Tenchi Muyo!: Witch World
Episode 6: Body and Soul
Kiyone was only too happy to fix a stack of pancakes for Washu after the close call her family had just had.
As Washu poured syrup on them, she said, "I'll bet you're all wondering about the full story behind how Ryoko's spirit got stuck here for so long. Especially you, eh, Ryoko?"
Ryoko materialized among them, giving her mother the sourest look her ghostly face could present. "Gee. Whatever gave you that idea?"
"The whole thing is your own darn fault, you know," said Washu, putting the syrup bottle back down on the table and grabbing her fork. "Most of us witches have enough common sense not to go stirring up the mortals against us. We've got plenty of better things to do with our time, you see. But you wouldn't listen to your older and wiser mother, would you?"
"So what's wrong with wanting to have a little fun?" insisted Ryoko. "You taught me all those spells and just expected me to use them to benefit a bunch of greedy, unappreciative short-lifes?"
"No offense," she said to the humans in the room.
Tenchi laughed nervously, waving the comment off.
"But we are not their personal genies, you know," Ryoko continued. "You may have been content to cure their illnesses, and fix all their problems, but look at what it got you. More illnesses and problems. They just kept coming back to you and expecting you to help them. Most of them didn't even concern themselves with paying you back in any way. Well, excuse me for realizing that I was more powerful than them -- and I didn't have to stand for being their doormat."
Ryoko began angrily pacing back and forth. "I mean, the nerve that humans have is unbelievable! You try to be nice to them, and it's never enough! And when you finally do draw the line, and say that's it, no more, they have the audacity to get pissed at you! Now I ask you, how smart is it to get pissed at somebody who has done you more favors than you care to admit, AND has the power to curse you or even kill you?"
Washu swallowed another mouthful of pancake while waiting for Ryoko to finish ranting.
"So with that as your justification," said Washu, "you decided to go on your little rampage, hmm? Did it ever occur to you that there are good and bad people in every race? Including ours? I gotta tell ya, Ryoko, what you did didn't exactly reflect too well on the rest of us. Witchly public relations for this area went into the toilet for centuries, thanks in large part to you. And when the humans hanged you, their popularity with us hit an all time low, too. Amazing how much damage one immature witch can bring to the whole community."
"And you let them hang me!" Ryoko pointed an accusing finger at Washu. "My own powers were neutralized, and you knew it. I couldn't save myself. Do you have any idea what it's like to helplessly suffocate with a broken neck?"
"It gave me nightmares for decades, Ryoko," said Washu, quietly. "No mother wants to see anything like that for her own child. But I was forbidden to interfere. The humans needed to see you die for your crimes. And so they did. At the time, the best I could manage to do in order not to lose you forever was to curse your spirit to haunt this house. It wasn't an easy decision, believe me, but it was the only thing I could think of to do until I could come up with something better."
"I might've known that you'd be behind that, too," growled Ryoko. "If you're excuse for doing that to me is because you cared, then you're full of it. I only wish I could force you to haunt a house for a few centuries, just to see how you'd like it. In all that time, you never once bothered to even pay me a visit."
"You needed some alone time," shrugged Washu. "I figured with no one else distracting you, except for the occasional family trying to move in here, now and then, you'd have plenty of time to think about the things you've done, and -- maybe -- adjust that rash attitude of yours. Instead, what do I find? You're making deals with demons without even thinking through the consequences of your actions. I didn't save your soul back then only for you to just throw it away over something stupid like that."
Ryoko blinked. "So what did you save my soul for?"
Washu finished her pancakes and dabbed the corners of her mouth. "Delicious, Kiyone! Thanks!"
"My pleasure," smiled Kiyone.
Washu rose from the table to address Ryoko. "Your mother's been sharpening her witchly skills in the time that she's been away! What would you say if I told you that I could get you your old body back?"
"I'd say you were hitting the ol' witch's brew, again," grumbled Ryoko. "Even we don't have the ability to bring back the dead. At least not in the same form they were in before they died."
"In your case, that's immaterial. I don't have to bring you back since you are already here. Body AND soul."
Washu snapped her fingers and a secret panel opened up inside one of the closets upstairs. A small urn floated out of it, which proceeded to float out of the room, down the hall, and then down the stairs to land on Washu's waiting palm.
"These are your ashes, Ryoko," she explained. "I hid them here a long time ago to keep your spirit from wandering off before I could return."
"That's what's left of my body?" asked Ryoko. "So what good is that going to do me?"
"I've perfected a new spell I call 'Time Reversal'," said Washu. "I've successfully applied it to small specific objects, to push them outside the normal flow of our time stream into another time stream that happens to be flowing in the opposite direction. The result is instant reverse aging, at double the speed of normal time. If I apply it to your ashes, they should start un-cremating in a few decades..."
Ryoko slammed her ghostly fist on Washu's head. "So you're saying I have to wait around for about half the time since I've been a ghost before my body even starts to reform?"
Washu rubbed her head where Ryoko hit it. "Oww! You didn't gimme a chance to finish what I was saying! I was gonna add that I could then apply a rapid aging spell on top of that to speed up the process. It's worked before. So, whadda ya say, Ryoko? Want me to give it a whirl?"
Ryoko didn't even need to think about it. "Sure, why not? What've I got to lose? My urn?"
"That's the spirit. Okay...let's begin!"
Washu closed her eyes and allowed the urn to hover to the center of the room. She made some grandiose gestures with her arms, while uttering some magic words. The urn began to glow. Then it burst into a million fragments, all falling to the floor. But the dust inside still hung in the air. It began to swirl and sparkle.
A wind came blowing in from the open front door, carrying with it the tiny bits of Ryoko's body that had been scattered all over the earth a long time ago. These bits joined the swirling, sparkling mass, as it started to form a skeleton, then internal organs, then, finally, the external layers of skin.
Kiyone noticed that Tenchi's nose was bleeding from the sight of Ryoko's nude body, so she covered his eyes.
Clothing started to form around the body. When it did, the transformation seemed complete. Except for...
"Why is her head all flopped over, and her tongue sticking out?" asked Sasami.
"Her neck's broken," explained Washu. "She was hanged before being cremated, you know."
"You expect me to move into that and spend the rest of my life walking around that way?" yelled Ryoko. "Fix it!"
"Hey, I'm a witch, not a doctor."
"Take it back a little more in time!" demanded Ryoko.
"All right, all right, don't get your ectoplasm in a bunch, I was only kidding. Here we go!"
Washu made a few more magical gestures. Within moments, the neck straightened out and the tongue retracted. The eyes still had a blank, unblinking look to them, though.
Everyone watched silently as Ryoko's spirit moved slowly around the body, looking at it like she could not believe it was really there. Actually, she looked like she was about to cry.
"Something wrong, Ryoko?" asked Washu, gently. "Everything's there, isn't it?"
"Don't be silly, of course it is," said Ryoko. "I just never dreamed that anything like this would ever happen."
Everyone could see how happy Washu was, too, to be able to give a gift like this to her daughter. She also looked to be on the verge of tears.
"You've been a ghost for a long time," said Washu. "So I guess I should warn you. Once you rebond with your body, it becomes permanent. There'll be no slipping out to do ghostly things anymore. Are you prepared for that?"
"Well, I gotta admit," said Ryoko, "there are a lot of fun things about being a ghost. But you give up a lot of things when you don't have a real body anymore, too. Things I've missed not having for a long time. And how many of us get a second crack at life? For me, this is a no-brainer."
Ryoko's spirit easily slipped into her body. Her eyes blinked a few times. There was now a light in them that hadn't been there a moment ago.
"Woo-hoo!" she suddenly cried, jamming both fists into the air.
The newly re-integrated Ryoko took hold of Washu's shoulders. "Mother! Tell me, what method did you use to arrive here?"
"My broom, of course. I gave up on cars when the price of gas went ridiculous."
"Where'd ya leave it?"
"Leaning against the house next door. Why?"
Ryoko kissed her on the forehead and dashed out the front door.
vvv
Ayeka was sweeping the walk outside her front door, when the sight of Ryoko running up to her caused her to freeze in absolute surprise.
"Gimme that," said Ryoko, snatching the broom from her.
Ayeka watched Ryoko hop onto the broom, then take off into the wild blue yonder on it. When her paralysis passed, she blinked a few times, then she felt her own forehead for signs of a temperature.
The orange juice must've gone bad, she thought, going back inside to dump the rest of it out.
vvv
"I wonder where she thinks she's off to?" said Washu, looking up, with her arms akimbo on the Masaki lawn, watching her daughter become just a small speck in the sky until even that disappeared. Shrugging, she headed back inside the house.
Inside, Kiyone was vacuuming up the remains of the urn. Tenchi, Sasami, and Ryo-Ohki were having a pleasant conversation. Mihoshi was washing the dishes in the kitchen.
"So," said Tenchi. "Have your memories returned yet?"
"Not really," sighed Ryo-Ohki. "The only thing I really know about myself is that I love tuna fish and absolutely detest carrots."
"Ohkis are a well-known species to witches," said Washu, coming back in from the yard. "Some swear they make better familiars than black cats because of their shape-shifting powers."
"I've got powers?" asked Ryo-Ohki.
"Well, just that one. And the power of speech, of course. But how many more do you really need, when you can assume the form of anything you can imagine? That's pretty darn useful, if you ask me," said Washu.
Ryo-Ohki became excited. "Oh, I've got to try it! Let's see...okay. I've got the image in my mind, now. Here's goes nothing!"
The little critter began to grow, her fur turning into scales, her claws becoming giant talons. Whatever she was turning into, it was clearly something large and reptilian.
"Yikes!" cried Tenchi, grabbing his equally astonished wife and daughter and heading out the front door. They were quickly followed by Mihoshi and Washu. Soon, the creature filled the living room with its bulk.
"I thought you said there was no evil left in that thing!" Kiyone yelled at Washu out in the yard.
"There isn't," replied Washu. "Dinosaurs aren't evil, per se, they just do their thing in order to survive, just like any of us."
"So, is the one in my house a carnivore or an herbivore?" asked Tenchi.
"Omnivore, I'd say," answered Washu, taking a peak inside. "It just swallowed your couch whole."
"What?" cried Kiyone.
"It's nothing to get excited over," said Washu, still observing the creature. "If it's what I think it is, it has a pretty unique digestive system. It should be taking a dump any second now..."
With her eyes bulging out, Kiyone grabbed Tenchi by the shoulders, shaking him. "A dinosaur is about to take a dump on my floor, Tenchi! Do something!"
"Uh," said Tenchi, looking totally bewildered.
"Too late!" cried Washu. "The nasty deed has been done. By the way, we can go back in, now. Ryo-Ohki is back to her real form."
Everyone followed Washu back into the living room, where they indeed found Ryo-Ohki back in her original shape. But the item of furniture in question looked a little sticky.
"That was fun!" said Ryo-Ohki, rolling around gleefully on the floor.
Kiyone reached out and carefully touched some of the goo. "It doesn't look too bad. I think it can still be used as a couch -- with a little cleaning and disinfecting. Something about it seems a little different, though, but I can't quite put my finger on what that is, exactly."
"Don't bother," said Washu. "That stuff'll evaporate on its own. And it's not a couch, anymore. It's a sofa. That's a thesaurus for you. When they process something, it ends up being different in name only. Comes as no surprise they all died out, really. No nutritional value in words, you see?"
Mihoshi, unnoticed by everyone else during all this time, was continuously scribbling her eyewitness account on page after page in her handy notebook.
TO BE CONTINUED