Notes: So lately I've been itching a little to start work on the sequel, but I keep holding myself off since I want to finish this one before I dedicate any of my time to another fic. I've been neglecting a couple of my others fics lately just with how much focus I've been giving this one... but the good news is that I think it will be finished soon.
Title: Fragility
Pairing: Shizaya
Part: eighth part
Words: 4159 words
Prompt: Shizaya, cuddling... Just any IC fluff. ;_;
Disclaimer: It's not mine. It all belongs to others who I am in no way associated with and I make nothing from writing this, got it?

part eight

Later that night, Izaya found himself curled up at Shizuo's side on the bed and just listening to the regular sound of his breathing. Dinner had been a rather quiet affair, but it was nice to just spend time with the blond. He knew that Shizuo was more nervous about the operation tomorrow than he was, but he'd be there and that was enough.

Shizuo's fingers were gently carding through Izaya's hair. He noted a little absently that it was longer than he remembered it being before, glancing down at the other told him that the brunette was drifting off. The longer hair made him look younger too.

"How are you feeling? Tired?" He wasn't sure why he was asking when it was obvious, and it wasn't like the silence was getting to him. That was something he'd gotten used to.

-A little tired. I feel fine otherwise.- Izaya flashed his phone at him.

"Nervous about tomorrow?"

-Not really.- Izaya paused and moved just a little closer. -You'll be there so I'm not really afraid about it.-

Shizuo bit back what he wanted to say about that, he wouldn't pile his fears or worries up on the brunette; not when they could make it worse. He'd spent too much of the day internally debating everything that could go wrong, from infection to complete loss of mobility or even amputation and death – and he knew the last one was just crazy thinking, but it had still been there and niggling at the back of his mind.

It made it hard to concentrate when he was supposed to be doing his job and it had frayed his temper just a little bit – but that seemed to work for him. People were a little more likely to be co-operative when they could plainly see that he was in a bad mood. Well, most of the time. Still didn't stop some people from harassing him.

Like that kid in the Raira uniform who looked like he was about to piss himself after working up the nerve to approach Shizuo and ask him about Izaya.

He did kind of recognize the girl with him – Raira uniform, large breasts, she looked kind of familiar but he couldn't say how he knew her – and she didn't look too happy about it either. Shizuo wasn't sure if that was because the kid was asking about Izaya or if she just had a bit of a grudge against the blond.

Whatever the case, he'd told them both to mind their own fucking business and leave him alone. He wasn't going to go about blabbing about what was wrong with Izaya and why he hadn't been about fucking with the city. There were enough rumours floating around about it, he wasn't about to fan the fire; not when it could lead people to the brunette.

-Did something happen today? You seem tense.-

Of course the brunette had to be particularly perceptive; he had to notice that.

"Eh, not really. Some high school kids were bugging me today about you, but that's – are you okay?"

He was definitely not imagining the way that Izaya tensed up at that little reveal. Obviously it held a lot more importance to him than it did to Shizuo. Did he actually know the kid? He certainly wasn't family.

Come to think of it, he hadn't seen the twins around in the past few weeks...

Izaya's fingers seemed to fumble a little with the keys as he typed up his next message. -Was he wearing a Raira uniform?-

"Uh, yeah... are you alright?" Shizuo turned and took hold of Izaya's shoulders, keeping his grip firm but gentle. He didn't want to make him panic and bolt or hurt him. "Why does it matter?"

-I didn't... think that Mikado-kun would go looking for me; much less ask you.- Izaya wasn't meeting his eyes, he was staring at his hands and phone. -I was sure that he hated me. It wouldn't... really surprise me if he did.-

"Izaya..."

The brunette shook his head, even with it ducked Shizuo could see there was moisture gathering in the corners. Fuck, what had he done wrong now? He shouldn't have mentioned it, should've just shrugged it off as a stressful day, he should've –

-I do deserve it.-

"That's–"

-Not everyone is as forgiving as you or Celty or Shinra. They won't find it in themselves to forgive me, ever. I just...-

"They don't matter," Shizuo growled. His hands were in fists and right then he really did want to punch something – or someone – right then. "They don't know you and they don't matter."

To that, Izaya didn't respond. Shizuo couldn't tell what was running through the other's head at the moment, had no idea of whether or not he was beating himself up over it or not. He didn't know how Izaya knew the kid or what their relationship was – they could've hated each other for all he knew.

"Hey..." He cleared his throat, "Look, I know that you're kind of worried about what everyone's gonna say or think, but it doesn't matter. Maybe they won't forgive you, but they don't know you like I do; or like Celty or Shinra do. You shouldn't worry about it. Right now, they don't matter."

-It doesn't matter. It still hurts and I deserve it.-

Shizuo gently stroked Izaya's cheek with his fingers, smiling a little when the brunette jumped and looked at him with a single wide eye. It was far too cute, but there were still the tiniest traces of that hollow stare left in him. That hurt, even then, but Shizuo was gradually working towards removing it completely; it was slow progress but it was progress nonetheless and he could deal with that.

"You might think that but you should just ignore it; it doesn't matter." Shizuo gave a little smirk, "And if they make you cry... I'll hit 'em."

-You can't get back everyone on my behalf.-

"No? Well I can damn well try." Shizuo shifted in a more comfortable position, pulling Izaya down with him so that the brunette was curled up against his chest. "You're important to me, I'm going to defend you, no matter what."

-I know. And that goes both ways too, you know. I'll do what I can to protect you, even if there's not much I can do.- Izaya let his head rest beneath Shizuo's chin as the blond's arm slid around him protectively. He didn't doubt at all that Shizuo would keep his side of their 'bargain;' he'd been catching glimpses of that protective streak of his recently.

And he'd noticed it with Celty and Shinra too. Maybe he really did have a place, it was still a lot to take in.

"Don't get yourself hurt," Shizuo added. "Or I will kick your ass."

Izaya gave a small, wane smile. You mean I'll get a stern lecture and a I'm-very-disappointed-in-you speech or something. He had to admit, he'd never gotten that before from anyone. It was... nice to know someone cared enough about him to want to protect him.

-I'll do my best.-

Shizuo snorted, "You'd better."

The rest of the evening was spent in relative silence. It wasn't uncomfortable but was companionable; Shizuo was still feeling a small bit of anxiety over Izaya's operation the next day, but he was trying to squash that down. Shinra was a good doctor and he did care about Izaya and he'd sworn that the operation wasn't going to be too risky. The consequences were a little more serious, but since Izaya didn't seem too worried about them...

He sighed and glanced down at the brunette, not surprised to find that Izaya had already fallen asleep next to him. Again, he was reminded of how peaceful he looked when he slept; how young he looked.

If anyone saw him like this, would they actually want to hurt him? Shizuo gently brushed back a stray lock of dark brown hair as he answered his own question. Probably. Some people were really just that cruel and, to be honest, Izaya hadn't exactly been an angel before, which was something like a huge understatement.

But... looking at him now, Shizuo could only see a few glimpses of that person from before. Inside, Izaya was broken and there was no telling if he would ever recover completely.

At that moment though, Shizuo wasn't sure if he would ever see something that would make his heart swell and ache so painfully again. He was reminded of just how close he'd come to losing the brunette, of just how much he had been put through and how helpless he'd been.

Running his fingers gently through Izaya's hair, Shizuo watched as he breathed evenly; completely oblivious to the world around him. He hoped that, at the very least, his dreams were nice. One of them needed to, because he certainly wasn't going to be sleeping tonight; not with the way that his stomach was tied up into knots.

With a little shifting, he managed to reach his book on the night stand. He pulled the covers up a little more around Izaya before settling in to spend the rest of the night reading; it wasn't his first sleepless night, and he doubted that it would be his last.

The night passed slowly, but it was largely a blur. Sometimes a word or phrase would jump out at him as he read, but for the most part the anxiety lurking in his stomach kept him distracted; it lead to him rereading the same passage several times. Concentration was hard to come by and he kept glancing down at Izaya, almost as though to reassure himself that he was still there.

When the first light of dawn started to make its appearance over the buildings of Tokyo, he set his book aside and sighed.

He definitely needed a shower.

Moving Izaya off of him, Shizuo watched as the brunette's face twisted up for a moment before relaxing against as he snuggled back into the covers and the bed. It managed to get a small smile out of him before he slipped out of bed and into the bathroom across the hall.

Stripping out of his sweats and tee, he tossed them in the corner of the room before turning on the shower and stepping under the water. The warm water eased the tension in his back, soothing his muscles and helping him to relax. Closing his eyes, he focused on the feel of the water coursing down his back instead of the anxiety about the day to come.

This was going to be just fine, nothing would go wrong. Maybe it was irrational, but he was worried about the potential of what could happen.

Well, one of them had to, he supposed, and it certainly wasn't going to be Izaya.

After several more minutes of just standing under the gradually cooling spray of water, Shizuo turned it off and climbed out of the shower. Drying off, he left a towel slung around his hips as he wondered out into the kitchen to start some coffee while he got dressed.

Outside, the sun had already crested the horizon and the sky was painted in several hues of red and orange. A quick glance at the clock on the oven told him that Celty would be there in a few hours, which meant that he had to find something to occupy himself with until then.

He flicked on the TV, making sure that the volume wasn't too high, and left it on the news as he wandered back into his room to get dressed for the day.

Fully dressed, Shizuo checked to make sure that Izaya was still asleep – he was, in fact, he hadn't moved from where the blond had left him – before he went to pour himself his morning coffee and settle in on the couch to watch a little TV. There wasn't much on at this time of morning besides children's cartoons, infomercials, and the news, so he settled for the most informative.

"... another body was pulled from Tokyo Bay last night, but no new information has come to light about the recent string of disappearances in the Tokyo area. Police request that anyone with information pertaining to this case or any of the other's to come forward..."

Absently, he sipped at his coffee, feeling a little more awake now than before. He'd probably need another cup if he expected to make it through the day without feeling like a zombie.

"In other news, gossip has been growing over actor Hanejima Yuuhei and whether or not he and the mysterious blond he has been seen recently with are in fact dating or if they're merely co-workers on the actor's next project..."

Weird, he couldn't remember Kasuka mentioning seeing anyone... but then Shizuo remembered that they hadn't parted on the greatest of circumstances. He was still feeling some irritation over what his brother had said – no matter how 'well-intentioned' it might have been.

It doesn't change the fact that he was the one who was having to pick up those pieces. Izaya was still a very fragile individual and the littlest push could send him spiralling down.

Finishing off his coffee, Shizuo stared down into the mug and contemplated the brown stains it had left.

He definitely needed another cup.

.:-o-:. .:-o-:. .:-o-:./b

Celty wound up arriving at around ten that morning; she knocked on the door with a quick series of soft knocks. He opened the door to let her in, not surprised to find that she had a message waiting for him on her PDA.

[ How is Izaya? ]

"Asleep." Shizuo stepped aside to let her into the apartment.

She shook her head and typed up a new message. [ I figured that he would be, but that wasn't what I meant. How is he taking all of this? ]

"Fine as far as I can tell," Shizuo replied with a shrug. "He's always been good at hiding how he really feels."

[ But you're good at seeing through that. ]

Shizuo shrugged, "Some of the time."

[ Do you want to wake him up and get him ready? I know that Shinra is anxious to get this over with. ]

"Yeah, hang on."

He'd picked up some clothes for Izaya the day before – after running into Celty and letting her help him since he had an idea of what size Izaya was, but not what would be appropriate – and left them in a bag in the hall. Picking that up, he walked the familiar path to his bedroom.

When he opened the door and stepped inside, Izaya was still asleep. He was curled up into a ball on his side, facing where Shizuo had been lying several hours before. It's sort of cute the way he's cuddled up against the blond's pillow and hugging it to him; Shizuo thinks that it's probably the smell.

Reaching out, he gently shook Izaya's shoulder, "Hey, Celty's here so you have to wake up now."

The brunette let out a sigh and snuggled deeper into the covers. Shizuo let out a sigh and shook his head.

"Oh no you don't; it's time to wake up... Izaya-kun."

Izaya responded to that by letting out a heavy breath of air and turning to give the blond a dark glare; it only seemed to grow darker when he saw the playful smile on his face. Shizuo instead just ruffled the other's hair playfully in response.

"C'mon, you've got to get up and get dressed."

Rolling over, Izaya fumbled for a moment as he groped around the night stand for his phone. Once his fingers closed around it, he slid it open and typed up a quick message.

-Shut up.-

"Whatever. Do you need help getting dressed?"

Izaya paused for a moment, clearly thinking over the question. He couldn't walk and still needed help going to the bathroom and bathing himself – his fingers were still clumsy, but everything was healing well. He was going to have a number of scars though.

That was fine, he could deal with it.

-I don't know. So long as it isn't something complicated, then I think I can manage.-

Shizuo nodded, "Do you want privacy?"

Izaya hesitated for a few moments. Arguably Shizuo had seen them when they were worse and he was the one who helped him to the bathroom and bathed him when it was needed, but still... those were instances in which it couldn't be avoided and the blond was always very sensitive about it. But...

-It doesn't matter; you can stay if you want.-

"Alright. But let me know if you need any help."

Pushing himself into a sitting position, Izaya took the bag that Shizuo had been holding and reached inside to pull out the clothes. He frowned a little; the sweatpants had a drawstring waistband and were obviously his size, but they still looked rather baggy. The shirt and the jacket looked like they were a little more form-fitting, but Izaya was pretty sure that the sleeves on the hoodie would be a little long.

There was also a package of boxers in the bottom along with some socks. No shoes though.

Well, it wasn't like he was going to be doing much walking anytime soon. He'd probably be stuck in a wheelchair during his recovery from the surgery anyway so it wouldn't matter.

At the very least, the sleeves would hide all of the bandages; maybe not the ones around his neck though, but those weren't too noticeable unless one was up close. He touched his neck for a moment and frowned.

He hated how he couldn't remember.

Shizuo seemed somewhat happy with that fact, but Izaya found it unnerving. If he couldn't remember anything of what happened, what was stopping them from taking him back? It made going outside that much more terrifying. He wouldn't recognize the culprits. He couldn't do anything.

It made him feel that much more helpless.

Letting out a heavy sigh and shaking his head to rid it of those dark thoughts, Izaya turned his attention back to getting dressed. The only things that he'd been wearing recently were Shizuo's, and the blond was both considerably taller than he was and much more broad in the chest and shoulders. It made everything hang off his frame, but that didn't really matter since all he'd been doing lately had been sleeping and resting.

The tags had already been removed from the shirt, pants, and hoodie, but extracting the boxers from their packaging proved difficult.

He probably would've cut up his fingers more than they already were if it wasn't for Shizuo realizing his difficulty and plucking it out of his hands. After that, Izaya wound up with boxers on his head because Shizuo had tossed him a pair over his shoulder while he went to put the extra pairs away.

-Was that necessary?-

"Ah, sorry." The blond sounded completely unapologetic.

Dropping his phone to the side, Izaya wrestled a little to pull Shizuo's shirt from over his head. It was difficult and he wasn't going to lie about the fact that it did hurt – the movement put all sorts of stress on the still healing injuries – and a sharp pain lanced up his side. He bit down on his lip to keep from making a sound.

After some fumbling and falling over on the bed, Izaya finally managed to wiggle his way into his new clothes. He didn't bother trying to pull his socks on, that wouldn't be worth the pain. Not that it counted or anything, but Izaya couldn't actually reach his feet to put them on.

Shizuo, meanwhile, had settled himself down on the edge of the bed. He hadn't said anything the entire time, but Izaya was guessing that he just might have been smiling a little.

Reaching out, Izaya tugged on the bottom of the other's vest. Once he had Shizuo's attention, he pressed the socks into his hand and wiggled his toes; he didn't feel like typing out what he wanted. It was kind of obvious anyway.

"Hang on."

Izaya hadn't really noticed before, but Shizuo's fingers felt a little callused; probably from all of those heavy objects he kept picking up and those sign posts he swung around all the time. It didn't bother him as much as it might have before; the blond's hands were still warm and gentle as they tugged on his socks.

"Everything fit alright?"

Being jerked out of his thoughts like that, Izaya quickly nodded and flushed just a little. He hoped that Shizuo didn't notice.

Knowing him, the blond probably did. There was a small smile playing about his lips as he straightened up, "Here, I'll help you with your jacket and then we'll go."

Shizuo's hands were gently as he helped Izaya into the hoodie, rolling up the sleeves so that he could stick his arms into them easier. He zipped it up and made sure that the brunette looked somewhat presentable – even running his fingers through his hair to straighten it out a bit – before he gently picked him up into his arms.

Before he did, Izaya had the mind to swipe his phone off of the bed and stuff it into the pocket of the hoodie. He wasn't about to lose his means of communication.

Celty was waiting for them in the hallway of the apartment, her helmet still in place and looking just like she always did in her black jump suit. Izaya had cuddled closer to Shizuo, covering his mouth to hide a yawn as he did so. He wasn't imagining it when he saw her shoulders shake as though she was giggling.

[ The two of you are so cute together! ]

Izaya flushed at that. Were all women obsessed with this sort of thing?

"... don't say that again Celty," Shizuo grumbled.

The dullahan simply waved her hand at them in a dismissive manner, her shoulders still shaking with her silent giggles. Once she'd calmed herself down a little – and Izaya and Shizuo had stopped blushing so much – she typed up a new message that was much more appropriate then musing on their relationship.

[ How are you feeling this morning Izaya? ]

He shrugged. -Fine. I just want to get this over with.-

Celty nodded her head once before turning away and gesturing for the blond to follow her, Izaya in his arms. The elevator was, as usual, broken which forced them to use the stairs instead; given that Shizuo's apartment was on the third floor, it wasn't too bad of a trip.

Since Izaya was still feeling a little tired, he wound up dozing lightly in the blond's arms; lulled into that state by the regular sound of his breathing. He snuggled a little bit closer to Shizuo, he was warm and he felt a little chilled still. Luckily, he was feeling pretty numb – most of his injuries, the minor ones, were healed while a couple would still sting if he moved too much. Still, all of it was taking its toll on his body; he wished that he could simply go back to sleep.

Well, he'd have the next few days to rest. If he was up and about, then he'd be in a wheelchair; and he'd be in that wheelchair until his knee had healed and Shinra had deemed him recovered, then he'd be able to attempt walking.

He was startled out of his sleepy reverie when Shizuo gently shook him to wake him up as they exited the apartment and onto the street. It was pretty deserted, with only a couple other people walking past them. Celty had left her motorcycle parked near the sidewalk.

"You'll look after him till I get there?"

Celty nodded, gesturing with a swirl of her shadows around Izaya's head. He was a little surprised when a helmet formed, made of that same material.

What surprised him more was when she effortlessly took him into her arms, settling him on her motorcycle before climbing on in front of him. Izaya slid his arms around her waist, holding on tightly so that he wouldn't fall off; he really hoped that she wouldn't pull off any crazy stunts because he didn't have the strength to hold on for those.

"I'll see you soon." Shizuo's tone was tender and he gave the brunette a small, comforting smile before he slipped on his blue sunglasses.

.:-o-:. .:-o-:. .:-o-:.

So currently Fragilityis sitting at 37 239 words and it's not complete yet – holy shit where was this fic when I was working on NaNoWriMo? I so could've used it back then! But anyway, yeah, I know that it's going to end soon, I just have to finish writing it out and then posting it. There's still a ways to go, though, before that happens.

As always, your reviews are greatly appreciated and cherished. 3

Twilight.