Beckett, Esposito, and Ryan walked into the crowded bookstore. She had her book in her hand, grasping it tightly.
"So you guys…" Beckett went to say, and then she stopped. Ryan and Esposito immediately detected the hors d'oeuvres being served and went into the crowd. Beckett smiled and shook her head.
She made her way through the crowds of people sipping on their lattes and people on their laptops. She saw cardboard cut out's of Castle holding his book Heat Rises. There were seats being filled at the other side of the store, fans that were waiting anxiously to meet the author and get his autograph. Beckett flashed back, in her mind, to a time when she was one of these fans waiting in a long line to meet Richard Castle. But now all she had to do was pick up the phone, or show up to work at 8 am to see him waiting her arrival at her desk with a coffee.
Beckett could hear some of the crowd get excited and could see flashes from cameras as Castle came into view, across the room. He was wearing a black striped suit with a dark gray button-up shirt and a grin on his handsome face. He sat at a table with a pen, a glass of water, and a few of his books stacked on the table. Beckett watched him in his own environment. It was different to see him doing his job, compared to him watching her all the time. She smirked at the group of women who were gushing over him.
"Oh Kate, you're here my dear." Martha said, as Beckett turned to her. Beckett smiled, as they hugged. Martha smiled back at her as they released from their hug.
"I am so glad you're alright, Kate. And you know you don't have to wait in line to see Richard dear, you can go up there."
"Oh that's alright. I think I'll wait until I can talk to him…alone." Beckett replied, smiling as she looked at Castle signing books.
"Yes, it takes some getting used to." Martha spoke and Beckett looked at her confused, "the fans and publicity."
"He makes it look easy." Beckett said.
"How are you feeling?" Martha asked, in a concerned tone.
"Alright, I guess. It still doesn't seem like it happened. Martha, I'm sorry that you and Alexis…"
"You have nothing to be sorry for my dear. We're all just so happy you're alright. Richard was so worried about you, he didn't leave the hospital until he knew for certain that you were okay. He's really grown into quite a man these past few years, and I think you might have something to do with it." Martha said, smiling. Beckett couldn't help but blush a little and her left side of her lips smiled slightly at her words.
About twenty minutes had gone by. Castle walked around the room, signing books and taking pictures. He looked around the room trying to spot Beckett. He perused the crowd and spotted Ryan and Esposito snacking on bacon wrapped scallops, and drinking champagne. He smirked.
"Sign my book, Mr. Castle?" Beckett asked, standing behind Castle. He smiled at the sound of her voice, and he turned around. She smiled.
"Anything for a fan." Castle said, taking the book from her grasp.
"Quite the turn out." Beckett said, looking around the crowded room.
"You look nice, detective." Castle complimented, glancing his eyes quickly down and then back up to her face.
"You look pretty good yourself, writer." She replied, looking down and then back up at his intrigued face. Just then a man accidentally bumped into Beckett, and she went into Castle. She got a whiff of his mild cologne and her insides went crazy.
"Want to step outside, get some air?" Castle offered, still holding her book. She nodded yes, and they made their way to the doors and onto the much quieter sidewalk. The air was cool, but had a humid feel to it also.
"So." Beckett said, awkwardly.
"So." Castle repeated. They didn't really know what to say.
"I was going to go down to the twelfth tomorrow morning." Beckett said, breaking the silence.
"So soon?" Castle blurted out.
"Castle, just because I got shot doesn't mean crime has come to a hault." Beckett replied. Castle wasn't sure how to go about this.
"I know, I just…I just didn't expect you would go back so soon. Do the guys know?" Castle asked, referring to Esposito and Ryan.
"They'll know tomorrow." Beckett said. Castle still didn't like this.
"Kate, I…" Castle hesitated. Beckett was confused, and was trying to keep herself calm.
"What?" Beckett asked, creasing her brow.
"I don't know why, but, I feel like you need time. You just got out of the hosp…" Castle tried to say, but she cut him off.
"That's why. I have to go back to work Castle. As crazy as it may sound…I need it. I need to be back there. I need something to keep from going insane. I don't need time, everyone keeps telling me I need time, and I don't. What I need is…"
"What you need is to realize that you almost died." Castle said in a very serious tone, as Beckett looked up at him in shock, "You almost died Kate." Beckett's eyes were staring right into his concerned blue eyes. She could feel her heart sinking. She knew she had to say it now.
"And what about you, Castle, what have you realized out of all this?" Beckett asked, getting a bit irritated. She needed him to say it. She wanted him to say it. Castle creased his brow, and his heart skipped a beat. There they stood in the middle of the sidewalk, both unable to read each other. She had him cornered like a suspect.
"I... I realized how much more this means to me. More than a book, or solving a murder." Castle admitted. He was beating around the obvious bush. "And a big part of me still feels like this is my fault. And I know you're going to say it isn't, but I still feel like it is. I always pushed for you to look into your mother's case. You're an extraordinary woman. You deserve to have closure and peace."
"That day in the cemetery, did you mean it?" Beckett demanded. Castle looked at her, and then the door flew open.
"Hey guys, we were looking for you." Ryan said, with a plate of food in his hand. Esposito and Ryan looked at Beckett then at Castle.
"Oh, a… sorry are we…" Esposito went.
"We definitely are." Ryan admitted, in an apologetic tone.
"Guess I should sign this." Castle said, opening the book to the blank page. He thought for a moment and then began writing with his sharpie on the crisp new blank page of the book. He closed it and looked at Beckett, as he handed it to her.
"We should get going." Beckett said to the guys. She felt like the air still wasn't cleared between her and Castle. She didn't know how to tell him how she felt about him, and he didn't know either.
"Thanks for coming." Castle smiled at them, and he kept his eyes on Beckett. They started to walk away from Castle. He felt empty, and just wanted to scream out to her. But he didn't know what this could do to them.
"Beckett." Castle yelled, and she turned. They looked at each other for a moment, and then she continued walking.
Beckett said goodnight to Ryan and Esposito, then walked up the stairs to her apartment. She walked into her apartment and took off her jacket and threw her keys on the end table. She went into the dim lit kitchen and placed the book on the counter, once again. She was scared to tell Castle about her feelings, and she was also scared, in a way, to hear his and if they were true. She went into the fridge and got a bottled water out, and began to drink it. She ran her fingers through her long brown hair, frustrated.
Beckett picked up the book, and opened it to see what he wrote. She read it:
I meant it and I'll stand with you, always.
She stared at the words, and reread them again. She hadn't expected it. She felt her face flush and her heart skipped a beat. She looked up slowly, still holding the novel open in her hands. Her eyes wandered back and forth, and she bit her lip. Her heart was pounding, and she felt so light. Her hands closed the book. She rushed to grab her jacket off the hook, grabbed her keys, and ran out the door.
Beckett walked at a fast pace down the city sidewalk. The bookstore wasn't far from her apartment. She had so much going through her mind. She was unsure of how to react to this. This was his way of saying he meant it, the 'I love you.' Beckett was only two more blocks away. She was nervous, and hoped he was still there. She passed taxi's being hailed by other New Yorker's, and street vendors were closing their carts. She could see the store ahead. As she got closer, she focused her eyes around her to find him. All she had to do was cross the street now and she would be there. The pedestrian walk light came on and she continued. And before she made it to the curb, there he was walking out of the store.
Beckett froze when she got to the sidewalk; she was still a few yards from him. Castle looked down the sidewalk where Beckett was standing. He wasn't expecting her to be there. They stared at each other from a far for a few seconds, until Beckett finally got the feeling back in her legs and she continued to make her way towards him- slowly. Castle watched her slowly approach him with a serious look on her face. His heart was pounding just as fast as hers. Her heels made a clicking sound on the sidewalk as she walked, and he could see the book in her right hand. He wasn't sure how she was going to react. The only way he knew how to express himself was with words on paper. She kept her green eyes on him. Castle couldn't speak, and wasn't sure what she was about to say. Beckett was a few feet away from him and her pace started to quicken towards him.
"Kate…" but before Castle could say anything, Beckett reached her left hand out and pulled his head down into a deep kiss. Beckett let her left hand run through his hair as they kept their lips locked, his bottom lip in hers. Castle was so shocked, and it felt almost unreal. Her lips were so soft, just like before but this time it wasn't on the job. Beckett pulled away and looked into his mesmerizing blue eyes, and he stared into her gorgeous green ones. She smiled like a school girl who had just realized her first crush, and he smiled back. She looked at his lips and then back at his eyes, he loved when she did that. Then they both went in for another kiss. Castle wrapped both his arms around her slim body and pulled her in as close as he could. She could feel his heart beating under his coat against her body. She had both her arms wrapped around his neck, still holding the book. They continued to kiss passionately under the lights of the sparkling city. Beckett opened her mouth, allowing Castle into hers. Castle held her body tight, his right hand on the small of her back and the left one around her upper back. Together, they were crossing the thick line they had between them. Both were feeling the warm feeling rushing to their hearts more and more the deeper they kissed.
The city lit up the dark night, and the air was calm and cool as raindrops began to fall over the buildings and streets. They both released from each other's lips, wanting more. Beckett looked up as raindrops fell down onto her face. Castle watched her in awe. She looked back him.
"I love you too Rick." Beckett confessed as her eyes watered. She was so scared as she let the words come off her lips. She was taking a leap that she had been scared to take in so long. But Castle was worth it. Castle smiled back at her and he pulled her into another kiss.
"I think I've written this scene before." Castle said, referring to the end of his first Nikki Heat novel Heat Wave when Rook and Nikki kiss in the rain. Beckett smirked. She let her arms fall from his shoulders, and he let go of her body. She reached out her hand, and he placed his into hers. And then they started to walk together through the pouring rain, just like out of a book.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I was debated on if I should just end it here or not… depends on what you guys think lol.I might pick this up again because I enjoyed working on it so much. Hopefully this story helped the wait for September 19th! I had some trouble with this chapter, because I wanted it all to tie for reading! I really appreciate it I'm trying to work on some more stories too. Xo Ashley