*Disclaimer - Sadly, I own nothing of Twilight with the exception of merchandise, bought and paid for. I do, however, own my love for borrowing the characters and playing with them however I choose to. I thank Stephenie Meyer for creating the TwiWorld and for allowing us to have our fun with it. She owns Twilight, the insanity it created in my mind is my own.
A zillion thanks to sshg316 for beta-reading this entire story. I'm trying to mind your lessons, Shug! :D
Whatever Works
Eternity
The holidays came before we knew it. The extended family worked together on healing. Edward and I spent Christmas Eve at Maggie and Ben's so that we would all be together for Evan on Christmas morning. It made my heart sing to see Edward so happy. Afterwards, we all went over to Alice's house for Christmas dinner.
"Is your mother very upset with us for keeping you from them, dear?" Esme asked Emmett with grave concern. He and Rose were supposed to spend the holidays in New York.
He shrugged it off. "I had to swear on my life that we'd be there for Easter. No big deal. She understands. You're like a second mom to me anyway." His lovable grin reached Esme, and she relaxed. "Oh, and Edward? Next time you're in New York, no hotel. You've gotta stay with my folks. That was part of the deal."
"Sweet!" He grinned broadly. "I've got the best out of this deal."
"You'll love Em's parents, Bella," Rosalie announced. "I don't know how his mother gave birth to a kid this size – she's super tiny – but she's a little titan! And his dad is hilarious!"
Esme smiled as stories of New York and the McCartys came out. She was much quieter than usual these days, but she was adapting well to the new living arrangements. Edward was also healing, slowly but surely. He had learned to stick around and work on it rather than running when things got tough. Having Alice take over some of his obligations to their mother had really helped. He needed the separation while they worked things out. He had developed some worry lines, but for the most part, he looked healthy and happy.
Evan was really wound up after dinner. Luckily, he had several playmates, as the men all reverted to little boys when he unwrapped more toys from his aunts and uncles, and of course, his MayMay. Maggie, Rose, and I cleaned up the kitchen while they played.
"You know, I'm quite worried that Edward's taking all of this so hard," Maggie professed. "We love him being part of our lives, but we don't want him to give it all up just for Evan."
"He's not," I assured her. Edward and I'd had many talks about his future plans. "Of course, Evan is the main reason. He's the most important part of his life. But Edward wasn't happy with how things turned out. He hates the spotlight. Being under a microscope, being told what to do…"
She let out a hearty laugh. "Aye, he's never been good with that!"
"This is actually good. It's pushing him to make change and do what's in his heart. Thank you for letting us be part of your Christmas, Maggie. It meant the world to him to be there. I have to tell you, I'm quite enamoured with your son, too."
"Aw, sweetheart! He adores you, too! You're so welcome – any time! I'm looking forward to –"
"Mummy! Look what Unka Em taught me!" Evan flew in, interrupting our talk, and proceeded to make a loud popping noise with his finger and his cheek. Each time followed by a fit of giggles.
Never able to resist his raucous laugh, I giggle-snorted. Evan laughed at me until he got the hiccups, at which point, Jasper hung him by his feet to rid him of them.
"Jazz! You can't do that!" Edward exclaimed, dashing towards them. "He just a–"
Before he could finish the word, Evan demonstrated why he shouldn't be hung upside down after dinner.
"Ew, projectile." Jasper cringed, flipping him back over and holding him under the armpits.
Edward smirked, covered in the regurgitated meal. "Yeah. That's why you can't do that."
Maggie rushed to take her son off Jasper, giving him a slap for making the poor little guy spew. Alice and Rosalie both went to work mopping up the floor and dabbing at Edward's soiled clothing while Jasper looked on in shock.
"Kid didn't come with a manual, Mags. How would I know he was gonna hurl like that?"
This struck Edward as highly amusing, probably since he would have done the same thing just months earlier.
"What is the ruckus in here?" Esme hobbled in on her canes and gasped at the sight.
"I throwed up, MayMay!" Evan shouted over the laughter. His eyes were wide, as though he was just as shocked as Uncle Jasper.
"Oh my dear! You certainly did!" She gazed worriedly at her grandson and then took in the mess of her son before she too erupted in laughter. "You look just like your dad after the first time you flew as a toddler! Carlisle was always on edge flying with you after that!"
"That's why I hate flying?" Edward quipped. "Okay, well, I guess I'm going to dash out to the car for yesterday's clothes. Dirty and wrinkled is better than stinky, right?"
I wet a cloth to wipe down Evan's face while Edward went to change. "Feeling all right now, Ev?"
He still looked shocked, but his cheeks were rosy and his eyes bright. "Unka Jazz made me throwed up."
"I know, sweetie. Silly Uncle Jazz." I made a face at Jasper, and he shrugged innocently. "Would a sip of water help?" I asked Maggie. Truthfully, I was still learning about toddler care along with Edward.
Evan sipped slowly, licking his lips. He reached out for his dad the moment he came back to the kitchen. Edward held him tightly, stroking his head.
"I'm sorry about that, buddy. We have to be more careful, right?"
Evan whispered into his ear, drawing a chuckle from Edward. "I don't think more cake is a brilliant idea right now. Maybe Aunt Alice will let you take a piece home for tomorrow."
Maggie and Ben smiled approvingly at his smooth decision. Our first Christmas together didn't end so badly after all.
~ 0 ~
Once Christmas was over, we got down to serious planning. Alice was going to take the next semester off and stay in London with her mum. That pleased both Esme and Edward. Jasper was going to return to New York in the new year and see about the possibility of a transfer to his publisher's London-based outfit. Rosalie put off any gigs booked for the upcoming month so she could travel with Emmett. He was recommencing security for Edward for the time being. Maggie enlisted her mother once again to take care of Evan once her school term started. All of this was arranged without Edward asking for any of it. Emmett was right – his A-Team was looking out for him.
Esme and Siobhan babysat Evan on New Year's Eve so we could all go out for a bit. We found a small pub and tucked ourselves away in a corner, lost in the crowd. Our group was more subdued than the other partiers. The night held a mix of emotions for us – wonderment over the sense of security we all felt with each other and apprehension over what would follow in the coming months.
The first morning of the new year was a lazy one. Edward and I, enjoying the house to ourselves, slept late. We made love when we woke and then slept some more. I woke first the second time, lying quietly beside him, just staring at his peaceful expression while he slept. Softly, I brushed aside a lock of hair that fell across his forehead. It was getting longer now that he didn't have a role that required a certain cut. It was messier than ever and wonderfully sexy on him. Some deeper bronze tones were coming out as it grew out the last color it had been dyed. When his breathing changed, indicating he was waking, I nibbled on his chin before kissing his lips.
"Mmmm," he hummed as he pulled me on top of him. "Great way to kick off the year, huh? Could we do this every day? Take a break from life and just be lazy together?"
"You can do whatever you want to, Edward. No one's telling you what to do now."
His gaze turned solemn. "I'm still trapped. And I hate that you've been dragged into it with me."
"I'm where I want to be," I assured him softly. "Beside you. Whatever happens."
Our quiet chat was interrupted by a phone call from Jasper. He wanted to discuss an option with us and would be over shortly. We took a quick shower together and had just sat down with some coffee when he arrived with Emmett.
"I've been thinking," Jasper began once the four of us were seated in the sun room. "You need new management, right?"
Edward scowled. "I suppose. It's going to be a hassle, though. I'm not taking on new work, so finding representation won't be easy. You have an idea?"
He nodded. "Better. I have a friend." He cracked a conspiratorial grin. "She's handles our PR right now, for the publishing house. Travels with authors on book tours. Coaches them and whatnot. I think she could help you."
"I don't know, Jazz. You know I don't take coaching very well." Edward frowned, leaning back in his chair with his hands folded on top of his head. "And that doesn't solve my management problem."
"But it may – she's done representation in the past. She may be able to convince one of her old friends to take you on temporarily. Plus, she's not your average PR person. This lady's got some balls. She knows her stuff and doesn't take shit. But she's real – not a suit. I think you'd get along great with her."
Emmett piped in when Edward hesitated. "Meet with her. What've you got to lose?"
"I'll ask Varner what he thinks." He huffed when he saw his two friends exchange a look. "What?"
"Well, if you want your lawyer to take care of it, then let him. He can slap a law suit on Jessica… and Mike for that matter. You know your mom's involvement will come out."
"Fuck," Edward hissed, rubbing his face.
"I thought you decided we were going the open route – expose yourself and flush out Jessica?" Jasper inquired.
"Yeah. I'm having second thoughts."
"Why?" All three of us asked in unison.
He glared at the guys before turning tortured eyes on me.
"No," I stated firmly. "No, you're not doing this, Edward. You're not going to back out of something that's best for you because of me. I won't let you."
"She's up to the task, Edward," Emmett prodded gently.
"Would either of you sell out your girl this way?" he fired back.
"If you don't, I will." All eyes turned to me with my statement. It unnerved me, but I held my ground. Tilting my chin up, I continued. "I'll go to the press. The blogs. Create my own blog – an 'Edward Masen Tell-All by His Girlfriend.' I'm serious."
"You wouldn't." His face fell, and my heart pounded.
"I won't expose Evan, but yeah. I'll throw myself out there to the wolves."
"Bella…" Edward looked at me pleadingly, but I still held strong. "Why? You don't have to do this."
"If you ever want a life – if we ever want a life – yeah, I do. But I'd rather do this together."
~ 0 ~
Five of us departed for New York the next day. The McCartys settled for a visit from Edward and me, while Emmett and Rosalie stayed there. We went with Jasper to their condo; it was easier to duck in and out of through the parking garage, and it had twenty-four hour security in case anyone got wind of Edward Masen being there before we were ready to go public. It was there we met with Jasper's friend, MJ. Varner had his associate, Eric Yorkie, fly out with Angela to present papers for her involvement with Edward and discuss options once more. We convinced Edward not to revisit the buy-out option with Jessica. She'd already received money from him, but clearly, she would never get enough.
While they were there, Angela and I went out for a quiet dinner together. She gave me the play-by-play on Jessica's stupidity and told it with a sarcastic flair that I adored. Seeing the humorous side of it for a little while was a tremendous relief. I was eternally grateful for her loyalty to Edward but even more thankful that she was a true friend to both of us. We wouldn't be able to do this in LA and risk Jessica finding out we were working together against her, but we took each other's personal contact information to keep in touch.
Six of us flew to LA the day after Angela and Eric returned home, now bringing Edward's newest team member, MJ, along with us. Jasper had been right in knowing we'd hit it off – she definitely knew her stuff, but she was super easy to be ourselves with. Edward even let his guard down with her, as they acted out hilarious scenarios for the paps to capture.
"We're going to over-expose you and Bella," she informed him. "Purposeful set-ups for photo ops. Ridiculous headlines to follow. You know how it works. I hope you've got a strong resolve, Bella – and the ability to look away from the magazines at the check-out."
"And Esme's collection," I added with an eye roll. "I've been over-exposed to Edward's headlines for a while. I'm used to –"
"The bullshit?" MJ suggested.
"The bullshit," I concurred. "It will be weird seeing myself, though."
"And that's what we're aiming for – for the public to see you. Together. I don't want an act, either. They need to see the real you."
"Edward Masen is an act," he advised. "I'm not him."
She gave it consideration for a beat before smirking. "Act like you're not acting then, all right?"
"You can't be perfect, Edward. You'll make me look like a complete goof if I'm just myself and you're Perfect Edward Masen. Bring a little Cullen out, for me?"
MJ snorted out a laugh. "You'll definitely have to let me know to call the paps if the little Cullen is making an appearance in public. Jesus, someone could retire on the sale of those snaps!"
Edward scowled at me as I was struck with a fit of giggles. "It's not so little, I'll have you know," he protested with a humorous lilt in his voice.
"Will they need their zoom lens, darling?" she bantered back.
"Certainly not!" He scoffed at the notion as he slouched down in his seat, throwing his arms over the back of the couch. "I'll have you know it's quite impressive."
She cocked an interested eyebrow. "You are full of secrets, aren't you?"
"And himself," I cracked.
He snickered beside me. "It's as monstrous as my ego."
MJ fanned herself dramatically. "How do you manage to contain yourself so close to him, Bella? I'd be all over that, what with his humility and all – whew! Such a catch! You should have no problem being yourself out and about then, right? Bring the swollen head along for the ride? Bella could put the monstrous alter-ego of your cock on a leash and take you both for a walk. Quality money shot right there!"
"Pfft! Please. My girl doesn't have to leash it. It's completely trained. And it would follow her wherever she went."
"Always the romantic." I gave him a kiss for that one, even if he was being silly.
"Trained or not, that thing would go viral. Probably better to keep it under wraps. I mean, PDA is one thing, but PDC will only prolong the public's interest. We want exposure of a different sort."
She had Edward blushing and struggling not to giggle like a little boy, talking about his manhood that way. I was glad it was easy to relax around her, but I had some concerns about what exactly she envisioned for us. "PDAs?"
Switching off the teasing banter, she nodded in my direction. "The two of you are going to make the rounds together. Wherever Edward is, I want you to be seen with him. I'm not saying you should hump each other on the red carpet… unless that's your thing. Do what feels natural for you. You can practice tonight."
"Tonight?" I gulped, suddenly nervous that all of this was about to actually begin.
~ 0 ~
Our first 'outing' was only semi-public. MJ thought it would be better if we eased into our new roles in a more relaxed setting. It would make the gala events easier, apparently. We returned to the private club Edward had convinced me to go to on the night I had first met Rosalie. Emily actually agreed to come with us, so this time we were a party of six, with Sam using the valet service so that he could join us.
Having the advantage of truly knowing Edward this time, I noticed that while he wasn't exactly behaving like himself, he was definitely more comfortable than he had been the first time in this club. He still looked like he wanted to sink under the table, but he wasn't downing the drinks like he would have back then. There were also no trips out to the patio. I now knew that was for him to smoke… whatever he was smoking that night. He did have a few drinks after dinner, relaxing just a bit more. It also helped that no one seemed to notice him in our booth, and it was just like a normal night out with our friends. He had expressed this was his desire – to just be treated normally.
Whenever the guys would get into business talk, the girls and I would go dance. I returned to our table without them once, needing a sip of my drink, and Edward pulled me down into the bench seat beside him. He kept hold of my hand after I was seated and leaned in close to talk quietly. Sam and Emmett went to dance with their girls and give us some privacy.
"Having fun tonight?"
I smiled widely. "I am. Do you know the last time I went out dancing was in high school?" It was sad but true. The seven year gap in any sort of social life seemed like it was ages ago, but in reality, I was still reacquainting myself with it. Knitting and working on puzzles with Esme was social, but this was different. This made me feel my age. It also reminded me of everything I'd been missing and what I would still be missing out on if I hadn't taken a chance on Edward.
Edward saw the sadness of my statement, rather than the cheery outlook I'd meant to convey. He ran his hand along my cheek, looking deep into my eyes. "I'll make sure you get more of this."
"No! Edward, I'm not complaining!"
"You wouldn't, no. Doesn't mean you shouldn't have these sorts of nights more often. After the hype has simmered down, you should get a girls' night together. Go hit the London clubs. I'll fly in whoever you want – make it a whole weekend."
I smiled appreciatively. "I'd just want Rose and Emily. Oh, and Angela!" My excitement grew a little, thinking all of my new girlfriends together. "Alice is already there. Would Maggie come out with us?"
Edward chuckled, giving my hand a squeeze. "I'm sure she'd like that. As would Lauren."
"Oh! And MJ! She'd be a blast on a girls' night!" I cut my wish list off when I saw the smile on his face. "What?"
"It makes me so happy to see you like this, Bella. You have no idea. I love our time together, don't get me wrong. But you need this, too. Your eyes are all lit up. You're full of life." He brushed my hair aside and caressed my cheek. "You look beautiful."
I smiled, feeling just as he described.
Edward ran his thumb across my lips and then brushed his lightly against them. "Do you know this is technically our first date?"
"Our first public date. We kind of had dates up in your rooms. I'm not the kind of girl who sleeps with a boy even before the first date."
He snickered at my correction. "No, you're not. If things had been different, this is how I would have wanted it to be the first time I brought you here."
I rolled my eyes at him. He may be more sober than he was the first time, but he was getting just as sappy. "I was a last minute replacement for Emily, remember? I had guck on my face!" Tingles ran through me as he laughed softly against my ear.
"You were adorable. How could I not have wanted you after seeing you like that?"
A snort. And another eye roll.
"Seriously, Bella. I wanted to ask you out, even then! I just… I don't really do that. At least, not since school."
It was my turn to laugh. "So we're not so different?"
"Oh, we're different. You had no opportunity for socializing, and my social life came to me. I didn't have to do any hunting or asking. Things just evolved into whatever they were going to be. I don't know how I didn't blow it with you – that's not your style. You have so much patience with me."
My laughter petered off. He wasn't being cute. He was completely earnest. His eyes dropped, and his hand lifted. His fingers toyed with the tiny rings on my chain.
"Your sisters told me what these are," I announced. He still hadn't said anything to me about them. He would still think that I saw them as a lovely gift and nothing more.
"I know," he whispered.
Damn! When would I ever get it through my head that everyone told him everything? I clammed up.
A half-drunken smirk graced his face. "Nothing more to say about that?"
I shrugged. "I haven't read the book. I just know that's where the design came from. They're beautiful, and it has something to do with your story, but that's all I know."
He hummed, his smirk expanding. "Well, I'll give you the abridged version." He cleared his throat and sat up straighter. "In the story, Evan wants to live his life with his Shadow. But she's not actually real. She is to him, of course, but she isn't human. Her time in his world is fleeting. She knows this but attempts to make their last days together the best for him. He knows it but won't accept it. He even considers finding a way to stow aboard the alien ship when they land to pick up the Shadows. She knows he will die in her world. He knows he can't exist without her in his."
"That's sad," I whispered, enthralled with the way he told his story. "Is that why Maggie named your son after him? Because she can't exist without her Evan?"
When I looked up at him, his eyes were squeezed shut. "Essentially, yes. But this isn't about Maggie. Or even Evan. Listen closely, Bella – this is about you and me. Story Evan decides that he's going to live out his dream on their last day together. He knows it's the end, but he's going for broke. He's going to propose to the girl he loves. He's going to make her his wife. And even if it's for only one day, he will have lived his dream. He has a local artisan craft rings to fit their fingers out of a random piece of metal he discovered when he was examining the landing site. Evan was disgusted with himself – he thought his Shadow deserved better than scrap. She should have gold, or at least silver. These are white gold, by the way – ours. My jeweller couldn't get platinum in on time to get the rings made." He paused to smile at me, running his finger in circles around the tiny charms.
"Platinum?"
He hummed as he nodded. "That's what the scrap turned out to be. It was from his Shadow's planet, actually. The jeweller in the story was kind enough to place three small gems in one ring, and when they were finished, Evan went to fulfill his destiny. He approached her with remorse, with it being their last day and him feeling like he'd let her down without proper rings for their union. She had never looked more beautiful to him, and he even contemplated not giving her the piece of scrap metal – he didn't truly know its worth. He felt it would mar her beauty.
"The strangest thing happened when they were face-to-face – he could suddenly hear her thoughts, and they told him that nothing was more precious to her than the love he encircled her with. Emboldened by this thought, he got down on one knee and vowed to love her for eternity. He passed her the ring she would place on his finger, and together, in their private marriage ritual, they each put the rings on each other. Evan gazed at his bride, utterly amazed at how she could possibly grow more beautiful – but she had. She was bright and vibrant and full of life."
"Human life? From the platinum?" I asked hopefully.
He nodded. "I know. So clichéd."
"So unlike something a teenaged boy would write!"
Rolling his eyes, he snickered. "Tell me. Honestly, I think that's why I won the competition – the judges must have had a bet going that I was either gay or lying about my identity. They wanted to see proof."
"You're so full of shit!" I slapped him playfully. "It's really deep and romantic."
"This is from the book, not my original story for school. I'd found my inner chick by then. She's quite stunning, by the way – my inner chick. A bit of a whore, though. Too flashy." He laughed along with me, declining another drink when the waitress stopped by the table.
"So Evan and his Shadow got to stay together?" I drew him back to the original conversation when the waitress left. "And live normally?"
"Now you're listening!" He grinned proudly. "You're seeing the connection here?"
"These rings mean we will live normally?" I hazarded a guess.
His brow furrowed as he gave that some thought. "I can't guarantee normal, Bella. I wish to hell I could. The rings… are my way of accepting that Shadowplay was more than a stroke of luck. It was a life change. Destiny." His eyes bored into mine, reaching my heart and soul. "I had it all wrong… my story. See, I wrote Evan's Shadow as being what he wanted her to be. I was wrong. He wanted what she became."
I squinted in confusion. Edward wet his lips, smiling at me shyly as he took hold of both of my hands.
"She became his driving force in life. He had a purpose once she was there with him. He felt more at ease with her than he ever had, because he thought he had created her from his own idea of perfection. It made him a better person and, in essence, more worthy of her love. I've grown enough to admit that the Evan character was modelled after me, and I depicted him as desperately wanting someone to accept him and love him for who he was. Now I know that what he truly wanted was to feel that kind of love himself. She was the one who gave him that."
Releasing my hands, he scooted around the bench to leave the table. He stood beside me with a smile more beautiful than I'd ever seen. His eyes were shimmering with emotion. And maybe one drink too many. I had a feeling he was going to ask me to dance, and I didn't know if he was really ready for that – to have a room full of people watching us in such close contact. Sitting at a table having an intimate talk was one thing, but being in the center of the room was another.
"You gave me that, Bella." He dropped down to one knee. "You're my Shadow."
My heart felt like it was about to pound up and out of my gaping jaw. "Edward…"
"I never knew I could love someone this way –"
My face scorched with heat. I tugged on his arm, whispering frantically. "Edward, get up! People are looking –"
His grin broadened. "I don't give a shit. I'm with my girl. I haven't given you the attention you deserve. You've taken the back seat too often, and it stops now." He took my hand again and kissed the back of it. This was the boldest bit of acting I'd ever witnessed in person. "One day, I will do this again. Properly. That's what the rings mean, Bella. I want you. Only you. Just as you are. It's my promise to you, as Evan promised his Shadow… and we've established that character is me." He stood, still holding my hand, pulling me to my feet. Damn, his husky voice was so sincere. "I need to know one thing before we take that step."
"What?" The word came out as a squeak as I stared up at him. For that moment, no one else in the building existed. This wasn't an act. This was a new Bold Edward Cullen, and he was captivating. A tiny fear wiggled its way to the surface, wondering what else we had to get through to just be together.
Edward bent to speak softly against my ear. "I need to know what precious metal you'd prefer, so I can commission our jeweller for the real ones. Platinum? Gold? What will make you mine for eternity, Bella?"
"I think I already am," I replied, breathlessly. A camera phone flashed nearby, drawing us out of our bubble. "This is amazing. You listened to MJ – basically took her orders without arguing. I thought we'd spend weeks outing ourselves, but you did it the first day. You made her job in this so easy."
"As long as you're pleased, that's what matters. Let's go all out. Dance with me." Edward's crooked grin and twinkling eyes lured me to take him up on his request. It wasn't the most graceful of dances – he practically had to support my weight as my body struggled to stay upright. I felt like collapsing. Or floating. Instead, I snuggled against his chest and let his strong arms hold me. The feel of his warm, steady breath against my head revived me.
And his love… well, his love had brought me more than I could have ever imagined. I'd spent so many years doing whatever worked to just get through my days of solitude. I couldn't even dream up a life like this. Couldn't fathom a love like this. I could empathize with Esme – the need to protect this sort of love was enormously strong, but I would never resort to manipulation in order to keep it. As Edward pledged his love for eternity, we both pledged to do whatever worked to keep this glorious bubble of ours intact to protect our love and not forget where we came from.
Whatever we faced, we would face together.
A/N ~ For those anxious for a follow-up on Jessica, check out the epilogue. The family was always the story. Her witchy ways were only to force Edward out of his shell. ;) Otherwise... did Edward do well in the end? Let me know what you think!
Since I am so incredibly lax on responses, I'm giving a shout out to all of you who took a moment to review. My new readers and readers who've been there from the start... I appreciate you all. :) Thank you to theonlykyla, who goes all out with every story and nominates them all over the place - girl, you are a rec'ing machine! lol And to my often times DEAR (drop everything and read) pre-readers, sshg316 and msj2779, my undying gratitude. The edits, the bubbles, and snickers made this trip so much better for me. Thank you all for reading. Epi is next. XX ~ SR