Epilogue
A young man about 15 years old stands at a court house in Pallet Town filming a documentary for a school project. "Hello everyone. You might know me as your fellow class mate, Gunther. How could you forget? I have the worst name in town. That kid Dust Ketchum might be a close second. But I'm here to show you how our once peaceful boring town has changed in the last five or ten years."
The doors to the court house opens and out walks a crowd of people dressed up for a case.
"Here I'll show you an example. Excuse me sir." Gunther walks up to a man with spiky white hair. "What was the trial about? Something exciting and sexy?"
"I'm being sued for fifty bucks for spraying my neighbor with a hose." the man answers with a low gravely voice "but that fucker stole my newspaper! He stole it!" he shouts up close in the lens of the camera and then walks off.
"Heh…" Gunther sweat drops "that was just crazy old Barry Busey. And that wasn't a good example. Come follow me."
Gunther walks the streets of down town Pallet. "Legend has it that many years ago Pallet Town was a very peaceful and quiet place that prided it self in being a family friendly environment and retirement destination." he says "But our biggest draw was the poke'mon laboratory headed by now retired research Professor Samuel Oak." Gunther says in front of the lab in the background.
Tracy and James are in the front yard working on the lawn. They see Gunther and his camera crew and wave to them.
"Now Professor Tracy Sketchit and his assistant James Kojiro are running the lab." Gunther reveals.
Inside the lab, the wives mingle with their babies. Duplica and Delia have a conversation while their children Dust Ketchum and Phoebe Sketchit play together.
"You're stupid, Dust." 6 year old Phoebe says.
"You're just jealous cause my half brotha is a poke'mon master." Dust says
"Your half brother is a mom loving Jynx banger." Phoebe replies.
"Jynx is bootiful okay?" Dust shouts. "and who doesn't love their mommy?"
Back outside Gunther is waving back to Tracy and James following the cut away scene I just showed you. "So where is Professor Oak now you ask?"
Cut to a sign that says 'Misty's Beach'. "He can be found here most days." Gunther walks on to the beach to find the old professor lying beneath an umbrella on a beach chair sipping some Scotch. "How's retirement, professor?" Gunther asks.
"Don't call me professor anymore. Call me…happier Oak." Sam says.
"Okay how has your retirement been, happier Oak?"
"It's been great. I spend a third of my time now on this beach. And all I ever buy anymore is Scotch, Viagra, and prostitutes." Sam responds.
"Do you miss working?" Gunther asks.
"Imputing computer data, doing pain staking research, cleaning up poke'shit, and getting raped by Muk? Hell no." Sam sips some more of his beverage. "I still enjoy writing poems though."
"Care to share one?" Gunther says curiously.
"Very well." Sam clears his throat "Every day I sip on Scotch, occasionally I scratch my crotch. Sometimes I come completely bare, I give the tourists quite a scare."
"Appropriate." Gunther smiles. Due to editing, he now stands down town in a new setting. "Some of the younger Pallet residents might not be aware that convicted killer Bryan Anderson used to own his own bar seen behind me." Gunther steps aside to reveal a cozy looking building with a sign reading: M & M's.
"But now the bar has been reformed and takes the shape of a small restaurant owned by a couple, Molly and Max. And across from the bar, the old Friendship Motel is also under new management by Max. The hotel is now called '2 the Max' and no longer caters to the hour for prostitutes and their customers." Gunther explains.
Inside the hotel Max stands behind the counter as the receptionist welcoming a family inside. "Welcome to…2 the Max."
"Why don't you just call it The Max?" the woman asks.
"Uhh…" Max scratches his head.
"Then all you have to say is welcome to the Max."
"But 2 the Max is so cool." Max explains.
Back outside Gunther is still filming "Together they have helped get rid of the slums in Pallet Town and chased out the prostitutes in effort to turn it back into the innocent peaceful town it once was. The area's revenue has now depleted as a result." he walks down the street
"But where are all the prostitutes? Thanks to down-town reform and the funless police, according to a man I talked to, the prostitutes have been moved to another highly populated area." Gunther is back on Misty's Beach.
"Today they can be found here, pleasing men of all ages and sizes." Gunther reveals "I'm here with Gary Oak, the owner of the beach and founder of the new whore-home in town. Tell us about your innovation."
Gary takes the microphone "Well when I heard they were bug bombing and sweeping away our town's valuable revenue source, I rounded them all up like a whore-boy…instead of cowboy." Gary laughs, along with Gunther. "And then I built this beautiful facility behind me to house them."
Behind Gary is a building with a sign reading: Misty's Brothel.
"How has this added feature improved life here on the beach?" Gunther asks.
"Tremendously. All the guys around here are happier and satisfied. We offer affordable rates and quality pussy at Misty's Brothel and I couldn't be more proud of the customer service and options we provide. And as a result, I'm very wealthy." Gary says.
Sam Oak walks by in the background towards the brothel "I'm ready for some more squirting." he says, walking into the building.
"Grampa, being retired doesn't give you the right to talk like Disturbio!" Gary shouts at him.
"Disturbio?" Gunther raises an eyebrow.
"Yeah that new Marvel villain who says disturbing things to weaken his enemies." Gary explains.
"Ohh that's right." Gunther nods. Cut to the forest where Gunther approaches a family of three sitting on a tree branch playing music. "Here we find the profession of music making to lure lost travelers to the next town."
On the branch sits Jaria playing an ocarina, his wife Gisele, also playing an ocarina, and their 6 year old son, Ross also plays an ocarina.
"I wanna play a gitter." Ross says.
"A what?" Jaria asks.
Ross motions with his hands as if he's playing a guitar.
"Never!" Jaria yells. "You'll play the ocarina until you die."
Gunther is no longer in the woods, finding himself inside of a Poke'Mart half way between Pallet Town and Viridian City. "This is one of the most popular poke'marts in Kanto, thanks to the upbeat enjoyable charisma of its managers." Gunther says, and the camera points to Jessie and Meowth behind the counter.
"Hello, children." Jessie grins and waves.
"We got da best poke'mart in da land. Ask us about our special and secret poke'remedy dat both your poke'mon and you can use togetha." Meowth holds up a zip log bag with a green substance inside "It's poifect for relaxing after dose long hard battles. We're da only poke'mart in Kanto wit dis special secret medicine."
"What's it called?" Gunther asks.
"Uh…poke'juana." Meowth grins.
"I wanna." Gunther winks.
"20 a pop." Meowth replies.
As the exchange takes place, the footage cuts to another location where an abandoned building stands. "What you see behind me was once the 'Explosion World' military explosives manufacturing plant. It now makes its home on one of the uninhabited Orange Islands after it was realized it wasn't a very smart idea to have it so close to Pallet Town and a big city like Viridian." Gunther explains. "Convicted killer Bryan Anderson used to work at this factory, and now spends his time on death row at Pallet's prison located on Death Road and 6th street."
Gunther now stands in front of some government buildings "Many of the changes that have occurred in the past few years are a result of our latest mayor by the name of Dawn. Since taking the reigns a few years ago she's had the goal to make our town safer and clean up our image. Some of her ideas like chasing the prostitutes away have been controversial in some quarters. And moving the explosives plant away isn't popular amongst potential murderers, but Dawn still manages to boast a healthy 55 percent approval rating."
"What do you think about Mayor Dawn?" Gunther asks a random citizen.
"I don't like her views on not letting uninsured sick people die on the streets." a bitter old man says.
"What's so bad about that?" Gunther asks, confused.
"Those people have only their selves to blame for the predicament they're in." the man answers "Herman Cain 2012!"
Gunther and his crew migrate towards another beach: 'Caylee Beach' where a big newly built training gym stands. "This is the gym of legendary poke'mon master, Ash Ketchum who has now devoted his life to teaching others the skills and secrets to becoming a successful poke'mon trainer."
Inside the gym…
"Well that concludes our session. Now I'm gonna go home to be with my wife." Ash says with a big smile and his hands on his hips.
Ash walks up to the front door of his mansion not too far from his gym. "Honey I'm home." he walks in and puts down his brief case on a table and puts his coat on the coat rack and his hat on the hat rack.
"Jynx Jynx!" a Jynx runs over to him and gives him a big hug and a smooch on the lips.
"I missed you, baby." Ash kisses her back.
"Jynx Jynx Jynx." she smiles.
"Where's my other girl?" Ash asks.
At that moment a little female hybrid of a human and a Jynx walks into the room with an Ash-esq face and the body and hair of Jynx. "Daddy!" she shouts and runs towards him.
"Rachel hey sweetie!" Ash embraces her in a big hug.
Gunther, who has his crew spying on Ash and his family through the window with their camera, shudders at the sight.
"You've gotta give it to him though." Gunther has the camera pointed at him "he literally does love poke'mon."
Cut back to outside the courthouse where Gunther stands "Well we're back to where we started. At the old courthouse and thanks to Mayor Dawn's revolutionary changes, it's also an execution house. Kind of like those arenas that are homes to both a basketball and a hockey team but change the interior depending on which of the teams is having a home game that day. Same thing here. And because of the lack of sporting events in Pallet Town, watching people get executed is considered to be a spectator sport here. Let's go inside." Gunther holds up his ticket and mini pennant that says 'execution' on it.
Gunther and his crew make their way through the execution house where a ton of fans are gathered, lined up at various food stands and gift shops, and others walking to their seats.
"This is quite an atmosphere huh? Absolutely electric." Gunther says, as the camera follows him through the building. "What are you looking forward to tonight?" he asks a random guy.
"I wanna see a lot of twitching." the guy replies "and I love it when they beg for their lives. It never gets old."
"Oh hey there's former Pewter gym leader Brock Slate. Brock Brock!" Gunther runs up to Brock, who has his arm around a woman in a red dress.
"They let kids in the paparazzi now?" Brock asks.
"Oh no. I'm making a video for a class project. I was just gonna ask you what brings you here tonight?" Gunther asks.
"Well I was around during the attempted murder many years ago that led to this execution date." Brock explains.
"Oh and who is this?" Gunther asks, referring to the woman with him.
"This is my wife, Roxanne." Brock introduces her "And this little guy here is our son, Chandler." he looks down at a little boy with spiky hair and thin eyes.
"Wait. Roxanne? Former poke'mon trainer and male human, Ritchie?" Gunther asks with a raised eyebrow.
"This interview is terminated." Brock shoves his hand into the camera lens.
(The footage resumes at a later time)
"Rick Sure, what's up man?" Gunther asks the famous photographer after spotting him at a concession stand.
"Here to document." Rick answers.
"Hey has anyone ever told you that your name kind of sounds like pick-sure. Picture? That's kind of cool." Gunther says.
"Wow yeah. I never noticed that before kid…thanks?" Rick walks away with a hot dog in one hand and a large soda in the other.
Gunther looks at his camera "That was Rick-fucking-Sure! The guy who took the photographs of Ash fucking that Jynx. He's a legend. Wow."
"Hey there's another high profile photographer." an off-camera crew member says.
Gunther turns to see Todd Snap with Misty, May, a little girl, and a little boy with him..
"Todd! Todd!" Gunther runs over to him.
"Yeah kid?" Todd shrugs.
"I haven't seen anything new from you in awhile." Gunther says.
"Well I've been kind of busy." Todd gestures to the women and the girl. "I'm living with two women and two children."
"Say hi, Ashley." Misty says to her daughter.
"Hii." Ashley waves.
"You too, Joey." May tells her son.
"Helllooo." Joey waves.
"…I'm confused." Gunther says…confused.
"I'm supporting both of them okay?" Todd explains.
"Like a mormon?" Gunther asks.
"I don't like it okay? I'm being forced to." Todd replies angrily.
"Couldn't you just pay child support?" Gunther asks.
"I could. But we have a deal. I support them and the kids, and they let me fuck them every day." Todd explains. "If I'm gonna pay anyways, I might as well get laid right?"
"Ohhh. Got cha." Gunther nods.
"Which reminds me ladies." Todd turns to the women "all this financial support I'm giving is becoming a real chokehold on my bank account. If you want the support to keep flowing, I'm gonna need 45 percent more pussy from both of you every day."
"We'll discuss this at home, Todd." Misty says.
"Only if you start giving me a massage too." May adds.
"I don't know. What about…what about 30 percent more pussy?" Todd continues to negotiate.
"Todd we have children to raise." Misty says annoyed. "I don't have time for sex."
"And I have sperm to deposit." Todd argues. "I don't have time for prostate cancer."
Gunther and the crew walks away and makes their way to their seats.
The moment everyone has been waiting for finally arrives as the scheduled execution time draws closer. It seems as if the whole town has turned out to witness it: Ash, Jynx, little Rachel, Jaria, Gisele, little Ross, Todd, Misty, little Ashley, May, little Joey, older Joey, Delia, Ms. Mime, James, little Dust, Jessie, Meowth, Brock, Roxanne, little Chandler, Rick, Tracy, Duplica, little Phoebe, Max, Molly, their daughter Monica, Gary and Samuel Oak, Mumble, and Mayor Dawn are just among the thousands in attendance.
"Ladies and gentleman, welcome to the legalized revenge killing of Bryan Anderson." the P.A announcer says in the form of Michael Buffer.
The crowd cheers.
"Check it out." Mumble shows a recording device to Gunther, sitting next to him "I had Michael Buffer record this for me." he pushes a button: 'Leeet's get ready to Muuumble!'
Gunther forces a smile and nods "Cool."
"My name is Mumble by the way. I forgot to mention that." Mumble explains.
"Ohh." this time Gunther laughs and high fives Mumble "Awesome!"
"Here to perform the electorized zed execution is a Pikachu belonging to Pallet's very own poke'mon master, Ash Ketchum!" Buffer announces.
The crowd cheers as the announcement is made and Ash is displayed on the jumbo-tron. He stands up and waves to the surrounding crowd with a big smiles.
The large red curtain in front of the crowd opens up, revealing Bryan in an orange prison suit, strapped to a chair with a bunch of wires running around it and connected to his body. Pikachu stands near by with the other ends of the wires strapped to him.
"Pi pikachu." Pikachu gives a thumbs up.
The crowd starts to chant "M.B.D, M.B.D, M.B.D, M.B.D." similar to chants of 'MVP' at sporting events for most valuable player candidates.
"I've never been to an execution before. What does that mean?" Gunther asks Mumble.
"It means 'must be dead'." Mumble answers.
"Ohh okay. M.B.D, M.B.D!" Gunther joins the chanting.
"Chant all you want!" Bryan yells "You'll all wind up where I will some day. In Hell…Cemetery."
A nearby window reveals 'Hell Cemetery' right outside across the way.
Michael Buffer clears his throat "Leeets get ready to kill that fucking assholeee!"
"Pika…pikachuuu!" Pikachu releases a powerful electric attack, severely and fatally shocking Bryan to death with the crowd cheering.
But no one cheered louder than Rick Sure, who photographs the event with glee.
Epilogue Concludes…
I wanted to do this for closure and to promote my other comedy fic "Poke'Scenes" which I suggest you read if you want a good laugh and entertaining stories. And there's an Ash's First parody in there and a presented opportunity to submit a story idea or even a written short story for a future chapter(details at the end of chapter 9).
And even though I have no plans to write a follow up third installment of this fic, you may send me an idea for a third story in a private message if you think it's good enough. Until then I'll see you all in HELL…cemetery.