Chapter Four

A/N I forgot to say in my last chapter thank you to my reviewers! You guys inspired me to keep going! So… Thank you! Xoxo.

-Shay

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Revan stared at Canderous for a long while, her body language indicating her distress. Canderous simply stared back at her, until she broke her line of sight and recognized the figures bolting through the door. "What's wrong, what's going on?" Carth huffed, out of breath. He was looking at Canderous, not at Revan. He thought she was hurting Canderous.

"Nothin's goin' on. We were just having a chat. Soldier to soldier. Stop being so damned scared of her snapping, Republic. She's more stable than you are." With that statement, Canderous turned back to Revan, who's shocked face seemed to radiate more emotion than she had originally intended. "Don't look so surprised, Rev. I've got your back." He flashed her a brief grimace-like smile before walking out of the crew quarters, leaving her alone with Carth.

Immediately, Carth looked about ready to turn around and leave her there. "Carth!" she exclaimed, stepping forward and grabbing his shoulder. Her anger had simmered away, and a sudden bought of strength overcame her. "If we're going to do this together, I need everybody to trust me. I need you to trust me. I can't do this alone, Carth. I need you. I need all of you. Especially right now."

Revan flicked her long, radiant hair over her shoulder and looked at him, searching for any sign that he was willing to forget about everything that happened and move on. The look on his face was stony, hard. There wasn't a chance in hell. "Please, Carth, I need you to help me with this." He shook his head and then sighed, staring down at the floor instead of her face. She attempted to catch his eye once more, tried looking at him, but he refused, and she was trapped staring at his unintelligible facial features. It was driving her mad. She needed him, and he was refusing. After all of this, after empty promises to care for her, he was just going to forget it had ever happened and go on as if he had never really met her. "Please, Carth," she repeated, and finally, he looked up to her.

The look on his face wasn't one she had wanted to see. The stony features and the icy tone shot shivers up her spine. This wasn't her Carth, in fact, it was this Carth that was making her realize that her Flyboy could very well be gone forever. "I'll help you, but I won't trust you, Revan. You destroyed my home. Killed my family. You ruined my life."

Immediately, her heart shattered. "I did not! I'm not… I mean I am, but I'm—" Carth shook his head, and Revan knew the battle was lost before he even opened his mouth. She could see it in his face. "I'm not the person who did that to them, to you. Carth, please, I—"

"You gave the order, Revan. You killed millions. I just… I need to think. I need time. You need to give me time. Give me space, because you're sure as hell not doing it now. And what you're doing now… it's just making me hate you more."

Hate her? "You hate me?" she whispered, stunned. Revan took a step back.

"Revan, no, I mean I—"

"That's one thing you can't take back, Carth. I can forgive a lot, but hate, passion, those things are what caused me to destroy your planet in the first place. It's not fair for you to turn that on me. Get out." It was her turn, she was cold, she was angry, and she was hurt. She wanted to hurt him the same way, but after a moment's consideration she realized she already had. Maybe it wasn't her specifically, but the first version of her had definitely done things to deserve the hatred. Carth didn't say another word, he simply turned from the room and walked out, leaving Revan to her despair.

This was the reason that love was forbidden by the Jedi. It was a torture device, more-so than anything Revan had ever experienced or seen before. When Carth had been in that holding cell, when Saul Karath had used him to get information, Revan had been so close to just giving in. She needed him to be okay, and his cries of pain had almost been too much for her. She couldn't breathe in those moments, much like she couldn't breathe now. Carth tortured her in ways it could never be understood.

A whirring sound moved past the door, and finally, after so long, so many days, Revan found herself alone. Completely alone, in solitude with nobody to bother her. She was certain that Carth would be telling people of her melt down with Canderous, and that they wouldn't bother her for the hours to come. So she dropped herself to the floor, crossed her legs, closed her eyes, and began to meditate.

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Hours passed, and each minute she found herself becoming more and more rejuvenated. This was what she had needed, what she had longed for, and she was grateful to have the time to do it. Until the ship rumbled and thudded. Immediately, she knew that they had a problem. She jumped up without a second thought and ran down the corridor. Mission and Zaalbar were the first two she saw. "What's going on?" she asked as the ship was tossed aside once more. Mission regained her balance, using Big Z to help her. "I'm not sure! I mean, there's been some interference for a while, but Carth said not to bother you…"

Revan froze. "Carth told you not to tell me?" Mission's guilt showed in her face. "I can't deal with this now. I'm going to find out what's going on!" Revan dashed down the hall before the ship could give another jerk. She stepped into the cockpit and saw Carth struggling with the controls. Immediately, she plopped herself down in the co-pilot's chair and began tapping different functions. "What's going on?" she asked, a determined tone in her voice.

"There's some kind of gravitational pull. It's dragging us in, I don't think we have a choice, we're going to have to let it. The ship doesn't have the kind of power we would need to escape it." Oh, how lovely. Revan grumbled, frustrated.

"Then take us down, Flyboy. I'm not letting my ship get torn to shreds because I was too damn stubborn to land on some planet."