows how hot he looks when he's pissed.
I don't.
Instead I walk over to the passenger side and get in. The car smells and looks brand new, immaculately kept. I wouldn't expect any less from him.
He turns up the radio as we drive and I want to ask him how he knows the way to my house.
I don't.
I lean my head against the window, staring at the scenery as it passes us. My high has finally started to wear off and suddenly I'm exhausted all over again. The pain is back with more force, the short taste of freedom from it only heightened its return.
It would never go away, it would always be here. The OxyContin only reinforced the loneliness that I feel, showing me the joy and laughter that everyone else gets to experience without the aid of a drug.
"Now that I have found someone, I'm feeling more alone than I ever have before," I sing along softly to the radio.
"She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly," Edward's voice surprises me as he sings the next lyrics of the song.
Neither of us say anything as he turns down my street, coming to a stop outside of my house. I want to thank him for the ride, but I'm suddenly so depressed that the words seem like too much of an effort to get out. We sit there for what seems like forever, but is probably just a few seconds.
"You should've told Alice to stay away from me, not Jacob," I say as I open the car door.
I slide out of the Volvo and turn to shut the door.
"Why do you say that?" he asks, leaning over the passenger seat to get a better view of me.
"I'm a brick."
A/N: Let me know what you think. Playlist on my profile.