Dying.

The word had never been so heart-breaking. I suddenly felt like my world was caving in, collapsing around me were the walls I built up ever so slowly after our break up. I stared at this girl, the one who had been haunting my dreams and watching me burn in my nightmares and in reality, this very moment, I was watching her rot. When I was angry I can't say I didn't wish I could watch her break, but now that it was happening, my heart felt heavy and I couldn't help but curse myself. Did I cause this! Did I somehow wish this upon her? She was crying. Fuck, I made her cry. She's dying and I made her cry. The blue eyes that had trapped me when I first came to Degrassi, the blue eyes that fluttered when I kissed her, were now crying over me. I had dreamed for so long that Clare would beg for me to take her back, crying as I rejected, making her feel worthless for once. Now my nirvana was dying and I could feel myself breaking and my heart swelled with guilt. I loved her.

"You love me?" I choked, Jake inching closer to us. She nodded, her bright eyes dulling as she cried. "What do you mean you're dying?" I bit my tongue to stop myself from crying. I couldn't bare it if she was telling the truth. I didn't want to believe the only light in my life was being snubbed.

"I need a heart transplant. Birth defect," she sighed breathlessly. "I'm not going to get it. Not important enough." She chuckled an empty laugh and I didn't stop myself this time. I was crying, the love of my life just confessed her love for me and she was dying. Everything was burning, and she caressed my face, "It'll be okay Eli. I just… I had to come and tell you how I felt. I had to tell you in person. I was going to write you a letter, but how impersonal would that be!" She laughed again; the most beautiful laugh I had ever heard was going to be gone. I cried harder, and she pulled me closer to her. "I couldn't take it if I passed on without letting you know how I felt. I love you, okay? Everything will be alright."

"Aren't I the one who should be consoling you?" I tried; I tried to be myself for her.

"I think I've cried enough." She smiled at me, pulling my face towards her weakly, and kissed my tears.

"I can't live without you." I wept, gently burying my face in her chest. I heard her heart. Her heartbeat was irregular. "I love you so much." I couldn't say it enough. I stopped crying, wiping my face on my shirt, and picked up this delicate creature. She muttered something against me. "Mm?" I asked, hoping she would repeat herself.

"I need you." She whispered, "I know, I know I'm not in the best shape, but I need you so much. Ever since I found out, all I could think about was that I was going to pass without seeing you again. Please take me back." She was so weak from talking.

"You're the world to me. Everything's going to work out." I can't function, I mean, I was happy and heartbroken at the same time. Clare was mine again, and she was being taken away from me with each breath. I wanted to kiss her so badly, but I knew that now I couldn't. She needed air I so greedily wanted to take away from her.

"We have an expiration date, 1 year. If I don't get a transplant by then, then… then…" She couldn't finish and I wasn't sure I wanted her to. Hearing her say it, it was going to break me all over again. "What about Imogen?" She asked, as I kissed her cheeks, her tears.

"She was attempting the impossible." She laughed, looking up at me curiously. "Helping me get over you," I hinted. She looked down, I lifted her chin, and "I could never," left my throat.

"Me either." We were both beaming, our eyes red from crying. "I should go home. Too much excitement and not too much IV's and meds."

"Okay," I can't say I wasn't disappointed that she was leaving so quickly, "When can I see you again?" I felt like a kid again. What were the rules?

"Anytime. You'll have to keep in touch with Jake and Mom. And me, of course, but they'll tell you what time is best. Jake? Jake, take me home now."

"I love you Clare Edwards." I touched my hand to where her heart is. "I'll give you mine if I have to."

"No. Don't ever say that again, even joking." She kissed where my heart is. "I love you Elijah Goldsworthy." Jake rushed over and helped her walk over to the passenger seat, closing the door for her. I watched from a distance. She waved, and as they drove away I broke down all over again. She was mine again.

She was dying.

I would burn for her.

The phone buzzed in my pocket.

Hook up again tonight?

-Imo

Fuck.

Cliffhanger.. I guess.

Sorry this is so filler-y. I know it was very quick for them to get together. Don't stress, it was mostly fluff, it'll become more realistic as it goes on, promise.