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Jake's POV

My eyes fluttered open and I looked around my room and gripped my roasted chicken theme sheets. I looked up at my dad who was sitting at the edge of my bed.

"Dad?"

"Good, you're awake,"

"Yeah... I'm awake." I scratched my head, "What happened?"

"You passed out at school fatass. Apparently you gave everyone AIDs you dickhead."

"FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME, I DON'T HAVE AIDS YOU DIPTHONG."

"ACCORDING TO CLARE'S TEST, YOU GAVE THAT GIRL AIDS SHITFACE."

"I don't even know how I got the fucking AIDs,"

"Maybe all those girls you slept with had them ya know,"

"BUT I ONLY SLEPT WITH 352 GIRLS."

"DEAR LORD," My dad said as he slapped his hand against his head.

"Dicks can do amazing things to people's lives."

"...So, do I have to go back to school tomorrow? I don't want to face all those people."

"Well son, you see the principals are concerned that you are creating an epedempic and don't want you around the campus in fear you might spread disease."

"Wh-what does that mean?"

"It basically means you're too much of a cum guzzling manwhore to return to school."

"...What were their exact words?"

"They're exact words were..."Your son is too much of a cum guzzling manwhore to return to school""

"FUCKING HELL. FUCKING SHIT. FUCK MY MY GOD THOSE CUNTBAGS, THEY CANNOT EXPELL ME FOR WHAT HAPPENS WITH MY BONY DICK IN MY BEDROOM, WHETHER IT BEING GOING INTO GIRLS, CHICKEN, GUYS, WHATEVER, ITS NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS, AND BESIDES, THEY TOLD ME THEY WERE ON THE FUCKING PILL, IT WASNT MY FAULT."

"Calm your penis son," My dad said, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"My balls are calm dad."

"Alright. Well, the good news is that you have had good grades and it is close to the end of the year so you won't have to repeat the 11th grade. But Jake, you are grounded until the end of the school year."

"WHY YOU DICKHEAD?"

"Oh I don't know, maybe it's the fact that YOU GAVE CLURR EDWARDS AIDS AND IT WENT AROUND SCHOOL AND EVERYONE IS GONNA DIE THANKS TO YOU FUCKTARD."

"IT WASN'T ON PURPOSE. IF ELI DIDN'T HAVE SEX WITH IMOGEN, AND IF IMOGEN DIDN'T HAVE SEX WITH FITZ, AND IF FITZ DIDN'T HAVE SEX WITH HIS BIBLE AND IF HIS BIBLE DIDN'T FUCK WITH AND IF YOU AND DIDN'T HAVE YOUR SEXY TIME NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE EVER HAPPENED. IT'S NOT MY FAULT PEOPLE CAN'T CALM THEIR VAGINAS AND DICKS YOU FATASS. OPEN YOUR CRUSTY OLD EYES AND SEE THAT NONE OF THIS FUCKING WAS MY FAULT YOU OLD FART NUGGET." I screamed at the top of my lungs.

"Watch your language Jake,"

I groaned loudly and punched the wall. My dad rolled his eyes and stepped out of my room. Why did this have to happen to me?

The next day~

Although I wasn't allowed to see any of my friends, I was allowed out of the house for a while, my dad wasn't home anyways. I went for an afternoon walk and damn didn't I look sexy. I went to my mailbox and saw Imogen from school there.

"Oh hey Jake Demonfucker,"

"My name's Jake Martin, Martin."

"Okay, Jake Demonfucker Martin," she addressed me and grabbed her mail.

"Wait, can't you come over right now?"

"You seriously want me to come over?"

"Please, I have no friends left, and need someone to hang out with please."

"Okay, let's go dickhead,"

"Kay, you lead the way,"

"That's what I'm doing, cuntflap"

"Good,"

We walked into the house and she explored around.

"Where's your room, Demonfucker?"

"Its over down the hall on the left, but don't go in… I got to take care of some stuff,"

She automatically runs into my room.

"WAIT, IMOGEN DON'T"

It was too late, she was in there.

"What the fuck?"

"Imogen, it's.."

She saw my collection of chicken wings, on my wall, on my bed, everywhere.

"Oh my god… "

"Imogen I-"

"This is beautiful…"

"Wait, what?"

She went over and started touching the walls, then she looked at me.

"Jake, I also have a chicken fetish"

"But I-"

"Don't take them down. They're beautiful"

She grabbed some chicken and started eating it. I was a bit scared.

"I have a collection at home too Jake, we have the best sex"

"The best sex?"

"Yeah"

She pulled a chickenbone out of her pocket.

"This" she showed me.

I was surprised… I didn't know what to think of this, but it made me extremely horny.

"Maybe we could fuck chicken together?" Imogen asked.

"Uh well…"

She started to rip off my shirt and rub the chicken against my abs. And after a couple minutes, we are already fucking chicken, just when we both are about having orgasm, I hear somebody come in…