Tenchi Muyo!: Witch World
Episode 2: The Exorcist
Sasami's Diary, first entry:
Mom thought it would be a good idea if I started to keep a diary, so she bought me this one. She says not many people live in a haunted house, and she says my memories of the things that happen while I'm still young will become valuable to me when I'm older.
It's been a week since the ghost of Ryoko warned us to leave, or she'll start to scare us out. If I had my way, we'd go back to our old house, but Mom and Dad say they aren't afraid of Ryoko. I wish I knew why Ryoko wants to be alone. Being alone is definitely no fun.
I've started going to my new school here. It's not so bad. I've made friends with one shy girl named Misao. I haven't told her yet about the ghost. Maybe after I get to know her a little better. If the other kids ever found out that I said we live with a ghost, they'll all think I'm a weirdo.
Sasami yawned, put down her pen and closed the book, locking it with a small key which she kept on a bracelet. She already had on her pajamas, so all she had left to do was turn out the lights and climb into bed.
"Good night, Ryoko."
Ryoko had been invisibly watching over Sasami's shoulder while the girl was writing, reading every word, but she never suspected that the girl was aware of that. Still, she had decided that Sasami didn't deserve any bloodcurdling screams in the middle of the night.
It was her parents who were the real troublemakers. So, she paid them a little visit by passing through the wall that separated their room from Sasami's
vvv.
Tenchi and Kiyone had already kissed each other goodnight in their own bed and turned out the lights. But Ryoko's vision was just as good in the dark.
She looked down upon Tenchi's smiling face on his pillow, peacefully slumbering as if he hadn't a care in the world. Strangely, she caught herself smiling, too.
Gotta admit, she thought, he sure is a cutie. If I still had a body...
Then she drifted over to Kiyone's side of the bed and looked down on her face.
Smirky slut. Tenchi and Sasami are just going along with you, aren't they? Well, if that's the case, all I have to do is focus on you, right? Once I get you to change your mind about staying here, they'll follow you wherever you decide to run. And I'll have my place back to myself, again!
Chuckling, Ryoko floated over to Kiyone's vanity table and helped herself to the cosmetics lying there.
The next morning, the radio alarm clock went off as it usually did with the local news. Kiyone got up, stretched, dragged herself over to her vanity, and plopped down on the seat. As her groggy eyes cleared their haze, she suddenly saw a horror movie clown staring back at her from the mirror!
"YEEAAAAGH!"
Tenchi bolted up in bed, turning in the direction his wife's startled cry came from...and saw a horror movie clown dressed in his wife's nightgown, seated at the vanity. This startled him into falling out of the bed with a yelp.
"Kiyone! What's the deal?" asked Tenchi from the floor, with one hand over his heart.
The clown answered in Kiyone's voice. "You think I did this?"
Ryoko's laughter filled the room.
Tenchi watched his wife slowly get up to head to the bathroom to clean up.
"And so it begins," was all she had to say on her way out.
Fortunately, the makeup did all come off, if not with soap and water, then with other solvents which Kiyone had back at the vanity. Satisfied with the cleanliness of her face, she went downstairs to help Tenchi and Sasami with getting breakfast fixed.
During breakfast, live bugs somehow kept turning up in Kiyone's food, but no one else's. Sasami, meanwhile, couldn't take her eyes off the bloody pork chop that was slowly inchworming its way up the nearby wall.
"She's h-e-e-e-e-re," said Sasami.
After sending her husband off to work with a kiss, Kiyone sent her daughter off to school with a kiss, too. The moment she closed the front door after them, a rotting corpse appeared, standing right beside her.
"Don't I get a kiss, too?" it asked with Ryoko's voice.
Kiyone just rolled her eyes, ignored it, and calmly went about clearing the dishes from the table.
Later, Kiyone sat down beside her computer, cracked her knuckles, and opened a word processing program. After a moment's thought, she began typing.
I Lived in a Haunted House
by Kiyone Masaki
She spent a couple of hours writing the first chapter, polishing it to perfection. She had almost forgotten about Ryoko, since the ghost hadn't done anything to her in a while.
Just as she was about to save the file, the screen went black. There was a sound, as if someone was whistling for a dog. Kiyone's attention turned to the source. And there was Ryoko, grinning by the wall, twirling the pulled cord around and around.
vvv
At the neighbor's house, Ayeka brought a fancy-looking tea set to the living room table.
"So, a few simple tricks, and she had you running over here in no time flat," Ayeka said as she poured some green tea into Kiyone's cup. "What are you going to do when she quits toying with you and starts getting serious?"
Kiyone, seated on the couch, gave her a startled look as she picked up her cup. "Has she ever seriously hurt anyone?"
Ayeka sat down beside her with a wry grin. "All the time, when she was alive. Or so the legends say. But in her present condition? I guess it depends on who you talk to. It's not hard to scare a person to death. And Ryoko has had nothing better to do for a long time than sharpen her sick sense of humor."
Ayeka poured herself some tea. "I recall a time when a previous lady of the house had just stepped in through the front door, when she heard a loud crash from behind. When she turned around, she saw her prized piano smashed to bits on the ground where she had just been standing only a second ago. Was Ryoko trying to kill her or merely frighten her? You tell me."
While Ayeka took a sip, Kiyone put two lumps of sugar into her own cup and stirred it.
"Did anyone else ever try to fight her back? Or did they all just give up and run?"
"My dear Kiyone, she is a ghost. How do you intend to fight someone who can float through walls, levitate objects, and make grown men wet their pants?"
"Well, ghosts can be exorcised, can't they?"
Ayeka smiled an evil grin. "Now you're talking. When I tried suggesting that to a few of your predecessors in that house, they accused me of trying to take advantage of their plight in order to drum up business for my father-in-law. Who just happens to be a priest who specializes in banishing spirits.
Maybe you heard of him? Katsuhito Jurai?"
Kiyone took a sip. Mmm, this was good tea. She wondered how many former neighbors Ayeka had entertained this way.
"His name does sound kind of familiar to me, come to think of it. Wasn't he the one who was called to that construction site in Tokyo? Where they had unearthed prehistoric poltergeists that were attacking the workers?"
"Yes, yes!" cried Ayeka excitedly. "That was him!"
Kiyone nodded. "I remember reading that story. They kicked his butt, didn't they?"
Ayeka frowned. "Well, of course, they did outnumber him, five to one. And he is not as young as he used to be. But that doesn't mean he may not still be just the answer to your problem."
Kiyone was dubious. "How do you think he'll stack up against Ryoko?"
"There's only one way to find out. Shall I give him a call?"
vvv
A car pulled up in front of Ayeka's house and halted. An elderly man bearing a slight resemblance to Nobuyuki stepped out, and was met by Ayeka and Kiyone.
"Thank you for coming on such short notice," bowed Ayeka.
"Not at all," said Katsuhito. "To tell you the truth, I've always wanted to take a crack at the Kobayashi ghost."
"So why haven't you, up till now?" asked Kiyone.
"Generally, I don't like to bother the dead until they become a problem. Up to now, most people living in that house preferred their own solution -- just move out. So as long as the spirit haunts an empty house, everybody's happy and nobody needs my services. And I don't do exorcisms pro bono, you know. A man's gotta eat."
"Ah," said Kiyone. "What do you charge for an exorcism?"
"Depends on the size of the job. There may be more than one spirit actually haunting the place. Or a spirit might be extra tough to budge. I really can't estimate my fee until I've actually had contact with the ghost in question."
"All right," agreed Kiyone. "Let's get to it, then."
vvv
"Hmm," Katsuhito rubbed his chin, as he stood inside the living room of the haunted house. "Yes. I can feel it. I definitely feel a presence here. It is evil. A soul filled with unfathomable rage against the living. A tormented soul, one who cannot find peace until a terrible injustice, which has gone on for far too long, has been righted. This is a spirit in pain, in anguish."
Then the voice of Ryoko reverberated throughout the room in response, as Ayeka gasped and Kiyone stood stone-faced.
"Brother, are you laying it on thick! And who the heck areyou, anyway?"
"I am Katsuhito Jurai, and I have been asked to come here today to bring you peace."
"An exorcist, huh? This oughta be good for some laughs. Well, go ahead, I could use a little exorcise."
Katsuhito turned toward his daughter-in-law. "Ayeka, would you be so kind as to go to my car and bring me my sacred branch? It should be in the back seat."
"Right away," said Ayeka, bowing slightly, then dashing out the door.
When she returned with the branch, Katsuhito thanked her and held it high with both of his hands. Next, he closed his eyes and began to chant, while shaking the sacred branch alternately to the left, then to right.
This went on for about a minute. Ryoko materialized before him with an amused expression on her face.
"In the mood to dance, I see," she said. "Oddly enough, so am I!"
She snapped her fingers, and tango music filled the room. Looking him squarely in the eyes, she plucked the sacred branch from his hands and placed it between her teeth. Then she seized him in her arms and made him her unwilling dance partner.
While he moaned with a startled look on his face, Ryoko marched him up and down the room, occasionally dipping him almost down to floor. Ayeka and Kiyone could only watch in horror as the front door suddenly flew open, and Ryoko danced Katsuhito out through it into the front yard, where she tucked the sacred branch into his trousers, spun him around like a top, and finished by booting him into the air. He landed in an unconscious heap on the lawn, as the music came to a halt.
Ayeka and Kiyone rushed over to see if he was all right. Ryoko merely bowed to them and disappeared.
"This one's really gonna cost ya," he told Kiyone. Then he was out cold again.
vvv
"If a simple exorcism doesn't take, then it's time to bring out the big guns," explained Katsuhito back inside Ayeka's living room, where the trio were having some more green tea, while they planned their next strategy. "This will banish Ryoko for sure."
Katsuhito held up a piece of paper with complicated-looking kanji written on it. "We will need to hold a seance in your house in order to entice her to possess one of you. Then all I need to do is slap this on the victim's head, and poof! She won't know what hit her."
"Hold on!" protested Kiyone. "You want one of us to just sit there and allow Ryoko to take us over? That's insane! What if she doesn't leave? A piece of paper is a flimsy thing to gamble your life on, don'tcha think?"
"There really is nothing to worry about," said Katsuhito. "This paper will blast Ryoko back to the spirit world, or I'll eat my hat."
"You don't wear hats," muttered Ayeka, looking at him with narrowed eyes.
"That's only because I don't have any left," admitted Katsuhito. "I may not be the best exorcist you'll ever meet, but I am a man of honor. If I say I'll do something, I'll do it. God, I hate the taste of hats..."
The ladies gave him a stare so cold, his own body temperature dropped five degrees.
"Just kidding!" he grinned, waving his hands.
vvv
It was midnight.
Sasami should have been in bed fast asleep, but she couldn't resist spying on what the grown-ups were doing downstairs. So she watched them from the darkness of the second floor.
They were seated around the living room table, which was illuminated by a single candle burning in the center of it. All the other lights were out. Sasami could see the faces of her mom and dad, Mr. and Mrs. Jurai, and an older man she had neverseen before. They all had their palms down on the table, fingers spread out, with thumbs touching, and pinky fingers touching the pinkies of the person seated next to them.
It was the older man who was speaking, and in a spooky voice, too.
"We are gathered in this house to call the spirit who is haunting it. We seek none other than the spirit of Ryoko Kobayashi. Come to us, Ryoko. You may choose one of us to speak through. We wish to talk to you."
The sound of distant thunder rumbled. The wind began to kick up outside.
Sasami could see Ryoko standing behind the old man, looking at all of them as if they were a bunch of idiots.
They know as well as I do that if they want to talk to me, all they have to do is just talk, thought Ryoko. What's with all this occult mumbo-jumbo?
"Come to us, Ryoko. Choose any one of us to be your vessel, so that we may converse with you."
Choose a vessel, eh? Ryoko chuckled evilly to herself. You know, that's not a bad idea. I forgot that ghosts can do that. And it has been a very long time since I last had a vessel.
Ryoko floated around the table, examining the possible choices. Hmm. Only two female bodies; the nosey nag or the smirky slut. Shame there's no third option. Okay, here I go...
Ryoko slid into the body of her choice.
Ayeka began to moan softly and slowly move her head from side to side. Katsuhito focused his attention on her.
"Ryoko, is that you?"
"Ye-e-es," spoke Ayeka with an eerie softness. "I am Ryoko Kobayashi. Why have you summoned me from beyond the grave?"
Katsuhito seized the moment. He whipped out the paper and leaped over the table with a battle cry. Unfortunately, just as quickly, Ayeka blew out the candle, leaving everyone in pitch darkness.
For a few moments, confusion reigned. There was the sound of furniture overturning and a jumble of voices saying all kinds of things.
"Ow! You're standing on my foot!"
"Sorry!"
"I can't see a thing!"
"Somebody turn on the lights!"
"Where's the switch?"
And so on. By the time Tenchi found the switch and turned it on, the room was in obvious chaos.
Katsuhito looked at his bare hands, then looked down. Kiyone was lying on the floor, semiconscious, with a twitchy, goofy look on her face. And Katsuhito's paper was stuck to her forehead.
Ayeka stood nearby, head bowed down, with her hand to her temple.
"Ayeka, you okay?" asked Nobuyuki, moving to take her in his arms.
"Yes," she replied, pushing him away. "It's only a slight headache."
Tenchi tore the paper from his own wife's head and helped her up. "Kiyone! Speak to me!"
"Well, that certainly went well," she said sarcastically, when she found her voice.
"Yes," mused Katsuhito, "it does appear that Ryoko has indeed been one step ahead of me the whole time. Now, I'm afraid your situation has gone from bad to worse."
"What does that mean?" demanded Kiyone.
Ayeka yanked Tenchi away from her, embracing him in a tight hug.
"Whatta ya say we ditch these losers we're married to, and start a new life somewhere else, hmm, cutie pie?" she said into his ear.
Everyone's astonished looks turned from Ayeka back to Katsuhito.
"That's what it means," he answered.
TO BE CONTINUED