FLAMERZ BAK OFF OK. mi engish is fine (Yeah, can't you tell?) u dnt hav to b a bytch about it u fukkin homos (Just to be clear, that's not an insult. Here's the real meaning: Homo-noun-1. the genus of bipedal primates that includes modern humans and several extinct forms, distinguished by their large brains and a dependence upon tools. Compare archaic Homo. 2. a. a member of the genus Homo. b. the species Homo sapiens or one of its members.) if u lik bella i sed not 2 red cuz u wuld be offenced. i red dis book a lot of tims i fink i no der names.
and wateva u say, DUNT DISS TARA GELSBIE. OK. SHE IS A FUKKING GRATE RITER (Of course she is! Who else could have single handedly written the world's worst Harry Potter fan fiction AND started a string of horrible fan fictions AND ruined the idea that fan fictions can be good. (these are just my humble opinions by the way)
OK HERE IS CHAPTA 2. (OHMISATAN! IM SO EXCITEFACE *pees pants from excitement*)
XXXXXXXXXXXXX CHAPTER 2 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Wen i walkd in2 da house edward disapered and den appered at da piano (hez a vamprie he kan do that.) (Teleport you mean?) he storted 2 play Famous Last werds by mi chemical romans (Mi. Chemical. Romans. What.). i started 2 sing in my beatifull voice (*le gasp* It's the voice of Satan's angels!) "Wel i kno that i kan make u stay, wel den were iz ur heart? were iz ur heart?" every1 gasped, even tho they were vampirs they didnt hav voices lyk me. OUT of nowere they all jumped up nd tried to tak off my cloths. (OH NOES!)
"WOT R U DOING?" i creamed (Didn't I ask you not to do that? It's very impolite! So I know not to invite to my house… As if I'd let you in in the first place.). deir eyes were red n they had all turned in2 savagez. den they stoppd and confused.
"Sorry Twila." edward sed. "sometimes wen we c some1 we kant resist we turn in2 beasts. it wnt hapen agen" puting bak on mi clothe. (When I was asking my best friend for an idea of something good to say, she said a couple of things: "aww gawd isn't it bad enough I already read that trainwreck of an English sentence once? xDDD" and "I can't even comprehend how someone could make freaking Cheddward Cullen even more of a Gary Stu than he already is, but then I read that sentence & my mind is completely blown." And also, isn't the "beast mentality" thing saved for werewolves? (My best friend said something pretty similar to that too))
"Itz ok a lot of ppl r attracted to me" i excplaned. they all understod. (They "understod" that you're a whore-ish Sue? Don't you think they should have figured that out at the beginning?)
"it must be ur blood" sed carlose in horrofied. "Beauty, u hav the most rare n exotic blood in all da world, evry vampir wil want to drink it. itz much betta den that other gurls, wats her name?" (Wait, isn't Twila a vampire too? I mean, vampires can drink vampire blood if my memory serves me correctly, it's just ill-advised.)
"Dat bytches nam is bella" sed jasper growling ("suddenly becoming a 'ghetto person'"). Midnite (omgwfbbq. Where the hell did Midnite come from?) hugged him so he wuldnt get 2 angry n apper in bellas house n strangle her wif 1 tuch of his finger cuz hes realli strong lyk da hulk. (Which reminds me of "Half Life: Full Life Consequences" and the line "Henry Freeman and the people walked fast like waves to the Combine Tower that was big like the sky.")
"twila, i wnat u 2 marri me" sudenly screemed alise hu was a plebian. (Plebian-Member of the general citizenry. Which also goes pretty well with "Mi Chemical Romans") edward rowred at her, furius n all protective n sudenly... he htransformed! (Shit son!)
"OMFG NOOOO" i shouted ("OMFS(geddit? Satan coz im gof- I'm done.) YEEEESS!" Jayme roared as she creeped up on the scene.) cuz i dint want ne1 2 get hurt. eds shirt bursted opened wif mussels. (His mussels busted open with shirt? Is he hungry for sea food?) his topazz eyez turnd pure blak with strengt n energy n he jumped at alice
"TWOLA IS MARRING ME ALREADI" (look bro, you can have her. No one else in "Was-ching-ton" would. Trust me.) he sed wif his voice was booming n all da windows exploded n da glass rained down lik (let me guess, something related to a music vid-) in dat avril laven video wer she punches da miror n da glass all flyes out around her ("OOOOH~ That's a bingo! :D" (forever love, Hans Lander3)). He storted 2 fite with alice to da death over me. (Fuck the what?)
"Guyz guys" i suddenly compromized "Guess wat srry im not a lebian." alice started 2 cry tearz of blood. "Y r her tears blood" i asked all curios (Because according to real writers, vampires cry blood (which, there are a lot of writers who say that, but I'm not one of them)
"Oh no this is bad" said emet hu had been in da bathrom da hole time. (Oh? What was he doing? Wait. I don't want the answer to that question.) "wen we cry our tearz r blood n its da blood of our victims, shez losin blood n now she wil be thirsy agen. RUN" (That is the most idiotic thing I've ever read, and trust me, I read some pretty idiotic things.)
Alic tryed 2 jump at me and tare my flesh (she tried to "any various weedy plants of the genus Vicia" your flesh?) but i movd out of da way n she attakd rosemarie instead hu was prety but she waznt as prety as me (Of course not, you're a conceded whore used for self-fulfillment3) n her throat flew open. n blood poured out everywere n alice ate it. (ALICE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, use a napkin.)
"Ohh mi satan" i said heartbrokn becuz i causd so much truble. edward jus laughed "its ok babe" he said nd kissed me for da 1st time! (He had turned back from blak ed to white ed (a/n HEZ LIK HOTSANHARU FROM FRUITY BASKET) (Umm. No such manga or character exists. Hatsuharu and Fruits Basket do.) n he was calm agen.) "Shez a vampir, shell just cum bak 2 life."
so they sedeted alison n she fel asleep n rose came bak 2 lyf. we had berger king (Wait. Don't the Twilight vampires NOT eat people food?) 4 diner bcuz i had 2 hurry. n then i went home thinsking of edword the hole time and how his flami hot lips felt on my (But he's dead. He's cold.). his body waz so warm (*beats head against my desk repeatedly*) n i culdnt wate to c him agen.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX END OF CHAPTA (*head shoots up* FINALLY!)