Happy holidays to everyone! I hope this posting finds you well and happy. Thank you so much for your patience! As you can imagine, the holidays have completely screwed up my writing schedule. Plus, my wonderful husband had a special birthday right after Thanksgiving, and after all the support he's given me, I couldn't ignore that!
Here is Edward's Chapter 10. He and Bella are preparing for the Return to New Jersey. I hope you enjoy it! This chapter is best read while listening to anything by Bruce Springsteen, of course. (Okay, you can listen to Frank Sinatra if you prefer.) I'm not completely sure, but I believe it's in New Jersey's statutes that you must be a Springsteen fan if you live in this state.
Clothes flew around the room at a speed which impressed even me.
I watched Bella as she moved to her dresser, grabbed some tee shirts, threw them in a suitcase and darted to her closet. A blazer and a denim jacket were yanked out and met the same fate as the shirts. Bella spun back to her dresser for underwear and bras, then placed them a little more carefully in the suitcase, under other clothes. This was probably because she knew I was watching. She even blushed slightly. The entire time her brow was knit and her lips moved, reciting items she had to remember to pack.
"Wouldn't this be easier if you wrote a list?" I asked.
"No."
"Why?"
"I'd lose the list." She grabbed a pair of shoes from the bottom of her closet and pushed aside clothes to cram them at the bottom of the bag.
"Alice said it's going to be cloudy and rainy, right?" she mumbled.
"Hence my family's decision to go, yes."
"Okay. That means it'll be cool in New Jersey. I should bring a few sweatshirts." The frown of concentration was back. "I have enough jeans here, but I'll need sweat pants, too." She backed toward her dresser again, staring at the open suitcase like she expected it to answer a question, and then turned around to pull the sweat pants from a drawer.
It was Thursday night, an hour after Bella returned from tutoring. She'd greeted me with a quick kiss and a hug and then walked briskly down the hall of her apartment, shedding her coat along the way. After dragging out the suitcase, she commenced yanking, tossing and stuffing.
"You're undoubtedly all packed and ready," she said, eyeing me with disgust.
"Sure. I don't have the same decision issues that you seem to. Are you certain I can't help you?"
Without looking at me, she replied absently, "No, thanks. Just your company is great."
"I'd never guess you thought that."
Bella stopped and held her her toiletries bag in her hand, smiling slowly. "Do you feel ignored?"
"A bit, yes. But that's okay," I said, heaving my best martyr sigh. "I'll watch while you work, if that's what you want."
She walked over and sat in my lap, putting her arms around my neck. "I'm really looking forward to this trip, you know. I'm so glad my family and friends will finally meet you."
"I'm happy about it, too."
"You may want to reserve judgment on that until after you meet my dad." Bella rolled her eyes. "I hope I've adequately explained how unsociable he is."
"Your dad's a widower who misses your mother. I'm not going to take his lack of etiquette skills personally." It was true, but it was also easier for me to focus on that as a reason for her father's reticence -- as opposed to, say, his potential dislike of me.
"That's good." She frowned. "I really don't want him to make you feel bad."
"He won't." I hugged her, burying my nose in her hair. Burning and flaring, her scent invaded my throat like the most fragrant smoke. I was long past getting taken in by that. "He can't be all that bad. He managed to raise a wonderful young woman."
"True. My sister's pretty special. You'll like her."
I kissed her chin. "You know I meant you."
"Yeah, I do." She smiled but looked sad. I waited for her to speak again, but when she didn't I prodded her further. The subject of her father often seemed to elicit some type of mood or reaction I couldn't read.
"What is it?" I asked gently.
"Oh...I don't know about raising me." She interlaced her fingers and stared down at her lap. I watched her silently. "I often think I raised myself."
"Tell me what you mean by that." I didn't want to make any assumptions.
"Well," she said, shifting slightly, "my parents weren't the easiest people to grow up with. Not the hardest by any means, but not the easiest. As far as my dad is concerned, he was really critical. I know I've mentioned this before." She glanced at me quickly for affirmation, a small smile on her lips. "I feel like I've spent a lot of time and energy digging out from under that. I wish I never had to, but, you know, there it is." Bella lay her head on my shoulder. "I also feel like a bit of a schmuck complaining about this to you. It isn't as if you've had an painless life." She sounded almost apologetic.
I shook my head as I hugged her tightly around her waist. "Never think that, please. I want to hear what's on your mind, especially if it's something that hurts you. My life is separate, different. I'd love to know everything about you." I kissed her on the forehead. "I already know so much of the good. I'm definitely okay with handling the bad too." Bella finally gave me a real smile and nodded.
She was silent for a few minutes, and I began to see the depth of her apprehension about returning east. "I know you are thrilled to see your friends again, and I'm definitely looking forward to meeting everyone," I said carefully. "But are you really okay with going back? If I believe for a minute you'll be more upset than happy, I'll cancel this in a second. We don't have to go."
"No," she said thoughtfully. "I can do this, although I am kind of anxious. I know my dad wants to see me, but he's not really good at expressing that. It'll come out weird, like he'll ask me about the car and then launch into this whole list of things I should be doing to maintain it. And I'll get upset because it'll feel like he's picking me apart, even though I know he's only trying to help. His method of assisting is, uh, off-putting, I guess you could say," she explained with a chuckle.
"Wow. You've got the whole reunion scoped out," I said teasingly, though I was concerned. The scenario she described sounded more like experience than prediction.
"I know it's likely to happen. I have to remember to walk away before we get into a stupid argument."
"Being aware of that is a great first step," I said. It sounded awkwardly like I was quoting a self-help program, but I honestly couldn't think of what else to say. I wanted to calm her, soothe her, and help her feel more confident.
"That's true. You know what else, though," she said, now staring into my eyes, "I'm really glad you'll be there. You'll get me through it more than anything." There was complete conviction in her voice.
I was stunned. I'd always seen her as the capable partner in our relationship because of all that she had to accept and endure. I knew many of her weaknesses -- not that I would ever use them against her -- but they never stopped her from giving everything to me. I was supposed to be the strong one, yet I felt almost every day that she was holding me up. To hear her say that she relied on me was enormously gratifying -- ego boosting, even.
"I will do whatever you need me to do," I said, my voice tight with emotion.
"Just having you with me will be the best antidote to Charlie Swan's toxicity." She kissed me and leaned her forehead on mine. "It'll make a huge difference, with you to calm me down and keep things in perspective."
A little smile crept across my face. "I do that? Really?"
"Yes, you do." She put her head back on my shoulder, next to my neck, and hugged me around the waist. "And much as I love explaining all this to you, I still have more to pack, and a few hours of work tomorrow." Bella started to get up but I pulled her all the way back down on the bed. She grinned and said, "Edward, what are you doing?"
I rolled her on top of me, enjoying her slight gasp of surprise. I wasn't usually this aggressive because I didn't want to lead her along, only to and become frustrated. It was one of those moments, though, when I needed to show her what I felt.
I kissed her, long and hard, smoothing my tongue along her lower lip. It was sheer pleasure to feel her length pressed against my body: her legs, her soft flat stomach, her somewhat soft, not-at-all flat chest. Now with her balanced on top of me, I ran my hands down her shoulders and beyond, enjoying the graceful valley that formed where her lower back flared into her hips and beyond. Without stopping or easing up on the gentle pressure, I moved my hands across her rear, surprising even myself. I seemed pretty determined.
"Edward?" Bella said questioningly, then giggled. "Are you feeling okay?"
"What I'm feeling is fine," I murmured.
She burst out laughing. "Wait, wait -- grabbing my ass and making a joke loaded with sexual innuendo? Something is wrong. Should I call Carlisle?"
"Do you really want to interrupt me?
"No, no!" Bella said, shaking her head vigorously. "It's just a little out of character for you." She traced the edge of my jaw with her index finger.
I rolled her over so I was now almost on top of her. Overcome with sudden emotion, I laid my left hand along the entire side of her face, then gently stroked the length of it with my fingers. Her expression softened as she watched me. "I love you so much. I think, maybe, I don't tell you that often enough." I edged off of her so I was laying along my side on the bed. My hand moved down her neck and across her collarbone, then drifted down her chest and stomach before setting on her hip. Bella eyes widened briefly when my fingers gently ran over her left breast.
My craving for her had shifted into a desire for her flesh, sometimes more than her blood. My passion became obvious at times like this, though I tried to disguise it. Bella made me feel like a man, and I hated that I couldn't help her enjoy every aspect of feeling like a woman. I kissed along her neck and up to her lips, lingering there for another few minutes. "And I think that maybe I don't tell you, or show you, how exceedingly difficult you are to resist."
"I know," Bella whispered. She knew? Well, I suppose she was able to feel my longing for her. Tears pooled in her eyes as she watched me. "I love you too. Very much," she whispered, then sighed. "I hope you remember that when I subject you to my family and friends." Burrowing her head into my neck, she mumbled, "Stay with me tonight?"
"Of course."
She'd started a sweet tradition of asking me this all the time, although I was there every night anyway. I'd bought Bella a new alarm clock, which she accepted with only a modicum of protest, but she preferred me to get her up in the morning. I loved the last few moments before I had to nudge her awake. I watched her off and on all night, of course: the river of her sienna hair tossed carelessly around the pillow, the downward tuck of her head leaning into her chest, the eyelashes butterflied against her lower lids -- she was beautiful, then funny from the moment she had to open her eyes and unwillingly face the world.
On Friday, Bella got ready for her morning at work and rushed out, giving me a hurried kiss and a sweet reminder that we would meet up again at 11. Even though we'd be together for 80 hours over the weekend, I'd miss her in the time she was at the hospital. I always felt like I was operating with half my usual self when she wasn't with me. Before leaving, I placed extra food and water out for Faith so she would have enough for the weekend, while we were away.
My family was a lot calmer in its preparation for the trip. I suppose, when you have all night to get ready, it's easier. Bella's packing scene was much more frenetic than even Alice's, but I preferred the barely-contained mayhem in her apartment. It was another tacit reminder of how alive she is.
Alice and Bella insisted that we report to Sea-Tac airport early enough to avoid problems with security. Since our flight was at 6 p.m., that meant we left as soon as Bella returned home and changed out of her work clothes. My family waited in two other cars; I placed her suitcase in the Volvo's trunk and ran back up to her apartment. She was standing in the middle of her kitchen, hugging Faith and looking around as if trying to remember something.
"Bella? It's time to go," I said. "Faith will be fine. We left plenty of food and water, and Mrs. Farrelly will look in on her every day," I added soothingly. I knew she was worried about the cat, as if we'd be gone a month instead of three days.
"I know." She gave Faith a final kiss and put her on the floor. "Let's do this."
I swung her up in my arms and raced down the stairs, barely touching them. I slowed down once we were outside, Bella still giggling. With the car door open, I placed her on the front seat and buckled her in against her protests. "Edward, I can do this myself," she said, laughing.
"I know, but you can't do it as fast as I can. We need to get going now."
My family followed in Carlisle's and Emmett's cars, staying close because they knew I would detect any police presence which would slow us down. We sped north on Route 101 at nearly 90 miles an hour, since traffic was fairly light.
The parking, security and check-in were uneventful. The eight of us waited patiently at the gate to board -- well, seven of us were patient. Alice, true to form, was having difficulty containing herself. She was thrilled at the prospect of seeing New York City again; she hadn't been there in decades. Although we weren't staying in Manhattan, we would be close enough where two days trips would be easy. Intitially, my family planned to book hotel rooms in New York, but Bella pointed out that staying in Morris County would put us near state parks for hunting, if necessary. It also made her family and friends more accessible since they were close to that location, and because that was the real purpose of the trip, I essentially made the decision for all of us. Most of them were amenable, except, predictably, Rosalie, who grumbled about missing the opportunity to stay at the Plaza or St. Regis.
We were scheduled to arrive very late at Newark-Liberty International Airport, factoring in the time change on the East Coast. Since the flight departed Sea-Tac in the early evening, it was less crowded, and in fact my family took up most of the first-class cabin. This was certainly beneficial for seven traveling vampires, one of whom had less experience in avoiding human feedings.
Bella pulled out a book and then shoved the backpack under the seat in front of her. Around me, I heard my family's idle thoughts: Emmett, wondering what in-flight movie we'd see; Rose and Alice, savoring the prospect of world-class shopping; Jasper, a little uneasy over the flight but able to remain calm. The presence of humans in a small, enclosed space didn't seem to distress him, though of course he'd fed an ample amount before we left. Carlisle was concerned about two patients who were not responding to conventional intravenous antibiotic therapy. Esme was simply happy to be with her family, as usual.
I wondered why we'd rarely taken trips such as this, because tonight everyone seemed happy about it. Then again, we'd had to move around so much to avoid detection, there was probably an unspoken preference for staying put once we'd settled in. We hardly took vacations, at least not together. Perhaps Bella was unknowingly pushing us in this direction, bringing our family together in a way that was new for us.
The plane had pulled away from the gate and moves to its departure position; I heard the engines rev and smelled the harsh odor of airline fuel. As the plane lurched forward and began its ascent, I saw Bella move her head down and scrunch her face, as if she was in pain.
"What is it?" I asked worriedly.
She opened her eyes a fraction and mumbled, "Takeoff. Ugh, stomach." I'd forgotten that motion sickness could be a problem.
"Can I get you anything? I'll call Carlisle..."
She grabbed my arm to hold me back. "I'll be okay. It'll stop in a few seconds."
I hated seeing her so uncomfortable, but as the plane leveled off, her face relaxed. "See? It's just temporary. It always happens to me when the plane departs and lands. I'll have some soda later and that'll help," she explained. "I had the same problem the last time I flew, when I arrived in Washington. I didn't think I'd be on another plane so soon."
"You flew here yourself? No one came with you to help you when you moved?"
"No, I had all my stuff shipped out before I got here. Besides, I didn't want to inconvenience any one. It was my move," she said, looking past me, through the window at the lights below.
I kissed the side of her head. "I would have helped you."
"If there had been some way for us to meet earlier, I'm sure you would have. But as it stands, you had other designs on me the first time you saw me. Helping me drag a sofa into my apartment was the last thing on your mind, I'm sure." She gave me a playful smile.
It bothered me sometimes, the way she joked about my instincts and how close I came to killing her. I frowned. "Not funny."
"Oh, come on," she said, scowling. "Lighten up. All is forgiven." She leaned in for the first of a number of kisses we shared across the country.
I'd booked three cars for all of us to use while we were staying in New Jersey. Not to sound like a snob, but there are times the black American Express card comes in handy. We had practically no waiting time at the rental counter. The attendant couldn't fawn over us enough, and I would have let that pass except for the attention he paid to Bella. I growled slightly, and she looked at me in confusion, unaware that he thought her very attractive.
Bella grabbed her suitcases and began walking toward the doors when I stopped her. "Where are you going?" I asked.
"To wait for the shuttle so we can get to our cars," she responded, looking at me expectantly.
"No, they'll bring them here."
"They will?" Her eyebrows raised in surprise. "Must be nice."
"It is. Would you like to drive us to the hotel?"
Her eyes sparkled with anticipation. "Oh, yes. Yes, I would."
Emmett, Rose, Alice and Jasper had reserved an enormous Escalade; Bella glanced at me and surreptitiously rolled her eyes. Esme and Carlisle moved ahead as an attendant pulled up a Mercedes Benz two-seat sportscar. Each had a GPS, of course, so Bella's directions weren't necessary. She still insisted on making sure everyone was confident of the destination.
Finally, a Mercedes Benz S600 sedan pulled up. The employee who brought it to our location apologized profusely for the five additional minutes we had to wait after my family's departure. Bella seemed stuck to the ground, unmoving.
"You're going to let me drive this?" she said in wonder.
"Of course. You know how to drive a stick, right?" I said, knowing full well that she did.
The attendant carefully arranged our suitcases in the trunk. "It's a stick?" she squealed, throwing her arms around my neck. Bella and I both loved to drive. Unlike me, she did it a lot more slowly. Like me, she preferred a standard transmission to really feel the engine shift and move. It had been difficult to locate a sedan that wasn't an automatic, but it was worth it to see the look on her face.
Bella's reflexes seemed to change now that we were on the ground in New Jersey. She moved quickly and efficiently, slipping into the leather seat and stroking the steering wheel as if it was...well, the only other time I'd seen her move her hands so intimately was when she touched me. I was nearly jealous of the damn car.
She grabbed her backpack and pulled out a CD, inserting it carefully into the stereo. Tossing the jewel case into the backpack, she put it on the floor behind her and adjusted the mirrors, all the time sporting an enormous smile. After another few seconds, the familiar opening harmonica and piano of "Thunder Road" floated gracefully through the car.
"We've been in New Jersey about 15 minutes and Springsteen is already playing," I said, thoroughly enjoying her elation. I'd seen Bella happy and content and, of course, playful, but I'd never seen her blazing like this. It was kind of hot, pun intended
"Oh, yeah," she said, her voice lower and throatier than I'd ever heard it. "You're on my turf now." She pressed the clutch and shifted the car into gear, tearing toward the New Jersey Turnpike with that grin still in place.
We headed south, Bella driving about as fast as she felt she could get away with - a mere 75 mph. (She declined my offer to listen for police officers, somewhat doubtful that even I could help elude New Jersey state troopers.) Once the urban density thinned out and I saw more trees, Bella began talking about how the state was actually very green, but few people got to see it because they only went in and out of New York. It reminded me of our first real conversation that morning in the pharmacy, when she spoke of her resentment of her home state's reputation.
Within 30 minutes, we arrived at the Governor Morris Inn before anyone else from my family. The bellhop accompanied us to the suite I reserved, and swung the door open to a sitting room with a large couch, several chairs and a coffee table. Off to the left, there was a small kitchenette, and then over on the right was the bedroom, and a large bathroom beyond it.
When we were alone, Bella looked around at the kitchen, amused. There was a bag of her favorite coffee, some bagels, other snacks, and perishables like milk, juice and butter in the refrigerator. I'd had the concierge make sure there was enough here for breakfast once I realized we wouldn't arrive in New Jersey until very late.
"This is really very nice of you, but you didn't have to reserve a room with a kitchen - a stocked one, no less," she admonished me.
"Oh, I'm not being nice. I'm being selfish. This is very necessary.
"What? Why?" She looked mystified.
"You are less than human before you've had your coffee. Trust me, I would know what that looks like," I said, grabbing her and twirling around the room. I was elated that we'd be together every moment of the entire weekend. "The sooner you can get your caffeine fix, the better off we'll all be." She pulled back her arm and opened her hand as if to smack me. "You may want to rethink that move," I said, grinning.
"Yeah. It never ends well for me." Bella yawned, and I realized how extremely late it was.
"Why don't you get ready for bed? If you want us to be on time at your sister's tomorrow, you should get some rest."
She smiled sleepily at me, all her energy gone in a flash. "Stay with me?" she asked again.
"Where else am I going to go?" I replied, stroking her hair.
After minutes in the bathroom, Bella emerged looking more tired than ever. I'd pulled back the bed covers, wishing I could somehow warm the sheets for her. Instead, I moved toward my edge of the bed to keep the chill off of her, my book on my lap. She scowled at me and crawled under the blankets.
"Why are you so far away?" she said, holding her arms out to me.
"I thought you'd want to warm up. The bed is cold, and so am I."
"Warm, I can get any time. You, I need in order to sleep," she commanded.
I laughed. "When Yoda I did start dating?"
"I'm too tired to talk straight. Shut up and hold me. This is the last invitation you'll get."
"Ever?" I raised my eyebrows as I slid in next to her.
"For tonight." She closed her eyes. The scowl was gone, in its place my favorite smile, and Bella immediately sank into sleep.
With my arms wrapped around my love, I finally addressed the thoughts I'd pushed away. What would happen when I met her family tomorrow? Her sister was planning a large midday meal; Bella and I devised a way for me to take food along with the rest of the family and disguise its disposal. That was a minor issue, though. I worried about how they would judge my appearance. Would they accept me? Would her father deem me worthy for his younger daughter?
Would they like me?
For the past several months, I've been drinking in the joys of our loving relationship like I'd staggered out of the Sahara after 100 years of pointless wandering. Once the secret of my existence was revealed and I determined that I could control my bloodlust, I slowly allowed myself to feel optimistic, happy, even light -- well, lighter than normal. My distinct advantage was having Bella to myself. She knew very few people in the Forks area; my family had become hers. And I'd teased her when she was so anxious about being with them the first few times, not comprehending how nerve-wracking it could be. I'd never had to feel what she went through in facing the family of the person you love for the first time.
I was about to find out that payback was indeed a bitch.
We were due to arrive at her sister's house at 1 p.m. During the drive, Bella tried to keep me occupied with light talk about the black bear overpopulation in Sussex County, joking that Emmett could probably take care of that problem in the time of our visit. Periodically, she glanced at me, and I could see sympathy in her eyes. I didn't want her to feel sorry for me. I looked away, out the window to my right, and I felt her warm hand encircle mine.
"Please don't worry," she said softly.
"I'm not," I answered curtly.
"Yes, you are," she responded firmly. "My family might be weird and difficult in a lot of ways, but I know they want to see me happy. And they finally will."
Direct, soothing and effective -- she always knew what to say to me. I had to smile, and I kissed the hand that essentially held my life. "My father probably won't talk much, but if you engage him about sports, he'll like that," she continued. "He and my brother in law are big Giants fans. My dad likes the Yankees, too. Do you have any of the teams' histories stored in that big ol' brain of yours?"
"I read up on all of it when you told me your dad liked them," I acknowledged.
"Thank you," she said gratefully. "That will come in handy. My dad will love it if you talk about any of their past championships or key players. Plus," she added, "they all know I'm quiet. It won't seem odd to them if you are, too."
Before we left for the East Coast, she'd reviewed everything she'd told her sister about me. Pat knew I was also a pharmacist, but Bella had not gone into great detail about my family or my past. This enabled us to coordinate our story, much of which wasn't a lie: my parents died a number of years ago; I was in foster care for awhile; my siblings and I were adopted by Carlisle and Esme.
The terrain had grown almost mountainous, and the area became more rural as we drove. We'd left the interstate and were heading north on a state highway when Bella turned onto a residential street and directed the car into a driveway where the house sat back on a small incline. Children's toys were scattered around the lawn, and I heard several dogs barking.
"I asked my sister to make sure the dogs were kept in their pen. I told her I didn't want them jumping on you. They are pretty rambunctious, but I was mostly concerned that they'd freak out when they caught your scent," she explained as she shut off the motor.
Turning to me and grabbing my hands, she gave me a huge grin. "You know how I usually worry? I'm not worried about this; it'll be fine. Let's go. It's showtime."
I slowly opened my door and found Bella at my side -- a first, considering it was usually the other way around. She almost ran to the rear stairs that led to the second floor of the house, tugging at my hand the entire way. "Come on. This leads to the deck which is behind the kitchen -- just like my apartment," she said, smiling and trying to put me at ease. "You can walk up. No need to hide in the trees and drop down." I laughed in spite of myself.
There was a grill on the deck; of course I had smelled the food from a distance. The dogs had increased their frantic barking the moment I stepped out of the car. Darn dogs. They're staying in the pen until everyone leaves, I heard in the thoughts of someone male. I steeled myself against the scent of the cooking meat and saw the back of a tall man with a medium build and graying curly hair.
"Hey Tom!" Bella called. I heard the surprise in his thoughts. They're here! Pat's gonna be so happy.
He turned swiftly, barbeque tongs in his right hand. "Bella! You made it! Great to have you back!" I heard the squealing voices of children as Bella and her brother-in-law hugged.
"Tom, I want you to meet Edward," she said, looking at me fondly.
"Hey Edward. Great to meet you. Hope you like Jersey burgers," he said, flashing a shy smile.
I returned the grin without exposing too much of my teeth, and grasped the hand he extended to me. "I like this one best," I said, rubbing Bella's back with my other hand.
Ha! Good joke. Jeez, I guess this guy is used to warmer weather, he said in reaction to my cold grip. To his credit, he didn't stare down at his own hand, as others sometimes did when I touched them.
Three screaming kids appeared at the sliding door. "Aunt Bella's here! Aunt Bella's here! Look, Mom!" they chanted, their thoughts a cacaphony of excitement.
"Hey guys!" Bella said, laughing. She scooted down on the floor to welcome their embraces. "Oooh, you're all so big! I missed you!" They swarmed all over her. "I want you to meet my boyfriend," Bella said, gesturing to me. We'd agreed to use the conventional terms "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" on this trip, since it was the easiest way to refer to each other.
The three kids stood still and stared at me, eyes wide. "This is Edward Cullen. He came with me from all the way out west to meet you!" she said. "Do you want to tell him your names?"
The first one said, "I'm Will. I'm the oldest 'cause I'm seven."
Another one, the only girl, said, "I'm Margaret. I'm five and I'm in school now." I could see Bella in her face, as small as she was.
The littlest one hid behind his sister and shoved his fist in his mouth. "Aw, come on, Tommy," Bella coaxed. He smiled but ducked his head.
"He's three," she said, smiling. "Still pretty shy."
"Oh my God, you're here!" a voice called, and I turned as a short-haired woman of about 30 dashed in through the adjoining kitchen. Bella's sister Pat, of course-- she had the same warm, slightly sour smell as her kids. She grabbed Bella into a hug. "How are you? Did you have a good flight?"
I saw a familial resemblance between Bella and her sister, although Pat was taller and had blue eyes. The heart-shaped face was the same. She finally looked at me expectantly, waiting for Bella to make the introduction.
Wow. This guy's stunning. Is this how they grow them in Washington State? I had to work hard to contain my laughter at that. She and Bella shared a sense of humor.
"Pat, this is Edward, my boyfriend," Bella said. I glanced at her before turning my attention back to her sister, and saw she was glowing.
I extended my hand but Pat laughed and pulled me into her for a hug. "Oh my God, don't even. Save that for our father," she said, grinning.
Jeebus, he smells amazing. What the hell is that?
"It's so nice to meet you. I've heard so much about you," I said, drawn in by her laughter in spite of my nerves.
"Oh, yeah, I'll bet Bella's told you lots," she said, rolling her eyes --another familiar sight. "Like all the times I made her cover for me when I snuck out to see Tom, and then wouldn't let her borrow my shoes. All the great sister wars, right?"
"I did hear something about Tom jumping off your patio roof into the swimming pool in your yard," I admitted.
"Ssssshhh! Our dad still doesn't know about that," Pat admonished me. "Hey Dad? Bella just arrived!"
Here we go.
I heard brief bits of thoughts with intermittent silence, almost like interrupted, spotty radio reception. Bella!...made it...back home. Fascinating. She must have inherited the shielding tendency from him.
An aging, gray-haired man with Bella's expressive brown eyes rounded the corner and stepped into the kitchen. "Hey! How was the trip?" he asked, returning Bella's hug.
"Hi Dad. Everything went fine, no problems," she responded. I noticed the slight amount of tension in her voice, and the easy joking tone she had with her sister and the children receded. In her father's thoughts, though, there was nothing but joy at seeing his younger daughter again. Although I could only hear sporadic words, the relief and happiness were unmistakeable.
"You brought the rain with you," he observed, but he was smiling.
"Yeah, I guess we did. Dad, this is Edward, my boyfriend," Bella said, turning first to him and then to me. She watched me with an encouraging look in her eyes.
I put my hand out and said, "It's so good to meet you, Mr. Swan."
He took my hand and gave it one fierce shake, and I heard nice firm...cold...hair, with no other words to string them together cohesively.
At that moment, Pat's mother and father in law arrived, raising the din of voices and thoughts. I was hastily introduced to Ted and Barbara, who quickly shook my hand and diverted their attention to their grandchildren. Charlie Swan greeted them and then drifted back to the living room, where the television set broadcast a Yankee game.
Bella tugged at my hand. "Let's go sit down with my dad." He'd taken a seat at the left end of the sofa.
I followed her over and sat between her and her dad, smiling and waiting a few polite minutes to see if he would start a conversation. Unsurprisingly, he was quiet, so I began asking him about the Yankees, and how long he'd been a fan. He didn't offer much besides a few opinions of players current and past, and then fell to silence.
Suddenly, he burst out with, "So, how's work?"
"It's going fine, Dad. I really like the hospital," Bella responded.
"How's your apartment?"
"It's small, but it's nice. My landlady is easy to get along with. I have a cat now," she added.
"Yeah, I thought that would happen before too long," he said, almost in a teasing manner.
More silence. I decided to jump into the deep end of the pool. "Did Bella bring home many cats when she was a kid?" I asked in my most mellow voice, still with the smile plastered on my face.
He chuckled and waved his hand dismissively. "She would've had us taking in ever stray in the city if she could," he said. Out of his range of vision, Bella looked at me and rolled her eyes.
"She's definitely an animal lover," I added.
Charlie nodded. "She would have made a great vet, but she didn't want to do that." He shrugged. "Well, she could never put an animal down or kill it anyway, so I guess it's just as well."
It didn't escape my notice that Bella's father spoke as if she wasn't even in the room, but Bella seemed to take it in stride. "I like the pharmacy, Dad. I'm helping people," she said, a smile in her voice.
"Gonna open up your own drugstore?" he asked gruffly.
"What?" Bella was shocked and gave me a "where did that come from?" look. "Why would I do that? I have a good job."
"Be your own boss! Is there a pharmacy in your town?" her father said.
"There is in the supermarket," she explained. "Dad, I like the hospital. I'm fine there." Her voice now sounded edgy.
"Never hurts to have a job where nobody can fire you," he said severely.
"I'm not interested in owning my own business. This isn't a great economy for that anyway," Bella said with exaggerated patience.
"Well, that's true," he mumbled, and then was silent. I watched her throughout most of this exchange, and although it looked as if she was maybe, possibly, considering losing her temper, she stayed calm and slipped her hand in mine. A rueful smile came over her face, as if she was saying, "See what I mean?"
I certainly did. Neither of them had much patience, but her father had the added disadvantage of coming from a generation that couldn't clearly express their feelings. The worry and pride he felt for Bella came out all wrong, and she responded defensively. The two of them were a bit of an incendiary combination. She let it go, though, and I was proud of her.
Her sister stuck her head in the room then and said, "The food is ready!" Bella looked at me mischievously and said, "Let's eat."
We lined up around the table in the dining room, with everyone grabbing hamburgers or hot dogs and side dishes. Bella and I returned to the living room and sat on the couch again. This time, I sat on the complete opposite end of the couch from her father, with Bella between us and Tom in a recliner to the right of Charlie. Our plan to make it appear as if I'd eaten would work as long as the television remained on.
Bella casually chewed her food and nudged some salad off my plate with her fork. I held my burger in my hand but didn't actually take a bite, pretending to be focused on the game. With the other men in the room also absorbed by baseball, we were able to keep Bella's plate next to mine and have her surreptitiously take my food, a little at a time, until it appeared as if I had eaten almost half of my meal. We remained in our seats for another fifteen or twenty minutes, as if the television was mind-numbingly fascinating. I wondered if this would work because surely Bella's family knew she cared little for sports. Once the Yankees blew a run, her dad and brother-in-law began a disgusted conversation, and Bella asked me, "Are you finished?"
"Yes."
"Here, I'l take it. I'm going to the trash." She deftly took my paper plate and flipped it over her own, then crushed the two of them in half. As she walked past her father, she offered to bring him some more food. He shook his head and barely looked at her.
Bella strolled into the kitchen and crammed the plates into the trash can. Mission accomplished.
While she was up, her niece dragged her down the hall, giggling about showing off some new toys. I saw Pat in the kitchen and decided to join her there.
"Can I give you any help?" I noticed she was loading the dishwasher.
"No, thank you." She glanced up and flashed me a grin. "Did you have enough to eat?"
"Oh, yes, I'm quite full, thank you." A beat passed, and then I remembered what else I needed to say. "It was all delicious. Thank you so much for inviting me."
"It's great to have you here. Bella's told me about you in the past few months. Did you grow up in the Pacific Northwest?" She was considering the best polite conversation to make. I could see from her thoughts that she was also shy, though not as much as her sister.
"No, I lived in Chicago for awhile. We moved to Washington several years ago. I understand you're a preschool teacher?"
Pat laughed. "Well, I was until I gave birth to my own preschool. I've been at home for the past few years."
I smiled. "Of course. Do you miss it?"
"No, not really," she said, closing the dishwasher's door. "I teach my kids when I can, to try and get them ready for school. They're not always great students, though." I'm going to have to do at least two loads in order to get this kitchen cleaned up, she thought, momentarily distracted.
"Maybe it's harder to take when it comes from a parent."
She looked at me in appreciation. "I think that's exactly it." Very perceptive.
"This trash can is completely full. Can I help you remove the liner?"
"That would be great, Edward. Thank you," she replied, handing me a new trash bag. "Are you a sports fan?"
"Not as much as your husband and father seem to be. I like going to some live games, but I don't make a hobby out of following teams," I explained.
Just like Bella. "No wonder you and my sister get along so well," she said.
I smiled again. "You can tell that after seeing us together for the first time?"
Oh yes I can, handsome. My sister is totally in love with you. Looks like you're in love with her, too, and I'd better be right about that.
"Yes, I think so," she replied thoughtfully. "You two look like you fit."
I nodded, wanting to somehow address the thoughts I wasn't supposed to know. "I care very much for her. She's a wonderful woman. There aren't many like her, and I'm not inclined to let her go," I said firmly.
She regarded me in an appraising manner. God, I hope he means that. Doesn't seem like a liar, despite the movie-star looks. "I'm very glad to hear you say that. She had a rough time with her last relationship, when she was still living here," she said carefully.
I nodded. "I know. She told me about him. I don't know whether to thank him or break his neck," I said, meaning it completely.
Pat laughed and squeezed my arm, then looked briefly surprised. I winced, worried that she'd hurt her fingers, but she interpreted it as pain. Ooops. Did I hurt him? Crap, he's made of muscle, though!
It was a good time to end a good conversation. "Um...I think I'll go find Bella. I believe Margaret dragged her off somewhere?"
She motioned toward the end of the hall outside the kitchen. "They're in her room. All the way at the end, past the bathroom."
I found Bella and Margaret on Margaret's bed, hunkered over some books, with dolls and stuffed animals surrounding them. Margaret was reading to her toys while Bella gently helped when she stumbled over a word. They didn't see me at first; and I took advantage of that to watch them quietly, without Bella becoming self-conscious. I hadn't had the opportunity to see this side of her; although she was silly and loving often enough with me, it was different with her sister's children. She adopted that easy lack of inhibition that adults often have when they're happy to be with kids. I enjoyed watching her even as I felt the pain of knowing that I'd never be able to give her a child. Unsurprisingly, she would make a good mother. It was yet another joy she'd have to do without if she stayed with me.
I saw Bella inhale, and she must have detected my scent because her head popped up in my direction. She gave me an affectionate smile and said, "Hey."
"Hey, yourself. Enjoying the book?"
"Yup. Almost as much as Margaret is." They were done reading, and the little girl rolled over on her bed and grabbed a stuffed dog. "This is Tony!" she said excitedly to Bella.
"Tony! That's an unusual name for a dog. Why'd you pick that?" Bella asked, tickling Margaret gently.
"My best friend in kindergarten is Tony." She handed the dog to Bella, and then walked over to me with a stuffed Santa Claus. "You can hold him. He plays music."
Bella laughed and said, "That's perfect, Mags. Edward plays music, too. Really well, as a matter of fact."
I wound up the key on Santa's back, and he played "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town." Judging by his worn and dirty appearance, he was a year-round favorite. "That's a lovely song. Thank you for letting me hold him."
"Just give him back when you go," Margaret warned. "I need him."
Bella chuckled and said, "I know what you mean, sweetie." She slid off the bed and came over to put her arms around my waist. "I need my music man, too." After glancing at her watch, she added, "I think it's getting late. We should probably go; it'll take us at least an hour to get to the pub." We were scheduled to meet her friends soon.
"Are you sure? You've hardly seen your family."
She shrugged. "I knew it would be a short visit. I hope this motivates them to come and see me next time." Bella and Margaret gave each other loud smacking kisses, and I took my love's hand to make the rounds of her family members for a goodbye.
"At the rate you've been driving, we'll make it back to Morristown in minutes," I teased her as we climbed back into the sedan.
Bella grinned smugly. "Something about being back here and knowing the roads so well -- it brings out the speed racer in me."
"I'll say." For a human, anyway.
"This is a beautiful car, Edward Thank you for renting it."
"Do you want one?"
She hit the brake in shock. "What, you'd just give me a Mercedes Benz worth $200,000 like it was an apple?"
"I'd give you both if I thought for a second that's what you wanted." A flashback of Bella with her niece, in the kind of domestic scene she would never fully be a part of with me, drove me to think of ways I could nominally make it up to her.
Bella pulled up the emergency brake and ran her hand through my hair. "All I want is you."
I leaned into her touch. "You already have that."
"Exactly my point. You're an older model, which means you have a standard transmission, plus you've got all the options I need." She grinned before driving away. "Please don't let me come home to find a Mercedes parked in front of the house. I know it won't be Mrs. Farrelly's and I'll know it was from you. The alarm clock is enough."
"For the time being."
She sighed, then laughed. "You don't need to do anything like that, really, Edward."
"I haven't had a girlfriend in more than 100 years. I have a lot of great gift ideas stored up."
"Give me the gift of music."
"I've been trying to. You'll finally part with that antique you call a stereo?"
"No, I'll allow you to take charge of the music in the car. It doesn't have to be Bruce. Find something you like."
"You're trying to distract me."
"Is it working?"
"Not really."
Bella had been smiling the whole time, but her face turned suddenly serious. "This really means a lot to you." It was a statement, not a question.
"Yes, actually it does. I feel like there's so little I can do for you, and I really have the means to-" She was already shaking her head.
"Edward, you don't understand," she said sadly. "You really don't see what you've added to my life?"
"Sure I do. I'm contributing an element of danger that's off the charts," I said, unable to keep the bitterness from my tone.
Her brief look of anger quickly turned to distress. "That's so untrue," she said. "And let's not forget that you make a lot of sacrifices to be with me."
I snorted. "I'm not sacrificing anything. I'm grateful every day that I found you and that you allow me to be in your life. You've saved me, Bella."
She sighed, glancing out the window to her left. "It makes me so sad to hear you talk like that. I don't know how to get you to understand how much you've done for me, how much I love you." Bella clasped my hand. "You're an amazing man who's taken the best of what can be learned over nearly two lifetimes. I get the benefit of all that. You took what was inflicted on you and turned it around and made a life out of it. You resist your instincts every day to protect me and everyone else. Why can't you see that?"
"I know what a monster I am. I've killed people, Bella."
"Before you knew better," she said, her tone still dejected. "You could have killed me quickly, but you didn't. You hated me for making you feel vulnerable, and you could have easily just...removed me, but you didn't. I can't even imagine how hard that was. You didn't know me then. But the better part of you held you back. You didn't hurt me."
"You give me credit for too much. I didn't realize it at the time, but I wanted you in other ways, too. I am nothing if not selfish," I replied quietly.
"Aaargghh!" Bella flung her hands in the air in frustration. "Tell you what. If you start thinking about yourself as the good man you are, I promise I'll really try to think of myself as someone you can actually love."
I was about to jump on her for the ridiculousness of that statement -- as if I could feel any other way toward her -- but I knew that would only spark another continuous loop of conversation where we both denied what we had to offer. I moved back to our original conversation.
"Where does my desire to give you a gift once in a while fit in?"
"Hmmmm..." she murmured, tapping her fingers on the steering wheel. "I hate thinking you bought something for me because I need it and can't afford to get it myself. On the other hand, I don't really want or approve of frivolous things, either. So that creates a bit of a dilemma."
"Well, thank you for acknowledging that, at least."
"Maybe...just don't do it that often? If you can hold back on the quantity, I promise I'll leave the quality up to you."
I pulled back sideways in my seat to stare at her in shock. "Really?"
"Yeah. Probably. I guess," she said reluctantly. "You just met my father. You now know why I'm sensitive to any inference that I can't support myself."
I did understand that a little better; I could see how a soul as sensitive as Bella had a difficult time thriving in the wake of a father who couldn't express what he really felt, so it essentially came out sideways. "I know, love, I do," I said. "Please remember that I like doing things for you out of the joy of being able to do it. I've lived my whole life without having that kind of fun. Don't deny it to me now that I've found you."
She raised an eyebrow. "That sounds suspiciously like a guilt trip."
I shrugged. "If that's what works." She knew my grin meant I was teasing her.
"Okay. I did promise Alice, anyway. I'll try to be better about it, even though being gracious is not in my nature," she replied.
After arriving at the bar, Bella and I remained with her friends for a few hours before she reluctantly said we should call it a night. I could see in her face that she already missed them as we shook hands and exchanged hugs; I heard in their minds how much they wished she had a longer visit. I was delighted that Bella's friends seemed satisfied with me as her companion; judging by their internal reactions, they intuited our love and closeness. I was glad for myself, of course, selfishly wanting their approval, but I was also happy for Bella, because I knew it was easier on her if her family and friends approved of me. The fact that she lived clear across the country now didn't matter; she would want to know that our relationship sat right with them. For that matter, so did I. I was enormously relieved that no one seemed to suspect anything about my true nature.
"That was just wonderful. Oh, Edward, they liked you very much," Bella said warmly as we left.
"I really liked them too," I assured her. "I can tell they're all good people. They care a great deal about you, and that alone gives me reason to appreciate them. I wish you had such good friends in Washington."
"I have you and your family," she assured me. "Alice has become a good friend, too, you know."
"I'm happy about that as well," I said. "I hope you're ready for her whirlwind tour of every clothing and shoe store in Manhattan tomorrow. Are you sure you want to go?"
Bella had decided that she preferred us to go to New York City tomorrow with my family. I was surprised, partly because I assumed she'd want to return to more places in New Jersey and partly because Alice didn't even nag her about shopping. She'd concluded this on her own.
"Oh, sure. I kind of miss New York, too. It'll be fun," she said, grinning.
We were about to turn left into the inn's parking lot when a car ran a stop sign and almost hit us. The idiot behind the wheel motioned for us to back up.
Bella raised her eyebrows in disbelief. I was just about to dash out of the car and give him the fright he deserved when she rolled down the driver's side window.
"You had the stop!" Bella called out to the driver, calm but angry.
He began yelling at her and I moved again to jump out of the car, but Bella must have known I'd try that because her hand shot out to stop me.
"How about if I call the cops? I can wait 'til they get here and see you ran the stop sign," she yelled, still polite but much louder. With a sharp jerk, she pulled up the emergency brake and folded her arms across her chest.
The driver began cursing, but I had no time to react as Bella roared impatiently, "Back your ass up buddy!" Still muttering, the other driver threw his car in reverse and moved to where he'd been a few minutes ago.
I looked at her in amazement. I'd never heard her talk like that. Scowling, Bella drove into the parking lot and glanced over at me.
"What?" she said, confused by the way I was regarding her.
"I think I'm afraid of you right now. In fact, I think Emmett would be afraid of you right now."
She laughed. "Really? I should do that more often."
"I had no idea you had such a temper."
"Only with people who deserve it."
She'd cut Janice down that day in the pharmacy when Pete made the delivery error. Bella could stick up for herself when she needed to; it seemed she was even learning to do that with Charlie. These were parts of her that might have taken me forever to discover if our relationship wasn't unusual to begin with. I gave her credit for being stronger than I may have thought.
My phone buzzed with a text from Alice informing me that they had returned to the hotel. I'd asked Alice to pick up something for me in Manhattan, so I replied that we were on our way back and I'd stop by her room after Bella and I got in.
I wondered how Jasper had done in New York today. If it was crowded, he might have had difficulty handling all the emotions of thousands of people crowding him on the sidewalk. I wasn't looking forward to hearing the thoughts of all those people tomorrow, though I'd become proficient at tuning them out. Jasper, however, had no such blocking advantage; anyone walking by him who was feeling sorrow, agony, anger, irrational happiness or even lust would pass along those feelings to him. If they just returned, however, he must have managed it well, because they'd been in the city all day.
Bella and I entered our suite, and I stayed for a few minutes before excusing myself, explaining that I needed to talk to my family. When I returned, she had changed into her usual sweat pants and tee shirt, and she was sitting on the bed, reading. She looked up with curiosity when she heard me shut the door.
"Everything okay?" she asked, looking concerned. Her eyes widened when she saw what I had in my hand.
"Yes, and I hope it continues to be okay. I have a gift for you, and I'm a little concerned you're going to be mad at me," I said with exaggerated nervousness.
"What? Edward, you shouldn't-" She began the expected response, but I shushed her.
"I know. You did tell me I could buy you a gift, right? As it happens, we are in the perfect part of the country for me to get you something I know for a fact you'll like."
"You know it for a fact?" She was distracted for a moment by my smug certainty.
"Yes, and I'm hoping that means you won't tell me to back my ass up." I handed her a small, gift-wrapped box from Tiffany's.
Bella reached around and pulled on the back pocket of my jeans until I was sitting next to her. "Keep your ass right here." She glared at me as if she was going to protest again, but then shook her head and began unwrapping.
Inside the box was an elegant single string of pearls, fashioned into a choker. Bella's eyes widened again and then filled with tears.
"Edward, it's beautiful." She stared at me in wonder. "You bought this for me?"
"Of course." I waited for the usual signs of annoyance that I'd spent money on her, but there were none. Instead, she leaned over and kissed me over my forehead, eyes, and nose, before drawing back to look in my eyes again.
"No one's ever done anything like this for me. They're perfect. How did you know that pearls are about the only jewelry I like?" Tears squeezed out the corners of her eyes, then she laughed as we both said, "Alice."
"I used Tiffany's Web site to choose the one I thought you'd like best. I had Alice pick it up today," I explained, suddenly shy in the face of her unbridled gratitude. I'd honestly expected an argument.
Bella threw her arms around me and whispered, "Thank you." We kissed for a few extremely passionate moments before I pulled away to say, "Put it on. I'd like to make sure it fits."
"Can you help me with it?"
I secured the clasp and moved her slightly by her shoulders so I could see her with the pearls. Perfect. She was as lovely as I'd ever seen her, even wearing a ratty tee shirt. What made the look complete was the radiant smile on her face.
"I have to say..." I started, sounding slightly confused, "you're taking this awfully well."
She blushed and ducked her head. "You know how uncomfortable I am with this. I'm trying to accept your presents because I know they come from your heart. And I admit," she said, fingering the pearls, "I have always secretly wanted a necklace exactly like this."
I pulled her on my lap and hugged her. "You have no idea how happy that makes me."
Bella raised one eyebrow. "Don't get carried away. I don't want to wake up some morning and find a Mercedes in my driveway."
I laughed. "Now that's the Bella I usually see. Just let the other one come out every so often."
****
Author's Note:
A few events in this chapter might seem insignificant, so let me make a couple of points about them. Bella's motion sickness comes into play later on, as does her intermittent temper. They become part of the events – not huge, but integral -- as the story winds down. I mention this so you know they are important and not some just things I threw in for the heck of it. I know the chapter is long enough as it is!
Speaking of which, I made an editorial decision to cut out the part where Edward and Bella meet her friends. It made the chapter too long, so Bella will talk about that a bit in the future. The important event here is that Edward has met her family, and I wanted the reader to get his perspective on her relationship with them.
Thanks again for reading! Reviews are the best Christmas present, and they don't cost a thing.