Chapter 3: Moving Forward and Back Again

Bumblebee POV

It's been six months since Sideswipe came back online and while he's physically in great condition again, unfortunately he still doesn't remember much of anything. I spend more time with him now than I did previously. As a matter of fact, he has taken to driving Mikaela around whenever I'm busy with Sam. He seems to like her a lot and she keeps him out of trouble. Whenever we're on base, though, it's a whole different story.

I like jokes and pranks as much as the next person, but Sides has really gotten out of hand lately. I think he's doing it all to get Sunstreaker's attention but his twin isn't paying that much attention to what Will Lennox refers to as 'acting out'. Apparently human teenagers are notorious for such behavior. I've noticed that Sideswipe 'acts out' the most whenever Sunstreaker is scheduled for a mission. Sunny usually gives him a very patient look, calms his fears as best as possible, then heads out with Prowl and Ironhide, leaving Sides with me or Bluestreak.

Earlier today, though, I heard yelling coming from their quarters but I knew Sunstreaker was in the city with Prime pulling guard duty for our leader while Prowl stayed on base to read over some reports about Decepticon activity. I stood outside the room, listening to him ranting and raving in some language I didn't understand and then I heard something hit the wall. That's when I figured I'd better call for backup.

"Prowl, this is Bumblebee."

"Is there a problem, Bee?"

"There might be. I'm outside the twins' quarters and Sideswipe sounds like he's tearing the place apart."

"I'll be right there." Our link cut, I stood by and waited for Prowl's arrival. I turned when I heard footsteps and found not just Prowl, but Ratchet as well. I gave Prowl a curious look and he sighed heavily. "I brought him in case Sideswipe needs to be sedated. Have you spoken to him yet?"

"Not likely," I answered. "I do not have a death wish." Prowl nodded and stepped past me to knock on the door.

"Sideswipe, it's Prowl. I wish to speak to you." Another crash and Prowl moved closer to the door. "Sideswipe, I must insist you open the door at once or else I will be forced to open it for you." We heard footsteps and the door opened showing us a very irate Sideswipe whose glare was focused on Prowl.

"What makes you THINK I want to talk to you much less see you standing at this door?" I'd never seen Sideswipe so angry, especially at Prowl. Prowl sighed softly and tried to reach out to him.

"If this is about sending Sunstreaker with Optimus, you must understand that he still has a job to do…" Whatever Prowl was going to finish saying didn't get said as Sideswipe lunged at him and took him down to the floor beneath him. I stepped back. I was good a fighting, but, liked I'd just told our sub-commander, I wasn't suicidal. Ratchet acted much more quickly, grabbing Sideswipe and yanking him off Prowl almost angrily.

"What in the name of Primus has gotten into you, Sideswipe? Have you completely lost your mind, attacking a senior officer and the head of security at that?" Sideswipe was seething and I think, if Ratchet had not been holding him, he'd have gone after Prowl again as I helped him stand. Prowl looked at him, worried and confused.

"Sideswipe, I can't help solve the problem when I don't know what the problem is. Please, talk to me."

"Stay the slag away from my brother," Sideswipe growled out angrily. I looked between him and Prowl, unsure of what was going on. Prowl pulled himself up to his full height and stepped closer to Sideswipe. Maybe Prowl had a death wish…

"I will only say this once, so please make sure you listen very closely. You obviously have knowledge of something private in nature and that knowledge is not sitting very well with you at the moment. Suffice it to say, should your brother choose to agree with your request, I will honor it, but until then, you have no say on where I go and whom I am with. I understand you are in a great deal of mental pain and I am very sorry for all you have lost, but you have to understand the toll all of this takes on your brother as well. Ask yourself if you would truly take him away from something that keeps him grounded when he needs it most." He stepped even closer and his voice dropped down to a low whisper.

"Also understand that I shall only let this type of behavior go by once. You were shocked and upset and so it is quite understandable. However, attack me again and you will be spending your free time in the brig without the company of your brother. Do we understand each other?" I watched as Sideswipe nodded slowly. Prowl watched him closely then nodded and stepped back. "Go with Ratchet and let him see if you've damaged anything during your… tantrum." With that, Prowl turned and walked away. I had kept my own peace during all of this but once Prowl walked away, I turned to Sideswipe and Ratchet.

"Sideswipe," I began softly, "what were you thinking, attacking Prowl like that?" Sideswipe looked at me and tried to pull away from Ratchet, but his face wasn't angry any longer; it was merely sad. I stepped closer and put a hand to the side of his face as Ratchet released him and sighed heavily. "Sides, what's going on?"

"I just want Sunny to come home," he whispered in that child like tone that he'd come back to us with. "I don't like being alone. I need him here; with me." I saw Ratchet nod slowly and then cross his arms over his chest plate.

"And would you truly deny him the right to be happy, even if only for a little while?" Ratchet asked. I had no idea what they were talking about, but I figured it had something to do with Sunny and…. Ooooh. Never mind. I decided then and there that this conversation wasn't one I wanted to be caught in the middle of so I quickly made my excuses and left, promising Sides I'd be back for him later. I really needed to get out of that hallway and clear my head of images I really didn't need to have…

Ratchet's POV

I watched Sideswipe as he stood there and let Bumblebee walk away. I knew the little one didn't fully grasp the consequences of what he'd just seen and I wasn't up to explaining it all to him just yet. I'd had a suspicion about Prowl and Sunstreaker but I'd left it alone thinking it was just my overactive imagination. Now I knew better and Prowl had been the one to give me the truth. I looked over at Sideswipe once more and I felt somewhat unhappy for him because he was caught in the middle, wanting his brother to himself and yet, not wanting to make him unhappy. I realized then that he hadn't yet answered my question.

"You didn't answer me, Sides," I said quietly as I began to lead him to the infirmary.

"I can make him happy if he'd just let me."

"You know that, he knows that, hell, even I know that, but here's the problem." We reached the infirmary and walked inside as I closed the door behind us. "Sunstreaker has a strict and non-negotiable code of morals and honor when it comes to you and right now, with your memories gone and your mental state the equivalent to a child, he does not feel right being with you in that way. To him, it feels wrong and he won't do anything to hurt you, physically or otherwise." Sideswipe sat on the metal table and sighed heavily, swinging his legs back and forth slowly.

"I'm not a child, though. Why can't he see that, memories or not, I'm still me!" I sighed, not really sure how to answer that. Turns out, I wasn't going to get a chance. "And why… tell me why he went to Prowl instead? I thought he loved me."

"Look at me, Red," I said softly, causing the red twin to look at me. "Your brother loves you more than I've ever seen one mech love another. You are two halves in a whole, the parts of one that cause the other to function. Without you, there is no him and vice versa. But you have to understand. Sometimes, there are those in our lives that we keep close at hand because we know they understand what we've lost, what we need, and how best to keep us from falling apart. Right now, for Sunstreaker, that happens to be Prowl."

"I don't understand," he whispered softly.

"I know you don't," I answered, patting his leg as I began running my scans on him. "When Prowl lost Jazz, it hit him like nothing else ever has. There were days when I honestly thought I was going to find him already dead in his office or his quarters. There were days, he later told me, when all he wanted to do was die so he could be with Jazz again. There wasn't anyone around to help him, to be there for him, to keep him grounded. That's why he left for a few weeks right after the arrival. That loss cost him almost every part of himself that was left.

"When Sunstreaker thought he was going to lose you, it was Prowl who stood by him, who got him back to his quarters at night, made him recharge, made him eat, made him get out of the base so he wouldn't go crazy. It was Prowl who Sunstreaker shared his concerns for you about when you finally came out of your stasis. And right now, Prowl is the one he trusts to help him get over this semi-loss of his bond mate. Now, you don't have to like that he's taken up with Prowl, but you damn well have to let him live his own life, even if you think what he's doing is wrong. You have to know and believe that, whenever he feels like you remember or that you're up to par so to speak, he will come back to you and he will never leave your side again." There was silence for several minutes as I finished my scans and then Sideswipe sighed softly.

"I should apologize to Prowl," he whispered softly. I nodded slowly.

"Yes, but, you'd best wait till tomorrow for that. I want to keep you here overnight. I'm a little concerned but you should be okay. I'll let Sunstreaker know where you are when he returns, okay?" Sideswipe nodded and I pushed him back on to the table. "Now, get some rest. I'll be back in a little bit." I watched his optics darken and then stayed with him a little longer, just to be sure he'd fallen into recharge before I left to speak with Prowl about what had happened…

Short chapter, I know. Sorry. If I'd kept going, this thing would have ended up like ten or more pages long. Anywho… please keep the comments coming so I'll know to keep writing more. Thanks! PS – went and saw Hairspray tonight and OMG that was such an awesome musical! Okay… thanks and have a great weekend.