Notes: Two exams down, one more to go. Sorry about the lack of updates lately; I've been studying since I had two exams back to back, so I didn't have much time to type up much more than a couple of drabbles and the like. I'll have more up soon.
Title: Fragility
Fandom: Durarara!
Pairing: Shizaya
Part: third part
Words: 3275 words
Prompt: Shizaya, cuddling... Just any IC fluff. ;_;
Disclaimer: It's not mine. It all belongs to others who I am in no way associated with and I make nothing from writing this, got it?

part three

Two weeks later...

Okay, so there were a number of things that Shizuo could name that he missed about how Izaya had been before. Like his strength, or how he seemed to show no fear to anyone no matter what – that he missed, along with the banter. That was weird, but seeing how Izaya acted now was almost unrecognizable from how he'd been before.

And yeah, he was damn well allowed to complain if only to himself.

Well, he was getting used to having a roommate. If someone who was bedridden and still looked like they might have been hit by a bus at least. Izaya was strangely quiet. Shizuo got the feeling that it probably hurt to talk, even now.

Shinra had tried to explain it to him – something about ghost pains... maybe – but Shizuo didn't get all the medical jargon that he'd used. It all sounded like bullshit to him.

The bruises had faded somewhat, leaving them a rather ugly greenish-brown that looked completely unhealthy and only made Izaya look worse. On the bright side, though, his other injuries were healing well but he was still almost completely covered in bandages from head to toe.

When Shizuo slipped into the room after a long day at work, his phone vibrated in his pocket.

-Before you ask, yes I'm awake and yes I would like something to eat.-

Oh yeah, Izaya had his routine down. It probably didn't help that he got in late from work which meant a late dinner. Celty was usually the one who made sure that he ate his lunch and took the antibiotics with it that had been prescribed to him.

His phone buzzed again.

-How was work?-

And no, it wasn't creepy at all that he and Izaya were developing some weird sort of domestic situation. Not at all. It was... strangely pleasant.

Kicking his shoes off and dropping his keys in the bowl on the table by the door, he trotted down the hallway to his bedroom. The door was ajar and he opened it slowly before slipping inside.

Most of the medical equipment was gone, with only a pile of various salves and bandages occupying the night-stand along with the bottles of antibiotics that Shinra had prescribed Izaya to take. There was a half-empty glass of water sitting on the small table too.

The curtains had been pulled back from the window which had been opened a crack – probably Celty's doing – letting in the last few rays as the sun sank below the horizon. Izaya was sitting up in bed, propped up on several pillows that had either been pulled from Shizuo's closet or bought recently for the informant.

"Work was good." Shizuo rolled his shoulders to work the kinks out of them as he walked over. He gave the informant – ex-informant, there was no way in hell he was letting Izaya go back to that fucking job – a warm smile as he walked over. "Celty stopped by right? What did she bring you for lunch?"

Izaya returned the smile, although he was much more subdued than Shizuo's, and picked up his phone to type out a message. -Russian sushi. She bought otoro. It was good.-

The bandages around Izaya's neck were stark white, a constant reminder of the fate that he'd just barely escaped from. Judging by the bruises and ripped skin on his hands, he'd clawed whatever rope had been wrapped around his neck off before escaping.

Shizuo pushed that aside. He really didn't need to be thinking about that now; it still elicited a dark rage in him that was hard to quell.

Gently, Shizuo reached out to cup the back of Izaya's head – mindful of his injuries – and leaned in to press his lips against the other's forehead. It didn't escape him that Izaya leaned just a little into the touch, eyes lidded over dulled crimson eyes as the blond pulled away.

"I'll start dinner, anything in particular you want?" Shizuo asked softly.

-It doesn't matter; anything is fine.-

"Alright, let me know if you need anything."

Izaya nodded in response before settling back against the pillows and looking back out the window.

Returning to the kitchen, Shizuo noted that it was still weird to be living with someone who couldn't actually talk. For one thing, it probably hurt to talk given all that bruising and damage – and he had to quickly avert his thoughts from that as he started dinner or he'd be at risk of cutting off one of his fingers – but Shinra had also advised against it. At least for the time being.

Honestly Shizuo missed their arguments; it was just too weird to have an Izaya who couldn't talk. The quiet was unnerving, he kept expecting someone to jump out at him or something.

For the past two weeks, he'd been on edge. Shizuo wasn't an expert on people or gathering information, but the rest of the populace seemed to be whispering about what could have happened to Izaya since he wasn't around anymore. None of them actually seemed to know anything, but it pissed him off anyway.

The lack of answers was getting to him, he didn't need other people speculating about it; that only made it worse.

No pushing. I promised that I'd wait until he was ready. And even then, Shizuo himself would probably not be ready. He... wasn't sure if he could control himself, his anger – vengeful as it was – if he found out just who was responsible for what had happened.

Fuck, he already blamed the yakuza for what happened, since it was pretty damn reasonable to assume that it was because of them that Izaya had gotten into whatever shitstorm of a situation it had been to begin with. And yeah, he wasn't a genius but he knew that it was a fucking stupid idea to take on the whole underground by himself.

Right now, it was more important to help Izaya heal. Even if he never could be who he was before.

Shizuo could live with that, could live with a changed Izaya even if it broke some part of his heart for what was lost. So long as he was alive then he was fine. He could make it through this – they could make it through this.

Dinner was simple; Shizuo couldn't make anything fancy but having lived on his own for so long had meant that he'd become pretty self-sufficient. Izaya didn't complain about the food.

What he probably would complain about if he could, was the fact that it was too painful for him to actually feed himself. Even doped on the pain meds it was awkward and he tired quickly, leaving Shizuo to help since he had to eat to keep his strength up.

Shizuo would be lying if he said this wasn't awkward.

"Oh come on, if you don't eat then you're just gonna be stuck in bed for longer."

Frowning, Izaya gave him the best glare he could manage. It wasn't very intimidating since he actually wasn't too opposed to letting Shizuo feed him and that he had only one eye with which to glare with. Eventually he just gave him and opened his mouth wide enough. He'd more or less adjusted to having to depend on the blond for almost everything – he couldn't make it to the bathroom without dragging himself across the floor since one of his legs had nearly been shattered.

Don't think about that, don't think about that...

Shizuo knew that Izaya didn't have much an appetite and couldn't stomach very much at a time, so he set it aside on the night stand once he knew that Izaya was full. He'd gotten so used to doing this that he could just look at the ex-informant's body language and know when he was done.

-Thanks.- Izaya held out his phone to show the message to Shizuo.

"It's nothing. Do you need anything else? Bathroom?"

Izaya paused for a moment, mulling over the question before he responded. -Would it be too much to ask for a 'bath'?-

Much to his credit, Izaya's cheeks were a bright shade of red as he held out the phone for Shizuo. This never got any less awkward.

"I'll have to change your bandages."

-I know. That doesn't matter.- He paused. -It'll help me sleep. Please?-

Shizuo sighed, "Alright. Wait here and I'll go get everything ready."

Before he could get up and leave, Izaya grabbed the hem of his vest. He fumbled a little to type up a message with one hand, but eventually managed. -Thank you.-

"It's nothing."

It took Shizuo about twenty minutes to get all of the towels, water, bandages, and scissors together in the bathroom that he'd need. Once he had everything ready and waiting, he went back to fetch Izaya. Even though it was necessary to clean his wounds and just his body in general, it was often a difficult and time-consuming task, but Shizuo didn't mean. Despite how awkward the entire thing was.

When he re-entered his bedroom, Izaya had already set aside his phone and was sitting up and waiting for him. He turned his head when Shizuo entered the room and managed a small smile for him.

It nearly broke Shizuo's heart.

Despite all of his injuries, Izaya was beautiful. The dim light filtering in through the window and from the lamp through his features into surprisingly warm relief, the bruises fading out and he looked... healthy. Or at least his skin did. The bandages remained stark white in contrast, however.

Shaking himself out of that, Shizuo focused on the task at hand. He could admire the other later, once he was asleep and couldn't see it if he broke down.

Very carefully, he scooped Izaya up into his arms. He was mindful of the leg that was encased in a cast and the wounds on his sides that were healing over but would leave scars. Cradling Izaya against his chest, he slowly made his way out of the room. It didn't escape him that Izaya almost instinctively curled closer to his chest, one of his arms hesitantly sliding around his neck to better support himself.

He'd left the bathroom door open and the shower door was also open so that he could set Izaya inside the stall. The informant let him place him on the cool tile, shivering a little as he tried to help Shizuo remove the loose sweat pants from around his waist.

Removing the cast took a little more work. He undid all of the velcro straps and carefully pulled off the front panel and gently eased Izaya's leg out of the cast and gently set it on the ground.

It didn't escape his notice that Izaya flinched as he did so.

"Sorry."

Izaya shook his head and gave him a weak smile as though to say it's alright. He leaned into Shizuo's touch as the blond softly cupped his cheek in apology before taking his hand gently in his and giving it a comforting squeeze.

"This might hurt."

Picking up the scissors, Shizuo carefully snipped the bandages on Izaya's arm and began the long task of unwinding them. As the bandages came free – Shizuo having to be careful to not cause anymore damage than was already done – they revealed bruised, burned, and cut skin. They were healing, some better than others, but the deeper gashes would leave scars and the burns would probably leave marks of some kind or another.

Despite that, it took a lot of effort for Shizuo to fight back his anger. He had to focus on Izaya, not on how he wanted to tear the bastards who did this limb from limb – and he no doubts that he could do that but Izaya was far more important.

Before he could continue with his work, Izaya caught his hand in both of his. Something in Shizuo's demeanour must have tipped the brunette off to his thoughts. He opened his mouth but Shizuo placed his hand over it before he could even attempt to say anything.

"No talking. Doctor's orders." Not to mention the pain that it would cause.

Izaya closed his mouth and frowned, but then flipped Shizuo's hand over in his and carefully began tracing out what he wanted to say on the blond's palm.

I'm sorry.

"What are you apologizing for?" Shizuo blinked.

You're angry. It's my fault. I'm sorry that I'm forcing you to go through this.

"Izaya..." Oh fuck, what was he supposed to say to that? "None of this is your fault, got it? Don't ever say that it is."

But–

"No. It's not your fault. I'm not angry at you – I–" Could never be angry at you. Can't you see how much this hurts me? Let me help, please, I love you. "–know this is not your fault. We'll get through this." I promise.

Thank you.

The rest of the activity was done in silence. Shizuo keeping his anger tightly lidded inside of him and doing his best to be supportive and comforting to Izaya. The words that he wanted to say kept burning at the back of his throat but he couldn't say them.

It just didn't seem to be the right time.

He could wait.

Re-bandaging all of the wounds took time and quite a lot of concentration on Shizuo's part. He had to make sure that they were snug but not so much that they'd cut off the circulation. Izaya was practically falling asleep against him by the time he was finished, but he didn't mind that so much. Once he was done he only paused to throw the old bandages into the garbage by the sink before gently scooping Izaya up into his arms.

Maybe it was just the worry and fear and love getting to him, but the way Izaya fit in his arms just felt so right.

And the way that he just curled into Shizuo made his heart flutter wildly in his chest and shoved all of that anger away. He tightened his arms around Izaya just a little more, holding him just a little bit closer.

Izaya was practically asleep by the time that he was gently laying him back down in bed, but his hands were fisted tightly in Shizuo's shirt. Carefully disengaging them, Shizuo leaned down and very hesitantly pressed his lips to the ex-informant's as he tucked him in. The words slipped past his lips.

"I love you."

.:-o-:. .:-o-:. .:-o-:.

-Last night... he said he loved me.-

If she'd had a head, then Celty would have been frowning. As it was she just typed up a message. [ And? ]

-He was gone before I woke up this morning. I didn't get to ask him about it.-

[ Well, it was kind of obvious. That he loves you. ]

Izaya was trembling as he typed up a response. -How? I...-

Placing her hand over his, Celty stopped him from completing that message. Her touch was cool and reassuring, so different from Shizuo's Izaya realized with a shock. When had that happened?

[ He always has. I can tell. It just took the realization that he nearly could have lost you for him to recognize that. ] Celty paused before typing up a fresh message. [ And how do you feel about him? ]

-I don't know... I'm scared that I could... I could be putting him in danger.-

[ And? Shizuo doesn't care. He wants you to be safe. ] Celty inched her chair closer to the bed. [He blames himself for what happened. ]

That made Izaya freeze. How could Shizuo feel that way? This was his fault; his for being weak, for being unable to protect himself, for being so stupid. Shizuo had nothing to do with any of this. It was... all his fault...

"You're a pretty one, we'll have to thank them for sending you later!"

His heart leapt up and pounded wildly in his throat, eyes wide but unseeing, palms sweating. No. No. Don't take me back there... I don't want to go back there. Save me, save me, save me! Shizuo!

Hands were on his shoulders. No! NO! Let go of me! Let me go!

He tried to lash out, pushing away from the one holding him, but they held him fast and that only made it worse. Izaya could feel his breathing become shallow and he felt light-headed. Everything hurt but he ignored it.

Pain. Pain. It was overwhelming.

He had to get away. Had to. Not safe.

Not safe... not safe... Needed to...

Shizuo...!

He must have passed out at some point because by the time that he opened his eyes again, Shizuo was sitting at his side and there was no sign of Celty. A quick glance out the window told him that night had already fallen. Just how long had he been unconscious?

The blond looked tired. Tired and worried. His eyes were clouded and watching Izaya closely; relief seemed to seep through him when he saw that he was awake.

"Hey." His voice was rough and, now that Izaya looked closer, his eyes were red and just a little bit puffy. Had he been crying?

I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you...

"How are you feeling?" Shizuo looked worried; well, he looked worried and ragged.

Fingers gently pushed back stray hair from Izaya's face, and he leaned into the touch. Shizuo meant safety, warmth, protection... love.

Was he taking advantage of Shizuo? He didn't know.

Izaya blinked, realizing belatedly that Shizuo had asked him a question. His phone was pressed into his hands, Shizuo's fingers lingering just a little on the back of his knuckles and again Izaya was reminded of just how different his touch was to, say, Celty's. The realization was still fresh in his mind.

After a few fumbling attempts with the keys, Izaya managed to type out a response.

-What happened?- He was evading the question, he knew that. He didn't want to think about how he felt, not when... not when he was so confused and unsure.

"I don't really know. Celty was in a panic when she messaged me – said that you started panicking and attacking her. Apparently she got a hold of Shinra too and he said to give you a sedative – which she did and no I don't know why that was here." Shizuo gently took Izaya's hands in his, giving them a comforting squeeze. "I was worried. I thought – I thought something might have happened."

-I'm sorry.-

"This isn't your fault." God, was that going to become his mantra? Izaya wished he wouldn't say it with such sincerity because it was completely his fault and he knew that. Why couldn't Shizuo see that?

"Izaya, please I..."

And he just could not take that, could not take seeing Shizuo so broken and hurt and lost. It crushed something inside of him and he felt something that felt distinctly warm swell in his chest.

Weakly he wrapped his arms around Shizuo's neck and pulled him towards him as tightly as he could. For a very brief moment, Shizuo froze, but then his arms were around him and Izaya found himself almost dragged into Shizuo's lap.

The last message Izaya typed up went unread.

-I love you.-

.:-o-:. .:-o-:. .:-o-:.

What do you think? Hope that everyone is enjoying this – we still have quite a ways to go with Fragility being at about 29 000 words at this point and still not quite finished it yet. But it's coming to a close.

As always, reviews are very much love and very appreciated.

Twilight.