Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story. At all.
Warning: Shounen-ai, homosexual relationships, etc, etc.
Author's Note: Hooooraaaay!
11,000 words. Please stop reading if your eyes begin to bleed.
Summary: Axel thinks Aesop taught decent lessons in his fables, but the redhead is willing to bet he could do better. What good are fables that teach things like "attempt not impossibilities" or "little friends may prove great friends" anyway? Times are different from when Aesop lived and Axel thinks it's time for a new set of fables. All of which will be authored by himself, of course, because he's an expert on love, life, and what truly matters.
That, and Roxas Badcock promised to marry him if he gets his book published.
Axel's Fables
•••
•••
By: Freekiwi
IX – He Receives the Bad News
Things didn't get much better as the summer progressed. Roxas, who had been looking forward to spending time with Axel, was somewhat heartbroken to learn the redhead was going out to California for most of the summer to meet up with his real mom. He had said something about how Roxas had sparked his interest and he kind of wanted to know who she was.
Roxas hoped she was every bit as nice as Axel. He didn't want the older boy to come back feeling badly and hating Roxas just as much as everyone else seemed to.
His mother had finally returned home in mid-August and before she even had time to unpack her things, Roxas was upon her. Normally they would talk on the phone when she was on business and whenever she was around, she would spend the majority of her time with him. However she had been doing her best to avoid Roxas and he noticed it.
But now she was home and he had his chance to pounce. So he went into her room, sat on the edge of her bed, and watched as she removed her jewelry from her ears, her neck, her wrists, and fingers. She pulled her hair out of the bun it had been it and watched as it cascaded about her shoulders. There was something different about her. Something Roxas didn't like.
"Mom."
She didn't respond.
"Mom, I need to talk to you."
She sighed gently.
"Mom!" Roxas growled.
"Oh, Roxas, can't it wait?" she asked. "I just got home and I'd like to relax before we deal with the drama that seems to always plague your life."
He was stung by her words. Stung by the fact that she had just called him Roxas instead of Roxy and stung that she seemed bothered by what he might have to say. He gripped the blanket on the edge of the bed and shifted uncomfortably in his spot.
"It can't wait," he said evenly.
"Goodness." She sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. "What is it? If you're here to tell me about what you did to your brother's relationship –"
"What I did?" he yelled.
"Don't interrupt!" she yelled back.
Roxas' eyes went wide. She had never even so much as taken a harsh tone with him before and now… And now this. He swallowed thickly and tried to keep his composure. He didn't like where this was going, but he had no one to talk to. She had always been his rock and now she was… She was crumbling beneath him.
"Sora has already explained to me what's occurred. I can't say I'm totally surprised given Riku's character, but you... To say the least, I'm shocked."
"You told me to intervene!" he cried.
She laughed mirthlessly. "I said no such thing."
Roxas' mouth fell open in shock and he tried to form a sentence, but he couldn't. He couldn't even manage a single word as she stood there, as ugly as he had ever seen her, with her face hard and her arms crossed looking just as deadly as his siblings.
"I never expected you to wreck their relationship. It's perfectly okay to be jealous, Roxas, but it's something entirely different to go and throw yourself at your brother's boyfriend. Do you not think of anyone but yourself?"
Roxas stared.
"Honestly, I thought I raised you better. I'm not surprised that your siblings are all treating you this way. Did you really think things would work out between yourself and Riku? Were you really so stupid to think that he wasn't just using you?" she asked coldly.
"B-but…" His mouth had gone very dry. "But you said –"
"Roxas, I will not tolerate your stories."
He was stunned. He was completely stunned and he was searching his memory for all the talks they had. In the park, in her room, when she had been sweet and loving… Those memories were there in his head, but they seemed to be gone from her mind.
"Please leave," she barked. "I would like to relax."
He was too shocked to say or do much else. He was too hurt to do anything but leave and it was only when he left that he realized she had used him. For what, he didn't know, but she had used him and now he really was alone. He was separated from his siblings, his mother, his disinterested father…
It was now Roxas also realized he couldn't place partial blame on his mother.
So he did something else. He did something rash and something stupid. He ran to his and Sora's room and told Sora that Naminé knew. That Naminé knew everything. He told Sora that she had walked in on him and Riku and she decided not to tell.
He sold Naminé out and he didn't know why.
••••••••••••••
School had begun again and the only change that had occurred was now Naminé was an outsider like Roxas. It was Sora and Kairi together and then Roxas and then Naminé. Their mother, who Roxas had become extremely wary of, had gone back to her sweet looks, her sweet words, and general sweet way. He didn't want to fall prey so he ignored her as best he could and tried to concentrate on something else, something different.
Axel had come back from California with a tan, a smile, and photographs of himself with his mom. She looked just like him. She had the same red hair, the same smile, and the same gorgeous jade eyes. They even had the same kind of build and Axel had been rather excited to show Roxas the photographs one day after school.
"Was she nice?" Roxas asked as Axel watched him flip through the stack of photos.
"Yea, she's great."
"Did she tell you why she gave you up?"
Axel shrugged. "Crack."
Roxas looked startled. "She gave you up for crack?"
"No, no," the redhead said quickly. "Social services took me because she was doing crack. She's clean now." Axel laughed a little bit and took the stack of photos from Roxas when he offered them back. He didn't realize it, but the blond had opted to keep one of the pictures. Just one of Axel standing on the beach, shirtless and grinning and holding a surfboard.
"How was your summer?" Axel asked as he slipped the photos into his shoulder bag. He began to walk to his car and Roxas followed. "Must've been pretty boring without me," he teased.
Roxas shrugged. "A little," he admitted. "But it…" He didn't know what to say. Should he tell Axel it was awful? Tell him it was the most horrible summer he'd ever experienced? Share every little detail and secret with the redhead?
No.
No. They were just friends. Barely friends at that and Roxas didn't think it appropriate to burden Axel with his horror stories.
"It…?" the redhead asked in an attempt to coax it out of Roxas.
"Uh, sorry. It was just… It was okay…"
Axel frowned. "What happened?"
"Nothing, I… I just… Guy trouble," he concluded.
"Is it that Riku guy again?" He frowned. "That guy is such a douche. I swear –"
"Don't worry about it," Roxas interrupted. "He's not worth the trouble…"
Axel rolled his eyes, but let the subject drop. He knew Riku and Roxas hated each other and it never occurred to him to ask why. He was just happy to accept the fact that the blond wasn't infatuated with someone else. Axel liked him and knowing there was no competition made him feel better about how little they talked or hung out.
"Give me a ride home?" Roxas asked once they reached Axel's car. He didn't want to ride the bus with his siblings.
"Roxy," Axel purred, "what kind of man would I be if I didn't give you a ride?"
"You'd be a man with one less friend."
Roxas smiled. Axel felt his heart beat uncomfortably in his chest.
••••••••••••••
He knew it was a terrible idea, but that didn't stop him from executing his plan of attack. Roxas had spent the last three or four weeks sulking and his usual air of playfulness seemed to have disappeared. Axel assumed his behavior was because of Riku and the sadder Roxas acted, the angrier Axel found himself getting. It wasn't Roxas that was bothering him. It was the fact that it was clearly Riku that was causing him to act so unlike himself.
"Why do you care?" Axel asked one day before school. They were sitting in the common area waiting for the first bell to ring so they could go to class.
"I don't know," Roxas mumbled. "I don't want to care. He just… He bothers me."
They both watched as Riku walked by them. He didn't glance at either of them, but it was clear he was doing his best to ignore at least Roxas. He was staring straight ahead like a robot, his eyes transfixed on nothing, and when he walked past Sora and Kairi, he greeted their mean, accusing looks with saddened eyes.
Roxas sighed.
"Ooh," Axel said. "I get it."
"Get what?" He frowned.
"He did something to your brother? Or your sister? Is that why you hate him? Is that why he hates you? I remember last year when you guys were in that fistfight."
Roxas looked away. "Not… Not exactly…"
Axel raised a brow and Roxas pretended not to notice the look he was being given. The first bell rang and the blond muttered "see you later" before quickly disappearing into a crowd of students. This was getting ridiculous. Axel couldn't let all this go unpunished.
He was going to kick Riku's ass. There was no time to come up with some awesome form of revenge or some excellent, well-crafted comeback. In this case, violence was the most effective and quickest form of retribution. Once Riku was beaten, Roxas would go back to acting normal.
He knew what lunch period Riku had and he made the decision to skip class to seek the other boy out. Obviously, this kid did something to rub Roxas the wrong way. Axel was generally extremely indirect about his anger, but this was different. He wasn't angry, Roxas was. This act of violence was completely justified.
Riku stood at his locker, shoving textbooks into it when Axel approached him. He was going to beat Riku down. He was going to bust this guy's face up. He was going to make him sorry he ever –
"Hey, cool. We're wearing the same shirt," Riku stated amicably. He had closed his locker door and turned around and Axel, who had been scheming various ways to punch his face in, hadn't noticed him standing there until he had spoken.
"What?"
"Our shirts." Riku grabbed the edges of his shirt and pulled it down somewhat so the design stretched. "We're both wearing Vampire Weekend shirts. Are you going to their show next month?"
Axel stared. They were wearing the same shirt and he was going to the show next month. He paused and immediately began to debate whether or not he should knock this guy's lights out.
"Uh… If you're going, we should go together. It'll be fun."
Free ride to a concert? Fuck it. He'd kick Riku's ass after the concert.
"Yea, that sounds great." Axel smiled. "I'm Axel." He extended his hand for the other to shake.
"Yea, I know." Riku shook his hand. "I'm Riku… You're Roxas' friend, right?"
How was Axel supposed to know they would become best friend?
••••••••••••••
By December first Roxas had become fed up with his siblings and their total lack of care for him. His mother, who refused to talk about Riku and Roxas' relationship, had tried other ways to connect with her son, but he was now fearful of her. He was scared of what she might do next. She had abused his trust and now he was afraid to say anything to her.
He tried to talk to Naminé about this, but she ignored him. She had listened (or, well, she had sat there drawing while Roxas talked), which was more than Kairi or Sora had done. They usually got up and left the room when Roxas came in. The blond would sometimes wonder how Riku was faring against the silent treatment.
It had really annoyed him to find out Riku and Axel were friends. Not just friends, but best friends and Roxas had stopped spending so much time with Axel, generally because Riku was around. He wasn't sure why the older boy had befriended Axel, but Roxas was pretty sure it had very little to do with himself. Riku and Roxas weren't anything anymore. Not even people who knew each other.
"I'm leaving tomorrow…" she said. "Will you miss me?"
Roxas leaned against the wall in her bedroom and didn't say anything. Her suitcase was on the bed and she was going away on a long business trip. She wouldn't be back until the 22nd or so and Roxas tried not to let this bother him. His mother was not the person he had once adored. She was some kind of snake. Some kind of wolf in sheep's clothing.
"Roxy?" She pushed a few clothes into place in her suitcase and frowned. "When will you stop being so angry?"
"When you stop pretending like you didn't tell me to go after Riku," he answered coldly.
Her eyes went somewhat wide and she rounded on him. "I told you we weren't going to talk about that anymore."
"Why?" he asked. "Why would you say those things to me if –"
"Stop it," she snapped. "It does not matter what happened. The point is simply this: you did something awful to your brother. Regardless of what I said, you acted of your own free will. I did not force you or make you. I merely said what I thought would be best and if you chose to take my advice, then all the blame falls on you."
Roxas' stared at her. She was repugnant. All the make-up, all the jewels, all the clothing and stylish hair… Nothing could make her beautiful. She was rotten to the core and Roxas found this frightening. She was abusing him. She was using him. She was turning this all around on him and he didn't know how to make it stop.
"Now that the blame has been appropriately placed, will you stop being so difficult and go back to being my favorite?"
This infuriated him and before he could stop himself the words were out of his mouth.
"You're a bitch!"
She struck him hard across the face and then grabbed his shoulders. "You will not speak to me that way, Roxas. Maybe I've spoiled you. Maybe you never should have been the favorite. You –"
"I hate you."
She looked hurt. Her grip on his shoulders slackened and then she released him completely. She brushed a bit of hair back from her face and she was blushing. His mother was embarrassed.
"I'm sorry you feel that way," she mumbled.
Roxas was angry. He was so angry about everything that had happened. About his mother and her betrayal of his trust, about Riku and Sora, about what he had done to Sora, about Axel and Riku becoming friends… He was so angry and this was all her fault. Everything could be traced back to her and her games.
"No, I mean it," he spat. "I hate you. I hate you so much. You did this to me and now… now everyone hates me. My siblings hate me, Riku hates me, you obviously… I don't think you even care enough to hate me…" He took a shaky breath. "I hope you don't come back."
She fingered her necklace nervously and when she spoke, her voice sounded strained. "That's… That's fine. You're entitled to feel any which way you want."
Roxas met her eyes and she quickly looked away. Her fingers fell away from her neck and she clasped her hands together. He stared at her, waited for her to apologize or at least show some sign of remorse, but nothing happened. They stood there, locked in silence, until Roxas sighed and removed himself from her room.
How could she be such a monster? How?
••••••••••••••
Before she left to go to the airport, she had gone into Roxas and Sora's room. It was five in the morning and her flight left out at seven. She crept into the dark room and made her way quietly over to Roxas' bed.
"Roxy…" she whispered and then gave him a small shake.
He opened his eyes and felt overwhelmed when he saw her above him.
"I love you," she whispered.
Roxas didn't say anything.
"You… you really are my favorite."
He turned his back to her and ignored the horrible, awful shame that dripped down his chest and into his stomach. He shut his eyes tight and gripped his blankets to him and he heard her sigh softly before pressing a kiss to his head.
"There are things you don't understand. I hope you can forgive me."
Maybe he could, but the time certainly wasn't now. She breathed another soft sigh and then left the room just as quietly as she had come in. Had he known this was the last time he was going to see her, things would've been different. Had he known she wasn't going to come back he would have forgiven her on the spot and reclaimed his place as her son.
As the favorite.
How could he be such a monster? How?
••••••••••••••
"Happy New Year."
Zexion yawned and glanced at the watch on his wrist. It was exactly midnight on December 31st and he and Demyx had chosen to spend the New Year holiday together. They had both gone to their respective homes for Christmas, but made a promise to come back early so they could spend time together. Demyx had barely spoken to Axel. He had sent him an ominous "we need to talk after break" text before the holiday and Axel had merely responded "yea, I figured."
Demyx didn't know what had happened. Zexion refused to say and he continued to deny the existence of anything going on between Axel and Roxas. He had also refused to talk about it with his blond best friend. It was just a subject that didn't sit well with him.
"I hate peanut M&M's…" Zexion mumbled as he watched Demyx put one in his mouth and suck on it.
"Why?" the musician asked. They were seated on Demyx's bed, the television on mute, and all the lights off. "Is it the peanut?"
"No," Zexion replied. "It's the M&M part. I don't like the candy coating or the chocolate."
Demyx stared. "…How do you not like chocolate?"
Zexion shrugged. "I'm not a fan of sweets."
The blond took the peanut from his mouth. He had sucked all the candy coating and chocolate off it and he offered it to Zexion who just kind of looked at him. He seemed to be stuck between disgust and fascination and Demyx was smiling like a cat that had just killed a bird as a gift for its owner.
"Eat it. It's just the peanut. I got rid of the nasty stuff."
Zexion's eyes narrowed a little. "But it was in your mouth. And now it's covered in your spit."
Demyx shrugged. "You used to chew gum after me."
"Yes, and you purposefully gave me the flu because you didn't want to be sick by yourself."
The blond sighed. "I'm not sick. Just eat it."
Zexion debated this for a few moments. He sincerely doubted the peanut was harboring some horrible disease and he had a feeling it would taste better after it had been in his best friend's mouth. Things always tasted better to Zexion after they had been in Demyx's mouth. He didn't know why and all logic and reason told him it was his imagination, but that didn't stop him from eating or drinking after Demyx. It didn't stop him from sharing lollipops with Demyx.
He reached out and plucked the peanut from his best friend's hand. He hesitantly put it in his mouth and sucked on it briefly before crunching it and deciding that it did taste much better than an average M&M peanut. It tasted…
"Well?" Demyx smiled.
"It tastes like your mouth," Zexion concluded. "Mm, actually, it tastes more like… If you had eaten a spoonful of peanut butter and then kissed me."
"Sounds delicious," he replied.
They sat there for a moment in silence just staring at each other and enjoying one another's presence. This was the first time in a long time Demyx wasn't heavily distracted by Axel. This was the first time Zexion had seem his best friend really happy. He didn't know what Axel did to Demyx, but whatever it was, it was awful.
"Hey." Demyx broke the silence between them and proceeded to lay his head in Zexion's lap. "Tell me you love me."
The shorter boy immediately reached down and began brushing Demyx's blond hair from his face. He was so handsome, so charming, and worth so much more than Axel would ever know. The world was so unfair sometimes. Here Zexion was, dying to be with his best friend and then there was Axel, selfish with two blond, blue-eyed boys hanging off his arms.
"I love you." Zexion brushed his fingers gently against Demyx's cheek. "I love you so much, Demy."
Demyx wasn't really sure how or why it happened. He just sat up and kissed Zexion. He just sat up and made their lips lock. He just locked eyes with the other and knew that they should kiss, that they should be intimate, that they should be more than just friends. Because no one had told Demyx "I love you" the way Zexion did. No one had ever meant it more deeply than Zexion.
Their tongues collided. Demyx pushed his slate haired friend down onto the bed and slipped his hands underneath his t-shirt. He felt Zexion's hands tangle in his hair and yank, gently, at the blond locks. Every touch of their tongues sent an electric shock through Demyx's body. Every yank of hair, every tender touch, every soft moan of his name… It caused the blonde's hair to stand on end. It caused goose bumps to line his skin.
"Your boyfriend…" Demyx heard Zexion breathe as he kissed and nipped a fine line all along his neck. "A-Axel…"
"Jeez…" He stopped his musings just long enough to remove his shirt and toss it somewhere onto the floor. "You hate Axel and yet you're worried about him?"
Zexion looked at Demyx and remembered that his best friend deserved someone better than Axel. He slipped his arms around the blonde's neck and yanked him down for a hot, sloppy kiss. A kiss that Demyx couldn't help but laugh into because seeing Zexion kind of furious while also hot and bothered made him smile.
"I'm just worried about you," Zexion answered honestly. "I don't want you to feel badly in the morning. I don't want our friendship to be ruined –"
"Nothing could ruin what we have, Zexy."
The intensity with which Demyx looked at him made Zexion believe every word that came out of his perfect mouth.
••••••••••••••
"Jesus. This is harder than it looks…" Axel gripped the controller in his hand and tried to carefully follow what the woman on the TV screen was doing. He tried to follow the ridiculous dance moves, the beat of the ridiculous song, and the harder he tried to be fluid, the more points he lost. "Goddamnit. How the fuck are you managing this?" He glanced over at Riku and his expression turned sour when he realized his best friend had almost 3,000 points more than he did.
"Just follow the beat." Riku swung his hips. "Be as gay as possible. Shouldn't be too hard for you."
Axel shoved Riku and smiled in victory when the other's score dropped somewhat. "Gay as Possible Axel wants you to know that he doesn't like losing and that he'll resort to cheating to win."
Riku's eyes narrowed and he shoved Axel back.
"You dick! I'm already losing!" The redhead stumbled, but tried to quickly regain his composure. Why he had said "okay" when Riku asked him if he wanted to play Just Dance, he didn't know. He was horrible at this. He had never considered himself a bad dancer, but this game was definitely saying different.
"Well, Gay as Possible Riku doesn't like cheaters."
"Oh, the irony…"
Both stopped dancing and turned their attention to Roxas. He was standing in the doorway, his thin frame leaned against the wall, and he had his arms crossed over his chest. He looked better. When he had left, he had been somewhat of a mess. But now he was back to his normal behavior, his normal routine, and his normal treatment of the people around him. He seemed to be at least trying to play nice. Axel had noticed a difference anyway.
"Want to play?" Axel slipped the controller from his wrist and practically threw it at Roxas. "Cheeseburger thinks he's the Queen of Dance."
"Okay, first of all, fuck you," Riku growled. "Second of all, I am the Queen of Dance. I can't help it that your dancing style involves rubbing your crotch on some prepubescent kid's ass in some skank-o night club."
"There's some information I could've gone the rest of my life without knowing…" Roxas mumbled as he slipped the controller onto his wrist and walked over to Riku. "What do you do?"
"Just follow the moves on screen," he explained. "A third grader could do it."
"That explains Axel's trouble."
The redhead slouched back into the couch and gave both of them dirty looks. His arms crossed over his chest and he watched as they picked a song (after a few moments of arguing) and began to dance. They were pretty evenly matched. Both of them could manage to score around the same points, but there was something in the way Roxas danced that sparked Axel's interest.
His body was much more fluid than Riku's own. He was able to swing his hips without moving his upper body in the same circular motion. He was able to follow the beat perfectly. He could dance and Axel wanted to take full advantage of this at some point.
"I didn't know Zombies could dance," Axel said from the couch.
"You should see him and Sora dance together. That's nice," Riku stated.
Roxas gave the older boy a disgusted look, "You're gross."
"Okay, fine." He rolled his eyes. "You should not see him and Sora dance together. It's nasty and weird."
Roxas glared. "You're a dick."
"Yea, I've heard that."
Axel laughed and watched as both boys continued to follow the patterns on screen. Winter break seemed to be the perfect medicine for everyone in the duplex. Roxas' behavior toward Axel had been different. He seemed more intent on being the redhead's friend over his boyfriend. His bouts of sadness or irritation were more controlled. There was no "leave me alone" or "go away," but something closer to "I'm really not feeling well today. Can we talk later?"
It was odd. Axel had been caught off guard by it, but he knew better than to question it. Roxas was trying. That's what mattered.
••••••••••••••
"I really don't feel like I should be tagging along."
"You're not," Axel insisted. "You work at the bakery. You're going in to… count muffins or something."
Riku sighed and shook his head. He and Axel walked through the foot of snow with their hands in the pockets of their winter coats. They had scarves wrapped around their necks, snow boots on their feet, and hats on their heads. The snow had been relentless and it showed no signs of letting up. Even when it wasn't snowing, the sky was overcast and the temperature was well below freezing. Axel hated the snow. He wasn't fond of cold weather to begin with.
"Demyx wants to have a private chat with you. Don't you think me going along will upset him?" Riku asked.
"Not as much as Roxas tagging along."
"Axel." Riku stopped in his tracks and heard the redhead sighed loudly. "Demyx probably knows about you and Roxas. Hasn't that occurred to you?"
"Yea!" he answered honestly. "Why do you think I want you to come along? I'm going to need someone to carry me home after Demyx castrates me with a –"
A snowball exploded into pieces when it collided with the side of Axel's face. Riku was torn between looking shocked and laughing. Small bits of snow dripped down the redhead's face and neck and the melted water mingled with the fabric of his red scarf. He reached up, wiped the majority of the snow from his face, and then glared hotly at Riku.
"What the hell, Cheeseburger?"
Riku didn't answer. He was caught in a fit of laughter, but his laughter quickly ended when he, too, was pelted with a snowball. He looked every bit as pissed as Axel and he reached up and wiped the icy mess from his face. Both boys looked at each other and then immediately began to look around for who had assaulted them.
"Sora and Roxas maybe?" Riku asked as he bent down and began to scoop up snow and ice.
"No," Axel said as he mimicked his best friend's actions. "This has Zexion and Demyx written all over it."
"Oh, Jesus Ch—" He was cut off when another snowball was lobbed at him. This one hit him square in the face.
Axel stood. He gripped the snowball tightly in his hand and ignored the mumbled curse words that left Riku's lips as he wiped the snow from his face. His face was red from being hit. He looked extremely mad and when he stood, he threw a snowball, hard, at Axel.
The redhead glared as the snow hit his shoulder and broke into pieces. "I'm on your side, Cheeseburger!"
"This is your fault!" He reached down and scooped up more snow. "I'm out in this horrible weather being pelted with snowballs because you and your stupid boyfriend have problems!"
Axel looked extremely indignant. "Are you serious? I've gotten the backend of everyone's shit because you and Roxas and Sora can't manage to just be honest with each other and work things out! I barely know anything about your history and, somehow, I keep ending up –"
Riku silenced him with a snowball. "How ironic. The guy cheating on his boyfriend is telling me to be honest."
There was a momentary pause between them; a second where they locked eyes and stood there glaring at one another. And then Axel tackled Riku into the snow. He had no real intention of hurting his best friend. Axel wasn't really someone who solved his problems by hitting. Granted, Riku would deserve it. Being pelted with snowballs was one thing, but being stuck in a house with three boys and a giant elephant was so much worse.
"At least I can keep a boyfriend!" Axel yelled. He gripped the front of Riku's jacket and glared at his best friend. "You can't even be friends with Sora without massive dram –"
Shock crossed both their features. Riku had just struck Axel. The worst fight they had ever been in was way back when they had first moved into the duplex. They had never been in a fistfight though. They barely made physical contact with each other unless it was in a playful manner. Blood dripped from Axel's nose and Riku, still underneath the redhead, just stared.
"Oh my God. I'm so sorry. I didn't –"
Axel didn't care. He raised his fist and began to strike the other. He had been provoked. Hitting was now justified. It didn't matter that it was Riku, his best friend, underneath him. It didn't matter that it was Riku's blood staining his white mittens. It didn't matter that they were in the snow, spreading their blood everywhere and fighting like kids still in high school.
Axel was momentarily surprised when their positions suddenly switched and Riku was on top of him and beating him up. He had always been taller, a little more athletic, a little more intimidating… Riku had always been the Robin to his Batman because Axel had always been a little more developed. But now here they were, Riku asserting his dominance over Axel. Riku showing Axel he was stronger.
"Shut up!" Riku yelled. "You don't know anything about me or Sora!" He had stopped hitting because Axel's face looked good and bloody. He gripped the redhead's coat and yanked him up slightly. "Just stop messing up my life! Stop dragging me into your problems!"
The redhead swatted his best friend's hands away from him and then reached up to wipe away the blood on his face. He mistakenly just spread the blood and tears immediately filled his eyes when he touched the bridge of his nose. Was it broken? Had Riku successfully managed to land a punch dire enough to fuck up his nose?
"I'm serious, Axel!" he yelled. "I'm sick and tired of you!"
He reached up and shoved Riku roughly off him. Axel stood immediately and spit blood into the snow.
"Now you're just not going to say anything?" Riku yelled as his stood up. He wiped the snow from his pants and ignored the swelling that was taking place under his right eye.
"What do you want me to say?" the redhead yelled. He reached out and grabbed the front of his best friend's jacket. "I can't even defend myself! It doesn't matter whose fault it is because, somehow, I'm the one that keeps getting shit for it!" Axel pushed him and watched, with some pleasure, as Riku stumbled and fell backward into the snow.
Riku didn't bother getting back up. He stared up at Axel, his aqua eyes searching for something in his best friend's bloodied face.
"If anyone is sick and tired, it's me, Riku."
He flinched at the sound of his own name. Seldom did Axel call him that. It was always 'Cheeseburger' or 'Faggot' or 'Dickbag' or some other kind of name that should have offended him, but just didn't. Just the way Axel said it, the way he smiled and teased, made Riku want to pretend to be angry just so he could continue to play Axel's game.
They stared at each other. The silence was near deafening. The snow began to fall in large flakes again and Riku didn't make a move. The redhead's jade eyes were narrowed, but he wasn't glaring. He didn't even really look angry, but maybe that was just the blood on his face. Maybe that was the bruise forming under his eye.
"I slept with Roxas."
The way the words came out so suddenly, the way they seemed to echo in the silence, Axel wasn't even sure if he had heard correctly.
"What?" the redhead asked. "What?"
Riku took a deep, shuddering breath. His mouth was propped open, his eyes were wide, and he stared up at his best friend like a frightened animal. "I slept with Roxas," he repeated. "A long time ago, back… back in high school. I slept with him while I was dating Sora. That's… that's why Sora and I… That's why our relationship is so weird. I didn't want to tell you because –"
"Get up."
Riku hesitated, but then he stood. He didn't even have time to brush the snow off his pants before Axel had grabbed him and shoved him roughly against the side of a nearby building. Their faces were close, Riku's eyes were cast downward, and he felt fear course through his veins.
"Why?" Axel asked. There was fire behind his green eyes.
"I don't know," Riku breathed. "I liked him. It's not like either of us knew you. He was just a freshman and I –"
Axel felt something unfamiliar in his chest and his teeth clenched together. "You… you slept with him when he was fourteen?"
"Axel, I was fifteen. You're acting like I took advantage of him. I –"
"You did!" The redhead hadn't meant to yell. "You did take advantage of him! You took advantage of Sora too! You –"
"Roxas came to me!" Riku yelled. "He came to me Axel! I'm sorry you want to act like he's perfect, but he's not! He's not some fucking innocent little kid! He's just as devious and awful as anyone else!"
"Shut up!" Axel took his hands away from his best friend's coat. He snatched his snow hat from his head and ran his hands through his red locks of hair. His back was to Riku. He couldn't even form words at the moment. He was angry, he felt deceived, he felt badly for Roxas, for Sora, but then he felt guilty for wasting his sympathy… He took a breath and tried to keep himself even.
"Axel, I didn't want to tell you because I knew you'd do this."
The redhead rounded on Riku. "This would've been a lot easier to fucking hear back when we first moved in!" he shouted. "I can't believe you! You took advantage of both of them!"
Riku glared. "I did not! Are you fucking deaf? Roxas came to me, Axel!"
"He was fourteen!" Axel yelled. "He was fourteen, Riku! How can you tell me you didn't take advantage of him?"
"Because I was just as inexperienced as he was!" Riku shouted back. "I wasn't some asshole looking for a good time! I liked him! I wanted to be with him! I was with Sora though and… And I don't know, okay? I just didn't want you to know because you liked him and I knew you'd be upset! I didn't want you to know that –"
"That what?" Axel barked. "That… that you slept around with both of them? That… that you took Roxas' virginity from him? Because you knew I'd be mad? So your whole fucking plan was to just let me know later? Jesus fucking Christ! What the fuck were you waiting for? The goddamn wedding announcement or were all three of you just going to lie to me forever?"
Riku looked away and didn't say anything.
"I can't…" Axel ran his hand through his hair. He wiped some of the dried blood from his face with his hat and then shook his head. "Why now? Why would you do this to me now?"
"I didn't do anything, Axel."
"Bullshit!" the redhead yelled. "You're a fucking asshole, Riku! You waited to tell me now and… and you aren't even cushioning the fucking fall! You're just letting it all hang out! You're just telling me that Roxas fucking stabbed Sora in the back and you just went along with it! Do you have any idea how awful that is?"
Riku hesitated before saying, "You didn't even really know him! You didn't know me at all! Why do you care, Axel? Roxas isn't yours!"
Axel felt his blood boil. He felt fire spark in his chest. He felt his body tense and it took him everything not to strike Riku again. "I'm in love with him! I don't want to hear this! I don't want to hear that Roxas is… that he's awful just because he is! I want to hear that Roxas is mean because his mom died, because he feels lonely and scared and abandoned! I don't want Roxas to be rotten to the core! I want him to have an excuse to act the way he does! I love him and he's…" His words trailed off.
Riku immediately looked away from the redhead and let silence fall between them. It had never occurred to him that Axel could love Roxas. Riku had never thought to look at it from his best friend's point of view. Axel saw Roxas as some innocent kid whose mother had been stolen from him by fate. He didn't see Roxas as devious (grumpy, yes, but not devious). He didn't see him as the kind of person capable of such deceit.
Axel would admit Roxas had some bad habits and that he didn't always treat people kindly. But knowing that he purposefully went after Sora's boyfriend – after Riku – and knowing Riku liked Roxas… It unsettled him greatly. It made him feel sick. It made him want to lean over and vomit into the snow.
"I'm sorry," Riku breathed.
"Disturbing the peace and assault…" Officer Leonhart approached them with his ticket pad and pen in hand. "As soon as I got the call, I knew you had something to do with this, Axel." He ripped the tickets from the pad and held them out for the redhead to take.
Axel stared.
Officer Leonhart shrugged and dropped the tickets into the snow. "And now littering…" He began to write another ticket on his pad. "I was hoping maybe you had learned to –"
Axel wasn't in the mood and even though he knew he was going to get arrested, he reeled back and struck Officer Leonhart in the face.
And Officer Leonhart responded by taking Axel to the ground and cuffing him.
••••••••••••••
"Hey Cheeseburger, will you give this to Roxy?"
Riku took the envelope from Axel's hand and turned it over. There was no name on it, but it was sealed. He looked up at his best friend and then shrugged. "I guess," he said. "What is it?"
"It's just a letter I wrote to Roxy. I haven't seen him much…" Axel shrugged. "But I wanted to tell him I was moving, you know? I wanted to let him know we're still friends even if I'm not around."
Riku sighed and then nodded. They were sitting in the back of the moving van that was currently half-filled with stuff from Axel's small house. His parents were inside, packing up the last of their things and telling the movers what to take next and where to put things. Axel was moving to Carmine, a town a few hours over, and he would be finishing high school there.
"I can't believe you're leaving…" Riku sighed again and held the letter in his hand. He felt Axel slink an arm around his shoulders. "You're my best friend."
"I always will be," Axel said. "And you'll always be my best friend."
He frowned and then nodded slightly. It was December 17th. They had just gotten out of school for break. Riku hadn't said anything to the redhead, but he had noticed that sometime between December 2nd and December 5th, the quadruplets had stopped going to school. He was too afraid to call, but he was worried.
Had they moved? Were they okay? Had something happened to their parents or had something happened to one of them? He wanted to know, but he was fearful of the answer. Truthfully, he didn't want to ask because he was scared that maybe something bad had happened to Sora.
"Axel…" Riku looked at the taller boy. "At the risk of sounding like a faggot…" They both smirked. "I'm going to miss you."
"Hey, don't worry about it. It'll be okay," he assured. "We're both going to State. You'll be the Boo-Boo to my Yogi before you know it."
He supposed this was true, but it still sucked that Axel was leaving. Riku now knew why Roxas hung out with him. He took all the drama, all the problems, all the issues, and he made you forget about them. He joked and he smiled and he teased and played around… Nothing was serious when it came to Axel and Riku adored that. It made everything so much easier to deal with.
"Hey…" Riku stuck his pinkie out and wiggled it at Axel. "Promise we'll always be best friends?"
The redhead raised a brow. "You're so gay." He stuck his pinkie out anyway and hooked it around Riku's own. "But I don't want you to cry and cut yourself later, so yea. I promise we'll always be best friends."
••••••••••••••
He never gave the letter to Roxas. At first, it was by accident; he just kept forgetting. But as December 17th turned into December 26th, Riku slowly began to wonder what the letter said. Axel didn't talk about Roxas much and Roxas had never mentioned Axel. The only thing Riku had noticed was whenever he was friends with Roxas, Axel wasn't around and whenever he was friends with Axel, Roxas wasn't around.
He kept turning the letter over in his hands. He kept running his fingers along the seal. He wanted to know what it said because he wanted to know what kind of relationship Roxas and Axel had. Surely it couldn't have been that deep. They were barely seen together and as far as Riku knew, the two of them had never really done anything together except kiss.
But he was bothered by the letter nonetheless and to keep himself from prying, he slipped the letter into a folder in his closet and tried to forget about it. Normally, this task would've had a toll on Riku, but no sooner had he stuffed the letter out of sight someone was banging on his door.
Snow had fallen. The weather had been below freezing all winter long. The sky was overcast and the weatherman promised there would be more snow by nightfall.
He walked into his living room and opened the front door. He tried not to look shocked, he tried to play it cool, but there was no denying it. He was extremely surprised to see Sora standing there and he was even more surprised when he noticed the brunet didn't look well. His sun-kissed skin was pale, the vibrancy of his eyes had dulled, and dark, nasty circles made themselves evident underneath his eyes.
"Sora…" Riku stepped aside. "Come in."
The brunet stepped inside and stood, awkwardly, next to the front door. He had his arms crossed over his chest. He didn't remove his jacket, his scarf, hat, mittens, or shoes. He just stood there trying to look angry, but the emotional stress he was already under made it very difficult. He was exhausted both physically and mentally.
"Um…" Riku reached up and ran his hands through his hair. "C-can I get you something? Are you cold? Are you hungry or… or thirsty?"
"I've never been to your house." Sora looked around the living area. He could see Riku's room off to the left and then there was a kitchen area near the back of the living room. He imagined a bathroom was probably attached to Riku's own room. "Do you…" He paused. "Do you live here alone?"
It never occurred to Sora to ask Riku about his home life. The brunet was content to just be with the other and details about his mother, his father, his house… It had never crossed Sora's mind. Riku didn't seem like someone to spread his personal business either, so Sora figured maybe it would be better if he didn't ask.
"I do." Riku shoved his hands in the pocket of his pants. He wished his place was cleaner. It had been so long since he had visitors, he didn't feel the need to clean or pick-up. "My mom's dead and my dad's in jail."
Sora looked at Riku for a long time and when he spoke, his voice sounded bitter, "I think that's the most honest you've ever been with me."
He couldn't argue because he knew that was probably true. He shrugged his shoulders and looked down at his feet. Sora still stood in his spot with his arms crossed and his blue eyes searching hungrily around the small house. He knew so little about Riku. It felt like he barely knew him at all.
"I just came by to tell you something."
Riku looked up at the brunet. A glimmer of hope ignited in his chest and he took a deep breath. He brushed his hair back from his face and stared at Sora.
The younger boy shifted under his gaze. "My mom… My mom is dead. She…" He took a breath. "She died on December 2nd. Her plane crashed and they… they couldn't find her body. They don't know what caused the plane to crash either. She…"
Riku stared. He didn't know much about Sora's mom other than that Roxas was strangely enamored with her. She seemed like a very nice woman, but he had never taken the time to know her. There was something lurking behind her eyes, something rotten in her chest. Riku had never gotten to know her for that reason. The way she looked at him, the way she looked at Sora, was totally different from how she looked at Roxas.
She looked at Roxas with malice. She looked at everyone else with love.
"Sora…" Riku said. "I'm… I'm sorry." He hesitated at first, but then he reached out and put his hand on the brunet's shoulder. "Are you okay? I mean…" He shook his head. "Can I do anything for you?"
They locked eyes, the familiar blue into aqua, and Riku had to look away. Guilt welled up in his chest and threatened to overcome him. Guilt made him want to word vomit. Guilt made him want to scream the truth, to tell Sora everything from start to finish. He tightened his grip on the brunet's shoulder and he didn't know why he did it, but he did. He pulled Sora into a tight embrace and he buried his face into his ex-boyfriend's hair. He held him impossibly close and felt relief wash through him when Sora half-heartedly hugged him back.
"I'll be okay…" he breathed. He buried his face against Riku's neck and squeezed him. He had to stop himself from telling Riku he missed him. He had to keep himself from telling Riku he still loved him and thought about him and wanted to be with him. He had come here for a reason and the reason was not for himself. "Riku…"
The older boy pulled back slightly and looked at the smaller boy. "What? What's wrong?"
His gaze shifted downward. "Roxas…"
The name made Riku tense considerably and Sora felt a dire pain erupt in his chest. He caught his lower lip between his teeth to keep from crying (he still hadn't cried. He was still convinced Riku was nothing to cry over) and took a breath to regain his composure. He broke their contact and backed a good distance away from his ex.
"Roxas isn't doing well. I… I went to Axel's house to find him and I couldn't. I –"
"He moved," Riku stated flatly. "Gone."
Sora caught his tongue between his teeth. "Great. Well, I… I just came here because I know…" He took a breath. "I know how Roxas felt about you and I'm scared for him. I don't… I know I shouldn't be asking and it… It hurts that I am, but I… I need you to try and talk to him."
Riku stared.
Sora tried to avoid his gaze. "Don't look at me like that. I… I don't know anyone else close to Roxas. I just need someone to speak to him."
Riku couldn't help but look offended. "Why can't you talk to him? Or one of your sisters or your dad?"
"Riku, everything between us… It happened only six months ago. I haven't spoken to Roxas in six months. None of us have except… except maybe my dad, but… But we're not… He's disconnected from us. I don't…" Sora sighed. "I don't know how to explain it."
He really didn't. Naminé had come straight to him and Kairi when they found out their mother had died. They had all collapsed in on each other and wallowed in a collective sorrow, but Roxas… He refused to come out from hiding. He refused to eat, to speak, to do anything except lie in his bed like a dead body. Sora had tried numerous times to speak to him, but Roxas said nothing. He did nothing.
Ideally, Sora wanted Axel. Sora wanted Axel to comfort Roxas, to pat his brother on the back and make him normal again, but Axel wasn't around. So he had to go to Riku. He didn't know what else to do.
"I was wrong." Sora's voice shook. "I was wrong to lock Roxas out of my life like that. I'm sorry Kairi and I… I'm sorry we did that to him. I was so angry, I…" His voice died in his throat and he looked away. His hand came up to wipe at his face. "I'm not saying he didn't deserve it, but I knew… I knew what Mom did to him. I knew what she had done and I… I should've helped him. I should've helped him."
The tears fell freely down his cheeks. He couldn't do much to stop them. He knew what his mother was. He knew what she had done because Naminé had relayed the message to Sora as soon as Roxas had finished telling her. Granted, Sora had tried to make it clear he didn't care, but that didn't stop her from talking. And when she finished, all Sora could say was, "Serves him right."
And he hadn't meant it. He was just mad. He had wanted to end the ban of silence against his brother right then and there, but he was hurt. He was so hurt by what Riku and Roxas had done behind his back. Sora couldn't do it, so he went about with Kairi pretending Roxas didn't exist. He and Kairi had even gone as far as to make it clear they didn't even consider him their brother anymore.
They had been cruel. Sora would still insist Roxas deserved punishment, but he would admit it was all extremely cruel. And now here they were. The puppet master known as their mother was dead. The witch had died. The ring leader was gone. But Roxas was lying in his bed, sad and upset and not saying a word, convinced that he wasn't part of his sibling's group anymore.
"Please, Riku…" Sora sniffled and wiped his cheeks with his mitten covered hands. "Please talk to him."
"Sora, I can't." Riku sighed.
The brunet looked up at the older boy. Tears fell down his cheeks, followed his jaw line, and dripped off his chin. "Please," Sora begged. "Please, Riku. I need my brother back. I…"
He caught his lower lip between his teeth and then he groaned and ran his hands through his hair nervously. "Fine. I'll talk to Roxas, but…" He gazed at Sora. "But I'm only talking to him for you. I don't… I don't want anything to do with him. I want to be with you. I –"
Sora let a mirthless laugh escape his lips before crumbling into a heap of wet, messy tears. He was crying over more than just the loss of his mother and the loss of his brother.
He was crying over Riku, too.
••••••••••••••
He didn't know where everyone had gone to, but Sora's house was completely empty. He had decided to come over on the 30th. He had needed some time to process what Sora wanted him to do as well as figure out what he was supposed to say to someone he had been ignoring for six months. He wasn't nervous because it was Roxas. He was nervous because he didn't want to fuck anything up with Sora. He didn't want to accidentally make Roxas feel worse.
When he knocked on the front door, a woman he didn't know answered. She looked to be a housekeeper or something and when she asked Riku what he wanted, she had a thick, thick accent that he couldn't place.
"Is Roxas here?"
"In his room," she answered before scuttling away.
Riku walked inside and closed the door. He had been in this house enough times before to know where Roxas and Sora's room was. Up the stairs, down the hall, the last door on the right… It was a room he had frequented when he had been with the twins.
He knocked gently on the door and when no one answered, he breathed the blonde's name. There was no movement, no noise, so Riku let himself in and sighed when he saw the younger boy curled on his side on his bed.
"What?" Roxas sounded weak.
"It's… It's me…" He closed the door behind him and made his way over to the blonde's bed. Riku took a seat on the edge and looked anxiously at his hands. "Sora told me to –"
"Talk to me," Roxas answered. "I know."
Silence passed between them and Riku couldn't help but notice it wasn't awkward or uncomfortable. It was just silence. It was horrible and awful and it was just silence.
"Where's Axel?" Roxas sat up in bed and Riku felt his heart lurch in his chest. He hated how pitiful Roxas looked. He hated how he looked even worse than Sora. Riku could've sworn his blue eyes were almost gray now.
"He… He moved."
The already pitiful look on the blonde's face worsened as it turned into hurt. "He moved?" Roxas' voice was so small and so weak, Riku didn't want to confirm the answer.
"Yea, he… He moved over to Carmine with his parents. Roxas, look, Sora –"
"Get out," Roxas commanded. "Leave. Get out right now." His body shook. He had lost all shame so he did not hide his face when tears began to fall. "I want to be alone."
Riku stared. "Roxas –"
"I don't want to talk to you!" he yelled. "I don't want you! I want Axel!" Roxas sobbed. "I wanted Axel to be here so bad! I wanted him to walk in through my door so bad!"
Riku tried not to look hurt, but he couldn't. He didn't need to read the letter to know what kind of relationship they had. Obviously it was deeper than anything he and Roxas had ever had. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked away.
"Get out," Roxas stated shakily. "Get out, Riku."
He stood and made his way over to the door. Sora had been wrong. Roxas didn't want to talk to him any more than he wanted to talk to anyone else. He hesitated before leaving and he and Roxas exchanged a long, hard look. They weren't anything. Riku had ignored him just like Sora, just like Kairi, just like Naminé. Axel had been there. Axel had always been there when Roxas needed him.
Riku left the room silently and as soon as he was gone, Roxas sobbed loudly. He wiped at his face and he sobbed because now he was alone. The only person that he wanted comfort from had up and left without a word and Roxas felt extremely abandoned. Weren't they friends? Why had Riku known where Axel was? Why hadn't he known?
Because he wasn't Axel's best friend.
Pain coursed through him and when he stood up from his bed, he stumbled. Tears ran down his cheeks, sobs were pushed out of him, and he stumbled over to his desk and removed the photos he had of Axel. The photos they had taken together over the summer. Photos of them eating sea salt ice cream, sitting atop the clock tower, lying in Axel's backyard… Out of anger and rage, he began to rip these photos up. He ripped them into small, unrecognizable pieces. He sobbed and he shook and he was so angry.
Axel had just left him.
Roxas took a deep breath and observed the wreckage. It didn't feel like enough. He hadn't done enough. He went through his desk and began to pull out anything that reminded him of Axel. Letters from the redhead, all the ice cream sticks from the summer, colored beads and bottle caps Axel had collected specifically for Roxas because he knew Roxas liked that kind of thing… Roxas began to destroy all of it. He tore up the letters and made them into confetti. He threw all ice cream sticks, beads, and caps away. He tore up the piece of paper with Axel's phone number on it and as he searched through his drawers for anything else, he cut himself on the edge of a photographer.
Annoyed, he yanked the photo from where it sat and his heart gave a painful lurch.
It was the photo of Axel from his time in California. The photo he had stolen from the redhead's stack. Roxas stared at it. He stared at the smile on Axel's face, his tall, lanky body, the surfboard that was bigger than him… He felt an uncomfortable lump form in his throat and as he went to rip the photo in two, he noticed there was another one behind it.
Roxas didn't know how he had gotten this photo, but seeing it only caused him more pain. It was a simple photo of Axel on the beach. He was wearing jeans and no shirt and next to where he sat he had built a sand sculpture that read "I miss you, Roxy." The blonde stared at it and reached up to wipe at the tears that fell from his eyes. He flipped the photo over and read the small note Axel had written on the back.
I had to wait until dark to do this. So many people walking the beaches here. Don't worry. There's no boy here as cute as you. I don't need to look to know. ;) I can't wait to see you, Roxy. California is great and all, but it'd be so much better if you were here. My mom would love you. Who wouldn't? I'm going to slip this into one of your notebooks or something so I don't have to suffer social embarrassment when you tell me I'm totally queer for doing this. See you soon, Roxy. I miss you lots!
Axel.
He reread the note several times and then, without much thought, he crumpled the photo in his hand and threw it on the ground. He walked over to his bed, exhausted and sad and frustrated, and he lay down and tried to think about anyone or anything that wasn't Axel.
How could Axel do this to him? How?
••••••••••••••
He slammed the door and began to furiously pull off his winter gear. He tossed everything to the floor and mumbled under his breath about stupid boys, stupid relationships, and the apathy that plagued contemporary society. He mumbled about how everything was just about sex, how everything was fun and how taking something seriously was just too much to ask for.
"Zexion!" Demyx yelled from his spot. "Zexion, where are you?" He heard a glass break in the kitchen and he made his way over to where his roommate and best friend must be.
He was kneeling on the floor and picking up bits and pieces of glass. The sound of Demyx's voice had startled him even though he had heard the blond come in. Zexion had been sitting at the kitchen table reading some humongous historical fiction novel that Demyx had purchased for him for Christmas. It was something like 1,500 pages in length.
"Zexion!" Demyx yelled despite the shorter boy kneeling less than a foot away from him.
He looked up and replied with a simple, "Yes, Demy?"
"Axel never showed up at the bakery! He hasn't even called or texted me to tell me what's going on!" Demyx crossed his arms over his chest and tried to not look offended and hurt. "I can't believe him! He said he'd be there! He said he'd meet me and he didn't!"
Zexion stood and tossed the pieces of glass into the nearby trashcan. He glanced over at the blond and just offered the smallest of shrugs.
"Do… Do you think something happened to him?" Demyx frowned and took a seat upon the counter top. "Should I try calling him?"
Zexion shook his head. "Let him come to you, Dem." He paused and looked at the tiny slivers of glass that had gotten caught in the palm of his hand. "What… What did you want to talk to him about exactly?"
"Us." Demyx swung his legs and then blushed and quickly shook his head. "N-not you and I us, but Axel and I us. Ya know?"
Zexion shrugged and mumbled, "I guess so." He had been hoping the blond was going to go break up with the redhead. Granted, he had no real reason to believe this was the case, but… But he and Demyx had consummated their relationship. He had just figured…
"What's wrong?" Demyx slipped from his spot on the counter and walked over to Zexion. "You look upset. But… But you always kind of look that way."
He scowled. "I'm just a bit perplexed, Dem. You and I shared a moment together and I took that to mean..." He fished around for the right words. "I thought it meant we'd be something more than just friends."
Demyx blushed a deep scarlet and looked away guiltily. "O-oh, well… I… You see, Zex, I…"
Zexion scoffed. "Don't insult me. I may have trouble reading individuals and deciphering what they may be trying to say, but I believe it's safe to say that what occurred between us was a mistake." He strode past Demyx and only stopped when the blond reached out and grasped his wrist.
"It wasn't a mistake, Zexy." Demyx frowned.
He snatched his wrist away from the blond and gave him a cold, unforgiving look. "Maybe not for you, Demyx, but it was unquestionably a mistake for me."
A look of utter hurt crossed his features and Zexion couldn't help but sneer. Demyx wore his emotions on his sleeves. Zexion buried them deep and pretended they didn't exist.
A/N: Yaaaay. This chapter is 11,000 words in length! I meant to end it, but I didn't want to do what I did last time which was end it on a flashback thing. So now Axel knows and everything is kind of coming to a head. I foresee this story being over within 5-7 chapters (unless I get some kind of major awesome idea for plot and this story ends up being longer). I'm kind of glad I'm going to be able to end it just because I would hate to draw something like this out for 25+ chapters. I think that would be pretty damn difficult and it would eventually get super repetitive.
Thank you Aindel S. Druida for beta-editing this. Please, please, please check out her stories. Despite my inability to review anything, she is a wonderful writer (and spectacular at English!).
Um… I think chapter 11 or chapter 12 will show a shift in time. I've been slowly writing this out, but I think it's going to take a time jump somewhere. Not a big one, but just like… From the end of the school year to the beginning of next (spring to fall, skip summer).
I also think the chapters will become more central on certain characters so I can tie some things up before the end. So prepare for some, possible, chapters that are mostly about Sora and Riku, the quadruplets, Demyx and Zexion / Cloud x Leon. I don't want to leave anything unfinished (none of this filler nonsense) and I would hate to end this story and then go back and be like "OH CRAP. I FORGOT TO FINISH THAT PART OF THE PLOT! ARGH!"
I think Axel's brother / parents will make an appearance somewhere. I know Riku's dad will be showing up. It's like I have all the pieces to the puzzle, now I just need to put them together.
Anyway, the next chapter will be coming out erm… Early February? I'm going to try to stay on top of this. Can you guys believe this story has been going on for six whole months? I know, scary! Also, once this story is finished, I think I'm going to write a new one. I just don't know which characters it will focus on (Riku x Sora, Axel x Roxas, or Demyx x Zexion) or what it'll be about.
Blargh. That's a LOOOONG note. Sorry. Um… Thanks everyone for favoriting, alerting, reviewing, and all that other neat stuff you guys do. I really appreciate all the support, all the love, and all the epic scrutiny. Thank you.
Thank You for Reviewing:
Miyuki-ice-fox: I hear the nerd thing. I talked to my roommate for twenty minutes about Tron / Space Paranoids and how complex it all must be. At the end, he was just kind of like "…what's Tron exactly?" Oh, southern boys. So, so cute.
Yea, I have to be careful writing out their mother. I want people to know Roxas was being ill-advised, but I don't want all the blame to fall on his mother. Roxas did act of his own free will. And yes, I agree. It was time Roxas got told. You can't walk around with a sad face on forever.
Reku14: I'm still not totally sure what's up with his mother. I'm still playing with the plot on that part. There are a couple things I could say to justify why she did what she did, but I don't know if I'll say anything at all. I could leave it at "oh, well, she's crazy" but I don't know how satisfying of an answer that is. Yeeees. I added the bit as to why Roxas disliked Axel so much. It's totally irrational, but the emotional stress Roxas was under sort of justifies it.
Axas: Aww. I didn't mean to make you cry. I will admit that some of my one-shots are meant to be tearjerkers, but this story not so much (well, maybe small parts of it). I'm glad you love this story, even if it does cause you emotional turmoil!
Catch the Stillicide: I wanted Riku to take all the blame to sort of rectify his actions. I wouldn't have shouldered all the blame either, but that's what separates me from a good person. :P The fight between Roxas and Sora wasn't originally part of the plot, but it fit in nicely and I'm glad I added it. I'm also glad I separated the flashbacks into pieces. I think doing it in one big chunk would've been overwhelming / confusing. Too much information all in one sitting.
The Moon's Berserk: Aww. When's your birthday? And yes! They were always friends, so I hope this chapter explains Roxas' sudden dislike of Axel. Eventually, the letter Axel wrote to Roxas will come up. I just don't know when.
Neitzarr: This review made me smile a lot. I love short reviews like this because they make me feel good about myself (hooray self-esteem!) without making me blush and feel stupid. Also, your penname… I like it. Does it have anything to do with Russia / Russian?
t.y.u.i.t.y.u.i.: Hooray! :] This story has a fan! Now all you need is a foam finger that says "#1" on it.
Superkawaiifreak: I actually decided to go a different route and use the "favoritism" as a mask. She set Roxas up because she's just cruel. I'm still messing around with the plot for her. I can't decide if I should actually offer an explanation for her behavior or just leave it at "oh, she was crazy." I hope this chapter also ties up some other loose ends. This story actually needs a LOT of tying together. I was looking through it and realized I started plots that I haven't carried out yet. Argh. I should've written this all down from the start!
I don't know why, but I can't make Riku likable. And even when I try, I find his behavior contrived which is bad because I'm the author. I shouldn't be like "UGH. WHAT A FAKE ASSHOLE." I should be like "look, readers, he's a good guy!" but I'm having so much trouble with that. I'm not sure why.
That's great! I like everyone to have different personalities. I will say the story kind of writes its own personalities. My Demyx and Zexion in A Dreidel in My Stocking are different from the Demyx and Zexion I write here. Not AMAZINGLY different, but still pretty different. And I usually write a very sarcastic, very dry Riku, but here he's just… more of a douche (by mistake. See what I mean about the story writing the personalities?).
I've played with the possibility of her having some kind of thing against Axel, but I'm not sure how I could make that all work. There are a couple things I could do with Roxas' mom, but I just don't know what I'll end up doing.
Vithian: Fear not, dear reader. The update will be around when you come back. Though that is an unfortunate coincidence. :[ It never crossed my mind to make Roxas crazy. I actually never meant to make his mom manipulative, but I felt like it added to the plot. I'm still not sure what I'll do with Roxas' mom. I'm still on the fence about why she did what she did. It could be a simple "oh, she's just a jerk" or it could be something deeper. It just depends on how long I want this story to go. But no, Roxas isn't crazy. Err… No more than usual, anyway.
Casaragi: Aww, thank you! Writing this story is kind of hard because of all the angst. I don't want my readers to completely hate Riku / Sora / Roxas / Axel / whoever, but I don't want them to completely sympathize either. It is human nature to be good and to be bad. I dislike stories that don't show the nastier side of individuals. Everyone has a bad side, some are just better at controlling it and keeping it hidden. I don't particularly care for pick-up lines, but writing the scene was fun. There are so many pick-up lines on the web. There were Pokemon ones. They were ridiculous.
Inuliedelfenx: I never meant to make Roxas so jaded. But I begin to build a personality for someone and, like Frankenstein's monster, it builds up into something I can't control. I don't much care for a suicidal Roxas, but that may be because I don't much care for suicidal characters in general (I do enjoy a self-harming Zexion, but I feel that that's sort of a given).
You have an interesting take on Roxas and Sora's fight. I think most other people were glad to see Roxas being called out for his behavior. However, it is true that Sora and the others don't really do much to help Roxas. They all just sort of watch what they say and do to avoid igniting his wrath. Also, I never meant to make Riku such a creep. Whoops!
I can't relate to anything in this story at all. I have never been in any of these situations nor have I ever known beautiful people.
TheOneYouCallWe: Yes. Roxas' mom is a slimy, filthy woman who hides behind make-up and pretty clothes and a successful career.
I never meant to make Zexion into a creep. In fact, this chapter may sway you to look at Demyx as the creep now. Let's be honest: everyone in this story is kind of a creep. Hooray for the ability to be good and bad!
Yes. Roxas is kind of a masochist / drama-queen. He does thoroughly enjoy drama even though he will deny it to the death. Yes. Sora and Riku lovey-dovey shit makes me want to go "aww" and "eww" at once.
Yes! Axel is astute. The thing about this story is that I wanted Axel to come into the picture as this super cocky, relatively irritating, "everyone loves me" kind of guy who actually sees the world and the people in it for what they actually are. I love writing Axel because I feel like his care free attitude is just a way for him to cover up what he actually knows. I never saw Axel as someone who missed social cues or body language. I have always viewed him as someone to pick up on really subtle movements or remarks. I also view him as someone who will panic if he believes someone he cares about / loves is upset with him.
Of course the happy ending will come! I don't like chapter stories that end on a bad note. It leaves me feeling like "well… I just read 100,000 words and all I got was 'it ended the way it started.' I want my time back."
Bahahaha. Riku's father is a douche and Leon… Well, I've always sort of loathed Leon. He's so "get the fuck away from me. I hate you" and even though I love that about him, I also hate him for it. As for the story… I'm sort of doing a little of both. I have a general plot outline, but there are LOTS of things that I've been making up as I go along. How Sora and Riku got back together was COMPLETELY different from how I originally pictured it. Originally, Roxas' mom wasn't a crazy bitch and Roxas and Axel were never friends. However, that all kind of went to pot the more I wrote.
OrangeJuiceSmilies: I hope this chapter clears up the question of "why does Roxas hate Axel?" I know that his reasoning is highly flawed, but I feel the emotional stress Roxas was under made him vulnerable to something as strong as hate for Axel. Eventually, the letter will be read and Roxas and Axel will have some sort of understanding and blahblahblah, we all want the happy ending to commence. We all also want to see Roxas walking down the aisle and marrying Axel, the author of the newly revised Aesop's Fables. One can dream.
Rocket-Ship-Romance: Yep. Roxas was in denial about it. I figure that makes sense because he was his mother's favorite and he didn't want to let her down.
I wish I had a nicotine patch for people I should resist. I can also share some of Roxas / Riku's pain. I think most everyone 17+ have been in some kind of situation where they know they shouldn't be with someone, but they keep doing it anyway. And I bet everyone has, at some point, been in a situation where they liked feeling wanted. I love feeling wanted. It causes me to act in ways I probably really shouldn't.
The pick-up line scene was fun to write. I can definitely see that becoming a regular thing for Axel and Roxas. I'm actually also pretty excited to see Demyx and Axel break up because they aren't anything. They're just there for plot purposes. I also love Zexion and Demyx together because they complement each other so well.
I'm still unsure about Roxas' mom. I've said this quite a bit now to a bunch of different people, but I'm just not sure if I want her involved in the plot anymore than she already is. I'm sure there will be an explanation for her madness, but I'm not sure if it'll be a huge thing or if it'll just be a little bump in the story's road.
I actually loathe people who are fucked up. I would find Roxas insufferable and I would probably end up moving out of the duplex. I can't stand that kind of behavior which is extremely hypocritical because I've been prone to act the same way (minus the hotness and sluttiness).
It Started with a Paopu: I actually dislike their mom less than I dislike Riku, but I think that's because I meant for her to be hated and I didn't mean for Riku to be hated (disliked, sure, but not hated). I'm so delighted that everyone is telling everyone about this story. I didn't know fanfiction traveled by word of mouth. I also didn't know people talked about books or fanfiction to their friends. I obviously don't get out enough.
I actually have the same love-hate relationship with Roxas. I feel really bad for him and I love seeing a masculine, super-head-over-heels Axel cuddle a slightly feminine, super-in-deniable-about-being-in-love Roxas. It makes my heart melt and it makes me go "AWW OH MAN SO CUTE" and then I feel less masculine. Oh well.
SSanity: He's actually an expert at it. His mom was also an expert at screwing up his life too. I'm glad you don't dislike everyone. The general feeling of the readers seems to be one of mutiny against the common selfishness of every character. I'm actually kind of surprised you don't really dislike anyone. I'm writing for them and I still find myself going "ugh, you dick" whenever I have to write a particularly mean scene for Roxas or whenever I write Riku (uuugh).
Everything will end up okay for Axel and Roxas. Having them not together is a crime against nature.
Fredrikness: NO! It was NOT supposed to happen! But, somehow, Riku's personality took on a life of its own and he ended up being some kind of jerk-face monster. I'm still trying to figure out a way to fix that. I really don't want my readers hating one of the main characters.
Vendetta4Kyoto: I want Roxas and Axel to skip through a field of flowers too but plot is demanding they skip through the gates of Hell and suffer for a little while longer. I'm glad you like this story so much! I think everyone is sort of on the fence about who they do like and who they don't. Most people seem to feel that Riku is just a douchebag and deserves to be alone. That totally wasn't supposed to happen, but oh well. I'll find a way to fix it. Axel will learn eventually and Roxas will get over his issues and they will go skipping through that field of flowers.
Sana-chan9: I agree. Roxas did need a bit of telling off. And noooo. Their mom totally doesn't have cancer. She's dead, but not because of cancer. Bahahahah. I read that and I was like "oh… fuck, did she have cancer? OH MAN PLOT HOLE! FUCKFUCKFUCK!" and then I read the line after that and was like "oh… never mind. She just doesn't remember. Hooray!"
I really like Sora too. I think if I had to choose one of the characters that I liked the most, it'd probably fall between Sora and Axel. I have such a soft spot for Axel. Demyx, too. I think it's the whole "tall, skinny, and kind of scary" thing they both have going for them.
IchiakiI: Yes! Everyone does count! A review is a review regardless of what it says or how much it says. I always appreciate people taking the time to tell me what they think or how they feel about what I'm writing. I'm also thoroughly looking forward to the upcoming Axel x Roxas stuff. Woohoo!
Thanks. I try to update really fast and I really enjoy writing. Summertime is the best time to write because then I can bang out updates every two weeks. I love being on break from college. And hooray for avoiding family on Christmas! Glad I could be of service.
Michi: The more I wrote the flashbacks, the more I realized it would be really, really difficult for Riku to be all over Roxas while also all over Sora. I wanted to make it clear that Riku did genuinely like Roxas, which was why he cheated on Sora, but he wasn't out to just have two boyfriends. Like… I didn't want him to come off as a player, I guess? I wanted readers to go "I can see why he did that, but he's still a jerk" and instead, the readers are saying "he's just a jerk!"
But you're right. The flashbacks weren't ever supposed to be this long. They were supposed to fill in some gaps in a chapter or two, but they took on a life of their own. I probably could've done a better job making it clearer (and making Riku look less like a douche!).
Naminé is one of my favorite characters. She's so fun to write for because she's quiet and nice. As for Kairi, I'm thinking at some point the girls will get a chapter that's mostly about them.
RainbowNinjaD: Writing argument scenes are the best. I don't know why, but I really, really enjoy putting characters at odds with one another (but only briefly! I hate long-standing conflict between people who should actually be having sex). I don't know how unintentional Roxas' home wrecking is. Like… he knows he's home wrecking, but he's not doing it just to do it. He's doing it because he likes the other person. I hope that makes sense.
Xacilia: I always leave things in my tab browser thing if I really, really like them. I generally end up saving them to my favorites folder if I have to turn my PC off. It's not embarrassing at all! It's actually kind of cute.
Roxas is too hard to hate. I mean, I think it's really easy to get fed up with him, but then how can anyone say "go away" or "I'm angry at you" when he's all frowning and upset? I've never been involved in some… strange love-triangle. The closest I came to one was in high school… I started dating someone's ex-boyfriend a month after they broke up. It was really ridiculous and stupid. Good thing there isn't anything that petty going on in this story. ;P