Bella's first day in the pharmacy, continued: policies, practices, and a physician named Carlisle Cullen.

Bella, Chapter 3

I spent the rest of the day getting to know the pharmacy and its procedures. Rick showed me the computerized logs used to enter and track information on all the drugs prescribed through the hospital. There was a small clinic for underinsured families on site, and although it had its own supply of medications, we helped with their records because of the volume of documentation needed for anything prescribed. So, yeah – lots of paperwork.

As Larry said, more prescriptions arrived later in the morning, after the doctors had the chance to do some rounds. Clerks from the three medical and surgical floors dropped off stacks of orders, which were then divided up among the staff. It would keep us busy for awhile.

I'd already given a little thought to how I could correct the course of my relationship with Janice. Maybe she felt threatened with someone else there, after she'd been the sole daytime staff pharmacist for months before I was hired. She struck me as the kind of person who derived a lot of self-worth from being the one whom others sought for information, or from simply having seniority. And although I hated to think this way, she could also be annoyed merely because I was a younger female. It happens.

I looked through the prescriptions on my desk and saw the one thing that never changes no matter what state I'm in: doctors' horrible handwriting. Some physicians in my previous workplace wrote so poorly, they made rounds with a nurse's aide who filled out the orders, which the doctor then signed. Here, though, it looked as if they all did their own. A few had the sense to print clearly; others wrote in such a hurry that their scrawl looked like a bad heartbeat.

This gave me an idea. "Janice?" I said, trying to make my voice sound firm but not aggressive. I figured she had to be approached with some reverence, but I also knew that if I appeared too deferential, she'd walk all over me.

"Yes, Bella?" She was up behind the counter dispensing pills.

"I'm going through my prescriptions and I'm not sure I'm reading the handwriting correctly. I'll bet you know these really well. Can I show them to you?" I hoped I was conveying respect for her experience without seeming to say, "You've been here a long time; you're old." I noticed that Rick smiled a little.

"Certainly. Let's have a look."

I walked around to step behind the counter when I heard someone say, "Good morning, Janice, Rick. Is Larry here?" The voice was smooth, melodic and soothing even in casual conversation. I looked toward the dropoff and gasped.

A doctor – with his commanding presence, he couldn't be anything else – was standing there, smiling at us. He had the face of a young god, minus the arrogance: flawlessly handsome, kindly, with a beautiful smile…and pale, chalky skin. The similarities between he and my nemesis from this morning were much too striking, even if their actual facial features were different. It couldn't be a coincidence. I knew there was limited sunlight in Forks, but there was only one other person I'd seen so far who had the same mix of perfection and icy pallor. I'd been trying to push my encounter with Edward to the back of my head so I could better concentrate on what I needed to learn today. This visitor reminded me how unsuccessful my efforts were.

"Oh, hello Dr. Cullen!" I was struck first by the name, and then by the sweetness that suddenly infused Janice's voice. "Larry's at a meeting right now. Would you like me to have him page you?"

"Yes, I'd appreciate that. Thank you." Dr. Cullen's gentle, golden-eyed gaze settled on me. "You must be the new employee." He smiled again, and honestly, it was like the sunshine you couldn't get outside in Forks.

"I'm Bella Swan. It's very nice to meet you," I said, returning the grin.

"Well, Bella, I hope you like it here." Was it my imagination, or was he somehow appraising me? There was an inquisitiveness in his eyes that went beyond the normal look of someone meeting you for the first time.

"Thank you. Everyone has been very kind," I responded. Well, almost everyone. Someone you know act that cranky all the time, doctor?

"I have a prescription order that I thought I'd bring over. It can be delivered to the emergency room whenever someone has the chance," he said, sliding the form across the dropoff table.

Since I was closest, I stepped over to take it. He waited there, watching me, and I noticed his head tip to the side very slightly, as if he was considering something about me. It wasn't at all unkind or leering, just curious. I could tell his smile was genuine.

"Will do," I said.

"Where are you from?" he asked me.

"New Jersey."

"Really! You've come a long way just to work here," he said, laughing.

"Well, Forks Hospital's stellar reputation extends clear across the country," I said, continuing the jest. "It is very different from my home state, but so far I like it. I may even be able to get used to the weather." It was difficult not to respond warmly to this man. Maybe it was a coincidence and he wasn't related to Edward after all.

"I certainly hope so. But if you find the seasonal affective disorder gets overwhelming for you, be sure to see a doctor," he said, with mock severity.

I laughed. "Again, will do."

When he left, I looked at the order. He had the most elegant handwriting I'd ever seen, very similar to calligraphy. It looked like a style from a hundred years ago, and it was perfectly legible.

I stepped up to the counter, next to Janice. "Well, he seems really nice."

"Yes, he is. He's very charming, and very compassionate," Janice said, in an almost dreamy tone. I stole a glance at Rick, who looked like he was about to explode from holding in his laughter. "Everyone here loves him. He's an excellent doctor."

And so handsome. Those unspoken words hung at the end of Janice's comments.

I thought I'd take advantage of her currently mellow state. "Is he related to Edward Cullen, who I guess works nights?"

Rick answered, "Yes, he's Edward's foster father. Dr. Cullen and his wife Esme have been foster parents to five young people for years. They're a close-knit bunch. They do a lot of recreational activities together – camping, hiking and all that. When the weather's good, Dr. Cullen will often take the day to be with his family."

Janice sniffed. "It is a little strange that some of them are...in relationships with each other."

Rick gave her a sidelong glance. "They're not biologically related, Janice. There isn't anything wrong with it."

"It's just unusual, I suppose." She didn't elaborate, unwilling to speak more negatively about the doctor. Rick saw my expression of confusion and explained, "The Cullens adopted one set of brothers and sisters, plus three others who aren't related. Four of them are…well, I don't think dating is the right word," he mused. "Partners, I guess you'd say. Rosalie Hale is with Emmett Cullen. They're around 21, I believe, and they still live with Dr. Cullen. Rosalie's brother Jasper is with Alice Cullen. They're still in high school."

Before I could stop myself, I asked, "What about Edward?"

"Well, I don't know for sure that he isn't dating anyone at all, but he isn't with anyone else in the family," Rick said.

I nodded politely. I didn't bring up how Edward had treated me this morning. I was trying to reserve judgment on that until I had an explanation for it.

When it was time for lunch, I brought my newspaper to the cafeteria, anticipating that I'd eat alone on my first day. Instead, I wound up talking with a very sweet nurse named Becca, who introduced herself while we were standing in the cashier's line. I could see she was nearly as shy as I was, and I appreciated the effort it must have taken. I also realized, with some amusement, how little this town really is. She knew right away that I was the recent hire in the pharmacy. It couldn't have been just the lab coat which gave me away. People here had known each other for generations. An unfamiliar face like mine stood out. I wondered if that had anything to do with Edward Cullen's attitude, although his father seemed well liked even if he was also obviously different.

The drive home in the rental car reminded me that I'd have to start looking to buy my own vehicle soon. I had a little money scraped together for a down payment, but between that and the cost of the move, my savings would be seriously depleted. I hoped to find a reputable used car dealer around here. Maybe I could ask Becca or Rick, or even Larry.

Thoughts of my coworkers led again to the one I'd been trying not to think about. It was very frustrating to feel like I've been misunderstood, and to believe that someone was making judgments about me based on that misunderstanding. I had to assume that's what was going on here. What could he have believed about me that would inspire such sudden hate? Whatever it was, it had to be wrong. Forget trying a fresh start! I suddenly wanted to confront him. I contemplated finding his address and driving over there right after work tomorrow, to demand an explanation for his behavior this morning. I was sorry he wasn't working the 11 p.m. shift tomorrow night because if he was, there was a chance I would disturb his sleep late in the afternoon. Ha.

I knew I'd never do it, I just felt better imagining that I could. Yelling at him in my head wasn't as satisfying as facing him in person, but it did help calm me down. Anyway, even if I drummed up the nerve to face him, I would probably not get the words out right. I had a bad habit of losing my way when I had to defend myself. I became too emotional and couldn't think of what I needed to say.

It was especially difficult when I had to deal with someone who looked like Edward. "I hate really handsome men," I grumbled. He would probably render me speechless under normal circumstances. I wondered what he was like -- if he glared at me like that because he was miserable, or if there was something truly wrong in his life. I shook my head to discourage any expectations of solving that enigma. I wasn't going to entertain some misguided notion that this man was lonely or adrift or otherwise had some gaping hole that only I could fill. I couldn't afford such fantasies any more. Now that I had all kinds of distance from Bill, I saw how much I'd misjudged our relationship, mainly because of such assumptions. I believed I'd had something to offer, and I thought he wanted it. I could have saved myself a world of hurt if I had been more practical. But apparently, I'm not good at pairing romance with common sense.

Well, Bill was no longer my concern, and while it was painful to realize that, I knew the pain would get better with time. Would anything improve with Edward? At the least, we did have to work together. I noticed on the posted work schedule that Edward would be back on the night shift this weekend. So, I'd very likely see him again Monday morning. I had some time to plan what, if anything, I would say to him.

For now, I should just plan my evening. I'd made a vow that I would cook regularly, particularly dinner, even though I'd be alone for the foreseeable future. If I set that type of routine, I'd be much less likely to get depressed. It took some effort to take care of myself when I was on my own. I told myself that it would all be a part of building up my own self-esteem. It would be healthy physically and emotionally – two benefits for one effort.

I really liked the kitchen in my new apartment. It was bigger than the one I'd had in New Jersey, and the extra room to maneuver motivated me when it came to preparing food. I rubbed some garlic and herbs on a few chicken breasts and put them under the broiler. I didn't have a microwave, so I cut some red potatoes into large chunks and set them to boiling on the stove. Now...frozen vegetables, or fresh cauliflower? I pulled out some green beans from the freezer, because the cauliflower florets were just too white. I couldn't get away from pale today.

Certainly, I needed more activities to keep myself busy. I'd have to start riding my bike as soon as weather permitted. Not that I'd wait for a sunny day – the bike would fossilize before that happened, I thought grimly. I just needed better gear so I could ride when there wasn't a prohibitive downpour. There was a sporting goods center, Newton's, right outside of town. I could go there for a rain jacket. The terrain was so hilly around here, I had not doubt I'd improve my endurance as long as I got myself out the door and onto the bike.

Rick had also made the offer to give my phone number to his fiancee so I could volunteer for the literacy program she coordinated on the Indian reservation. Tutoring had always been so rewarding. I couldn't imagine my life without reading, and I wanted to help anyone who didn't know that joy. Seeing the progress a student made, and watching the pride in their own accomplishments, was more satisfying than nearly anything else I'd done. In fact, it gave me such pleasure, I almost felt selfish for doing it.

Ever since I decided to move here, I'd vowed to learn more about American Indian society and legends. I had a perfect opportunity right down the road from me. I love history, particularly as it pertains to architecture and culture. I might have seriously pursued architectural history as a vocation, except that I was pushed in another direction by my father, who wanted me to get a degree in a field where I was more likely to find work. Initially, my dad and I knocked heads about this, but as often happened, I gave in. I conceded that he had a point about the importance of employment opportunities. I'd always been good at math and science, so I decided to study pharmacy. I like the idea of helping people, too, without having to deal with the blood and gore of other health professions. And I could always study history on my own time.

Fortunately, I have a laptop computer, so I started researching the Washington State Historical Society and the Clallam County Historical Society, and I also checked the address of the local library. If I had a game plan for the coming weekend, I'd feel better. I would take my bike out for its inaugural ride in Washington State. And a schedule of places to visit and research to conduct would help me feel connected, and right now, I desperately needed to be connected. It was too tempting to stay holed up in my apartment all the time, leaving only to go to work or the supermarket. I couldn't become a hermit here; it would be that much harder to come out of my shell as time went on.