Edward, Chapter 6

The hours of my shift were ending, and it was now 7:45 a.m. I had been thinking about Bella on and off all night, more so as the time of her arrival drew near. In preparation for seeing her again and being in close proximity, I fed nearly every day this week, since it seemed to take the edge off my thirst. It was a safety precaution; overall, my desire for her blood was less than its previous level when we were in each other's company, though it never completely went away. I wondered what she'd done since I saw her last; if she was finally in possession of the cat, and, I hoped, still enjoying her coffee.

A familiar smell caught me off guard. It wasn't the one I was expecting right now -- this was vampire, not human, and not Carlisle, either. It was Alice.

In seconds she appeared at the dropoff, pixie grin and spiky hair in place.

"Alice?" I said cautiously, drawing out her name. "What are you doing here?"

"I was on my way to school and I told Jasper we needed to stop at the hospital for a minute," she said, apparently thinking this was sufficient explanation.

"But why?" I asked. I had a bad feeling about this, and her evasiveness wasn't helping. Also, she was working hard to hide her thoughts – never a good sign.

"Well, he thinks you have a calculator I need for class today. But really..." she said, and her gaze suddenly shifted away from mine, "I was just curious."

"....about?"

"Um, Bella."

I almost exploded until I remembered Adam was at his desk not far away. "What? Why?"

She shrugged her tiny shoulders and looked at me defiantly. "I want to see what she looks like."

I shook my head. "Not necessary. Come on, I'm just about ready to leave. I'll walk you out." I'd have to depart a few minutes before my usual time to make sure Alice didn't pull any stunts.

I explained to Adam that I was needed at home, grabbed my backpack and swung open the pharmacy door. "What do you mean, you want to see what she looks like?" I hissed.

Alice frowned. "I've only seen her in my visions. You've never known any woman who's appeared to me like that – none who aren't family, anyway. I thought I'd come here this morning since you were working and Bella gets here before you leave."

I sighed. "Alice, why are you complicating this? I've already explained to you –"

We were near the door to the garage, and suddenly Alice gasped and stopped in her tracks. I looked at her quickly as her vision echoed in my own mind. It was Bella, in the middle of the aisle of the garage, with an out-of-control station wagon careening straight toward her. My head whipped around to confirm what Alice saw as the real Bella stood frozen, staring at my sister and I. In mere seconds, the car would hit her.

NO. I cannot let this happen.

Without thinking of the ramifications, I shoved open the door and ran, with inhuman speed, to where she was standing. I grimaced as I collided with her, because even though I slowed down at the last possible second, I knew my strength could cause as much injury as the vehicle.

We were both on the ground and I scurried over to a space between two parked cars, dragging Bella with me. The driver's frantic braking caused the car to swerve and come right at us as I pulled her to safety. Only my feet were free, so I quickly kicked at the car's rear wheel. The force pushed it away and tipped it sideways before it fell back, crashing to the ground.

The wife, pregnant and near delivery in the back seat, screamed and cried as her husband tried vainly to control the vehicle. From where Bella and I lay, I could hear his thoughts, which were a river of panic, shock and disbelief.

I knew the car's occupants weren't hurt, only badly frightened. My first priority was to make sure Bella was uninjured, or to get her straight to the ER if she was. I was so terrified of what may have happened to her that I could barely speak.

"Bella, are you all right?" I finally asked, trying to keep the fear out of my voice.

She remained in the same position on the ground, stunned. "I - yes, I think so."

Relief flooded through me as I heard her speak coherently. I watched her, savoring the nearness even as it caused me physical agony. Ignoring the flames that were consuming my throat, I focused on her lovely eyes, which were wide but not fearful. As we were still on the ground, with my arm around her, I could feel the defined shape of her waist, a warm, delicate curve beneath her jacket.

All around us, the professional training kicked in as a dozen hospital staff descended on the crash scene. Once they determined the pregnant woman was uninjured but in imminent danger of delivering in the garage, they quickly moved the couple to the labor and delivery unit.

Awareness lit Bella's expression and she asked, "The woman in the car -- is she okay?

She had just taken a harsh fall and was possibly hurt, yet her first concern was for another person. I marveled at her compassion. "Other than being in labor, yes, she is," I replied, wishing for the umpteenth time that I could read her thoughts.

Then she asked, "Was that your sister?"

"What?" For a second I didn't think I'd got that right, even though my hearing was better than any other species.

"The woman who was with you -- is she your sister?"

I had to laugh – make that the umpteenth-plus-one time I wanted to know her mind. I couldn't believe she would ask that with everything that was going on around us. "Yes, that's my sister Alice." Curious, I inquired, "Why do you want to know that?"

"Where is she? She must be worried about you."

So that was it. Alice would certainly be worried, but not for the reason that Bella assumed. "She can't get here with this mess around us," I said, not quite answering her question.

Bella tried to get up but I lightly held her down. There was no chance I would let her walk away until qualified medical personnel thoroughly examined her. "No, stay right where you are. You might be injured," I instructed her.

"I really think I'm okay," she protested.

"You aren't hurt anywhere? What about your head?"

Bella looked as if she hadn't considered that. "I don't think I hit it, but I'm not sure." Her confusion did nothing to set my mind at ease. "My knee seemed to absorb most of the blow."

I reached down to check her leg carefully, thankful that I didn't smell any blood. Her pants showed no evidence of bloodstains, but the cloth on her right knee was torn and frayed from being dragged across the concrete. "Your suit is ruined. I'm sorry about that," I said ruefully.

"No, believe me, it's okay. Function over form is fine when you're saving my life." Bella laughed a little, and although I couldn't be certain, I thought she found my concern over her clothing somewhat comical. Trust her to find humor in a situation which could have been fatal. I couldn't reply at the moment; I was staring at her again, enjoying our closeness in these most perverse circumstances. I heard the pace of her heartbeat quicken, and then she broke the silence.

"How did you get to me so fast?"

Oh, no. I would have to lie to her. "Bella, I was right here."

"You were over there with your sister," she said, and motioned toward the hospital entrance.

"No, Bella, I was here. I was walking ahead of her to unlock my car. It's just a few spaces away." I stared at her intently, willing her to believe my story. My gaze roamed over her features, again taking in her eyes, and her mouth.

She was a little confused but not thrown off. "No. I saw you by the door. Both of you," she insisted.

I was about to repeat my fiction when one of the lab technicians yelled, "Down here! It's Bella and Edward! Get some more gurneys!"

"I'm alright. I don't need any help. We have to get Bella to the ER -- she needs x-rays of her knee, and she may have a head injury," I said as I jumped up, grateful for the interruption.

Bella's whisper floated up from the pavement. "You fell too. You should also get checked out." I was certain she didn't mean for me to hear that, but of course I did. Without thinking over the wisdom of responding, I told her, "I'm not hurt. I don't know whether we can say the same for you, though. Let's get you inside."

John Blackhorse rushed toward us after the technician called out. I heard his thoughts as he approached: What the hell happened? Is she hurt? I hear someone talking… And then, horror as he saw Bella and I on the ground. "Bella! Bella, are you okay?"

I was irritated at his intrusion. I would have preferred taking care of her myself, but as long as he was here, I would have to include him. He was an orderly and thus was responsible for helping accident victims. "She isn't seriously injured, but she needs medical attention. I'm sure that car won't be gone for awhile, though," I explained as I motioned to the destroyed station wagon.

It would be difficult in some ways for me to pick up Bella and hold her, but I was damned if I'd let John do that, even if he could fit in the space Bella and I occupied. "I'd rather not move her, but the only way we can get her out is if I lift her up. Do you have a gurney right here?" I asked him.

At these words, Bella moaned, "No." Her voice was so pained I believed she must have moved something that was wounded.

"What is it? Does something else hurt you?" I waited, my fists clenched against the possibility of a bad injury and my breath held against the migrating fragrance of her blood. She was blushing a great deal right now.

"It isn't that. Please, do you have to pick me up and wheel me into the hospital?" she said, whining.

"I really don't think you can climb over these cars and sprint into the building," I said, amused. I should have known this was her problem, considering how much she hates attention.

Bella scowled. "I wasn't planning to race you there."

She'd made me laugh again, right before I had to do the most difficult thing since meeting her – possibly the most difficult thing in my immortality. "I'm going to lift you now. I'll try my best not to jostle you too much," I said quickly.

Cursing the eternal life that made it impossible for me to be near her without wanting to kill her, I swiftly handed her over to John. If I was a normal man, I would have prolonged it as surely as I knew John would. But then, if I was a normal man, Bella would probably not be alive right now.

Bella's entire face and neck were a wild shade of red. As soon as John carried her an adequate distance, I finished exhaling and watched them. I would give anything to be in John's place, moving her to safety instead of imperiling her life. Dimly, I was aware that Alice was walking toward me, but I was too furious over the contents of John's roaming thoughts to pay much attention until she spoke.

"Well, brother, that was quite a show," she said carefully.

"Do you think anyone saw?" I asked. Our voices were very low so no one could hear.

"Yeah, I think someone saw. She did," Alice said, glancing at Bella.

I sighed. "I know. I mean, anyone else."

Alice shook her head. "Don't believe so. Until they found you, everyone was concerned about the couple in the car. No one said anything about the crash itself."

My expression hardened from what I heard in her thoughts. "What was I supposed to do, stand there and let her die?" I hissed.

"That's not it," she said, glancing at Bella again. "This is going to be a problem in so many ways. You know it's not going to sit well with some of our siblings." She looked at me significantly.

"I'll deal with that later. I'm going to stay here and see if she says anything," I said grimly. "Carlisle is on duty. With any luck, he'll be the physician who examines her and then he and I can talk before we arrive home."

Alice touched my arm softly. "Do you want me to say anything to the others? If they get the chance to blow up first, things may calm down a little by the time you get home."

"That could help. I'll leave it up to you as to whether you want to put yourself in that position." I kissed her forehead. "See you later."

The ER nurse had fastened a plastic orthopedic collar around Bella's neck, and I could feel the waves of her aggravation from where I stood. I had to smile. I was in for a mighty bad storm when I got home, but for now, I was quite sure that Bella was alright, and that mattered most.

We walked to the emergency room, and I helped the nurse park the gurney in one of the curtained stalls. Rick Sandoval and Phil Twogood came running in, hesitating until they found where Bella had been situated.

"Bella! Oh my God, are you all right?" Rick said, eyes wide with worry.

I thought I knew her well enough to predict she would start kidding to set everyone at ease. "Just making a spectacular entrance," she said, smiling. Yes –got that right.

"Bad joke. You must have hit your head," Rick scoffed, clearly relieved.

"Wait'll you see what I do tomorrow," Bella said, moving her eyebrows up and down like Groucho Marx.

A little jealous, I didn't want Rick to be the only one who teased her so fondly. "Don't encourage her," I warned him, earning an acerbic glance from Bella.

In the meantime, my hearing also noted Carlisle's footsteps in the hall. He'd learned what happened without knowing all the details; the hospital grapevine was active as ever. I'm on my way, Edward. I'll have to look at Bella first, of course, but as soon as practical, you and I will talk. His thoughts showed only concern for her, no anger or displeasure at me. My father would wait to hear my side before passing judgment.

"My first patient of the day! Well, Bella, what happened?" Carlisle swept aside the curtain, smiling in greeting at all of us.

Bella became even more self-conscious. "I fell," she replied.

Carlisle laughed and looked at her kindly. "I figured it was something like that. Can you be a little more specific?"

Strained, I watched her closely, waiting for her response. She seemed to think carefully before saying each word. "I was walking from my car to the entrance when the station wagon came up the ramp and the driver lost control. Edward was there and he jumped ahead of the car and pulled me away, into a space between two parked cars." She omitted a few key details, much to my relief.

Carlisle began a routine examination, questioning her as he went along. He checked her head, her knee and her vision. It appeared that the leg injuries were only bruises, but he ordered x-rays to be sure.

I'm assuming, based on what she said, that you were near when all this happened, Carlisle thought. He glanced at me as he shifted his stance to hold her leg. I moved my eyes up and down in an affirmative response that likely wouldn't be caught by human eyes.

You look concerned. Bella must have seen something. She's safe, though, so no matter what, you did the right thing. My father's words were comforting. I hoped he repeated them later during the inevitable showdown with the rest of our family.

I know Alice was in the hospital this morning. Let's do what we have to here and then talk later. Again, I gave a brief response with my eyes.

John distracted me from this private conversation by offering to transport Bella to the x-ray department. There was no way I would allow that, and it wasn't simply because of my concern over what Bella had witnessed.

Carlisle turned to leave but Bella spoke. "Dr. Cullen, how is the woman who was in the car?" she asked, deep concern in her eyes.

He was touched by her worry. She's really quite selfless, isn't she? he thought.

"She didn't have any injuries, fortunately. She's in labor now. Judging by the way things were progressing, it shouldn't be much longer for her," Carlisle replied.

"I'll have to meet that baby later. We've got a bit of a connection now," Bella said, smiling. I had no doubt she'd remember to do that.

I grabbed the foot of the gurney and began pulling it out of the ER. Both John and Bella regarded me with surprise, but I wasn't concerned, particularly over John. I knew I had the perfect reason why I, instead of he, should stick around while she was in x-ray. "I can stay with her from here on in, John. I know you have to return to the ER," I noted.

John tried arguing with me but I would not be dissuaded. Disgusted, he plodded back to work.

Bella and I watched him until he was gone from view, and then I heard her say quietly, "Thank you. I don't want to feel any more indebted to him than I already do."

"You're welcome," I replied. Pleased as I was to have her all to myself again, I knew things were about to become very difficult for me.

"But I owe you the biggest thanks out of everyone. If you hadn't seen me and pulled me out of the way, I would be dead," she said softly, staring at me keenly.

"You owe me no debt at all. Any decent person would have done the same thing," I said, trying to counter her humility.

"Please don't make this seem smaller than it is," she said plaintively, and I was struck by her sincerity. Few would have expressed it so emotionally, and in such choice words. Her gratitude touched me to the center of my being.

And then came the question I'd feared. "How did you do that?" she whispered.

Trying to cover, I said hastily, "Do what? Bella, I told you, I was right there –"

"I'll get to that in a minute," she said, cutting me off. She was after something else right now. "How did you stop the car?"

"It hit the car next to us. The crash stopped it." I did my best to look baffled but I wasn't fooling her.

"No," she said firmly. "I know what I saw."

I kept my gaze locked on hers for as long as I could. I knew that if I looked away now, I would lose. "What do you think you saw?"

"I know I saw you at the hospital entrance. You were there with your sister. And then I saw the car coming straight for me. Next thing I know, I'm on the ground and you're right by my side, pulling me between the parked cars. The station wagon kept coming, and you kicked it. You kicked it so it not only stopped, it moved back and the entire car tipped on its side."

I felt all my muscles tighten as she spoke in a rush. She had seen everything. But my contradiction made her nervous; she seemed scared to speak the truth. As usual, she blushed in her discomfort, which didn't exactly help my situation, either. The venom coated my mouth and I swallowed it.

"Do you have any idea how crazy that sounds?" I tried to deflect her observations without actually denying them.

"Do you have any idea how crazy that looked?" She was starting to cry, she was so upset.

My immortal life, its fabric woven thoroughly with deceit, falsehood, and concealment, had never been so worthless. I had to convince this brave, truthful girl that she could not trust her own eyes. I couldn't bear to look at her; against my better judgment but to spare my sanity, I glanced away from her pleading eyes. "No one would believe you. You could have hit your head," I murmured.

"I. Would. Never. Tell. Anybody," she whispered angrily, a catch in her voice. I was now officially the most callous monster of all time. I'd made her cry with my denials, lies and calumny, just to selfishly protect my own existence.

The x-ray technician called for Bella, saving me from the difficult task of figuring out what to say next. I pushed the gurney into the exam room and stepped around to lift her up and set her below the scanning equipment. Still furious, she dismissed my help, saying "I can walk."

Her attitude was surely justified, but I was concerned that she shouldn't move yet. "We don't know the extent of your injuries. Just behave for a minute here, okay?" I sounded harsher than I wanted. My rage was directed at myself, though of course she couldn't know that.

Bella appeared to be debating the wisdom of my words, and I took advantage of her indecisiveness to lift her and gently place her on the table. "I'll wait outside until you're done," I said reassuringly.

"Don't bother. I've inconvenienced you enough," she replied. She wouldn't look at me.

"I'll wait," I said with a sigh.

I tried to think while Bella's x-rays were completed. What could I possibly tell her that would make sense to her but would not imperil my family? There was no solution except to continue lying, although I knew she wouldn't believe me. I admired her for that, even as it made my situation all the more complicated

I had saved her life. Could I tell her to just leave it at that? Doubtful. A mind as curious and quick as Bella's wouldn't settle for it.

The technician stepped out to let me know Bella could return to the ER. John, whose thoughts were a carousel of worry and frustration, saw us the moment we came back.

"Bella! How are you? How'd everything go?" he asked.

"Fine, John. You were right – x-ray was great about getting this taken care of quickly." Bella responded. Her tone sounded as if she was talking to a small child.

I finished adjusting the gurney behind the curtain and stepped back in silence. Bella was staring straight ahead. John was nervous, waiting for someone to say something. I wasn't going to cede any ground.

"Well, Rick asked me to call him when you got back, so I'll do that now," John said, before turning around and walking away. His fury at my presence was loudly shouted in his thoughts.

Bella waited until he was at the opposite end of the ER and then looked at me, interlacing her fingers and resting her hands placidly in her lap. "So."

"So," I replied, not playing along for the moment.

After another couple of seconds, she closed her eyes briefly, then opened them to stare at me. "Okay, look, I know you don't owe me anything. You just saved my life. But can I ask one more thing of you?" she said cautiously.

"What's that?"

"Can we continue this conversation another time?"

"Perhaps," I replied craftily. This wasn't just to buy more time to straighten out my story. I knew that if I put her off, I'd see her again so she could get what she thought would be an explanation from me.

I heard Carlisle's thoughts as he walked back to the emergency room. Edward, I have Bella's test results. I'm relieved to see they're good. I can hear this conversation is growing increasingly difficult for you, so I'm coming in right now.

Bella rolled her eyes, then said firmly. "I will not tell anyone. And I do not want to make you uncomfortable, but understand I'm essentially lying to everyone here. I don't like that."

I nodded my assent. "Bella, please believe me, it did not happen the way you -- " I entreated one more time.

Carlisle pulled aside the curtain then, and informed Bella that her x-rays showed no serious injury. He recommended rest and a couple of days off from work. I did my best to keep my complete relief from showing on my face. I had plenty of other things to worry about, but at least Bella wasn't injured, and that was my chief concern.

Rick returned to check on Bella and offered to have his fiancee stay with her through the evening, in case she developed other symptoms. Unsurprisingly, Bella was annoyed and upset at the thought of inconveniencing anyone else, but Carlisle was firm that this was necessary. I mentally applauded his thoroughness, and was glad it was Ellen who would be with Bella, and not Rick himself. I'd had all I could take of jealousy – my own and others -- at this point.

Carlisle completed the discharge order and handed it to her, then smoothed her hair in affection. I can see why so many men are taken with her. She's a lovely, caring young woman, he thought. I stiffened at the insinuation that there were a lot of others who were interested in her. None of them could possibly see her the way I did.

He glanced at me as he stepped away. Dr. Madden is coming in shortly. I may be able to get off duty early. We should go home and deal with this as soon as possible. No argument from me, Dad. I wanted to get it over with.

For a moment, Bella looked almost afraid, and I grew concerned because I couldn't hear what she'd say next. Then she asked for my help moving the guardrail down so she could get out of the bed. I quickly made the adjustment and watched as she sat up, then stood.

In an instant, she was falling over, nearly landing on top of me. I was uneasy about the contact with my cold skin, but she needed help, so I grabbed her elbow, hoping the chill wasn't too obvious through her jacket. "Are you all right? Do you feel dizzy?" I asked, although I guessed what the response would be.

"I'm okay. Really. It's just from laying in that bed all morning." She began walking slowly to the exit, favoring her right knee.

Would she ever easily accept help? True, I wasn't the best person to give it to her, but I pondered the question just the same, with no slight amount of frustration. I decided to tease her a little.

"Would you like a pair of crutches?" Again, I was sure I knew the answer.

"No."

Bingo. "I thought not, but I figured I'd ask. It would be a smart idea, you know," I said authoritatively.

She stopped to turn around, eyebrows raised. "I live on the second floor. Can you imagine me trying to get up the stairs with a pair of crutches?"

I hadn't considered that. "Good point."

Rick arrived to take her home, and I walked out to the garage with both of them. Bella seemed increasingly nervous as he left to get his car. She handed me the key to her Subaru, as I'd offered – again over her protests – to drive it to her house. "I really hope this all hasn't kept you from whatever plans you had today," she said.

"No, it's no problem. It's still quite early," I said. I stared at the ground, hands in my coat pockets, wondering when I'd see her again. I was already anxious over how she would fare tonight, worrying about injuries that Carlisle could possibly have missed.

Rick pulled up to the curb and I opened the door so Bella could carefully climb in. She turned to look at me through the open window with an expression I couldn't read. It was almost imploring; anguish burned in her warm brown eyes.

"Thank you, again. That's pretty inadequate considering you literally saved my life, but I want you to know how strongly I feel," she said softly but fiercely.

The powerful emotion behind her words almost knocked me off my feet. It was more than a "thank you;" it was a declaration of some sort. Reflexively, I regretted my inability to read her thoughts, then realized that wasn't so. I longed for the chance to be with her and experience her thoughts and emotions unfold in the delicious, gradual journey that characterizes the best romance. For now, all I could do was simply respond, "You are most welcome, Bella."

I watched as she and Rick left the garage, then went to find Carlisle.

As we drove home, I explained exactly what happened and how I'd pulled Bella out of the way. There was no point in leaving out details. I also recalled every bit of the conversations she and I had throughout the morning.

Alice had told the others what happened, but it didn't seem to do much good. I heard their thoughts as Carlisle and I approached the lengthy drive to the house: Rosalie, furious; Alice, worried; Esme, confused; Jasper, determined, and Emmett, incredulous.

We assembled in the dining room, where family meetings were held. There was no real need for us to sit around a table, but it was a human habit that was useful for us to adopt. Carlisle sat at the head, with Esme to his right. I sat at the opposite end. Rosalie flounced in and Emmett dropped heavily into the chair next to her. Alice sat next to me but Jasper remained standing behind her.

Rose wasted no time getting started. "Always thinking of yourself!" she snarled. "Do you have any idea what this means for us?"

"What was I supposed to do, let her die there?" I said defensively.

"It happens all the time. Humans die every day in accidents," she retorted.

Carlisle motioned to calm us down. "Let's figure out what we should do next," he said quietly.

"This has to be taken care of! She's seen too much," Rosalie insisted.

I leaned toward her intently. "What do you mean, 'take care of?" Of course, I knew exactly what she was thinking. I wanted her to say it.

Rosalie looked at me coolly. "She was in an accident. So it turned out to be more serious than anyone thought. We can finish that quickly."
"No!" I roared.

She regarded me again. "I can do it if you're unable," she said levelly.

"You're talking about taking an innocent life, Rose," Carlisle said disapprovingly.

She pulled herself up straight against the back of her chair. "Carlisle, we can't trust that she won't say anything about this! She has to be…eliminated."

I almost flung myself across the table at her, but Carlisle stopped me. "I cannot condone that. It's far too drastic," he said to her.

"Look," I fumed, "I've been watching her since the first time I saw her. She has not said anything to anyone about that day. And believe me, she had reason to ask. But nothing – not a word, not a question. She's discreet."

Jasper weighed in. "Edward, this is far more than you being rude to her. She saw everything that happened when you pushed the car away. It's a much more serious situation.""She didn't say anything to anyone in the hospital. She simply told people I pulled her out of the way. That's what she said to Carlisle, too," I snapped.

"She should have died right there. She has no family here, no one to suspect any foul play. Perhaps, as Rosalie suggested, we should just make this appear as some type of…delayed reaction," he said.

"No," I hissed.

"You're putting this entire family at risk. I won't stand for Alice to be in any danger. You haven't seen what these kinds of situations can bring," Jasper warned me.

I glared at him across the table. "I will not have her harmed," I said stiffly.

Alice moved her head slightly and I saw the vision that came to her: Jasper hunting for Bella, and me cutting him off. This occurred several times, with Jasper and I getting into a snarling, violent fight every time.

"Stop it," Alice moaned.

I shook my head. "She's blameless. She shouldn't pay for my haste today," I insisted.

Jasper raised his eyebrows. "So this family pays, then?"

I exhaled. "Why are you so certain she'll talk?"

"She's human, Edward," Rosalie said sharply. "She saw you do something no human can do. Get your head on straight and think about that!"

"What is that comment supposed to mean?" I growled.

Carlisle held out his hands again. "Enough. I agree with Edward. When Bella recounted the accident, she said nothing about how it really happened. He can continue to watch, and if there is the slightest suspicion, we will decide what to do. And Alice will see if any…problems are about to arise. In the meantime, no one harms Bella Swan," he said.

I looked at Jasper, knowing immediately that he strongly disagreed with Carlisle's decision. "I will be listening," I promised him through clenched teeth. He looked away.

Alice's eyes got cloudy, and I caught a brief glimpse of her vision. The setting was the Forks cemetery, but it had nothing to do with a burial. I was there with someone, though I couldn't make out who the person was.

Another vision: Bella and I in her home. And then another, which stopped so abruptly I caught almost none of it.

"What – " I started to question, and Alice ducked her head. In her mind, I saw sheet music for Beethoven's Ninth Symphony. She was concentrating on the sounds of a piano playing. This is the type of thing she does when she's trying to hide her thoughts from me.

"Don't try to distract me or yourself, Alice," I said angrily. "Tell me what you see. I know it has something to do with Bella Swan."

At the mention of Bella's name, Alice slipped for a second and I saw an image of the two of them walking behind our house, smiling and talking in the way that very close friends do. What was most striking, and what I saw immediately despite the briefness of the vision, was the similarity between Bella and Alice: very pale skin with a ghostly pallor, unearthly beauty, amber eyes.

"No. NO!" I roared.

Alice was already shaking her head. "I've seen this before," she admitted. "This is as firm as any vision I've had. It's going to happen."

I put my head in my hands. "No. It won't! I won't let it!"

"The only way it could change is if you decide for sure you'll have no contact with her at all. That would eliminate her as any part of your future." She looked at me intently. "Think you can do that?"

"I'm staying connected with her so I can find out what's going through her head. It's for the sake of this family! I'm just going to be her friend," I protested.

Alice looked exasperated. "No, Edward, I'm just going to be her friend," she said. "You're heading for something much more than that."

Emmett threw his hands up in the air in disgust. "Will somebody explain to me what's going on here?"

Rosalie asked, "Alice, what did you see?"

Alice looked around at the rest of the family. "It was Bella. She's going to be one of us."

There was stunned silence. Everyone looked at me.

"Edward, what does this mean?" Carlisle asked.

Alice started to answer, but he held out his hand to stop her. "I want to hear what Edward thinks first."

"I have no intention of ending her life like that. I told you, I'm being friendly so I can get any sense of suspicion from her. She's been very discreet, but she's also very bright. I'm keeping close just in case. Alice thinks it's something more," I said curtly.

"But this vision – it shows her becoming an immortal, not that you've killed her? Why would that even come to Alice, then?" Esme asked carefully.

Alice bounced impatiently in her chair. "May I speak now?" she said sarcastically. I waved her on.

"This isn't as simple as he's making it out to be," she said pointedly. "He can't stay away from her. He's already chosen a course, he just doesn't want to see it," she continued. "All that's uncertain is the timing."

"What does that mean? What are you talking about?" Emmett exploded.

Rosalie rolled her eyes at him. "Alice has seen that Edward is falling in love with this girl. One day, she'll become a vampire." She looked at me with disgust. "Can't you do anything without any drama?"

I didn't take that bait. I was too focused on what was happening here: Alice seeing a future for me and Bella. Together. Immortality, together.

Emmett laughed. "Oh, man. A human? What the hell, bro?"

Carlisle and Esme looked shocked. Esme turned to me and her expression changed to relief, then joy. "Oh, Edward..."

"No," I said firmly. "This is not how it's going to go. I'll listen through everyone else and stay away from her."

Alice sighed. "Edward, you know I love you, but you're an idiot. You won't be able to stay away from her. You can't stay away from her now!"

Before she finished, I was shaking my head. "Oh, I will. You're wrong about this," I said with finality.

I looked at everyone around the table. "This doesn't change anything about her safety. In fact, I want to know now, more than ever, that none of you will go near her. No taking matters into your own hands," I said forcefully.

Jasper nodded. "I can agree to that. If Alice sees –"

I interrupted him. "Regardless of what Alice sees," I said harshly. "No one hurts the girl."

He looked at me for a moment and then nodded his head. I knew from his thoughts that he doubted everything but would wait to be proven right. I couldn't blame Jasper entirely; his only real intent was to protect Alice. But I was also determined to protect Bella.

With a start, I wondered if that made us equals somehow. The depths of Jasper's love for Alice was incalculable. They had each waited a long time to find each other, and in Jasper's case, he didn't even realize he was looking for her, yet he knew the moment he took her hand that she was the end of his search.

Yes, the similarities were striking. I sighed. I'd fought hard against Alice's assertion that I was in love with Bella Swan. I still thought it was a ridiculous idea. If I was being honest – for the first time today, I thought wryly – I was certainly attracted to her. There was no point denying that. Perhaps I resisted it because I did care for her, a lot, and I knew being together would put her life in jeopardy every second.

The family left the dining room and moved on to their respective evening activities. Emmett watched a baseball game on television; he wasn't one to dwell on family drama. Rosalie was still fuming. She sat next to Emmett on the sofa, and in the almost absent-minded way I'd developed over the years, I absorbed some of her thoughts as they drifted over to me. Trying to find peace in music, I played the piano while mulling the situation, until Rosalie's mind stopped me cold. She heard me cease playing and quickly masked her thoughts, but enough had slipped through to give me the gist of what was going on in her head.

She was jealous of Bella. Rosalie never wanted me in any romantic way, and fortunately, I've always felt the same. But that didn't mean she was necessarily accepting of my attraction to another woman. My sister was too used to being the object of desire for every man who laid eyes on her, no matter that she was happy with Emmett. To be denied her usual status of "most beautiful," especially by a human girl, was too much for her.

I couldn't help it; I laughed at her. And she'd had the nerve to accuse me of self-centeredness! Rosalie turned from her seat and glared at me, her thoughts warning me not to say anything about this. I stood up, still grinning, and said, "Okay, I'm out of here." It seemed some distance between us would be good right now.

Running, I took off down the front steps and sped down the drive, turning left to fly through the woods. I ran at top speed for a little over half an hour until I reached the town of Bremerton, outside Seattle. Here, the small waves off Puget Sound gently lapped at the shore. The air was damp but cool and crisp; its freshness helped clear my head a bit.

I was alone now, so the thoughts I tried to ignore for the last few hours wouldn't be denied. I'd all but sworn off Bella Swan even though I wasn't sure I could stay away from her. Was there no end to my lying, even to myself? I'd just made a promise in front of my family that my interest in Bella was nothing more than business, although Alice knew the truth. She'd seen it. But I refused to accept the extent of her visions, that they'd meant Bella's humanity would end and she would be damned to the same immortal existence as all of us. I could never do that to her.

There couldn't be any in-between, though, could there? It was an either-or situation. Either we were close and getting closer, or we were colleagues who barely knew each other. Much as it hurt, I had to revert to the latter status, for her sake as well as my family's. She would never be safe in my world. Yet I had saved her life today. It was messy and ultimately dangerous, but I did something for her that was good.

I sat by the water's edge and saw Bella's face from so many moments: while holding the cat in my car; her enormous embarrassment when she dropped all those syringes; walking into the pharmacy with her coffee mug, wearing a huge grin; that first day, terrified and confused at seeing my reaction to her; and today, in the shock of winding up on the ground after almost getting hit.

I suddenly wondered how she was tonight. Had she suffered any undiagnosed injuries? Carlisle was an excellent doctor and surely would have found any cause for concern. I worried, though, that something which didn't turn up through the testing could make her lose consciousness overnight. Jumping up from my perch along the water, I made a rash decision to visit her – one last time, I told myself, to say goodbye.

In less than 30 minutes, I sprang into the tree nearest her back porch, and then remembered the cat. She would detect my presence very quickly, and she wouldn't be happy about it. The time was nearly midnight, and all the lights were off in Bella's apartment. I thought that if I entered through her kitchen and waited, without moving, to see how the cat reacted, the feline and I might be able to strike a truce.

Already I could detect Bella's scent, but the pain it caused existed side by side with a kind of comfort; its presence meant she was alive. I moved softly to the deck and waited a minute, trying to determine where the cat was. Its smell seemed to emanate from Bella's bedroom.

I opened the back door easily, even though it had been a while since I'd come here at night. Stepping quietly into the kitchen, I closed the door and waited. Cats certainly aren't like dogs; I knew it was unlikely to investigate the presence of a stranger. I didn't know how it would react to my own scent, though. Gingerly, I walked through the apartment, looking in each of the small rooms in case the cat had moved.

She was still in Bella's room, stretched out on the edge of the bed. I smiled at that. Of course Bella would allow the cat to sleep there; the pet cushion in the living room was practically unused. I stood in the doorway and the cat suddenly raised its head, hissing and growling.

Not really knowing what else to do, I whispered, "Sssssshhhhhh," and waited. It stopped growling and stared at me, then growled again. Should I try to shoo it away? Would she let me pick her up and move her to the living room? Hesitating, afraid the cat's rumblings would become louder as I grew closer, I stepped very carefully in her direction. She growled again and then let out a strangled meow before leaping off the bed and down the hall.

I waited another few minutes but heard nothing more from the animal; I still caught her scent but assumed she'd hidden somewhere. Moving closer, I heard Bella's light breathing. She was in a deep, peaceful sleep. Whatever vital signs I could detect from here seemed normal. I sat in the rocking chair, watching her and thinking.

I was in a most unexpected position, constantly in danger of losing my prized control. I had let things go too far with Bella, even if only on a friendly basis, but I couldn't help myself. Often the most important thing to do is the most difficult, and the important thing here was assuring that she had a safe and long human life.

The pain of that awareness seared like a hot blade. Simply the idea of cutting off nearly all communication with her, of never sharing her humor or her insights, was unbearable. Then it's best to do this now, before it becomes even harder, I thought firmly.

I would see her at work, naturally, and would merely nod courteously when our paths crossed. No longer would I linger and speak with her when my shift was over, and in the times I had to work with her during the day, I would keep all our interactions superficial and professional.

As if in response, Bella began tossing under the covers. She murmured some things I couldn't make out; they sounded garbled. Her breathing intensified, and I was certain I heard her say "light." She sighed again, and fell back in a deep slumber.

I stayed for another few hours as I tried to make myself swear this was the last time I would come here. I desperately wished for her to be secure, and I knew myself well enough to realize I could easily slip back here under the pretense of making certain she was out of harm's way. But I would also see her in work periodically, so surely I would know she was fine.

Reluctantly, I prepared to leave. I longed to stroke her hair as Carlisle had earlier, or to otherwise touch her, but I didn't dare. I couldn't risk that she might awaken from my cold hands. Despairing, I cursed the circumstances that put us at such odds with each other. She could never be safe with me and likely would be repulsed by my true self. I could never be a proper companion to her, always fighting back my deadly instincts and subjecting her to dangers no human could withstand.

I leaped off the porch and onto the ground, my silent heart painfully alive with hurt and loss. While I had long ago accepted my circumstances and endeavored to exist without regret, I could no longer stem the tide of rage that had been threatening to spill these past few days. I met someone I genuinely cared for, but I could not have her. I had to settle for watching and hoping she would find happiness with another man, one who would likely not appreciate the numerous rare qualities I'd seen in her. What else could I do? It would be the most magnanimous gesture of my miserable immortality, perhaps even partially redeeming my numerous sins. Yet I knew I could look at it that way all I wanted, but it would never take away this agony. The differences between Bella and I could not be bridged.

I now dreaded my upcoming shifts in the pharmacy as much as I had just started to anticipate them. My new role would be a crueler, remote Edward, and I hated treating Bella that way. The following Monday, she arrived at the pharmacy just as I was gathering my things to leave. She saw me – she was so lovely; I caught her broad smile out of the corner of my eye – and she said, "Good morning, Edward." I nodded without meeting her gaze and brushed past her, pushing open the door before it had the chance to completely shut. I could feel the confusion in her posture as surely as if it was spoken out loud.

Avoiding the dropoff, I walked a long way around the hospital to make my way to the garage. I didn't even want to feel her eyes on me if I were to walk past that open space. Determined, I filled my days and nights with reading, music, my own independent science research, running and hunting. I did everything I could to avoid anything that had to do with Bella, but my vampire mind, with its ability to hold multiple trains of thought, made that hopeless. I'm not even sure it would have been possible if I was human and in this situation. She had invaded my existence and my thoughts as surely as if she was organic to my being, and in so many ways, that's exactly what she was.

Several weeks passed in this manner. I tried my best to leave work before Bella arrived, but she usually reported for her shift around 7:50, and I could not consistently head out before 8 a.m. I held to my practice of nodding my greeting without looking at her, until one morning she caught my arm. That took me by surprise, and by reflex I turned to face her. She looked so sad and confused; it broke my heart again to realize how much pain I was causing her. Not that I was vain enough to believe she felt anything for me other than friendship, but even to betray that was unforgivable.

"Edward? Is everything all right?" she asked, slowly releasing my elbow.

It took a minute before I could reply; the words sounded choked, as if I was being strangled. "Yes, fine, Bella." I turned my head away and said, "Enjoy your day." Once I was out of her range of vision, I winced at my poor excuse of an answer. In every way, she deserved so much more.

That night, I was in my room, organizing some new music CDs when I heard Alice approaching. She poked her head in and said, "May I?"

"Sure. Come on in, Alice."

My sister flew to my couch and dropped herself on it, not making much of an indentation in the cushions. I doubt Alice weighs more than 90 pounds, but in her own way she can be as dangerous as Emmett when she wants to be. I girded myself for whatever purpose she had for this visit; although we often talked and spent time with each other, she seemed intent on something particular right now.

"I have to hand it to you," she said glumly. "You've got my visions all messed up."

"What do you mean?"

"Bella. I haven't seen the images of us together since the day you pushed the car away. In fact, I can't really see anything at all with her in it. When I try to focus, it's all murky." She glared at me.

"That's good. That's what I wanted. I told you that's how it would be," I replied brusquely.

She shook her head in disgust. "I can't figure out why you're so determined to stick with this."

I looked at her in astonishment. She really didn't understand? "Alice, I'm trying to save her life," I said, enunciating each word for emphasis. "She's human. Her blood drives me crazy. I'm a danger to her. What's incomprehensible about that?"

"I think you're selling yourself short. I think you can resist her blood more than you let on. It's the rest of her you really can't stay away from. Yes, I know you are now," she said, waving her hand dismissively as I started to protest, "but I still don't believe you can last."

"What's your interest in all this?" I asked warily. "You mentioned something about being her friend."

Alice smiled wistfully. "Sure, I want that. It looks wonderful," she said, then her face darkened slightly as she scowled. "But I'm really concerned about you, believe it or not."

"Then you should think about what it would do to me if I hurt her. And I don't just mean physically," I said, joining her on the couch. "I've made her feel badly enough as it is. We were friendly and now I have to ignore her, for her own good. I can see she feels wounded."

Alice stared at me in disbelief. "So, talk to her!"

I shook my head. "It's for the best. In time, she'll forget we were even friends, if that's what it really was." I looked down at my hands and stared at the floor.

She sighed in disgust. "You really are an idiot, you know?" Then she was silent as memories flooded her mind. I saw myself a few weeks ago, barreling up the stairs to order the coffeemaker. The scene changed to my arrival home after working with Bella on that Friday in the pharmacy. I then saw Alice's view of me as I ran into the garage to get my car when Bella found the cat on the highway. "Now, tell me – what's different about these images? I'll give you a hint: it pertains to your normal demeanor."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said.

Alice stared at me incredulously. "Do I have to spell out everything? You can't see how happy you are? That was the first thing I noticed. That's what made me wonder what you were up to! Trust me, it wasn't even the look you get when you write a great piece of music, or come across a book you haven't read that really appeals to you, or even when you hear there's a mountain lion problem close by. Look again." She ran through the memories once more, and now I could see that my eyes were bright and I was smiling hugely. "Sorry, but that's not your standard expression."

Frustrated, I asked, "What's your point?"

"You should give this a chance."

I snorted. "Right, because it's every girl's dream to date a vampire."

"Don't sell her short, either. If she's as unusual as you believe she is, Bella is probably capable of a lot."

"What else have you seen?" I asked, just to check.

Her eyebrows shot up. "In a vision? Nothing. I told you, it's all muddied now. But I've seen you," she said, poking me in the side for emphasis, "and I know something important has come into your life. Something seismic. Don't let it get away."

"How does everyone else feel about it?" I asked. They surely were hearing this conversation.

"Esme and Carlisle want you to be happy. Jasper wouldn't cross me, and Emmett doesn't particularly care one way or the other. And..." she hesitated, carefully considering her words, "Rosalie is Rosalie."

"Really? Almost all of this family wouldn't be concerned if I started a relationship that could jeopardize our existence, let alone what it could mean for Bella?" I asked skeptically

"We trust your judgment. You should, too. You wouldn't fall for just anybody," Alice replied softly. She flung her arms around me and kissed me hard on the cheek. "Think about it, okay? I hate to see you so miserable. I mean," she said, smirking, "more miserable than normal, Vampire McCrankypants."

"Get out of here," I said, swatting her out of my room like the irritating gnat she often was. In spite of myself, I was smiling. "And thanks."

Before I had the chance to think further, I launched myself out the window and headed straight to Bella's apartment.

She was asleep; all the lights were off. Although it was Friday night and she didn't have to work tomorrow, Bella must have retired early. I entered her home again and waited to see if the cat would have anything to say about my presence. Tonight, the feline was in the kitchen, eating. She growled immediately, either sensing or smelling my presence, but she ran off toward the bathroom. This allowed me to walk quickly to Bella's bedroom.

It had been a couple of weeks since I spent any length of time in Bella's presence. I saw her briefly only in the few mornings when I finished my shift and she arrived to start her day. Her scent seemed especially concentrated, but that was probably because I hadn't been around her much to adjust to it. At first I could feel myself sinking into the familiar hopelessness of knowing I would always hunger for her blood. I redirected my thinking, though, and started to consider whether resistance to hurting her could be the norm instead of the exception.

Bella started talking in her sleep then. She tossed from side to side and softly sighed, "mmmmm."

And then, distinctly, she said, "Edward."

Panicked, I thought at first she had awakened and saw me. From the rocking chair, I could see plainly that her eyes were closed, and I could hear her breathing in a sleep pattern. Again, she said my name, followed by a sigh. A few seconds went by, then she mumbled, "Stay. Edward."

It didn't seem as if she was having a nightmare. Bella was speaking my name; I was there, somehow, in her thoughts as she slept. There was no terror, only longing and maybe even desire, in her voice. Could I dare let myself believe this? Her other, conscious expressions...when she left with Rick after the accident, her gaze when we were in the office together...if I lined all that up, what did it lead to? For Bella, I couldn't be completely sure. But for myself, I knew what it was. I knew what my actions and reactions meant. The answer was certain, fixed – and now eminently obvious, even to me.

This was the logical sum of everything that happened since Bella walked into the hospital her first day, and finally it all made sense. In this instant, I saw with utter clarity what I had been too blind or inexperienced to know: I loved her. And I would do everything in my immortal power, use every ounce of my excessive strength, to make sure that love protected her instead of endangered her.

With no resistance left, each wall that I had carefully constructed around my existence began to fall. The one built from anger, to isolate and protect myself – down. Another, to remain superior to emotions I thought useless – gone. A third, my cherished control over my thoughts, actions and being – shattered. And the fourth, created from the lies told to my family and most of all myself – this was the weakest, and it now lay crumbled to dust.

The truth really had set me free. The weight I'd carried in the center of my being cracked and lifted with the understanding of what happened to me. I had waited a very long time for this, and in fact, had begun to doubt it would ever come to be. Seismic, Alice had called it. My sister was far ahead of me, and far more perceptive.

I laughed softly at the thought that Bella was a weak human. Physically fragile, yes, but she'd humbled this incredibly strong vampire like nothing else. This young woman walked into my office and my life, and shook apart a century's worth of artifice as easily as if it was...a box of syringes.

And it was the best feeling I'd ever known.

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