It was going to be a long damn week. I was doing a combination of hoping every little twinge I felt in my back was the onset of cramps, to about killing myself every time my cell phone rang. The Captain was no help with his raised eyebrow 'Well?" looks every single morning that I had to answer with a subtle shake of the head, and to make things worse, I had gotten a call from the young rock star,( that I had missed due to being in a meeting), and he had left me a message saying that he had been offered a chance to audition for a role in some big movie over in England, so he had left the country and didn't know when he would be back. In a way it was better because he was out of sight, out of mind, but I kinda missed the boy. I had retrieved his t-shirt from under the couch and I had stashed it in my bedroom, and on occasion, I have to admit, I may or may not have taken a deep whiff of it to remind my self that I had hit that tight little package. By Friday was in a blue funk. Not only had my doctors office not called and I was ready to go down there and rip peoples heads off, but my monthly visitor was showing no signs of putting in an appearance. I was sitting in my office working on some reports and cursing the inefficiency of the filing system that we had, when my cell went off .

I didn't know the Captain was in his office, but when I saw the number was my doctors, I called out, "Cowboy?" and I heard him get up quickly and head over, shutting my door behind him as he came in. I answered my phone and waited. My doctor asked me if I was sitting down and I was glad I was, and I guess I went pale as a ghost because next thing I knew, the Captain was knelt down next to me rubbing my shoulders and reassuring me that everything was going to be fine as my doctor gave me the lab results that had come back,(some would take awhile), so far no diseases, but…and this was a huge assed but, I was indeed pregnant at the age of 41.

The phone just kinda slipped though my fingers and the Captain caught it and finished the conversation for me, including scheduling my next appointment. He hung up the phone and then turned my chair so I was facing him and he pulled me into a hug and held me as I had my freakout. He was all kinds of reassuring and kind and he patted my back as he told me that I had a hell of a way of having a mid-life crisis. He was surprised I was able to get the test results back so soon, but I told him that they had tests that could have told by the next day, though they aren't 100% accurate, so I had just decided to go with the most accurate on and wait, but now the young rock star was gone and I was alone. He lifted my chin up and looked in my eyes, "You aren't alone at all. You have us, and you have your daughter who you are going to have to tell, as well as an entire department that loves you. I bet when you tell him, you will have him too, he seems like a good sort, you just need to give him a chance." I shook my head, he's off in Europe, auditioning for the role of a lifetime and if he gets it, he is going to be over there for almost a year, and then he will be doing all kinds of promotion and his music. Now is his time to shine so I am not going to say a word because I don't want to take that away from him." The Captain looked at me gravely and said, "You at least need to let him know sometime." I thought about it and said, " Well, at my age, everything is high risk and it may not even go to term, but if it does and all is well, I will let him know. Does that sound fair? That way he doesn't have to stress and worry himself that may not even turn into anything." He looked at me for a minute and then finally agreed, "But you are going to have to make some damn changes like right now! And with that he opened my desk and confiscated my smokes and lighter. I was going to be hard to live with for the next 9 months, so it was probably a good thing that the young rock star had fled the country.

The next few weeks shot past and I didn't hear anything else from the young rock star, but he was all over the websites that I tended to check to see what he was up to. He had gotten the role and it appeared things were really looking up for him. Photos of him showed him smiling and looking fit and happy, and I was glad to see someone was doing great because I was stressed out and exhausted all the damn time. I had decided to wait until I was actually getting close to showing before saying anything to daughter. She had made it through finals and was getting ready to leave on vacation with her friends family to spend the bulk of the summer in Hawaii,(they were well off and daughter went along as entertainment and as a companion for their daughter), so I was going to be alone for a few months to get through the worst of any morning sickness or laziness. The Captain and his friend were over often, in fact weekends at my house had become a regular thing that I looked forward too. The guys were good company for me and daughter and even though she crushed on the Captains friend really hard, she never was overbearing, though she constantly seemed to be trying to nudge me and the Captain together. I kinda found it amusing that daughter really didn't have a clue that the Captain and his friend were a special kind of "Friends", but I decided to leave it alone.

After she left for her trip, things seem to speed up for me and my body, and the next thing I knew I had the worst case of morning sickness to ever strike a human being. I swear I vomited everything including my toenails, multiple times. I cursed him, my luck, myself, men in general, fate, and anybody else I could think of when I wasn't busy vomiting, and I wasn't too shocked to find at my 4th month appointment, that I had actually lost a few pounds, but what I was shocked was at the Captains reaction. He had been accompanying me to my appointments, as well as doing his overbearing sniff test on me multiple times a day, making sure I wasn't smoking, even though I swore I had quit and wasn't even tempted,(that was true, the smell even made me sick), I had cold turkeyed and stuck with it because it wasn't my life on the line a this point. When he heard that I had lost weight, he started interrogating my doctor about ways to help me gain weight and if anything could impact the health of the baby, and about fifty other questions that had the doctor sitting there looking at him like he was up for father of the year. " You ought to marry this one." she told me, causing him to blush and me to laugh out loud. "Neither one of us is the marrying type, so I think I will have to just leave him at Uncle status for now." She shook her head and said, "Pity, but anyway, so lets go get and ultrasound and take a look at the little cause of all your troubles." We walked over into the freezing cold ultrasound room and waited for the tech to show up. The Captain was texting and trying to look like he wasn't just a little freaked out, and then he abruptly looked at me and asked, " Can J.D. come back and watch?" I didn't even know his friend was at the office and considering I loved him as much as I loved the Captain, I said "Well duh! Go get him, hurry before he misses it!." He bolted from the room, his long legs eating up the hallway and I was able to see expectant moms and nurses both turning to watch his ass as he shot past them, and I had to giggle to myself, "Yeah, suck it bitches he bats for the home team, and if he didn't , he would be mine."

They both came back into the room really tentatively, as if they were afraid that I would be splayed out like some porn queen, but once they saw the tech still wasn't in, the Captain reached down and squeezed my hand and J.D. smiled and patted my shoulder. "I think its pretty damn cool you letting me come see this, I have never seen anything like this, never expected to be a part of any kids life." I smiled at them both, and said words that I never expected would make grown assed men cry.

"You better expect to be part of this kids life because if you will consider it, I would like to not only have you both as Godfathers and Uncles, but as Guardians in case anything happened to me, and uhh, I hope you don't mind me asking, but since my family cant and wont get up here for the birth, would ya'll be my birth coaches?"

Whoa! They both lived up the gay stereotype at that point because they started bawling like a couple of big ole babies and hugging on me and each other. I smacked them off of me and told them to get it together and be prepared because that had all kinda crap along with it like it meant that they were going to have to help me break the news to daughter and clean out my office so it can be converted into a nursery, as well as help come up with names and stuff. The tech finally came in as they were getting a hold of themselves and planning the destruction of my office, and she started asking all the information to enter into the computer. I was able to give her the exact date of conception and all that kind of information, but when she asked fathers name I replied, " Undetermined." She turned around and looked at me and Mutt and Jeff standing next to me, and they looked at the ceiling and the floor and anyplace but her, and she just shrugged and left the line blank, after all, in Portland I was sure she had heard and seen stranger things. She got right down to business and had me lay back and pull my shirt up as she pulled my jeans open and down and squirted the goopy ice on my belly that about made she shoot up to the top of the little bed. She put the sensor on my gut and started pressing down so hard I thought I was going to pee on myself! And the sounds of my guts filled the room and apparently I was hungry.

She hunted around for a few minutes and finally found where she was headed and located my girly bits, and where the source of all the trouble was. The sound of something that was a quick as a hummingbird filled the room and both guys just froze like a couple of dogs hearing the worlds strangest sound as the tech said, ' The baby has a nice steady heart beat with a good speed and if you look here you will see its head and spine and of course the legs." She was rapidly typing in all kinds of measurements and capturing images and even printing off copies of some of the better ones. It was too early to see what it was, but I had an amnio scheduled the next week to make sure there weren't any health issues we needed to prepare for, so we would find out then if it was a boy or a girl, this ultra sound was to make sure I was just having one and that all the bits and pieces were there, and from what I could see, it appeared all was well. The guys were staring at the screen and holding onto my hand and each other like they were going to fall apart and I knew my baby had all the love and support it was going to need, no matter what became of its biological father.

He hadn't made any effort to get in contact with me and really I didn't expect him to. He was busy filming what was reported to be his 'Break out" role, and he had been seen on the arm of a very beautiful and "A" list starlet, and I just figured he had moved on with his life. His band was even doing well and was recording a new album and doing shows around Europe when he was off from filming, so just as I had expected, he was doing great and moving up in the world, he didn't need and anchor to hold him down.

Daughter was starting to suspect something was up. She had called to let me know she was returning from Hawaii, and she commented that I seemed really "Vague" and "Out of it" compared to how I normally was. I knew I needed to have a plan in place as well as a decision on what I was going to tell her about the situation. I called a meeting of the minds between myself, the Captain and J.D. the weekend before I had to go to PDX to pick her up.

" So, I am looking for input here, what am I going to tell my daughter about this situation, because I am telling you right now, she is going to freak the hell out when she gets home and finds the office emptied out, and me with a bun in the oven.' The Captain and J.D. both looked pensive, and I said, " I looked into the laws and I have the option of leaving the fathers name totally off the birth certificate. I never have to name him since I haven't named him yet and I am not getting any public assistance, I don't have to tell her who the father is, and since he has moved on to the flavor of the week in Hollywood that looks good on his arm, I seriously doubt he is going to want to be involved." The Captain shook his head, "I still think you at least should let him know, give him the chance to do right by this child, and if he doesn't respond then, well, then you leave him off." Well how would you suggest I notify him?" "Don't you have his contact numbers? Send him a text or call him and tell him, but at least notify him and then if he doesn't follow up, then leave it blank or put one of us." Whooa! Did he just say put one of them? Were they volunteering to be the father to my son if young Rock Star wouldn't? I was floored and I found myself going all girly for a moment with tears forming in my eyes. Damn the hormones that turned me all soft and gushy, I was never going to live it down. 'All right, Ill do it, in fact, Ill do it now. Hand me my phone and watch , you are my witnesses." I took my phone and pulled up his cell and I typed in the message, " Encounter in PDX had lasting ,due 12/20 call me if interested.B" I showed the message the Captain and JD and I hit send. We sat there a few minutes looking at the phone, half expecting it to ring with him freaking out at the other end, but nothing but silence echoed in the room for the longest time. "So what do we tell daughter?" J.D. actually surprised me with his suggestion, he had actually always seemed like the more straight laced and prudish of the two, but he looked at he floor and suggested, " You could tell her that we came here one night after a really bad incident and we were all drinking too much and confused and we woke up in the morning with all of us naked in bed together and the next thing you know…" he was red as an apple by the time he got done talking and I just looked at him in surprise. "The Captain was staring at him like he had lost his mind , but he nodded, "That is really , really a good, bad example of the trouble alcohol can get you into and she would be really upset with all of us, so we could spread the anger around and all be in the doghouse together." I was just stunned. 'So if he doesn't call back by the time I go pick her up, you all are going to claim that either one of you could be the father and we are just going to raise the baby together?" They both nodded at me, "Wow, I don't know what to say." "Say you'll do it and we all hang together and raise this child the best we can." I stood up and walked over and hugged them both as my cell phone began to ring.