-1Regarding Sideswipe Chapter 6

Optimus POV

Knock, knock

I looked up from the reports on his desk as someone knocked on my door. I wasn't expecting anyone but then too so many things happening lately had been unexpected, I should be use to it by now.

"Come in," I called, setting the reports aside as the door slid open and Sunstreaker stepped inside.

"Am I interrupting anything?" Sunstreaker asked quietly as the door closed behind him. I shook my head and stood up, waving Sunstreaker further into the office.

"Shouldn't you be in the infirmary resting?" It had been three days since the Decepticon attack on our base in which I'd been shot and Sunstreaker had been knocked unconscious. He'd only come back online earlier this morning.

"I'll go back there in a little while," he answered quietly, sitting down in a nearby chair. "I need to talk to you." I could hear the tone of fear in his voice and it worried me. Sunstreaker is never afraid. I sat down next to him.

"Is this about what happened the other day?" Sunstreaker nodded slowly.

"I screwed up," the yellow mech whispered, his head bowed. "It's my job to protect you, my job to make sure that, no matter what, you stay safe and secure at all costs. I didn't do my job." I sighed heavily. I should have expected this, should have seen it coming. "I think you need to reassign me somewhere else."

"No," I answered quietly. That made him look up at me.

"I could have gotten you killed. I was more concerned with protecting Sides and Prowl that I didn't think to protect you! I can't do my job!" He was getting upset and he stood, pacing the office and I could feel the anxiety radiating off him in streams. I sent a silent transmission to Ratchet and Prowl then turned my attention back to the twin in my office.

"You didn't shoot me, Sunstreaker. That was Scourge's doing and, from what I heard, he paid for that with his life." Sunstreaker looked back at me, head tilted in confusion. Ahh. Apparently he'd not been told of his twin's actions after he'd gone offline.

"What are you talking about?" Sunstreaker asked. I slowly shook my head. I could not be the one to tell him that his brother had become a murderer. "What happened?" He screamed, slamming his hands into my desk. He looked up at me and I saw the moment he realized that something bad had happened because all the anger and all the fight left him and he dropped to the floor. I stepped closer to him, hoping he wouldn't go into another fit of rage.

"Sunstreaker, there was nothing you could have done…" Those were not the words I should have used. Sunstreaker flew into another rage, but this time it was aimed at himself. Pushing himself to his feet, he slammed himself into my wall and I grabbed him before he could do it again, just as my door opened admitting Ratchet and Prowl.

"What…" Prowl began only to see Sunstreaker struggling in my grasp. "Sunstreaker!" He yelled at him. The yellow mech in my grasp stopped struggling immediately, his optics turning to focus on his… his what? What was Prowl to him? Lover, yes, but was there more going on than we knew? I released him and he fell against my sub-commander who held him tightly. Ratchet watched them for a moment then turned to me.

"Are you okay?" I nodded slowly.

"He came down here to talk with me about the attack the other day and then everything just went downhill from there." Ratchet nodded and looked back at Prowl.

"Get him back down to the infirmary. I'll get Sides and meet you there." Prowl nodded and led Sunstreaker out of my office and back to the infirmary. Ratchet turned back to me. "I'm going to put him on ND status until further notice. Physically he should be okay within the week, but I'm not sure about his mental status at the moment." I nodded slowly. "Did you know that he and Prowl…"

"I knew," I answered quietly. "Prowl and I discussed it the day of the attack. For right now, leave them be. I'll deal with it all later." Ratchet nodded then turned and left my office. I watched him go then sat down in the chair and dropped my head into my hands. How had everything gotten so out of hand in such a short amount of time…

Prowl POV

I led him down the hall, my arm around him supporting some of his weight as we walked. He was confused, anxious and unhappy and for the moment there was nothing I could do for him but be here to hold him. I should have known he'd go to Prime, confess his faults as it were, but the faults were not his alone. We had both committed faults that day and we would both pay for them.

"What were you thinking, Sunny?" I asked him quietly.

"He's going to deactivate me anyway, might as well get my confession in while I could." I stopped walking and pushed him against the wall, watching him carefully.

"Why do you think Prime is going to have you deactivated?" He looked up at me and there was so much pain in those blue optics.

"I didn't do my job, Prowl. I put your life ahead of his. I put Sideswipe's life ahead of his. We almost lost our leader because I couldn't do my job and if I can't do my job then there is no reason for me to be here." I stepped closer to him, close enough that if I were to breath, our bodies would have been touching.

"No one will be deactivating you, Sunny. You have my word." He looked at me for a moment then nodded slowly. I pulled him back towards me and we finished the walk to the infirmary. Ratchet came in just behind us with Sideswipe in tow as Sunstreaker sat back down on the table. Ratchet looked at him for a moment then over at me and Sideswipe.

"You two," he said, pointing at myself and Sides. "Wait outside." I grabbed Sideswipe before he could start arguing and pulled him out into the waiting room with me. Once the door closed behind us, I turned to him slowly.

"Sunstreaker believes he is going to be deactivated for protecting us," I told him quietly.

"They wouldn't do that to him, would they?" he asked me somewhat fearfully. I shook my head, letting go of his arm.

"I gave him my word that I would not let any such thing happen to him." Sideswipe nodded slowly. "Listen, I realize the last few days have not been good ones and I know you and I have things to discuss…"

"I heard you that night," he whispered softly, stopping whatever else I might have said.

"Excuse me?"

"I heard you, the night of the attack, when you were leaving the infirmary. You told me that you would care for me just as Sunny did if only I'd let you. You brushed your fingers across my forehead and then you kissed me there. Then you went over to my brother and you told him you loved him." He looked up at me, taking a step closer to me. "Did you mean what you said?" I knew, looking into the mirror image of the optics of the mech I had come to love, that I could not lie to him, could not take any of what I'd said that night back.

"I meant every word," I answered softly.

"I remember everything," he said, stopping right in front of me. I tilted my head slightly.

"Define everything," I said, my voice somewhat raspy in tone.

"I know who I am. I know what I am. Most importantly, I know what my life was like, at least, up to the point where Bumblebee, Jazz, Sunny and I were captured by Megatron and the Seekers. Anything before that, I'll likely never get back." I nod slowly, trying to comprehend everything he's telling me. "I know that I love Sunstreaker, that I have since the moment we first came online and I know, without a doubt that he has and always will love me." There was a smile on his face that I couldn't comprehend.

"What are you saying, Sideswipe?" He reached out and placed a hand on the side of my face.

"I'm saying that you make him happy, that you love him and that I am okay with that, so long as you promise you won't take him away." He dropped his hand from my face as the door behind me opened and Ratchet stepped out.

"I'll release him tonight with the understanding that he is watched all night and made to rest," he said almost reluctantly. Sideswipe looked at me and I nodded slowly. Sideswipe looked back at Ratchet.

"I need to talk to him first," he said to the CMO. "May I?" Ratchet nodded and Sideswipe left us alone in the waiting room. Ratchet came around to look at me.

"You okay?"

"I will be," I answered quietly.

Sideswipe POV

I walked into the exam room where I saw Sunstreaker still sitting on the table, head bowed, optics dim, but I knew he was awake. I could feel it in my core, just as I can feel everything he's feeling and vice versa. As the door closes behind me he looks up and slides off the table coming towards me. I open my arms to him and he steps into them and I close my arms around him, holding him tightly.

"I love you," I tell him softly.

"Do you?" he asks, stepping back and looking at me intently. I smile and nod slowly.

"Always have, always will," I answer before kissing him softly. "By the way, I remember." Sunstreaker looked at me in shock before grabbing me and kissing me again. I broke the kiss, laughing softly. "Guess that means you're happy."

"You could say that," Sunstreaker answered with a grin. "You here to spring me then?" I put a hand to my brother's face and slowly shook my head. Sunstreaker frowned slightly. "I don't understand."

"We need to talk, bro," I said, never losing touch with him. "And I need you to let me talk and you to listen. Okay?"

"Okay…" Sunstreaker answered softly.

"I know you love me. I know that it was stupid of me to attack Prowl over your relationship with him and I'm sorry for that, but some part of me felt as if I was losing you. I should have known that, no matter what, you'd always love me. But, that being said, I know he makes you happy and I know he loves you."

"Excuse me?"

"He loves you. I heard him tell you when you were lying here after the attack the other day. He told you he loved you before leaving for the night. Sunny, he hasn't said that to anyone since he and Jazz were bonded." Sunstreaker nodded slowly.

"I remember," he answered. "We were there." I smiled up at him.

"Yeah, we were. And Prowl has always been our biggest supporter once we were bonded."

"I know," he answered softly. "I don't want to lose you, Sides." I came closer once more and kissed him gently.

"You will never lose me. Never. But I want you to do something for me."

"I want to stay with you tonight," he whispered, kissing me again.

"I know, but right now, I need you to stay with Prowl. Just tonight. He needs you right now. He needs to know he's not on the losing end of this deal." I watched Sunstreaker's eyes cloud over for a minute. "What is it?"

"I'm going to lose him anyway."

"What do you mean?" Sunny sighed heavily.

"I have a feeling Optimus is going to force the issue after what happened. I screwed up, bro. I wasn't doing my job. I should have been protecting him regardless as to what was happening to you or Prowl and I didn't. I put the two of you before my leader." I nodded slowly.

"Then, just in case you're right, don't you think you should spend what time you have with Prowl before you're no longer able to do so? You have me forever. You don't know how long you have with Prowl." I watched him think this over then nod slowly. "Good. I'll let him know you're ready to go. And Sunny?"

"Yeah?"

"I promise you, I'll do whatever I can to help keep us all together." Sunstreaker gave me a somewhat shocked look but I just grinned at him before turning and walking out of the room. It felt good, having the upper hand with him for once… but I knew he'd be thinking of what I'd said and I knew I was going to do whatever I could to make sure what I'd told him was truth.

Sunstreaker POV

I didn't say much as Prowl led me through the halls to his quarters. My mind was filled with everything that had happened or been said and I was still trying to comprehend all of it. Sideswipe had his memories back; all of them. Everyone seemed to know about my relationship with Prowl and didn't seem to mind. I'd screwed up my job and I had a feeling Prowl and I would end up being called down for it within the next few days. Sideswipe was right. I had to take what I could get now in case it all ended soon.

As we entered Prowl's quarters, I had to wonder what my lover was thinking. Did he worry that this would all be over soon or did he, like Sides, believe everything would be okay? Prowl has always been the more sensible one on base, but sometimes even he can be pessimistic like the rest of us. As the door behind us closed, I knew I had to ask him.

"What are you thinking about?" He led me to the bed and sat me down before he began pacing in front of me slowly.

"I am wondering just how much time we actually have left together," he answered quietly. I nodded slowly.

"Me too." He looked over at me and then knelt down in front of me, taking my hands in his.

"The day of the attack, Prime asked me if I could just turn my back and walk away from you, from what we've had these last few months. I told him no, I couldn't, but that I would if I had to in order to save you or Sides."

"What makes you think I'd let you go?" I asked him quietly. He smiled up at me then and squeezed my hands in his.

"You do know you wouldn't have a choice, right?" His tone had grown serious again and I sighed heavily and nodded. "All we can do is, as the humans say, hope for the best and be prepared for the worst."

"Does that mean you want me to go then?" I asked somewhat fearfully. He leaned in to me, pushing me back onto the bunk and crawling over me as he did so.

"You are not going anywhere, Sunny," he whispered softly. "Not now, not anytime soon if I have my way." He slid his hands up along my sides and I shivered at his touch and Primus, he knew exactly where to touch. He leaned down and kissed me until the gentleness went away, replaced by something harsh and raw that coursed through us both and I knew that if tonight was the end, I wouldn't have had it any other way…

TBC…