Edward returns home and finds that keeping tabs on Bella isn't actually a distasteful task.

Edward, Chapter 4

Alice saw when I made my decision to leave the Cascades and return to Forks. She had informed the rest of the family by the time I arrived home. Esme was at the door

first, relieved and very happy to see me.

"Edward," she said breathlessly, extending her arms and beaming at me. "I'm so glad you're back. Was it helpful, your time away?"

"It was, Mom," I replied, giving her a hug and a kiss. "I'm going to do this. I don't want to uproot our family, and I don't want to leave, either," I added, though I omitted elaborating on that last point. I hoped the limits of Alice's apparition didn't extend beyond my homecoming. I wasn't sure exactly how I would proceed; usually her visions presented once a decision had been made, and I still had some things to sort out. I didn't want anyone to draw assumptions based on what she may have seen.

It was late Thursday night, and everyone was home. Alice and Jasper were finishing math homework; they had the same teacher for calculus, and this enabled them to share the assignments as much as they shared everything else. The bond between these two was almost metaphysical; they had an intuitive understanding of each other that transcended any other relationship I'd seen. Esme and Carlisle had a profound and abiding devotion that I believe sprang from their individual capabilities for love and compassion. And while I did not doubt that Rosalie and Emmett loved each other too, theirs was an intensely physical bond, as evidenced by decades' worth of destroyed furniture and homes, along with a nightly (and sometimes daily) lack of discretion that all of us, not just me and my thought-reading gift, heard in detail.

Rosalie was in the kitchen now, arranging flowers for the dining room table. She nodded to me and said, "Welcome back, Edward," then left the room.

"Thank you," I said, as she darted past me. Rosalie was the third person to enter this family. I became immortal first, and joined Carlisle in a father-son relationship that is as close as we appear to the human world. He created Esme a few decades later, after finding her near death in a hospital where he worked at the time. Similarly, he came across Rosalie, who had been assaulted and left for dead, when we were living in Rochester, NY. I discovered years later that he hoped Rosalie and I would have the same connection and deep love as he and Esme. Unfortunately that was never to be, as Rosalie and I are very different people and I felt no attraction to her. She wasn't accustomed to lack of interest from a male, and she's never forgiven me for the rejection. I knew, of course, that she also did not desire me, but her sizeable ego overlooks that salient point and she continues to resent me.

Emmett was watching a sports network on the television in the den. "Hey bro! Did you bag any mountain lions?" he asked eagerly.

"Several. I hunted a lot because I'm returning to work this weekend."

"Oh, right. You make up your mind, I guess?"

"Yes, I'm going to stay. No sense letting this get the best of me. I'll deal with it," I said with a confidence I didn't completely feel.

"Excellent. Piece of cake for you," he said, waving his hand in a cheerfully dismissive manner. "See any bears?
Decades earlier, Rosalie came across Emmett in the mountains, dying from a near-fatal bear mauling. Ever since he became immortal, he has made it his mission to exact revenge on every member of that species he can find. "A few," I said, laughing, "and I left them for you."

"Thanks, dude. I'll have to get up there and reduce the population real soon," he said, grinning.

I ran up the stairs to Alice and Jasper's room. Tiny Alice launched herself at me, singing out, "Edward! You're back!"

"You knew I was coming, right?" I hugged her and smiled in greeting at Jasper, who nodded.

"I did, but I kept searching to see if you'd changed your mind," Alice said.

"Did you see anything else?" I asked curiously.

She shook her head. "No, and that makes me think you've got some more work to do on this."

I nodded. "I'll see Bella Swan on Monday morning. I intend to keep myself under control, but honestly, I don't know how long my willpower will last. We'll only cross paths for a short time, but that's going to be my initial test, to see if my endurance can match my determination," I said grimly. "I hunted a lot when I was in the Cascades, and I'll go again around here this weekend to be ready if I have to."

I felt a sudden peaceful sensation come over me, undoubtedly Jasper's reaction to my worry. His gift is the ability to change moods; to either calm down a frantic or anxious person, or conversely, stir up someone who is lethargic or uncaring. It can be very trying for him, since he is constantly sensitive to others' temperaments and his talent is activated when he himself feels another's emotions. I sympathize because I know how difficult it can be to shut out others' thoughts when I want to. Although vampires don't get tired in the usual sense of the word, existing in concert with our superhuman abilities can still be exhausting.

"You know I can't really see anything unless you make other decisions or plans. But I'll keep checking for you," Alice said.

Another idea occurred to me. "Have you caught anything that Bella Swan might have said to anyone else around here? I must have looked totally insane to her last week. I'm concerned that she's been asking people about us."

Alice shook her head. "Nope. It probably would have come to me if she'd said something that triggered anyone's curiosity, but I can't be completely sure. She could have talked about us with someone who didn't have much of a reaction right away."

"Exactly," I said. "I think I'll pay a visit to Forks and check on that. She'll be at work tomorrow, and I can stay near the hospital to listen. Carlisle wouldn't necessarily have become aware of anything while I was gone."

"Probably a good idea," Jasper agreed.

I started working on my plan of action. It was close to three o'clock in the morning, and I could arrive at the hospital while it was still dark, staying in the trees that landscaped the complex. During the course of the day, I'd follow the thoughts of people who came into contact with Bella.

I grew increasingly eager as I worked out the details. This would also be a way for me to discover more about her. In order to befriend her, it would help to know something about her beforehand, since my usual talent for learning about people didn't work with her. And with a few hours to spare, I could probably venture out to her home and observe her in the morning before she departed for work. If I left immediately, while it was still dark, I could find a suitable vantage point to watch and listen.

Of course, she would still be asleep for awhile. What would be the point of going now?

Puzzled by emotions overtaking logic – again – I realized I wanted to be near her. Not merely to test my stamina, but to see her and be close to her in some way. Still, if I went to her home and stayed outside, close yet at a safe distance, I could use that as a kind of starting point. I could move on to watching her as she went about her day at the hospital, and then to physically being in the same room with her when I ended my shift and she arrived on Monday morning.

Yes, that was it. I could go now and do this step by step. I wanted to make sure Carlisle knew of my intentions, so I found him in his study to discuss all of this with him.

"Edward!" His face brightened when he saw me. "I heard your arrival home. I'm so glad you're back with us."
"I am too, Carlisle. I've been thinking about what will happen when I resume work," I said.

"Ah, good. So you'll be going in this weekend as scheduled?"

"Yes. I've become concerned about what Bella Swan may have said to people in my absence. I'm sure my behavior left a lot of questions in her mind – questions that, obviously, I can't read. I thought if I stayed outside of the hospital, where no one can see me, I can listen for anything that should concern us," I explained.

I was anxious for my father's approval of my plan. I hoped he would validate the sham excuses I was using to watch this young woman. The truth was, I wanted to be close to her.

Carlisle nodded his head. "I made it a point to meet her that day. I spoke to many others in the hospital afterward, but from those casual conversations, it doesn't seem as if she asked anyone about you. Still, there may be some things we missed. It can't hurt to check," he said.

I returned the nod absently, my eyes on the floor. In my mind I was already on the way to Hoh Street. "I'll speak with you later in the day to let you know what I've found," I promised.

The two-story house where Bella lived was in a small neighborhood of working-class homes, fairly close to the downtown. I silently moved to the rear of the building to find a tree that might offer a suitable perch. There was an outdoor deck running the length of the house. I sprang up into an evergreen, surveyed the layout of the deck and jumped, landing softly inside the railing.

The darkness was no impediment to my vision. I could see that Bella's kitchen and bedroom were on the other side of the windows. The deck was perfect for this hour of the night. I took a seat in a chair by the patio table and concentrated to hear within her apartment. With no difficulty, I pinpointed Bella's heartbeat and breathing in her bedroom, which was on the right as I faced the back of the house.

I listened, still as a statue, to her breath – a heavier intake as she rolled over under the covers, a sigh as she settled into position. Startled, I realized she was talking in her sleep. This was a very fortunate development, considering that I didn't have the advantage of using my gift. Her subconscious monologue might help me know her thoughts more effectively. Every so often, she mumbled something: "the car, sell it;" "two weeks" and then, "no, Bill."

Bill? I quickly flipped through a list of men named Bill who worked at the hospital. The only Bill there was the exceedingly bad-tempered manager of the central supply unit. It must be someone she knew before coming to Forks. Of course she would have a life history before she arrived here; she was a young woman in her 20s. I felt strangely melancholy as I realized I knew nothing about her. Who were her friends? What was her family like? Where did she go to school? Was Bill a very significant person to her? What events in her life informed her personal development, to the point where she moved clear across the country? Even though there was no way I could possess these answers, I was frustrated that I lacked the information and somehow upset that whatever her biography, it didn't include me.

Well, I had decided to try to be friends with her. Perhaps if I was successful, I would get these questions resolved. Maybe some of the information would become clear later today, as I used others to followed her through the hospital.

I heard her make a funny noise – it sounded almost like a snort of annoyance, and then she settled back into deep sleep. As her breathing resumed a normal pattern, her heart beat calmly and steadily. It was a comforting sound, and I felt peaceful and content, almost as much as when I played music. I sat back to listen, even closing my eyes as if in meditation.

I stayed this way for the next several hours, finally realizing that it was 6 a.m. and Bella might be rising to go to work. I jumped lightly from the porch to the trees and found a place with plenty of branches for good cover. Soon enough, I heard her alarm clock, and her groan of reluctance at having to wake up. I smiled at that. Perhaps she didn't like mornings.

Bella turned on the lights in her bedroom and walked into the kitchen, her feet padding along the floor. I watched as she prepared coffee and breakfast. It had been so long since I'd had to concern myself with such things. Vampires don't eat; we hunt and get our nutrition from the blood. I don't recall what cuisine I'd enjoyed before I became immortal; the aroma of human food generally doesn't affect me one way or another, unless it is particularly pungent, and then it's repulsive. In the company of humans, my family and I would have food in front of us if the situation called for it, as when Alice and Jasper had their lunch hour in school. It was useful to us only as props. Normally, if I took a meal break at work when another pharmacist was on duty, I went to Carlisle's office to spend the time with him or simply read if he wasn't there.

Back in her bedroom, Bella apparently prepared to take a shower. I averted my eyes until she was wrapped in a robe. My mind roamed, and I found myself having human thoughts -- some very human, very male thoughts. This was quite contrary to the gentleman I have always been. Even before I became immortal, I had respectful manners around women. As an inherent part of my personality, that carried over into my immortality. I was always mindful to give Alice, Rosalie and Esme extra measures of privacy because of my ability.

But they are my sisters and my mother. I never thought of them in the way I was now thinking about Bella. As a scientist, I was again amazed at the emotions and conduct that she was inspiring in me. As a man, I simply considered how attractive she was. Yet I didn't know why I was even torturing myself with this line of thought. Nothing would come of it, so it was a waste.

I shook my head as if to rid my mind of these last few minutes, and waited until I heard noises that I knew would mean Bella was finished showering and suitably covered. I watched her apply eye makeup – also fascinating, although I had seen my sisters do it hundreds of times – and then looked away again as she started to dress for work.

This was very enticing, but I was resolute. I would not take advantage of Bella in this way. Besides, if I could maintain discipline now, it would help with the further temptations I would face when I saw her again next week. Staying strong against the overpowering scent of her blood would take a great deal more willpower than turning away while she was undressed.

Before getting into her car, Bella knocked at her landlady's door, and I heard a cheerful exchange between them. Apparently, Mrs. Farrelly had been sick, and Bella inquired as to how she was feeling. They had only known each other a short time, but it was obvious that Bella was worried about her. And while the elderly woman insisted that she was much improved, I could hear in her thoughts that she was touched by, and grateful for, the concern. It revealed something of Bella's character to me. She was caring, compassionate.

I left then to run to the hospital, taking off through the woods until I reached a part of the forest that was close to the building. Like an avid theatre patron, I sought the best seat in the house, settling into a tree with leaves for plenty of camouflage as well as a clear visual line to the pharmacy. By now, many employees were arriving for work. I knew Larry was already in his office, and Janice would be there soon.

Bella walked in with Rick Sandoval, smiling as Rick described an outing to Seattle with his fiancée Ellen some years before. They had just started dating at the time, and Rick wanted to impress her. He took Ellen to a restaurant, where he clumsily dropped food in his lap and inadvertently insulted her by inferring she shouldn't order a particular meal because it had too much fat. I noted the comfortable way that Rick and Bella interacted, and felt enormous conflict again. I was glad that she had already made a good friend, for I knew Rick to be a respectable man. I also knew from his thoughts that he was unfailingly devoted to Ellen, so there was no chance he had any other interest in Bella. At the same time, I was resentful that Bella was so at ease with him, that she had found someone who she could relax with. Could she ever feel that way about me?

As the Friday workday began, the pharmacy received a delivery of intravenous fluids from the central supply room. Pete, a middle-aged, developmentally disabled staff assistant, pushed a hand truck with several cases that were ordered. His thoughts, and likely his face, grew happy when he saw Bella; he had already developed a fondness for her. He boomed "Hi Bella!" as if he was greeting her across some great distance, disregarding everyone else in the office. I could hear that this annoyed Janice, though she cared little for Pete and usually ignored him.

Bella returned his greeting with a cheerful "Hey Pete!" and smiled at him from her desk. Janice got up and grumbled, "Is this the order of 5% dextrose in water that I requisitioned yesterday?" Pete stared at her and handed her a slip, saying, "I don't know. This is what they gave me."

Janice grabbed the paper from him and inspected the cases on the hand truck. Exasperated, she heaved a sigh and said, "Peter, this is wrong. These are all 10% dextrose."

Pete got very flustered and began shuffling his feet. "I don't know, I don't know," he repeated. "They asked me to put these on the truck and bring them here." His voice grew louder; his face began turning red.

Again, Janice looked at the requisition slip and shoved it harshly under Pete's nose. "It says 5% here. The cases say 10%. Can't you read?" she snarled.

Suddenly, I heard Bella snap, "Janice, it's a simple mistake. I'm sure Pete can go back downstairs and exchange them." She smiled encouragingly at Pete, who grinned at her in relief.

Rick was taking in the entire incident, and I was also watching through his mind. He was amazed when Bella spoke up, thinking, Whoa! Brave girl! She is going to pay for that, though.

Infuriated, Janice whirled around to look at Bella, her own face dark red. I have never been less enticed by the pooling of blood in any human being.

"This is such a waste of time," she spluttered. "Now he has to go all the way back to the basement…"

"We have enough here for whatever solutions we need to mix for the next hour or so. I'm sure Pete can get it straightened out by then," Bella said calmly, smiling again at Pete. "Besides, it wasn't even his error. They gave him the wrong boxes downstairs."

She had Janice there, and Janice knew it. That only made her angrier. I heard the older woman's thoughts, so furious they were coming in fragments: "Impudent... arrogant…insolent little…how dare you!" She was about to speak when Larry stepped out of his office.

"Everything okay here?" He looked directly at Janice.

She sighed again, loudly and angrily. "We need more D5W, and Pete brought the wrong cases," she said.

"Well, I'm sure it'll be corrected. Come on, let's get to work." Larry walked back into his office, shaking his head. Honestly, she'll blow up over the simplest things. He knew this was one of those times it wouldn't make sense to say anything more to Janice.

Returning to Rick's thoughts, I saw that Pete had left and Janice was walking back to her desk. "Do not speak to me like that again in front of Pete, or anyone else for that matter," she said stiffly to Bella.

Bella looked up from her desk again, frowning, her eyes flashing. "It wasn't his fault! And he felt terrible. There was no need to berate him like that – it was very unfair. He was embarrassed, too," she said firmly.

Janice inhaled deeply. Rick and I waited from our vantage points, although I knew what she was thinking and I wondered if she would actually spit out the vicious words that were gathering in her mind. But she only retorted, "Don't talk to me like that again," huffing each word for emphasis.

Bella regarded her for another moment, did not reply and then resumed her work. Rick watched her in amazement. Damn! That was just…damn!

"Damn right, Rick," I murmured to myself. I was astonished that the girl who seemed so cowed by my hateful glaring could muster such indignation on behalf of someone incapable of defending himself. This day was already worth far more than the sacrifice of my other pursuits in order to watch Bella. I had seen her compassion with her elderly landlady. And now, I saw her strength of character as she defended Pete in the face of Janice's wrath. It couldn't have been easy for her. She was only in her second week of work here, and she was still establishing relationships with her coworkers. Yet she didn't seem to care about that. She was obviously more concerned with standing up for what was right.

I marveled that my very short time watching Bella – immorally spying on her, really – was quickly revealing incredibly rare qualities. The inclinations of other humans were so much more selfish, habitual, or cowardly. I had long ago given up on any hope of hearing a mind that was truly different. Seeing all this unfold was a real gift. She didn't act, and apparently didn't think, like anyone else. It was impossible to predict what she would do or say next. I was captivated.

Unfortunately, I had some company in my appreciation of Bella's uniqueness. As I roamed the minds of other hospital staff, I heard her name in the thoughts of Tom Boylan from the hospital's public relations department. Tom wanted to run an article about Bella and to use the interview as an excuse to get closer to her. He had an entire plan mapped out, right down to the timing, but Bella threw him off his game by refusing to cooperate. Although he thought she would be flattered to be featured in the next issue of the hospital's newsletter, she declined. I heard his shock at the horror on her face when he recalled approaching her about it. He was now trying to figure out the best way to get into her good graces after their first meeting.

I surmised from this that Bella didn't care for the limelight. In fact, she seemed quite shy. I thought again of her wide-eyed glance darting at me and then away, quickly, the first day we saw each other. It wasn't only fear that caused her to behave that way; it was also timidity. Yet she'd just stood up to Janice in a way that could hardly be called timid. What an intriguing contrast.

I watched later as John Blackhorse, a husky, strong orderly in the Emergency Room, introduced himself to Bella when she delivered some painkillers on Friday afternoon. He was not as forward as Tom but he was no less interested in her. Silently, as she walked away, John promised himself that he would make it his business to run into her as frequently as possible. These two men would undoubtedly be competing for her approval, but Bella seemed apathetic, if not downright annoyed, over their attention. I also found it irritating, although I knew I had no right to feel that way.

Sadness filled me as I realized that even though these other young men were unworthy of Bella, she would be better off with one of them. They, like her, would age and go through the ordinary stages of a human life. She would have companionship with them. Most of all, her life would not be in jeopardy with a normal man. I should not allow myself to have any special feelings for her. It was impractical and impossible.

I tried not to think of that now. I focused on listening to Bella's interactions with people from their point of view, as she went through her day. Never did I hear or see any indication that she ever mentioned anything about the way I treated her the morning of her first day on the job. She didn't say a word about me or even Carlisle. I found it hard to believe that my behavior hadn't left a mark, considering how frightened she'd looked. Either she'd put it out of her mind, or she was very discreet. I would find out more when she came to work next week. I realized I was looking forward to that. I wanted to set right the bad impression that I'd made, but not just because I had my family to look out for. I wanted her to think better of me.

My return to the pharmacy was uneventful as far as the work itself was concerned. Since it was the weekend, when only emergency admissions occur, I was alone both nights. In particular, Sunday's hours seemed to move very slowly, with few prescriptions to fill.

The brightening sky meant Monday's dawn was approaching, and I knew Bella would be at work in a few hours. My mind felt oddly twitchy, as if something was tickling me inside my head. I assumed this was because I didn't know exactly how our interaction would play out this morning. I was determined to talk to her, but concerned because I couldn't read her thoughts, and I was especially worried about my physical reaction to her. I felt reasonably sure I could control myself, but there was always the chance I would be overwhelmed.

Shortly before 8 a.m., I heard footsteps coming up the hall that I recognized as Bella's. And sure enough, her scent drifted ahead of her, wafting through the dropoff window as if it knew exactly where I was. I could hear her heartbeat thundering harder with every step. She likely knew I had worked through the night; she must be very nervous.

Her aroma was as overwhelming as the first time I experienced it. For a moment, the pull was all-consuming, and I fought hard to come back from it. The monster resurfaced, demanding attention, but I held him off. I had to gain control now, before the added intensity of her presence in the office.

I saw her pass the dropoff but she didn't glance into the room. She entered without saying a word, and hung up her coat. Bella was dressed professionally, which fit in with other pieces of her personality that I'd learned: she was serious about her work and wanted to make a good impression. Her hair was pulled away from her face and clipped in the back with a barrette, the length of it falling in loose waves past her shoulders. She was a transcendent study in contrasts, her dark brown hair and sapphire blue suit complementing her clear ivory skin.

Bella walked slowly toward her desk with her head down and he shoulders hunched, still not looking my way. There was a sadness about her that made me want to touch her hand and ask what was wrong. But that would be one of the worst things I could do. I had to focus on locking down all my instincts, and I could never risk the temptation that such closeness would present. Besides, she would likely find my ice-cold skin very repulsive. That stark reminder of our differences pained me. I wished I could find a safe way to comfort her.

I assumed it was my responsibility to speak first, since I had behaved so badly the last time she saw me. "Hello," I said gently after she sat down. Her head turned slightly in my direction and her gaze dipped to the floor before she looked up at me. Ah, that was it. She was frightened of me; she probably thought I would scowl at her again. She didn't even want to look directly at me. Her innate decency was forcing her to be polite.

"You must be Bella Swan. I'm sorry I didn't get the chance to introduce myself before." I was sorry for a good deal more than that, but I couldn't exactly explain it all. "I'm Edward Cullen."

"Right....hi. It's nice to meet you, Edward." My name on her lips sent a thrill through my core. If I had a heart, it would have swelled at the sound.

She was quiet for a few seconds after that. As if looking to fill the silence, she asked hurriedly, "Do you typically work nights?"

"Yes, although I'll be joining you later this week when Janice is out. How do you like Forks?"

Hesitantly, she replied, "I'm not really sure yet. I'm working on that. I have a lot to figure out."

What did she mean? Her response incited my curiosity, a burning flame which rivaled the sensation caused by my thirst. It was intoxicating to finally talk with her. I wanted to question her more but held back, waiting for her to elaborate. She looked at me intently, as if searching my features for answers to her own unarticulated questions. I must have looked foolish as I stared back. Was I boring her?

"It's been a big change for me, but I'm glad I made it," she added. Frustrating – that did nothing to clarify her statements.

She didn't say anything else, so I took the conversation in a somewhat benign direction. "Do you like the rain?" I asked. Knowing her mind was so different from everyone else, I was eager to hear her response.

But with that question, I'd used up the last of my breath. I shifted in my chair and leaned slightly away from her, trying hard to be inconspicuous about it, and drew in some air. The monster again reared its head with interest, as every sense I possessed enthralled to the sweet song of Bella's blood. Her fragrant essence was floral, compelling, delectable and somehow intimate, maybe because it was a part of her that only I could detect.

The fire enveloped my throat relentlessly while venom coated the back of my mouth. It hurt to sit there; it was torture, but I knew I had to stay with it. I disciplined myself to look in her eyes and concentrate there. Thinking of everything that awaited behind her warm gaze helped me control my dark impulses.

"Not so much," she replied, with a little smile. "It's different than where I come from."

"I guess New Jersey does have more sunshine. Anywhere in the continental United States would," I said.

"How did you know I'm from New Jersey?" she asked quickly.

Without thinking, I'd let slip some information I learned second hand. I quickly recovered from this mistake and used the excuse that Bella had been a topic of conversation throughout the hospital, even before her arrival. "Most people here seem to know that. It's unusual, for someone to move so far just to come to Forks."

"I'm sure I'm not the only one to do it. People relocate all the time," she noted.

Again without thinking, I responded, "Yes, I've moved around somewhat myself." I wanted to affirm her statements to seem supportive, but I'd left an opening for her to ask me some difficult questions. I quickly followed up with, "So, you don't like the wet weather but you moved here anyway. What made you decide to leave New Jersey?"

This was a mystery I'd wanted answered since I first became genuinely aware of her. Would she reveal the true reason? How would I know if she was honest? I gambled that she'd tell me the truth even though I'd acted insane and rude to her the first time I saw her.

"It's not a very interesting story," she said slowly, and a pained look came over her face. She shrugged her shoulders as if to indicate that it didn't matter, even though that clearly wasn't the case. I wished again that I could reach over to her and put my hand on hers, or make some other sympathetic gesture. Instead, I concentrated on making my voice as kind as possible.

"Oh, I'll bet that's not true." I hoped she would continue.

"I guess you could say it was the right thing for me to do," she said slowly. "I just...My boyfriend broke up with me earlier this year, and I realized I wanted to leave and see other parts of the country. I figured, now was the time." Suddenly, Bella looked very self-conscious. "You know, New Jersey has a reputation for its toxic waste. I had a toxic relationship. It was healthier to get far away from it."

I was touched by her apparent desire to put me at ease and joke in spite of her own obvious discomfort. She had just revealed so much to me. I felt I could now comprehend the expression on her face, which was often downcast. What imbecile could possibly hurt this compassionate, generous woman?

The irony of asking myself that question was not lost on me. She deserved someone who would appreciate her character and warmth without endangering her, emotionally or physically. I needed an appropriate response, though, and rather than dwell on this painful episode of her life, I just laughed at her wisecrack. I couldn't exactly launch into a diatribe against the man who had mistreated her, much as I'd like to.

"That's just a stereotype," I said about her New Jersey comment.

"It's accurate enough. But the negatives represent only a small part of what the state really is. I wish people were more open to its beauty," she replied.

"What do you mean?" Once again, she took me by surprise. I wasn't expecting that response, and I looked at her carefully, waiting so intensely that I forgot to blink.

"Anyone from outside the state seems more than willing to believe the worst about it. You know: a mob-infested pollution pit with ignorant residents and too many cars," she explained, sadness overtaking her features again. "Even those who have lived there all their lives think that way, as if they could never be better than that. New Jersey is so much more than its reputation."

There was a lack of superficiality to this conversation that delighted but did not astonish me. Her analysis was absorbing and perceptive. She considered things seriously, and she wasn't flippant. I saw now how sensitive she was to her surroundings, and I wondered again how much she suspected of me.

Right at that point, I ran out of air again. Bella had a tendency to talk with her hands – another habit I filed away with others I was learning about her. Enchanting as it was, the movement stirred the air and pushed her scent toward me. I needed to catch a quick breath and again try to do it inconspicuously. I focused on the significance of our talk as a way to ignore the burn engulfing my entire respiratory system when I inhaled.

Bella looked sheepish, as if she'd said too much. "Sorry. I must miss it more than I thought," she mumbled.

"Don't be sorry. That was actually quite poetic," I said, smiling. I was able to talk normally.

"Well, I'm no Walt Whitman or William Carlos Williams – both of whom are from New Jersey," she said, smiling back, "but I do believe that it's unfair, the way my home state is portrayed." Impressive, how she spontaneously cited two famous poets. I liked her reasoning. Every time she spoke, I felt dangerously compelled to respond with something personal.

"And you especially don't like anything that's unfair." I shouldn't have said that. I wanted to confirm what I knew to be true about her, but logically, how could I know that?

She blinked in surprise. "No, I don't, but at the same time I have to acknowledge that life is unfair."

"Was it unfair that you left your home when your relationship ended?" This was indeed a fascinating discussion, and I wanted to keep it going in spite of its recklessness.

Bella looked almost wounded. "Possibly. But it was my decision to go."

I wanted to soothe whatever I had stirred up. "It's quite a drastic reaction, to leave the place you were born and raised because of a failed romance," I pointed out quietly.

She raised her chin somewhat defiantly. "That's not entirely correct. It motivated me, but it wasn't the only reason. As I said, I wanted to make a change," she said flatly.

"I don't understand." Just when I believed I was getting a sense of her thoughts, she threw me off.

"Actually, I'm not sure I do, either." Hearing that was a relief to me. "I know my intuition told me to go, to take a chance at living on my own in a different place. And I also know that I do myself a great disservice, and create the most problems for myself, when I fail to listen to my intuition," she said, looking away for a moment. "Besides, haven't you ever found that putting distance between you and a problem helps you see your way to some type of resolution?"

I was stunned. Here I was, expending a lot of effort to make sense of her, and in one sentence she'd summarized the exact need I'd had to meet the greatest challenge of my immortal existence and return to my family. "I have found that to be true, definitely," I said slowly. "So your stay here is temporary, then? Do you intend to work out the problems and return to your boyfriend?" My thirst could be controlled but my curiosity could not.

"No, that's over," she said firmly, looking at her hands.

Despite the finality of the words, her tone made me realize she was not through this breakup. I wished there was something meaningful I could say, although I was still a stranger to her and for all she knew, still unpredictable. I had yet another impulse to comfort her, and although I still didn't understand it, I knew it was as strong as anything else I'd ever felt.

I settled for trying to show her that I saw what she was really feeling. "It may be finished, but I think it's not completely over for you," I said reflectively.

She quickly turned to me, furious, but then her eyes softened when they met mine. "Yes," she said solemnly. "That's probably what I'm working on here, as I said earlier."

I didn't respond right away; I was deeply satisfied that I got it right. I continued looking in her eyes, trying to think.

"Did you get contact lenses?" she asked suddenly.

"No." Where did that come from, I wondered.

"Your eyes look different than they did last week," she said.

How foolish. I had hunted almost continuously in preparation for this day, but the first time we met, my thirst was two weeks' strong. Most humans won't look in our faces long enough to notice the change in eye color, but Bella clearly did. Given her observant nature, she noticed the difference.

I immediately looked away from her. "No. Maybe it's the lights."

Larry then stepped into the doorway of his office and asked to see me. It was 8 a.m., and others were arriving for work -- Janice, and then Rick.

I wanted to leave on a positive note. "Well, Bella, I hope you have a good week. I'm sure things will get better for you as time goes on," I said, hoping it actually conveyed what I felt and did not sound false.

"Thank you," she replied. She looked at me intently. "It was nice talking with you." I smiled at her again before walking into Larry's office.