Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story. At all.
Warning: Shounen-ai, homosexual relationships, etc, etc.
Author's Note: OH WOW.
I updated in a timely manner. This chapter is angst-o-licious, but I added a teeny bit of humor and a tiny bit of Axel x Roxas fluff to make it bearable (thanks, Aindel! Without you, this chapter would've caused much wrist cutting.).
On another note: The documet manager crap-tastic thing on ffnet is being super-duper crap-tastic this morning. So, as you can see, no matter what I do, EVERYTHING is shifted to the left (which looks poopy). Please excuse the poopiness of this. Maybe when I post it, it'll be fixed (but probably not. I hate this thing.).
Summary: Axel thinks Aesop taught decent lessons in his fables, but the redhead is willing to bet he could do better. What good are fables that teach things like "attempt not impossibilities" or "little friends may prove great friends" anyway? Times are different from when Aesop lived and Axel thinks it's time for a new set of fables. All of which will be authored by himself, of course, because he's an expert on love, life, and what truly matters.
That, and Roxas Badcock promised to marry him if he gets his book published.
Axel's Fables
•••
•••
By: Freekiwi
VIII – He Wades through the River of Angst
She pushed, she coaxed, she used the phrase 'carpe diem' until Roxas could not reason his way out of why her idea was a bad one. The way she stroked his cheek, the way she held his hand, the way she told him 'you're my favorite' made him want to do whatever she asked. It made him want to take her advice even if he knew it wasn't good advice. She was a hypnotist, she was a magician, she could get Roxas to do anything she wanted and even though he was wise to this, he still allowed himself to be manipulated.
"It just seems mean."
"Roxy, my love, don't you understand?" she asked kindly, "What you have with Axel, your friendship, it's just… It's just puppy-love. What you shared with Riku was so much more real. Axel is just a rebound and it's not fair for you to use him to fill the gap."
Roxas sighed and looked down at his feet. They were sitting next to each other, on a bench in the park, and enjoying the last few days of summer. She had been gone for most of it. She had been on business trips and her absence in his time of need had greatly hurt him. However, because she hadn't been around, it meant he had had time to spend with Axel. It meant he and the redhead had spent nearly every day together in the summer just being friends.
Not kissing, not having sex, not doing anything but talking about nothing. They had come to be friends and Roxas had begun to treat Axel and his star-painted bedroom as a safe haven from having to deal with Riku or Sora. He had begun to treat Axel as someone he could hide behind whenever he was feeling troubled. Axel had a way about him that made Roxas feel safe. The way he spoke, the way he smiled, the way he teased and played. He was making Roxas fall for him or… that's what he thought until he had sat down with his mother.
He had explained it all to her. Told her all about Riku, the loss of his virginity, the time they had spent together. He told her about the fight, how Axel had broken them up, and then he told her how he had spent nearly the whole summer with Axel. How they would go almost every day to buy sea salt ice cream and hope they got a winning stick so tomorrow they could get free ice cream. How they had laid in Axel's backyard and did absolutely nothing.
"Everything with Axel…" Roxas tightened his grip on his mother's hand. "He just makes me feel okay. He takes away any of the loneliness I feel. He takes all my fears away. And… and we share this understood silence. We don't have to say anything at all to each other. He just knows what I'm thinking or when I'm upset or…"
"Roxas," she interrupted gently. "Can you be honest with him?"
"What?"
"Can you be honest with Axel? Does he know about Riku? About Sora? Or are these secrets you keep to yourself?" she asked.
"I… No, he doesn't know, but…"
"Listen to me." She brushed her auburn hair behind her ear. "Riku only stopped what he had with you because you told him you didn't love him. He couldn't take the rejection. Did you ever stop to think that maybe he's with Sora now because Sora is easier to love? Because Sora loves him back? Did you ever stop to think that Riku doesn't want someone that challenges him?"
Honestly, no. Roxas hadn't thought about any of this. Riku had made it pretty clear that he wanted very, very little to do with him. Granted, Roxas hadn't seen him for almost the whole summer, but he didn't imagine his feelings had changed.
"Take him back. You have to take him back."
"But… But Sora, he –"
"Sora is caught in a loveless relationship. Do you realize that Riku is most likely using him? The same way that you're using Axel? Both of you have rebounded and that isn't fair to Sora or Axel. Riku is prideful, Roxy, so you need to go to him and get him back."
Roxas shifted slightly and frowned. How could he say no to her? How could he tell her he thought she was wrong? His mother had never pointed him in the wrong direction before and she had no reason to do so now. Besides, how did it benefit her in any way if he and Riku were together? Clearly she was looking out for what was best for him.
Even so, he still couldn't get that nagging doubt to go away. He couldn't get that little voice to stop asking, "But what about what's best for Sora?"
••••••••••••••
Demyx had a hard time pretending he wasn't mad at Axel for ditching him on Thanksgiving. Even if it was for a good reason, he couldn't help but feel annoyed with the mouthy redhead. His irritation only increased when he tried calling or texting and Axel very, very seldom responded. He was distracted. Demyx wasn't even getting half his attention anymore and even though he would have liked to pretend his boyfriend was just busy or stressed, he couldn't help but feel like something else was going on.
"Probably something to do with Roxas," he mumbled irritably to himself as he began to slice an apple into pieces. Thanksgiving had come and gone, campus was once again alive with students, and the library was crammed full with kids trying to study for exams. They only had two weeks left before Christmas break and Demyx couldn't say he was looking forward to it.
"Something wrong?" Zexion asked. He was sitting at their kitchen table, watching as his roommate chopped angrily at his apple. He had been reading a book, but Demyx's muttering and mumbling had proved to be a distraction.
"How can he treat me like that?" Demyx growled, "I have no proof Roxas is his reason for acting like I don't exist, but I can definitely guess that's why!"
Zexion shrugged. "Dump him," he stated simply.
Demyx looked up from his apple and gave his best friend a look. "You always say that and it's never the answer I'm looking for."
The slate haired boy shrugged again.
"Don't shrug at me!" Demyx raised his hands, and the knife, in the air. "Your opinion is biased anyway! I can't take advice from you because you're going to do whatever makes you happy!"
Zexion wanted to look hurt, but instead he looked surprised. Demyx never even pretended to be interested in making astute observations. He often seemed distracted or he was singing to himself or he was dancing around to a beat only he could hear. It never occurred to Zexion that his love interest might not be daft in all areas of life. Maybe school just wasn't Demyx's expertise.
"You know, you're just as bad as Axel sometimes." He dropped his arms and proceeded to cut up his already chopped apple. "Maybe you two should date."
"No thank you." Zexion watched as Demyx furiously chopped at the apple pieces. "It's bad enough our cousins are dating. I'll be ecstatic when Leon comes to his senses."
The blond looked up at Zexion, opened his mouth to speak, but a slew of swear words left his lips instead. The knife clanged to the floor, blood dripped onto the mush of chopped apples, and Demyx pulled his hand close to his body and squeezed his index finger.
Zexion immediately stood and rushed over to the blond. He quickly grabbed a clean hand towel from a drawer and placed it over Demyx's finger. He applied pressure to the wound and then let a small sigh escape his lips.
"Are you okay?"
"Yea."
Zexion locked eyes with his best friend. "Liar."
"…Shut up." Demyx frowned. "I can do that myself."
"I know," he said, but he didn't let go. He held the towel tightly around the blonde's finger and the smallest smile crossed his lips when he saw the other blush. "Dem, I want you to do what makes you happy. I just… I hate the way Axel gets under your skin. I hate it when you walk around looking sad and bothered. I am biased against Axel, so my advice isn't the best, but… You have to understand that I would still hate Axel even if you two weren't together. He's just…"
"Stupid?" Demyx offered.
"I was going to say an imbecile, but stupid works too."
A little smile crossed the blonde's lips and Zexion felt relieved. He hated seeing Demyx upset and it was even worse when the other's anger was directed at him. Zexion wasn't exactly good at apologizing, but sometimes that worked because Demyx wasn't exactly good at accepting apologies. He was just content to go back to the way things were.
"Does your finger hurt?" Zexion asked.
"A little," he replied. "Can… can I ask you something?"
He nodded.
Demyx sighed. "When… When I first met Axel, he and Riku were joking about how Roxas and Axel were engaged." His pretty blue eyes looked toward the floor. "Do you… Do you think maybe Axel and Roxas…" He trailed off and then shrugged. "Never mind. It's nothing."
"It's not nothing," Zexion said a little too quickly.
Their eyes locked. They stared at each other for a long time. There was silence between them and blood ran out from under the hand towel and down Demyx's arm. Zexion's eyes were wide and he was doing that thing he always did when he realized he had just said something he shouldn't have.
"What?" Demyx breathed. "What, Zexy?"
"Nothing," he mumbled. "It's nothing, Dem. You're right. It's nothing."
Demyx shook his head. "No, you know something!" He pulled his hand away from his best friend and the bloody hand towel fell from his finger and to the floor in a dirty mess. It was at this moment that Zexion realized Demyx was missing a large chunk of his right index finger.
••••••••••••••
"How do you think I feel?"
Riku pretended to not hear the question. He just continued to flip through his history textbook, reading bits and pieces and then recording little notes. Despite it only being the third week of school, Riku already had a paper due in history. It was a small paper, only three pages double-spaced, but he didn't want to start falling behind. Especially not so early in his junior year.
"Riku."
"I'm busy." He didn't look up from his textbook. He just continued to mark things here or there and prayed that the bell would ring to signify the end of their lunch period. He and Sora didn't have the same lunch period this semester and, unfortunately, he and Roxas did. It was coincidence, but a bad one and Riku had done a good job at hiding from the blond, but he eventually just gave up.
Mostly because Sora told Riku that he and Roxas had the same lunch period so Riku should really get to know Roxas. Sora said he wanted them to be friends. Said he wanted them to really get to know one another, especially after their fight last year.
And Riku ignored the guilt and promised to quit avoiding his boyfriend's twin.
"You can't act like this forever," Roxas frowned.
"This is the library," Riku growled, "not a place for us to have a discussion about… about whatever horrible thing it is that you want to talk about."
Roxas glared and set his stuff on the table Riku was sitting at. He took a seat across from the older boy, his face transfixed in a pout. "You have no idea why I wanna speak to you! Maybe I want to apologize."
Riku looked up from his textbook. "Do you?"
"No! This is your fault anyway!"
"Oh, for God's sake…" he muttered irritably. He closed his book and shoved it roughly into his bag. Roxas immediately stood and slipped his own bag over his shoulders. Riku's eyes narrowed.
"You can't keep avoiding me."
Riku ran a hand through his locks of silver hair. "Why don't you go bother Axel? I know he has a dick you can nurse on."
Roxas looked extremely hurt by the nasty comment and he immediately tried to mask it, but Riku had already seen it. The older boy's shoulders slouched, he breathed a sigh, and then he reached out to gently touch the blonde's hand.
"Sorry," he mumbled as he played idly with a bracelet Roxas was wearing. "I'm just… I really want everything to work with Sora, Rox."
"Then why are you mad that I'm friends with Axel?" Roxas frowned and watched Riku's eyes search for some kind of answer. He watched as Riku retracted his hand, as he breathed a sigh through his mouth, as he checked his watch to see how much longer they had for their lunch period.
"Jesus, Rox, what do you want me to say?"
"I just want to know why you're so mean to me when we haven't spoken in months. I want to know why you're all cold, but then you make snide comments about Axel. If you really want it all to work out with Sora, then why can't you just be my friend?" Roxas frowned and nervously drummed his fingers on the library table top.
"Because, Roxas… You just…" he paused and then hesitated before answering, "It's for the same reason you keep coming back to me even though I keep treating you badly."
The bell rang and Riku took this momentary interruption as his chance to quickly leave the library. Roxas stayed rooted to his spot. It didn't really matter to him if he was late to class. What mattered was that Riku had been a little bit honest with him. Riku had admitted that he was addicted to Roxas.
Just like Roxas was to him.
••••••••••••••
It was pouring rain and Roxas absolutely hated it when it rained on top of fresh snow. It made everything extra wet, extra slick, and extra mushy and gross. It didn't help that Roxas wasn't exactly fond of December or January. His mother had died in December and he was always left feeling badly whenever winter came around. He had been moodier than usual, colder than usual, and much more distant than what was normal. Axel, who had felt he and Roxas were making ground, was hurt when the blond suddenly became Zombie-like all over again.
Sora and Riku didn't pay much attention to this. Axel had come to conclude that Roxas' random acts of bitchiness were just something the two of them had gotten used to. That, or they were so absorbed in one another, they didn't notice it when Roxas mumbled disparaging things under his breath or retreated into his bedroom for days at a time.
"When are you going home for break?" Riku asked Sora. They had made sugar cookies and Sora was waiting patiently for Riku to finish making the frosting so they could start decorating. Axel was sitting at the kitchen table, looking glum, and stirring Fruit Loops around in his bowl of cereal.
"When I'm done with exams," Sora answered. "So, the sixteenth, I think? I know Kairi's already finished her exams. I think her and Nami might go home early."
"I'm going to miss you." Riku cooed as he began to spoon homemade frosting from the mixing bowl into smaller bowls. Sora had already picked out the dyes they were going to use for decorating and as soon as Riku spooned frosting into a bowl, Sora would put a few drops of color in and then stir it all up.
"Get a room," Axel grumbled.
"What's wrong?" Sora asked from his spot on the countertop.
"Trouble in paradise," Riku answered.
Axel pushed his bowl of cereal away from his face and laid his head on the table. He made a noise, a moan of displeasure mixed with something like a fake sob, and then he lifted his head again and rested his chin on his hand. He drummed his fingers against the tabletop and saw Riku and Sora exchange a look.
"It's not fair!" Axel suddenly exclaimed. "How can he just turn himself on and off like that? "
"Well," Riku said, "he's either a manipulative, heartless prick or a robot."
Sora passed his boyfriend a look and opened his mouth to say something, but Axel had laid his head down, hard, on the kitchen table again. The couple exchanged another look and then Sora sighed and put down the bowl of frosting he had been stirring. It was a nice, lime green color.
"Look, Axel, it's not you. Roxas is just… always really grumpy around the holidays," Sora explained.
Axel lifted his head from the table and glared. "I'm really tired of everyone saying that to me. It's not just the holidays. Roxas is always mad about something. I can't wait for you guys to start defending him by saying shit like 'oh, it's Wednesday and Roxas hates words that start with w.'"
Riku didn't say a word. Sora picked up his bowl of frosting and immediately began stirring it again. Axel raised his brows and frowned when he saw Sora concentrating overly hard on his frosting and Riku doing the exact same thing.
"Why are you –"
"Because I'm standing in the kitchen and neither of them wants to admit they were talking about me. By the way, I heard what you said. Asshole."
Axel turned in his seat and his jade eyes narrowed when he caught sight of his disheveled and unhappy-looking love interest. "Well, I meant it."
Roxas ran a hand through his mess of hair and shrugged. "That's nice."
"Oh, just shut up!" Axel stood suddenly and Roxas, who had been making his way to the fridge, stopped in his tracks. His blue eyes got wide and Sora and Riku both looked up from their work and stared. The room had become deathly silent and slightly awkward.
"Just cut it out, okay?" the redhead yelled. "Just stop walking around acting like everyone and everything bothers you! If you want to be sad, then be sad! Don't act like you've got some huge chip on your shoulder and some big fucking score to settle! Act like a douchebag to the universe or… or God! Not to me or Sora or Riku or anyone else!"
Sora and Riku looked away from both boys. Neither of them knew how to intervene, or if they even should, and Roxas appeared to be just as lost they were. Axel rarely lost his temper. Riku could attest to this because he knew Axel was much more indirect. More of a "horse head in your bed" kind of guy. Not a "scream at you until you cry" kind of guy.
"Everyone tries to be really cool about your feelings and your sanity and your problems, but you just walk all over everyone else." Axel gripped the back of his chair. His voice had dropped quite a few decibels, but he still felt he hadn't gotten the point across. "There's so much to be happy about, Roxas, but you're smacking down every opportunity and every chance. If you want to wallow and be miserable, then fine, but stop taking me down with you."
Roxas did everything possible to avoid eye contact with Axel.
"Every time I feel like I'm getting closer to you, you just… You put me right back in my place. You remind me that I'm me and you're you and the only way we'd ever coexist peacefully is if I was someone else. And it sucks, Roxas! It really, really sucks…"
Silence filled the kitchen again. Roxas was still staring at the floor, trying hard to avoid Axel's piercing stare and Riku and Sora were trying to pretend that they weren't there. They were trying to pretend they weren't witnessing this little bit of nastiness between Axel and Roxas and they tried to ignore that Roxas deserved to be told all of that.
"You don't understand…" Roxas mumbled weakly.
"Well, gee, ya' think?" Axel asked. "I want to understand, Roxas, I do! But you're a closed and locked book! It's like you want me to rip the lock off with my teeth and find all your secrets! I mean, Jesus Christ, do you want me to violate your trust? Do you want me to go pawing around for all the things you want to hide?"
"I don't know!" Roxas yelled. "Just… just leave me alone, okay?"
"Oh my God." Axel ran a hand through his hair and told himself to take a deep breath. He was having a hard time not clocking Roxas over the head. He was having a really hard time keeping himself from screaming a string of obscenities and accusations at the small blond. Roxas would definitely deserve it. He was playing around with Axel and Axel hated it. It made him absolutely crazy. It was driving him absolutely insane.
"Fine," he concluded. "Fine. If you really want me to leave you alone, then I will."
Axel left the kitchen without waiting for any kind of response. He was angry and he had every right to be. Roxas shouldn't be allowed to walk on people the way he did and Axel couldn't help but feel angry toward Sora and Riku too. It occurred to him that they allowed this behavior. They let Roxas do whatever he wanted because they felt badly for him.
But Axel's sympathy was running out.
"Roxas?" Sora slipped from his place on the counter and walked over to his brother. "You… Want to frost cookies with us?"
Riku glanced over at them, but then continued to mix the frosting and dyes together. He felt odd interacting with Roxas now that he and Sora were back together. It wasn't as if Riku liked Roxas anymore. Those feelings had long since disappeared. But it was better to just not even go there. It was better to do what he knew would make Sora comfortable.
"No." He shook his head and sighed. "I can't believe Axel just yelled at me."
"I can," Riku muttered.
Roxas glared at him and it only increased when Sora seemed to be sporting the same kind of attitude. He frowned at both of them and crossed his arms over his chest. "So both of you think I deserved it?"
They exchanged a look. A look that clearly said 'yes' and Roxas felt his cheeks heat in embarrassment and humiliation.
"I'm not the only one guilty of bad behavior!" Roxas exclaimed. "He's cheating on Demyx!"
Heat suddenly flared in Riku's cheeks and he rounded on Roxas. A bowl slipped from the counter and broke into pieces on the floor. "You're leading Axel on! You told him you didn't care if he dated Demyx, but then you throw yourself at him!"
Sora crossed his arms over his chest and didn't defend his brother. Roxas looked extremely hurt.
"Just don't," Riku spat. "Don't even act like what you're doing now is any different from what you did then."
Roxas couldn't mask his hurt, "Oh, fuck you! That has nothing to do with anything!"
"Yes it does!" Riku yelled. "You're a fucking home wrecker!"
"I'm a home wrecker?" Roxas yelled back. "You let me in! I was fourteen years old! What the fuck was I supposed to do? Take all my knowledge of boys, the world, and sex and realize you were using me?"
Riku took a step toward Roxas and Sora saw this quickly getting out of hand. "I used you? Is that what you tell yourself to make yourself feel better? You were naïve and you got used?"
"Stop!" Sora yelled suddenly. "Just stop! Stop arguing! I don't care what happened or what either of you think happened!"
"Sora –" Riku tried.
"No!" he snapped. "Don't, okay? Because both of you are selfish and neither of you realize that regardless of what happened, the only person who REALLY got fucked in all of this was me!"
Roxas and Riku both looked away. Both guilty, both at fault, both trying to be the victim and not the aggressor.
"I'm the one who ended up with a wrecked relationship! I'm the one who was betrayed! I'm the one who had to learn to trust both of you again! And, and you…" He looked at Roxas, "You do walk around feeling sorry for yourself! You do walk all over everyone! And I'm sick of it because… because…"
There was a pause here. Roxas knew what was coming next. He knew what was coming because it was something Sora had never been able to say.
"You wrecked my relationship! You stole my boyfriend! And what's even worse is you don't ever even seem to feel bad! Clearly you haven't learned anything from it! Riku's right! You're doing to Axel and Demyx what you did to us!" Sora yelled. "God, Roxas, you're such a jerk sometimes! And you act it's okay because Mom died, but guess what, Roxas? Mom was a lying, manipulative bitch!"
Sora had hit a nerve. Roxas had made a fist and struck his twin before he could stop himself. Once Sora had regained his composure, he immediately struck back and they were in an all-out brawl. Riku attempted to pull them apart, but they were both bound and determined to harm one another and Riku had a feeling that this was a long time coming.
"Axel!" he yelled from the kitchen as he tried, unsuccessfully, to push both of them apart.
"What?" the redhead shouted from upstairs.
"Help!" Riku yelled back.
He was down the stairs and in the kitchen within seconds. He wasn't so displeased to see the twins fighting. He even thought it was a little humorous that Riku was trapped between them and trying to get them apart. Axel plucked Roxas from the fight and even though he flailed in an attempt to get at Sora, Axel held him back with relative ease.
Riku didn't have difficulty holding Sora back, but mostly because Sora didn't seem interested in kicking and scratching his boyfriend just so he and Roxas could continue their fistfight.
"Take it back!" Roxas roared, still trying to break away from Axel.
"No!" Sora shouted. He reached up and felt his lip. It was busted and it was already starting to swell.
"How can you even say that?" Roxas had stopped flailing so much and now he just appeared to be very upset. "How can you even say that about her?"
"Maybe because it's true?" Riku muttered.
Sora glared. "Not helping," he stated through gritted teeth.
"Shut up!" Roxas screamed. "It is not! She never…" His voice cracked and he felt the burning shame of humiliation. "She never meant…" Roxas looked down at the floor, his cheeks a deep, deep shade of red. "She just wanted to help…" he said weakly.
"No she didn't!" Sora yelled.
Riku placed a hand on the brunet's shoulder and Sora didn't continue to yell. He was angry, his lip was swollen and bleeding, and he knew that this fight wasn't over. He knew that this fight had been a long time coming and he knew that this wasn't the end.
Roxas felt the tears come to his eyes faster than he could stop them. He hung his head and tried to hide it. Shame flooded through him and he felt his shoulders shake with sobs that threatened to overcome him. He wanted Sora to take it back. He wanted Sora to understand that she never meant…
"Okay," Roxas choked. It was all he could manage.
Axel had that same uncomfortable feeling that he was spying. He had that same nastiness in his stomach that made him want to leave the room. He hadn't realized it, but he was still holding Roxas by the waist. The redhead knew he shouldn't reward Roxas' bad behavior. He knew he shouldn't feel sympathy for the other, especially not when he deserved it. But that didn't stop him from yanking the blond close and holding him tight. That didn't stop him from burying his face into Roxas' hair and that didn't stop him from realizing that the smell in Aesop's Fables wasn't Roxas' mother.
It was Roxas.
••••••••••••••
By February of his sophomore year, he and Riku were together again. It was in secret, of course, but Roxas had pushed the other boy for months. He would follow him during his lunch period and ask him why they had stopped. Roxas would "accidentally" touch Riku or "mistakenly" end up in compromising positions with him. He tried making himself irresistible to the older boy and though nothing seemed to really catch Riku's attention, Roxas kept pushing.
And then in February, Roxas stopped pushing and he just started taking.
"What do you need help with?" Riku sighed. "I told Sora I'd meet him right after school."
"I just need help with this English paper…" Roxas lied. He had led Riku upstairs and into one of the open classrooms. He shut the door behind them and then walked over to one of the desks. "I thought maybe you could proof read it."
"With the door closed?" Riku asked. He didn't need to be suspicious. He already knew what was going on. "Look, this is just getting ridi –"
Roxas crushed his lips to Riku's own and Riku immediately pushed him off.
"Stop." He was blushing. "I'm dating your brother, remember?"
"I can't help it…" he breathed. "You're just irresistible." He pushed his body against Riku's own and slipped his hands into the older boy's back pockets.
"Roxas, no." Riku grasped the blonde's shoulders and shoved him off roughly. "This is crazy. You're crazy."
"Just about you."
Riku rolled his eyes.
"Oh, come on!" Roxas sighed. "I'll leave you alone if you kiss me."
"No."
"I'll never even speak to you again if you kiss me. Just once."
Riku sighed. "Roxas…"
"Please?" he whined. "I miss you."
Riku felt guilt wash over him and he ran a hand nervously through his hair. "Fine. But then you can never, ever speak to me again. You forget we had anything together, okay? You leave me alone from now on, okay?"
"Deal."
He stuck his pinkie out and Riku looked at it briefly before offering his own pinkie.
Roxas breathed a soft sigh when Riku's hand tangled in his mess of blond hair. He felt the older boy's hand station itself on his hip. He felt Riku's breath when he was inches from his face, inches from his lips. His eyes fell closed when their lips touched and Roxas felt his whole entire world spin. Whether or not it was the same for Riku, he didn't know, but Roxas felt intoxicated by the sensation.
And then their kiss deepened. It went from chaste and innocent to Riku sliding his hands underneath Roxas' shirt as their tongues wrestled for dominance. It became Roxas moaning softly as Riku kissed his neck and left small, insignificant marks along his jaw line. It became so much more than just a 'leave me alone forever' kiss. It was the start of something awful.
Riku was addicted to this and he absolutely hated himself for it.
••••••••••••••
The Flower, the Cock, and the Conquered
He was a fine man. A man of many stories (lies), a man of many accomplishments (fabricated), and a man who enjoyed deflowering virgins (tons of them). He told beautiful women he was a hero. He won them over by telling them of his supposed great deeds. He would buy them drinks at the local pubs. He would liquor these ladies up and then he would deflower them. Now, he only slept with virgins and many towns knew that he went about deflowering women. He had been running his scam for years and because he never stayed in one place long, he had never been caught. However, word spread faster than he did and the next evening he went out, all the women avoided him. The next day, he left for a new town and that same thing occurred that evening. Eventually, all the men and women of every town banished him and he had nowhere to call home.
Moral: Deflowering too many virgins shows a man's untrustworthiness.
Aesop's Fables sat on the edge of Axel's desk and Axel had taken to sitting beneath his window. The rain from yesterday had turned to snow and Axel hadn't left his room since yesterday afternoon after the fight in the kitchen. He had been hiding and for good reason. He knew that if he saw Roxas skulking about, his face all puffy and red, he'd immediately want to make everything better for the blond. He knew he'd invite Roxas to his room. He knew he would cuddle with Roxas on his bed and tell him everything would be okay.
He knew all the yelling he had done in the kitchen would be for nothing if he went to Roxas now. So he was waiting for Roxas to come to him.
Axel was also avoiding Riku and Sora. He had heard bits and pieces from the argument in the kitchen (maybe he was eavesdropping somewhat, but only because he had heard his and Demyx's names) and he had suddenly become very, very uncomfortable with the idea that Roxas had, perhaps, been the "other woman" in Riku and Sora's relationship years ago.
It didn't sit well with Axel. It gave him goosebumps and made him want to crawl in bed for eternity.
How do you know if you're in love? He scribbled at the top of a tattered notebook page. Axel clacked his red pen against his teeth and then tossed his notebook to the floor. He stood and made his way across his messy room. Riku wasn't exactly who he wanted to talk to at the moment, but he had a feeling his best friend could give him some insight on the whole 'love' thing.
He walked out of his room and over towards Riku's door. He gave a knock, waited, and when no one answered, he grabbed the knob and just let himself in.
"Hey, Rik –" Axel frowned when he saw Roxas lying in his best friend's mess of sheets. "What are you doing?"
Roxas had looked up at Axel briefly and then immediately looked away. He knew he probably looked bad. Crying never made anyone look good. He hadn't even showered and it was already midday. It just seemed like work to groom himself.
"I don't want to be around Sora."
"So you're lying in Riku's bed."
"Yea," Roxas said. "Does it matter? He and Sora are probably lying in my bed downstairs."
Axel sighed. "Great." He made a move to leave, but stopped when he heard his duplex-mate mumble something that sounded like "don't leave" under his breath. He paused in the doorway and hesitated before asking, "What?"
"Nothing." Roxas sighed.
"Okay." Axel made another move to leave, but, again, Roxas muttered something that sounded a lot like "don't go" under his breath. Again, Axel paused and then he sighed and asked, "What?"
Roxas looked up at him.
Axel leaned against the doorway. "Come on, Roxy… I can't…"
"Please."
He was really tugging at the redhead's heartstrings. He ran a hand through his hair and breathed another sigh through his nose. "I can't do this with you."
"It's not…" Roxas' voice cracked and humiliation burned through him. "It's not a game…" he whispered.
"Yea, I know. Games are fun." Axel sighed and watched Roxas bury his face deep into Riku's pillow. His fingers gripped the edges, his whole entire body was tense, and the redhead felt so badly for the other and he knew he shouldn't.
Roxas didn't say another word so Axel took this moment to leave. He quietly closed the door behind him and retreated to the sanctuary that was his bedroom. He took his place underneath the window, notebook and pen in hand, and he began to write.
The Wolf and the Sheep
A lonely wolf entered a barn one rainy night and decided he was going to live there because it was cozy and warm. A few days into his stay, a sheep approached the wolf and told him he had to leave because this was the sheep's home. The wolf refused and told the sheep they could both live in harmony. And the sheep laughed and told the wolf that it was impossible for them to be harmonious because wolves eat sheep. But the wolf promised he'd keep to himself and he promised he'd stay away, so the sheep reluctantly agreed to let the wolf stay.
After a few months, the wolf found he rather liked the sheep even if nature had put them at odds. He decided he really liked this sheep and a few more months went by before he finally got up the courage to tell the sheep how he felt. He gathered some flowers from a nearby field and once night fell, he said to the sheep, "I think I might be somewhat of a fool because I think I'm in love with you."
The sheep looked at the wolf for a long, long time and then gently turned him down. The next day the sheep had left the barn without a trace and the wolf couldn't help but feel abandoned. The sheep never had to love him back because the wolf's love was unconditional. But maybe the sheep had never been looking for love and the wolf had been foolish to act on his feelings.
Moral:
Axel hesitated. He tapped his pen against the top of the page and tried to think of a decent moral for his fable. It had to be something about love… It had to have something to do with Rox –
Axel groaned. Not Roxas. The sheep. The moral had to have something to do with the sheep.
"Axel?"
The redhead looked up from his notebook. Roxas had cracked his door and was peering in, his cheeks red and his eyes puffy. He looked like a mess and Axel felt his heart beat uncomfortably against his chest. He tossed his notebook and pen to the floor and stood. Roxas was such a kicked puppy. He was filled to the brim with inner turmoil and Axel couldn't decide if he found this annoying or charming.
He walked over to the doorway and opened it up a little wider. They made eye contact, blue into green, and then they were holding each other. They were gripping each other. Roxas had his face buried against Axel's chest and the sobs he had been repressing were suddenly on the surface. He clutched the older boy and Axel was clutching right back. He pressed kisses to the top of Roxas' head and the sweet smell of honeysuckle threatened to overwhelm his senses.
"I'm sorry," Roxas choked.
Axel pressed the blond close to him. Wasn't it obvious? Roxas would always be forgiven.
Axel loved him.
••••••••••••••
"Can you keep a secret?" Riku whispered.
Naminé felt the hair on her neck rise and she swallowed thickly. She was drawing a picture of Kairi in her sketchbook during her free period at school and she hadn't heard Riku creep up behind her. Rarely did she speak with Riku, but he and Roxas had made it their mission to follow her around and ask her not to tell Sora what she had seen.
"When the secret is worth keeping," she responded unkindly.
Riku felt his heart beat roughly against his chest. He took a seat next to her and breathed a very controlled sigh through his nose. She was still trying to draw, but it was useless. She was distracted now. She had been trying to forget about what she had seen, but it was impossible to do when she was being harassed about it.
"Naminé, look –"
"I don't want to hear your reasoning behind it." She closed her notebook and slipped her pencil along the binding. "I don't want to be involved in it at all. I didn't from the start and –"
"From the start?" Riku interrupted. "You knew I liked Roxas from the start?"
She stared at Riku for a moment or two and then she put her hands over her ears. "I can't hear you. I'm not listening. La la la –"
"Naminé!" He grabbed her wrist and pulled one of her hands away from her ear. "Please don't tell him."
She gave Riku a look. "Dump Sora."
"What?"
"Dump Sora and I won't tell him. What you're doing to him is wrong. If you really do like Roxas over Sora, then you need to dump him."
Riku shifted uncomfortably. "But I love Sora."
Naminé gave a mirthless laugh. "Really? Because it certainly didn't seem that way when I walked in."
He blushed and ignored the guilt and embarrassment that bubbled uncomfortably in his chest. He cleared his throat for lack of something better to do and then he looked around the library to see if Sora or Roxas was around.
"What if I just stop what Roxas and I are doing?"
Naminé sighed and stood up from her seat. "I don't care. You just… you can't be doing… that to both of them. I don't want to talk about it or hear about it anymore, okay? I don't want to be involved and you and Roxas have done a fine job of putting me in the middle."
Riku looked away and tried to ignore the guilt.
"Please don't bother me about this again."
Naminé grabbed her sketchbook from the table and left the library without another word to Riku. She never wanted to know what was going on behind the closed doors, both literally and metaphorically. What was even worse was Naminé knew she was now just as guilty as Roxas and Riku and by not telling Sora, she was only helping their affair.
She knew she was just as bad as them. She knew that the only reason she didn't tell was because she wanted so badly to protect Roxas. She wanted to pretend she was just a victim in all this, but Naminé knew better.
She was an aggressor too.
••••••••••••••
Somehow he and Roxas had ended up in his bed, cuddled together and holding each other. Though Roxas had come to him like Axel had wanted, the redhead was still unsettled about the whole entire ordeal. He still felt his sympathy could be better spent elsewhere. However, he supposed that this was one of the many dire consequences of love; placing forgiveness where it shouldn't be placed. Love truly was blind.
And stupid. So, so stupid.
"Axel…" Roxas breathed. "I'm sorry about –"
"Nope," the redhead interrupted.
Roxas frowned. He glanced over his shoulder (they were spooning and the glance didn't help because Axel was much taller than him) and tried to speak again, "No, listen. I just want you to –"
"Nope. It's okay. Forgiven. All sins are hereby absolved. Can't cry over spilled milk, you know?"
His blond eyebrows came together. "Well, actually… You can."
"But we're men, so we won't."
Roxas didn't question Axel. It was clear what he was doing and the blonde was content to just relax in the other's arms and play along. "You say 'men,' but it's clear I'm the only man here."
"What's that, Roxanne?" Axel tightened his arms around Roxas. "I couldn't hear you. Your voice is just so soft and feminine."
Roxas flailed and struggled to get out of the redhead's arms in mock offense, but all he managed to do was turn himself around and Axel responded by squishing the blond against his chest. The redhead ran his fingers through the shorter boy's hair and ignored the mumbled insults being lobbed at him.
"Hey, Roxy."
"Mph… what?" He squirmed a bit away from Axel, enough so he could look up at the other.
"If I said you had a hot body, would you hold it against me?"
Roxas stared. His lips parted as if he wanted to argue, but then he closed his mouth and just let a heavy sign escape through his nose. "If you were words on a page, you'd be fine print," he replied.
Axel smiled and pressed his forehead to Roxas' own. "Um... If stars fell every time I thought of you, the sky would be empty."
Roxas wrapped his arms loosely around Axel's neck and a small blush crept up his neck when he felt the redhead's hands slide downward to rest on his lower back. "If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I'd have a whole galaxy in my hand."
"If a thousand painters painted for a thousand years, they couldn't create a work of art as beautiful as you."
He squirmed closer to Axel so their bodies touched. He ran his fingers through the taller boy's soft, red locks and pressed a gentle, brief kiss to his lips. "I wish I was your derivative so I could lay tangent to your curves."
There was a momentary pause. Axel's eyebrows came together and a small smile formed on his lips. "Is… Is that a calculus pick-up line? You're a nerd." He laughed and slipped his hands underneath Roxas' shirt, gracing the smooth skin with his fingertips.
"I'm not a nerd," he contested. "Fine, um… How about… I'd rather ride you than Yoshi any day."
Axel grinned. "That's still pretty nerdy, Roxy." He ignored the other's eye roll and raked his fingers down his back. "If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' between 'F' and 'CK.'"
"That's romantic," Roxas stated sarcastically. He brushed his hand across the redhead's cheek as he thought of the next line. "Ooh, okay… If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me come for dinner between the holidays?"
Axel couldn't wipe the grin off his face. "If I was a watermelon, would you spit or swallow my seed?"
Roxas made a face. "Are you subtly asking me if I spit or swallow?"
"No, but that is a great question." Axel pressed a brief kiss to the blonde's lips. "Tell me."
"What? No. I like our pick-up line game better." Roxas blushed and took a moment to bury his face against Axel's chest.
The redhead didn't debate. He squeezed the blonde close to him and nuzzled his face into his hair. "I'm sure I'll find out soon enough." Axel paused. "I can feel you rolling your eyes, Roxy."
"Good," he replied. Then he added, "So… is that a wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
Axel cringed and smiled. "I'm going to pretend that isn't a Harry Potter pick-up line."
They fell silent and Roxas couldn't help but beam when he felt Axel tangle their legs together. It felt good to be this close to him. It felt good to be wrapped up in him like this. He nuzzled his face against the older boy's chest and released a soft, content sigh through his nose.
"Hey, Axel?"
"Hm?" he purred.
"We'll always be friends, right?" Roxas looked up at the other with wide, red-rimmed eyes.
A gentle smile spread across his lips and he slipped one of his hands from Roxas' back. He wiggled his pinkie at him and instantly the blond understood. He took his hand from around Axel and latched his pinkie with the redhead's own.
"Pinkie promise."
••••••••••••••
It seemed unfair that Riku had been going to break it off with Roxas when Sora found out. It seemed like some kind of foul for Sora to walk in and see Roxas kissing Riku on the mouth. He had been going to tell Roxas they had to knock it off. He had been going to tell the blond that they needed to quit because Naminé was right. This wasn't good. This was unfair. Riku had never meant to be the kind of boyfriend that steps out, but he had become just that.
And it was really starting to bother him.
Of course, Roxas didn't take the news well and he immediately began to kiss Riku. He immediately began to justify it by saying "just one last time." It was just bad timing. It was all just one giant mess. Sora had walked in, saw them kissing, and then there was no explaining it. Sora didn't want to hear it. He didn't care what either of them had to say. He couldn't handle knowing that the two people closest to him had deceived him.
"It wasn't –"
"Just stop," Sora growled. "Just leave me alone! I really don't want to listen to anything you have to say!"
"Sora…" Riku followed the brunet to his locker. They had been caught three days ago and Sora had done an exceptionally good job at shutting him and Roxas out. "I'm sorry."
"And?" He slammed his locker closed and glared at the older boy. "I don't care if you're sorry! I don't want anything to do with you anymore, okay? You and Roxas can go and be together now!" Sora gripped his English textbook tightly. "You ran around behind my back and… and you were screwing my brother! And all you have to say is sorry? Please, just stop trying to alleviate your guilt by apologizing."
Sora turned and began to walk away, but Riku reached out and grasped his arm. "Sora, please…"
The brunet snatched his arm away. "Don't touch me. I hate you, Riku. I hate you and I hate Roxas and I –"
"It wasn't Roxas' fault," Riku interrupted.
Sora rolled his eyes. "It takes two to tango," he stated coldly.
"No, listen. I… I get you're angry at me, but… but I initiated everything with Roxas. I pushed him, Sora, and I… I know you don't want to hear it!" He reached out and placed his hands on the brunet's shoulders. "But I don't want you to go around hating Roxas! I told him that if he just… if he would just be with me once, I would stop harassing him. I –"
He didn't want to hear it. He didn't want to hear this. And before he knew what he was doing, he had struck Riku with his English textbook.
To be fair, Sora had warned him.
••••••••••••••
The last week of school had been unbearable and Sora, who had been suspended for hitting Riku, seemed to be faring better than Roxas and Riku. The brunet wasn't completely convinced that his brother had little to do with Riku's cheating, but he didn't want to talk about it. He had been wholly ignoring Roxas to the point where he just acted like his twin wasn't around. He pretended like Roxas didn't exist. Sora didn't want to scream because if he screamed, he would cry and someone like Riku didn't deserve to be cried over.
Kairi had been faithfully by Sora's side and she had done her part to make Roxas feel as horrible as possible. She, too, had taken to pretending he didn't exist and Naminé, afraid of being treated like Roxas, also joined in on the quadruplet's ousting. She knew she was just as guilty as Roxas, but she didn't want anyone else to know. She never asked to be a part of this and she felt it somewhat unfair to be punished for something that had been shoved onto her.
Riku had stopped talking to Roxas, too. He had completely erased the blond from his life and his attempts to get Sora back went wholly unnoticed by the hurt brunet.
It was a month into summer and Roxas, who had spent most of his days in solitary confinement (and not by choice), had escaped from his house one hot afternoon. His mother was away on one of her business trips and she had been conveniently busy or just not around ever since Riku and Roxas had been found out. Of course she knew. How could she not? But Roxas hadn't been the one to tell her. He hadn't spoken to her in months. She, too, seemed to be ignoring him like his siblings.
He made his way over toward the high school, toward the sea salt ice cream vendor. He had stopped trying to contact Riku only a week ago. It was painfully obvious that even though Riku shouldered all the blame, he was angry with Roxas. It was clear that the only quadruplet he wanted anything to do with was Sora.
Roxas refrained from pointing out that Riku should've made that decision earlier.
With his sea salt ice cream in hand, Roxas made his way over to the bleachers at the high school football field. He was glad school was out for the summer, but he was terrified of what would happen when the fall rolled around. How long were his siblings going to treat him this way? How long was it going to take for his mother to admit she had been wrong? A sigh escaped his lips as he reached the top of the bleachers and sat. The sun was setting in the distance and his sea salt ice cream had already begun to melt.
As he sat by himself, he suddenly realized how unhappy he was. He suddenly realized how bad he felt. He suddenly realized that he never should've done anything with Riku, that he never should've abused Sora's trust like that. He also realized how incredibly alone he was without the comfort of his family.
Not even his mother wanted to be there for him and she was the one who had told him this was the right thing to do. But now he and Riku weren't together. Now Riku was just trying to do everything in his power to get Sora back. This hadn't worked out at all and now his mother was just… gone.
"Hey, Roxy!"
He jumped, startled, when Axel came and took a seat next to him. He had his own sea salt ice cream and he was looking just as happy as always.
"Haven't talked to you at all this year! Maybe we're only meant to be pals during the summer time…" he mused thoughtfully. His tongue darted out to lick at his ice cream and his eyes fell to Roxas' hand. "You know your ice cream is melting." He pointed out. "Might want to – Roxy?"
The blond looked extremely upset, on the verge of tears, and Axel frowned.
"Hey…" He put a hand on the blonde's shoulder. "Are you okay?"
He dropped his ice cream to his feet and he threw his arms around Axel. He buried his face against the other's chest and the tears were in his eyes before he could stop them. The redhead was used to this by now and he didn't mind. He never minded. He just patted and rubbed the other's back and told him that whatever it was that was bothering him would eventually go away.
They stayed that way for a long time. Roxas with his face buried against Axel's chest and Axel merely happy to be in the other's company even if it was during a bad time. He had finished his ice cream a while ago and he was content on chewing the little wooden stick.
"Are we friends?"
Roxas hadn't said anything in such a long time, Axel wasn't sure if he had heard right.
"Huh?" the redhead asked. "What's that?"
"Are we friends?" Roxas repeated. He pulled his face away from Axel's chest and he looked up at the redhead with his wide, beautiful blue eyes.
Axel laughed and he squeezed the other close. "We'll always be friends, Roxy." He was momentarily surprised when Roxas stuck his pinkie out and wiggled it at him. "Um…"
"Pinkie promise?"
Axel smiled and latched his pinkie around Roxas' own. "Pinkie promise."
A/N: Holy shit! I managed to bang this out (hah bang) in no time and I even got it beta-edited (woohoo! Thank you, Aindel S. Druida for reading over 29,000 words. What a trooper!).
Chapter 9 is almost all written too. I also managed to write a 16,000 word Christmas one-shot about Demyx and Zexion. Holy crap! 16,000 words? My eyes are still bleeding. But hooray for Zemyx! Hooray for holidays! Hooray for ridiculous amounts of writing taking place over the course of Christmas break! Hooray for progress!
Let me say something else:
Dear Avid Readers,
I really, really appreciate everyone's analysis of the story. Analysis is one of the finer parts about reading and I love how everyone has an opinion about something that's occurring within the story. Please do not stop doing this.
Love, FK
Chapter 9 will be posted soon (erm like… beginning of January and I mean it this time). Thank you for reading. Thank you for reviewing. Thank you for favoriting. Thank you for alerting.
Thank you, again, Aindel S. Druida for being a fabulous editor. She is also a fabulous writer so please check out her stories!
Merry Christmas (err… Happy Holidays), dear readers.
Thank You for Reviewing:
Toastyoats: I know the feeling. Trying to find a half decent story is synonymous with playing hide and seek with an invisible man. You might find him, but it's probably going to take a while. I'm glad I could make this nice and easy for you. I'm also glad I could make you gurgle. That's hot. :]
TheAnnoyingVoice: This chapter isn't too humorous either. I find that I have to be manic to write humor and depressed to write drama. Seldom do I get a concoction that fits both. Hence this chapter's lack of humor too. Argh!
I have to say your reviews are awesome. You always have so much to say which is fantastic. Also, you're generally spot-on with what you say. I read your reviews and I go "YES. OH MY GOSH. THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS TRYING TO SAY!" and it makes me want to pat you on the back for making me feel super.
Writing the RikuxRoxas flashback scenes are lots of fun. I would love to do more 'aww-worthy' stuff between Axel and Roxas, but I don't want to do something that puts a hitch in the plot later on. I also want the moment Axel and Roxas get together to be satisfying. It's a slow build up, but once it happens it's appreciated much more than it would have been.
I haaate making Riku seem like a pimp. I also feel like because his parents weren't there for him (or had no control over him), he kind of has a certain longing for the loving touch of a mother and the strong hand of a father. I think, on some level, Riku wants someone to tell him what to do. I think he likes being bossed around a little bit (but not a lot. I think a lot of bossing him around would just irritate him).
I looked into the Demyx x Zexion pairing and I really like it. I like it so much more than Axel x Demyx. :] They are super cute together and now I'm really excited to push them together. Again, though, I have to be patient so I don't ruin my plot building. Argh, plot! Speaking of… I think Leon is going to have a nice chunk of space in chapter 10. Zexion drops some vital information about Leon so I think it's time he shows back up.
Usuilove21: Argh! I hate it when I write something I really don't like, but then I feel the need to post it anyway. Some of the chapters of this story still leave me going "ehh, I could've changed this or that…" but I guess that's just one of the challenges of writing online. Once it's up, it's up, and your plot can't deviate much from what you've already said. I hope your study of French and Japanese are going well. Anyone who tries to better themselves by learning another language is my kind of friend.
Bruised anatomy: Aww. You're so cute. I love this review to pieces. At first I thought this was a grammar critique because I was REALLY unsure about all those commas in the first sentence (still really unsure about them), but then it wasn't. It was just the cutest review ever. :]
Reku14: I changed the plot somewhat. I've decided to take a different route with the whole Roxas-Mom thing. I mulled it over for a while and came upon the conclusion that Roxas' bad behavior would be better explained if he and his mom were… Well, you'll see.
Yea. Roxas is one of my favorites too. I'm still tinkering with the Roxas-Riku relationship. It's fun to use them to create drama, but I really don't want them to be hated anymore than they already are.
The Moon's Berserk: Why Roxas hates Axel is definitely going to be coming up in Chapter 9. I was writing the flashback scenes and I was like "you know… why DOES Roxas hate Axel?" and I'm sure somewhere in the beginning it says "he hates Axel because Axel is a pompous douche" (which is true), but I'm going to have a much more concrete reason. I promise.
Vithian: I actually pushed this chapter out in part to appease you. :D So be appeased. And you're right. No good mom would tell her kid to steal her other kid's boyfriend. That's just all sorts of fucked up. You pose a good point about Kairi. Hahahaha. I like your thought process.
Jezzaanne: Thank you. The personalities are difficult. I'm always super unsure about them because I read other stories where Roxas is naïve (and usually really stupid which… I don't get) and Axel is like "hey kids! Wanna get raped? Come with meeeee!" and I… have to wonder if maybe, somewhere down the line, I totally misread Axel. I'm more of a fan of Axel x Roxas too. The Axel x Demyx is in there for plot reasons.
Axel's fables are actually going to be a big deal soon. And not in the "oh, yay, Axel gets published" kind of big deal, but in the "I hate you so much. Take your fables and shove them up your butt" kind of deal. You can take a guess at who's telling him to shove his fables up his bum (hint: It's not Roxas). Enjoy the mystery!
And hey! Thank you! Merry Christmas to you too!
Blah: I'm… actually having this same problem too. I really only feel badly for Naminé. It makes it really hard to write for everyone else because I wanna tell everyone else to go suck a fuck.
Aindel S. Druida: Yaaay. You get to read more words. Sorry for making you read so much. I probably owe you some kind of compensation for your next eye appointment with your neighborhood eye doctor.
On the upside, yes. This will all happen in due time. It wouldn't be a mock fairy tale if it didn't have that good old fashioned "happily ever after."
iLoli: The fables are a bitch to write. It's the shortness of them that gets me. I suck at explaining things in only a few sentences. And you're not reading too much into it. You're hitting the nail on the head, dear reader.
Foxzees: BAHAHAHAHA. I love this review. It reminds me of that Korean movie called The Host. Freakish things do come out of polluted water. And sure – fire away. I love suggestions and ideas. I notice people give them to me constantly without meaning too and it's just great.
StarzXAndXMoon: You're totally right. I hadn't really noticed the connection until I started writing the flashbacks. Roxas IS the other women in Axel and Demyx's relationship just like he was in Riku and Sora's. Funny how history repeats itself.
Writing this story is actually quite a bit of fun. However, this is one of those few times I find myself rewriting every single chapter two to four times over. That's pretty awful.
JustSayNoToPants: There is a ridiculous amount of drama in this story. I'm not even really sure how to resolve all of it! There's so much going on and it's kind of… overwhelming. It also kind of makes you hate everyone involved. :P BUT YES – there is a major explosion lurking on the horizon. There's so much deceit going on here, so many secrets, and sososo many lies. There's definitely going to be a smack down (and I'm so excited!).
Catch the Stillicide: I love your pseudonym. I don't know why, but I really like it a lot.
I hope your head doesn't explode when I give a little more life to the quadruplet's mother. She's pretty awful and you'll see the last of her in Chapter 9. And yes – Roxas is a boyfriend stealer. It was completely unintentional to set up both stories that way. I didn't even notice that until I was writing the flashbacks and I was like "…wow, whoops." But I guess once a boyfriend stealer, always a boyfriend stealer? Roxas kind of strikes me as someone who only really wants something once he can't have it anymore.
I agree. Roxas is difficult to portray believably. I often find him in other stories as overly naïve and ready to cry at the tiniest instances. I actually try to be really careful about having Roxas cry because I think it's out of character for him. I think he's extremely stubborn and strong-willed and I think tears have to be forced out of him. I don't like the whole Roxas persona of "oh, he's so naïve and innocent and he'll pout and cry if he spills milk" because that just isn't true. Roxas would probably swear, clean it up, and then decide the milk is stupid and he just won't drink any at all.
Michi: Hahahaha. I love this review because I feel like I'm being patted on the back for making you feel all squirmy and uncomfortable. I have to say… I'm actually having a hard time making the Riku x Sora pairing work. I never meant to make it that way, but… ungh. I can't seem to undo it now. And I do want them to end up together in the end (this is supposed to be a mock fairytale), but I can't justify it. It does kind of seem like Riku was all "oh, you don't love me Roxas? Ugh, fine… Where's Sora?" and I really don't know how to make it… not like that. But I guess we'll see what happens. :]
Anonymoosefangirl: Yea. That would be really creepy. A room like that would be really bad for breaking dates back to. "Oh, hey, just push that box out of the way. That's my dead mother's old hair and toenail clippings." I don't think it's quite that bad in Roxas' room, but that would be… pretty bad.
: Aww. You're sweet. Thanks a lot. I'm still amazed that people actually read this thing in one sitting. Each chapter is like… 20-25 pages. I guess that's like a normal book, but… argh! That's so many words!
Xacilia: Woohoo! I don't enjoy the fairy tale reads either. I also don't enjoy the overly dark ones where all the horrible shit that COULD happen to someone actually does. If you want to play it dark, lighten it up with a bit of humor and a smile. I'm really glad you're just as happy as Axel. I try and convey everything so it's… powerful, I guess? So you can feel it and be just as uncomfortable as the characters in the story? I don't know. I feel like a lot of stories have zero emotion behind them and it bothers me. Part of what makes something good is the amount of emotion put into it.
Awww… Happy Holidays (Merry Christmas?) to you too.
Casaragi: I'm so glad you liked it! I'm also glad you decided to get some sleep! I've had people review before who have stayed up all night reading. That's cute, but then I feel badly for helping people not sleep.
Kiramizu: I've always seen Roxas as brooding. I never meant to make him out as a mama's boy, but somehow it happened. I think that kind of works for him though because he's all hard on the outside, but on the inside, he's all gooey with love (that sounds really gross). I'm glad you like the fables. They are ridiculously challenging to write. Aesop must've had a LOT of free time on his hands (which is… kind of ridiculous considering he was a slave).
Miyuki-ice-fox: I didn't know people talked about fan fiction with their friends. Then again, I didn't know people talked about books with their friends either unless it was required (like… an English assignment or a book club). I like how everyone is kind of split on the whole Roxas-Riku-Sora drama. Some people dislike all three of them, some think it's Riku's fault, some think it's Roxas' fault, and some think they're all just a bunch of sluts and whores. That's just the greatest.
Superkawaiifreak: Wow. This is like… the nicest review ever. It made me blush and it dissolved my fears of things I may be doing wrong. Given the length of each chapter, I'm forced to go "argh, is there too much going on?" and I'm mortified of leaving loose ends everywhere. I'm really bad at tying things together nicely. I really appreciate this review.
I think this is one of my only (or at least one of my very, very, very few) stories that isn't written in first person. I write in first person because I feel it's extremely hard to convey emotion effectively in third person. One of my biggest things about stories (fan fiction or just books in general) is feeling like the character does. I want the reader to feel Axel's embarrassment or Roxas' hopelessness or Riku's anxiety about Sora. I feel like it gives the story much more depth because then you're sort of… involved in it. You cease to be detached and become attached to the members of the story. That's really important in creating an effective atmosphere.
I find my voice is better left on paper. Matter-of-fact wittiness doesn't exactly play out well in real life because it comes off as douchebaggery. It's really hard not transferring the douchebaggery-ness to Axel or Roxas or Riku or Sora. Sometimes I just want Axel to be like "hey, yea. Go fuck yourself" but then I'm like "UGH. But he wouldn't do that to Roxas. Poop" and then it's rewrite-rewrite-rewrite until my fingers bleed. My grammar errors are usually caught by a beta, but you're right. I'm so spazzed out about getting the chapter out, I'm like "NO. BETA. GO AWAY."
I hope Gumption comes in strawberry flavor. Oh, wow, okay. Apparently gumption is a real word. Well, hot damn. I guess you learn something new every day. Thanks for reviewing, SKF, and thanks for making me feel absolutely splendid.
TheOneYouCallWe: Your eyes must be bleeding. Lucky you, an update came today! So hooray for more bleeding retinas! This story is FILLED to the brim with drama. What's ridiculous is I seem to be in the same boat as everyone else. I hate Roxas, but then I feel bad for him and then I'm totally fucked up about how I feel about Riku. I'm the author. I shouldn't feel that way. I should know my own plot well enough to know the redemption song for each character. But I don't. Because I'm lazy. ]: