Clare's POV

I ran down the stairs of Jake's house, hearing his echos telling me to come back. But I couldn't come back, I just couldn't. I was about to run out the door when Jake's dad stopped me.

"Clare what's wrong? Why are you running out so qucikly? Did Jake hurt you? Did he cheat on y-"

"KIND OF," I screamed.

"Do you know who this girl it is?"

"It's not exactly a girl,"

"MY SON IS GAY?"

"No, no, no, I'll let him explain to you, but I really got to go."

I answered and walked out the door. I ran home quickly and went up to my room and started sobbing. I was so confused, is it considered cheating if it's with chicken? My tears poured out into my pillow and I heard someone knock on the door.

"Clare, can I come in?" My mom asked.

"Yeah," I choked out

. She walked in my room and went over to my side and patted my back. "What's wrong?"

"Jake cheated on me..." I sobbed.

"Jake, I thought you were dating that one boy Eli?"

"No mom, I broke up with Eli, he already moved on, groping someone else's tits and everything."

"Oh, I'm sorry honey, so who did that dumbfuck Jake cheat on you with? Did you catch him?"

"Yes, I caught him... Having sex with chicken..."

My mom instantly got up and screamed "WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF FUCKTARD SHOVES HIS DICK INSIDE A CHICKEN?" "APPARENTLY JAKE, OH MY GOD, HE'S SUCH A DIPSHIT, DOES CHICKEN SERIOUSLY FEEL BETTER THAN ME?"

We both groaned in unison and sat back down on the bed.

Jake's POV I was in my room, pacing. I had really hurt Clare's feelings. After we had only been going out for a week, I cheated on her. But not with just anyone, or anything, for that matter. I cheated on her with a piece of fried chicken. And damn, it was good. My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a knock on my bedroom door. I turned around and opened it. It was my Dad. My eyes widened.

"Hey, Dad… what's up?"

"What's up?" My Dad asked me in a sarcastic tone, folding his arms.

"Your little girlfriend told me you cheated on her!"

"Oh no," I shrieked. My skin turned pale.

"She told you about how I fucked a piece of fried chicken?"

"No she-" My Dad stopped himself and narrowed his eyes at me. He raised an eyebrow.

"Did you just say you fucked a piece of fried chicken?"

"Yes," I sighed as I plopped myself onto my bed. "I can't help it, Dad. I didn't mean to hurt Clare," I paused. "I was fucking tempted."

"Oh God," My Dad said, smacking his hand onto his forehead. "I had a feeling this would happen."

"You had a feeling what would happen?"

"That you'd develop the chicken fetish. It's from my side of the family. It skips generations," My Dad said, sighing.

"Cool," I said, grinning. "So does that mean it's okay for me to fuck a piece of chicken?"

"NO THAT DOESN'T MEAN IT'S OKAY, YOU FUCKFACED DIPSHIT!" My Dad yelled, his face turning red.

"DON'T YELL AT ME!" I barked back. "I CAN'T HELP MYSELF, DAD! IT'S INFATUATION!"

"…I'm getting too old for this," My Dad said as he walked out the door.

Forget my Dad. He just didn't understand my undying love for fried chicken. Suddenly I heard a muffled tone from underneath my blanket. I uncovered it to see my piece of fried chicken I had just fucked. Suddenly I heard the voice again but more clearer.

"Hey Jake," It said. I shook my head violently and said to myself,

"I am going in insane, it's a piece of fried chicken, it can't talk!" "Oh yes I can, now baby come closer."

I hesitantly leaned into the piece of chicken.

"JAKE MARTIN YOU ARE A FUCKING CUM SLUT WHORE BITCH DICK SHIT ASS FINGER PONY DICK WHO EATS DOG SHIT FROM YOUR MOTHER ASS YOU TITTY ASS WHORE" it screamed.

"What the hell did I do?" I yelled, tears streaming down my face.

"YOU GAVE ME AIDS YOU DICKFACE."

"What? How? I don't have fucking aids!" I choked out.

"FROM YOUR DAMN BONY DICK. STOP PUTTING THAT SHIT IN ME AND GET REAL YOU FUCKTARD." I kept crying but he just continued. "NOW I HAVE JIZZ ALL OVER THANKS TO YOUR DIPSHIT SELF." "I thought you loved me chicken..."

"MY NAME ISN'T CHICKEN IT'S DONKADOOBALLZ"

"Okay, Donkadooballz, I think it's time you die, " I said grabbing the piece of fried chicken and bringing it up to my mouth.

"If you eat me, I will piss in your mouth."

I shrieked and quickly threw the chicken on the ground. I went to my window and dangled the piece of fried chicken outside it. "Any last words?" I said.

"Yeah, you have a bony dick."

And with that I threw the chicken out the window and into the dumpster. That was the last of Dokadooballz I will ever see... At least...that's what I thought.