*Disclaimer - Sadly, I own nothing of Twilight with the exception of merchandise, bought and paid for. I do, however, own my love for borrowing the characters and playing with them however I choose to. I thank Stephenie Meyer for creating the TwiWorld and for allowing us to have our fun with it. She owns Twilight, the insanity it created in my mind is my own.

Thanks to Shug, my beta-reader and master fixer-upper. :)

Whatever Works

Nowhere Man

Edward was in his room, pacing when I went up. His hair was standing on end in every direction from tugging on it – something he did when he was uneasy or frustrated. Upon seeing me, the anger in his face dropped, and he smiled, wrapping me in his arms.

"Finally! God, that felt like the longest day! I just wanted to come home and do this…" He lowered his head to brush his lips against mine, moaned, and then parted my lips with the tip of his tongue to deepen it into a very pleasing kiss.

I kept my arms wrapped around his neck when we separated. "Is everything okay? Things looked tense downstairs."

"Yeah, yeah… just Alice being Alice. Don't worry about it."

"I am though. Your sister doesn't like me, does she?"

He made a face at my remark. "It's not you. It's… the situation. It's me, really. I hate that you're caught up in it. Please don't concern yourself with Alice. This is one particular portion of my life in which I don't give a fuck what she thinks."

Ah. So she did hate me. I tried not to sulk. Not to care. She appeared to have some sort of split personality anyway – the one she had with Esme and Jasper, and Edward when they were one-on-one, whispering together. The other side showed her to be quite a nasty little brat who appreciated nothing and had a strong opinion on everything. What did it matter if she liked me anyway? Her mother and brother did. Her boyfriend too, for that matter. It still stung, however.

Edward was determined to move away from the subject. " Thank you for last night, by the way. Your concern was touching." His playful grin extended up into his eyes. The emeralds were clear today. "And I apologize for the bong dong. If I'd known you were coming back I wouldn't have hit it. I just wanted to get to sleep fast, and that does it when I'm overtired."

I was holding in a laugh over his terminology. I had a vague idea of what it meant, and it was just too embarrassing to get into with him. "Is that what Alice is upset about?"

His eyebrows raised above his tickled eyes as a repressed smile played with his lips. "I don't generally discuss such matters with my sister."

I turned eight shades of red and slapped my forehead. "No! I mean… the bong… drugs… whatever you're using."

He laughed outright and took my hand to lead me to the couch. "I smoke a little pot, Bella. That's all. Occasionally hash, like last night. It hits me harder, thus the limp dick syndrome."

"It doesn't last, by the way," I blurted and immediately regretted even heading into this conversation when he laughed harder.

"Were you checking me out, Ms. Swan?"

I sat on the very edge of the couch, unable to look at him. "I felt it. I don't mean I felt it… I mean it moved… against me… when you were sleeping. Oh god… this is just… I'm sorry…"

Edward placed his hand on my back, rubbing gentle circles as his laughter dwindled to snickers. "That idiot that walked away from you… James? He wasn't ever affected that way?"

"What?" My cheeks flamed, displaying the shame I felt over my naiveté. I tried to sound mature about it. "An erection during sleep cycles? I'm sure he did, it's normal. I never spent the night with him though, so I wouldn't really know."

A small sound came from behind me, and I knew he was choking back more laughter. "I meant the other thing." He paused and cleared his throat. I assumed he was going to be mature about this as well. "Bella, there are two variations of bong dong. Type 1 – complete impotence. No amount of action can get it going. With Type 2, you can get it up, just not get off… not to be confused with the Viagra effect. It's enduring, sure, but it's an exercise in frustration that's just not worth it. I wouldn't put you through that. If a bong dong were ever to be utilized for a first time, it would most certainly be the last as well. It lacks quality. Instant sexual doom."

Or not be mature about it…

Bad enough that I already felt socially inferior to him, with his vast knowledge of sex and drugs and a whole lifestyle I knew nothing about. I felt like an innocent teenager. "Oh."

"Too much information?" The little boy in him snickered.

"You're Type 2, I take it."

He eased me back as he wrapped a leg on either side of me and nuzzled at my neck. "On occasion. I'll lay off the bong, for your sake, when we get there."

"How generous and romantic of you," I quipped, slapping his thigh.

He remained silent for a minute, and I was afraid I'd injured his ego. I was about to apologize when his arms slipped tenderly around my waist. "You raise the bar for me, Bella. I've never really had to be either of those, but for you, I want to learn how to be both."

~ 0 ~

After that day, something had changed; I could feel a tension between mother and daughter. Jasper was never far from Alice's side and frequently bent to whisper in her ear, after which she would either look away haughtily or retreat altogether. She watched me. Constantly. Esme called on me more for physical help than companionship. And Edward was distant… until our time alone upstairs each night.

"We're going to have to find my mother a new friend," Edward murmured against my neck. "I'll miss this time with you too much."

"Let's not waste it then," I replied, pulling his head up to kiss his busy mouth. It was Alice and Jasper's last night with Esme, and we had to be up by 6 a.m. to see them off.

He moaned against my mouth and lay back, pulling me down on top of him as the kiss intensified. I felt his hands reaching up under the bottom of my shirt, and his long fingers roamed up and down my back. "You should take this off," he whispered. "It's tight, and my hands are too big to work constricted like this."

"Your sister's here," I reminded him.

"She is? Where?" He poked his head up and craned around looking for her. "I know she's the size of pixie dust, but I just don't see her anywhere."

I giggle-snorted against his neck, wanting to give in to him. "Are we ready for this?"

"It's a piece of fabric removed, not your hymen, Bella. I've seen you… touched you even… in your bikini. This is no different."

"It is though," I bemoaned, feeling every bit a prudish old hen. "It's underwear. And I'm not even wearing nice underwear."

"So take that off too. I'm easy," he said with a waggle of his eyebrow. "Okay, we'll do it your way. Come here."

I sighed as he kissed me slow and easy. The man really knew how to kiss. Just the right pressure, the right amount of tongue, the right wetness… and he had perfect timing with lip sucking and nibbling. His hands found my bare back again just as he began his nibble routine, sending an electric jolt up my spine. As I arched my back, I felt him twitch behind his jeans, reminding me that he was as worked up as I was, but he was being the generous lover he had vowed to be. I decided that if he could restrain himself, I could be less of a prude. Sitting up, I yanked my shirt over my head, and tossed it to the floor before diving back down to return to his mouth.

"Wait, wait, wait!" His protest was soft and light-hearted. "You can't do that and not let me see! Sit up for me?"

Sucking on the lip that he had just had in his mouth, I slowly sat up and then back a little, allowing him to hold onto my wrists so I wouldn't cover myself out of instinctive modesty. He grew harder underneath me, and I shifted my weight so I wouldn't hurt him.

He grunted and pressed his head back against the cushions on the couch. "If I asked you to do that again…"

With a low laugh, I did it without him asking. He sucked in a breath and held my hips for a moment, staring into my eyes. "Can I come back down to you now?"

He shook his head slowly. "I'm coming to you."

It was my turn for a sharp breath when he sat up with me still straddling him, effectively sliding me down along his lengthy shaft. If it felt that good with jeans, yoga pants, and two pairs of underwear between us, I could only imagine…

"Oh my god!" I whimpered when he tipped his head down and licked from my collarbone down into the valley between my breasts. He snickered and kept up his slow torment with his mouth. His lips, tongue, and teeth were everywhere except where I needed them to be right then. I kept twisting slightly to urge him towards one mound or the other, but the closest contact I got was bumping one of the girls against his nose. He gave it another nudge when I hissed at the contact and then went straight to my shoulder.

My dream of him 'making love to my arm' was brought to mind, and I thought it wasn't really far off the mark. This man didn't even need a penis or hands to make love… though both were feeling exquisite at the moment. I pressed my hips tighter against his and moved to create friction for both of us, causing him to shudder and groan before returning to nibble on my neck. I was gripping his hair with both hands, lifting and lowering my hips to the rhythm of his mouth, utterly frantic to feel it on more sensitive flesh. With more reckless abandon than I'd ever displayed, I reached behind my back and unclasped my bra before flinging it to the floor with my shirt. My chest heaved in front of him as I panted, and he grunted.

"Bella…"

I took one of his hands from my hip and placed it on my breast – just in case he needed a little reminder of what to do next. He looked remarkably like a young teenager getting his first naked grope, and it boosted my own confidence. I gripped his hand, pressing my fingers between his, and began kneading my breast with both of our hands together that way.

"Fuck… Bella… you don't make it easy for a guy to take things slow." His mouth claimed mine with sudden desperation, and he began kneading on his own free will. His other hand even joined in to take care of business with its twin.

When his beautiful, sensuous mouth replaced a hand, my eyes practically rolled back in my head. Sitting back as he tasted and thrilled me, a sudden vibration against the back of my thigh startled me. Jesus… he's a full body lover, has the mouth of a sex god, and he vibrates?

He mumbled an obscenity against my breast and pulled away as he slipped his hand under my leg. "Someone has the shittiest timing ever. Sorry." Removing his phone from his pocket, he took a quick glance and placed it on the floor with my discarded clothing. He then added his own t-shirt to the pile. "Okay. No more distractions."

Returning his attention to me, he tried to pick up where we left off. Even without a persistent buzzing in his pants, he was obviously distracted. "Edward, you can take that if you want."

"Your right breast?" He looked at me, bemused. "Lovely gift, Bella. Thank you. I'll cherish it."

Smiling, I caressed his cheek gently. "Your phone call. It must be important at this time of night – I'll wait for you."

His twinkling emerald eyes displayed a mixture of emotions: gratitude, regret, longing, admiration. He blinked rapidly and kissed my forehead, whispering, "Thank you for this."

I lifted myself off his lap and crossed my arms over my chest, suddenly very self-conscious as his phone buzzed again on the floor. He smiled at me as he reached for it, then held my hand as he dialled and spoke to the anonymous caller. "Hi. Can you give me a minute?" The phone was set down briefly while he passed me a shirt – his shirt – and helped me put it over my head, gently pulling my hair to the outside once it was on. Then he kissed me softly and whispered, "I'll be right back." He took his phone and stepped out onto the balcony without pulling the door entirely closed behind him.

Like a nosy wench, I listened in to his side of the conversation.

"Sorry about that. What's up?

"When?

"It can't wait until –

"No, I understand that, but I –"

There was a lengthy silence while he listened to his caller. I hugged myself, in his shirt, drawing my knees up to my chin. He was going to go out. Damn me and my 'take your call' plea!

"I know. You're right. It is best. I just wish I could get all my obligations here tidied up before –"

Am I one of his obligations?

"Alice is leaving tomorrow –

"Yeah, yeah… Jasper and I got sorted. We're great." His sexy low laugh resonated through the open door. "We're getting there anyway. I'm feeling quite positive towards… a lot of things, yeah. So this will be good, right? We'll be good after it's all straightened away –

"I wish it was already done too. Mags, I'm sorry…" His voice dropped off into a murmur, and a chill passed through me. He sounded exactly like when he apologized to me for any disappointment he felt he'd caused. I bolted for the bathroom, not wanting to hear another word that would make me doubt his sincerity with me.

He was still outside when I returned some time later, and I considered turning around or leaving altogether, but then I heard him singing softly so I stepped forward.

"He's a real nowhere man, sitting in his nowhere land…"

I watched him and listened to his soft crooning. He was staring out over his property, leaning on the railing. "He's as blind as he can be, just sees what he wants to see –"

"Nowhere man, can you see me at all?" I sang in a whisper at the door.

He dropped his head, chuckling as he turned to look at me. "More and more, you're all I see. You were gone. I thought you'd given up on me."

I stepped outside to join him, noticing a cigarette in his hand for the first time. "You smoke?"

He took a drag, squinting as the smoke swirled up and into his eyes. "No." He grinned impishly, blowing out. "Well, if my mother asks, I quit. I did quit. I'll quit again… I just…" He sighed and puffed again, returning to his stance against the railing.

Damn if he didn't even make smoking look sexy. "Jasper told me about your book," I said to get my mind off his lips on something other than me, and his mind off whatever was eating at him. "Congratulations. That was a real accomplishment!"

He chuckled. "It was a story derived from a night with a few stoned kids. It never should have done anything. It got lucky – it happened to be in the right place at the right time – and then it fell apart. It's my story, you know. Not just written by me, it is me. Evan, the main character, was me. By the time it hit New York, it changed into something it wasn't – also me. The end result was not something it was intended to be. See the correlation there? I wrote a fucking prophetic sci-fi story of my life at fifteen."

"Jasper said it was a love story," I commented softly.

He smiled, taking a drag. "Hmm. So you think I'm putting too much thought into what it spiralled into, rather than the original theme?"

"I haven't read it, so I can't say for sure…"

"My mum has a copy back at the house in London. You'd be doing yourself a favor by not reading it. It's rubbish." He took one last drag and stubbed his cigarette out, then popped a peppermint in his mouth.

"You're too hard on yourself."

He turned and looked at me thoughtfully. "You give me too much credit. You see what you want to see… what I want to be. But I'm not there yet. I'm flotsam, drifting towards a harbor but the tide hauls me back, eroding my soul."

I stared at him in wonderment and then looked around. "Okay, where's the bong?"

Edward's cheeks flushed, and he lowered his head, chuckling softly. "No bong, Bella. Just my crazy, mixed up head. I want to go back in time."

"To when?" I asked, leaning my back against the railing so I faced him. "When would you like to start over from?"

"Ummm… half an hour ago?" His playful grin emerged. "I had my lips around something wonderful, and I wasn't finished tasting that delicacy. Come back inside?"

I took his extended hand and went in with him. He locked up and turned back to me, wetting his lips before a soft kiss. It lacked the urgency of his earlier kisses, but it was sweet and warm, and made me dizzy none-the-less.

"We should take this to a more suitable setting," he murmured against my lips before tracing tiny, spark-filled kisses down my throat.

Oooh, that mouth is going to be the death of me… "I'm not going to have sex with you." I clenched my face shut in horror. Where the hell did that come from?

He froze and slowly pulled away. "Okay. I should take the condom off then?"

My eyes flew open as my mouth did. "You actually…?" Then I saw his look of amusement and gave him a slap as he erupted in laughter. I slapped him repeatedly, only making him laugh harder until he grasped my wrists and calmed me.

"I love making you blush. You're pretty. So incredibly pretty." He pulled my hands up to his lips and placed several tiny kisses on them. "Earlier, you were hot… sexy. The way you bounce from one to the other is immensely appealing. Bella, if you had offered me sex tonight, I would have taken it – but I don't expect it. Not from you."

"Well now I feel stupid," I mumbled, lost in his solemn gaze.

He shook his head. "Don't. Don't ever feel stupid with me. I'm the stupid one in this relationship. Always remember that and always, always speak your mind. I want to know what you're thinking, I really do."

I'm thinking about your warm kisses and gentle hands on my skin, and wondering who the girl is that you were just talking to. Has she ever refused sex with you? Has she tasted you? Every part of you, like I want to? I know your mouth would have been all over her… "I want to stay here and sleep with you – one last night."

Closing his eyes as though he were in pain, he pressed his forehead to mine, and I waited for him to say something. Anything. Words never came; instead he led me in silence to his bedroom where he tucked his fingers in the waistband of my pants and tugged them down. He placed my hands on his shoulders, and I lifted one leg at a time for him to pull them off, and then he got me into bed, wearing only my panties and his shirt. After stripping his own jeans off, he climbed in and pulled me into his arms. Our silent embrace lasted through the night. Neither of us slept worth a damn.

A/N ~ *waves* Hi new readers and/or first-time reviewers! Welcome! I suck at replies for the most part, please forgive my failure and accept my genuine gratitude for your support. I do read, and value, each and every comment. :D
Alice and her attitude will leave in the next chapter. I know you'll all miss her. (Um, you do get my sarcasm by now, right? ;) ) Don't cry too many tears - she reappears closer to the end of the story. I apologize for that.
How are we feeling about Edward now? Is he sincere or acting?
Heads up - the next chapter may possibly be a bit late. I'm taking a long weekend and don't know what I'll be doing come Monday morning. If I had Alice's gift of foresight... ;) Anyway, if I'm up and around, I'll post as usual. Thanks all! Much love! xx ~ SR