A/N: Today sees our favorite NCIS team reacting to the news that Callen and Kensi are in a relationship. I loved writing this (wink).
Thanks to DizzyDrea, SP SVU B, terken, Rebel Magnus, evershort, and ChlollieRockz for reviewing!
Chapter 6: Two Days Earlier
Deeks sat at his desk, still pondering over the astonishing announcement Nate had made last night. His first reaction was that the psychologist was off his rocker – completely, thoroughly, way off – but in hindsight, it made some kind of sense. After all, this would explain how close they'd been, and why they'd been so cool to each other for the past few months…
He still couldn't believe it, though.
"Hey, Sam," he called. "Do you believe Nate about Callen and Kensi?"
The burly agent looked up. After the initial shock, he'd gone quiet, trying to sort through the muddle Nate's conclusion had made of his thoughts.
"He could be," he admitted.
"How did we miss it?" Deeks wondered.
Sam shrugged. "Callen and Kensi are good at what they do. I'm not surprised they managed to hide it." Then he frowned. "I am surprised they actually embarked on a relationship in the first place, though."
"I know, right?" Deeks agreed. "I mean, they're like the two most emotionally screwed up people I know…" He paused. "Hey, do you think Hetty knew about it?"
Both agents turned their heads in the direction of Hetty's office; there was no one there.
"It's unlikely, right?" Deeks asked, lowering his voice to a whisper.
"Maybe," Sam conceded. "But this is Hetty we're talking about."
Again, both men furtively twisted to check if Hetty was at her desk.
"Right," Deeks agreed. "So you're saying she knew?"
"I most certainly did, Mr. Deeks."
Hetty's voice caused both men to startle. Deeks evicted an exclamation when he saw that she was standing directly behind him and pushed his chair backwards.
"Whoa!" he exclaimed. When he had recovered his breath, he asked, "How do you do that?"
Hetty gave him a knowing smile. "Practice," she told him.
Sam, however, was more interested in what Hetty knew about Callen and Kensi's relationship.
"Hetty, you knew about Callen and Kensi?"
"I did," Hetty confirmed.
"How long have they been…?"
"Oh, let's see…" Hetty thought for a few seconds. "Four and a half months, that I'm aware of – but I'm quite certain they started before that. If I had to hazard a guess, I'd say they've been more than friends for well over six months now."
"Six months…?" Sam repeated in disbelief. He hadn't expected that even Callen and Kensi had managed to keep their secret for so long.
"Do you know what happened between them?" Deeks questioned keenly.
"I have my own conclusions, but it is not my place to say whether they are correct or not."
"But, Hetty –" Sam began.
"But nothing," she said firmly. "This is a matter between Mr. Callen and Miss Blye, and it is for them and them alone to sort out. It is none of our business what happened between them or where they are going from here." She paused. "Now, gentlemen, I believe you have a case to work."
When Sam and Deeks only stared at her, she stared right back at them.
"Go!" she shooed.
Then, of course, they scrambled.
Nell sidled up to Eric with a smug smile on her face. He glanced sideways at her.
"Can I help you?" he asked.
"Aren't you forgetting something?" she queried. "Like – I don't know – a little bet?"
Eric pursed his lips. "We still don't know for sure if it's true," he hedged.
"You're gonna go against Nate now?"
"Nate can sometimes be wrong," Eric pointed out.
"Okay, forget Nate," Nell agreed. "You're gonna go against Hetty?"
Eric froze and turned to look at her.
"I overheard her talking to Sam and Deeks downstairs," Nell said. "She's just confirmed that Callen and Kensi have been seeing each other." She grinned brightly.
Eric sighed. He knew when he was beaten. Digging out his wallet, he withdrew thirty dollars and handed it to her.
"Thank you," she said politely as she took the money.
Eric just grunted.
Callen lay on his side, propped up on his elbow, with the sheets pulled up to his waist. As usual, he'd woken up earlier than could be considered normal – but instead of getting out of bed to do something, as he usually did, he chose to stay where he was and watch Kensi sleep.
The female agent looked so peaceful when she slept; when she was asleep, she was free of all the worries and pressures of life.
Callen was still coming to terms with what he felt for Kensi. He was prepared to admit to himself that he wanted to do this; he wanted to be with her – but he didn't know if he wanted the same thing she wanted for their relationship. He was too much of a lone wolf, too used to fending for just himself, that to include another person in his life to the level that Kensi wanted to be included was…difficult – if indeed it could be done at all.
And he was…scared. He would never admit it to anyone – least of all Kensi – but he was truly terrified that he would lose her. If they took their relationship to the next step, and it didn't work out – it would be almost as bad as if one of them were to be killed on the job. He honestly didn't know if, in taking this step, he could deal with the emotional consequences.
He'd already had a taste of what it felt like to be at odds with Kensi.
Callen returned to his house and made a valiant attempt to sleep, to lose himself in rejuvenating unconsciousness…but that was asking for the impossible, especially after what happened. After an hour and a half of tossing about in bed, he decided to go to OSP and sleep on the couch. That trusty piece of work furniture had never failed him before.
When he arrived at the building, he was somewhat surprised to find Hetty there - the little woman was not off medical leave yet.
"What are you doing here, Hetty?"
"I had a feeling you might be coming here tonight," Hetty said. Her voice was sympathetic, understanding; her eyes reflected her tone.
Callen gaped. Was there anything the woman didn't know? "How did you know?"
"Mr. Callen, I know my agents," she told him. "So when Agent Hunter mentioned to me that you had taken off for some personal time, and that Miss Blye was acting strangely, I knew something was up."
"Hetty…" he began, ready to defend himself. She stopped him with a wave of her hand.
"I know you wanted to be there, Callen – and I also know how important it is to you that you continue searching for your past. All I'm saying is I imagined that Kensi intended to talk to you about your activities – and knowing both of you as I do, I guessed that it would go further than that. I also knew that after that, you would come here." She smiled ruefully. "Despite how long you've stayed in that house, it is still not a home to you, is it, Mr. Callen?"
He shook his head mutely. Hetty sighed.
"Oh, well," she said, "I suppose it would have been foolish to expect you to stay away from the couch for more than three months. It's all yours, Mr. Callen."
Callen thanked her and turned to go inside, but she called him back.
"Oh, Mr. Callen?"
"Yeah, Hetty?" he asked, backtracking.
"Just remember what I told you about leadership."
"You've told me a lot of things about leadership," Callen said, puzzled.
"Ah, yes – well, I'm referring to something rather specific this time…do you recall our final conversation before Prague?"
How could he forget?
"You said the true test of a commander comes when he's frightened and confused," he remembered.
"Very good, Mr. Callen," she praised. "What else?"
"When I can't find what I need in myself, I'll find it in my team," he quoted.
"Yes, Mr. Callen. I meant that in more than one way."
"Hetty, I'm not really following you…"
"That advice does not apply only to work-related matters," Hetty told him. "It can also be interpreted to fit problems in other areas of life."
Callen fell silent as her meaning sank in. Hetty nodded to herself as she saw his understanding.
"Think about that, Callen. Goodnight." She turned to go.
"Hetty."
She half-turned, raising an eyebrow in question.
"When are you coming back?"
She sighed. "Soon, Mr. Callen."
"How soon is soon?" he pressed.
She smiled knowingly. "Goodnight, Mr. Callen," she said, with finality.
Callen sighed, knowing he wasn't going to get anything more out of her. "Goodnight, Hetty."
Callen had thought about that a lot since the day of their argument. Kensi had told him she wanted more – and he, being damaged goods, with all his insecurities and uncertainties, had pulled back.
He'd been frightened and confused.
He was still frightened and confused, though most of the time he could hide it even from himself. But three months on, he was wondering if maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to commit himself to this relationship. He cared for Kensi a lot, and he knew she felt the same way.
If he was really, brutally honest with himself, he might – might – even admit that he loved her. But he'd never said it – neither of them had. In the six, seven months of their relationship, both of them had intentionally shied away from the L word. Saying that would take their relationship deeper, whether they wanted it to or not – it would cement their feelings, make things complicated. That's why even considering whether he loved her was such a frightening prospect.
That one simple word had the potential to utterly transform their entire relationship.
So, he obviously couldn't find what he wanted in himself. Now the question was, whom could he find it in? Because he really did want to make this work – but he wasn't sure he should.
Kensi stirred, saving Callen from the confusing muddle his befuddled thoughts were wrapping him in. She cracked open and eyelid, groaned slightly, then snuggled closer to him.
"What time is it?" she mumbled.
"Nine," he replied.
"And how long have you been up?"
His lips quirked up in a smile. "A while."
She wasn't having that. Propping herself up on her elbow in a stance similar to his, she rearranged her sleepy features into something more awake in order to glare at him.
"How long, Callen?"
"Three hours," he admitted.
She considered that. "Hm," she said. "That's later than your usual."
"Yes, it is," he agreed. "Must be something about you that calms me enough to make me sleep an extra hour or so," he said, only half-joking.
Her smile was half-hearted and short-lived; they both knew they were still in that determining period, the tipping point. Neither could say how long they would balance precariously on the edge; but they both knew it wouldn't be for much longer. With a sigh, Kensi pulled a sheet towards her, draping it over her body, before sliding out of bed.
"We'd better get dressed. We have work to do."
Callen nodded in agreement and followed suit.
Kensi listened with restlessness as Deeks described his latest date with his most recent conquest – a young woman named Danielle MacQuinn. Her surfer partner was enthusiastically retelling how his wonderful night went.
Unfortunately, Deeks' animated narration was bringing up memories of her own wonderful date nights – with the man next to her.
Kensi glanced sideways at Callen, who was writing out a report on his desk. He felt her scrutiny and looked up to meet her gaze; she quickly jerked her eyes away.
Two weeks since they had all but ended their relationship, they had fallen into a careful, non-personal association that was a faint, unsatisfying shadow of the friendship they used to share. Callen had even stopped calling her Kenz, which was something she missed.
Fortunately, though, none of their colleagues had as yet picked up on the change in their relationship. Had Nate been here, Kensi was sure he would have noticed – but he wasn't, and so far, their problems still remained unknown.
Lately, though, Kensi had been reflecting on their argument enough for all of them.
The reason behind her request that night for a deeper relationship with Callen stemmed from her desire to be more than just an agent – spurred on by Hetty's little heart-to-heart chat with her just before the other woman had left for Prague.
And as always, Hetty was absolutely right. Kensi didn't want to come home to nothing but a collection of weapons. She wanted someone whom she knew would be there for her – and she wanted Callen to be that person. But he still insisted on doing the lone wolf thing. He himself had said he couldn't be who she wanted him to be. So why was she still hoping he might give her a second answer – a different answer?
Kensi sighed. She could hope and wish all she could – but the chances of that happening were close to zero.
Eric's sharp whistle interrupted her brooding, and she, Callen, Sam, and Deeks all moved upstairs. Out of the corner of her eye, Kensi noticed Hunter's disapproving frown, and she guessed that it wouldn't be long before the acting Operations Manager banned Eric from whistling in OSP.
"What've we got, Eric?" Callen asked as he entered Ops.
"Missing Navy couple," Eric replied. "Harold and Amelia Warner are both Marines who are on leave while they await redeployment back on the ship they work on – the U.S.S. Ohio. Two days ago they just disappeared without a trace – no clues whatsoever."
"This is similar to a string of other cases of missing couples all around the country over the past five months," Nell added. "So far, eight couples have gone missing…and the first three were found dead several weeks later."
"Hunter told me to tell you that she wants you and Kensi to go undercover as one of the couples," Eric said to Callen. "She's waiting in her office to brief you and give you your new aliases."
Callen and Kensi exchanged a glance full of uncertainty. Both were unsure if they could pull this off.
"Okay," Callen replied to Eric. He turned to Kensi. "Let's go, Kensi."
That op was difficult for them to perform. It took them three weeks in total to crack down on the kidnappers and rescue the other couples, and they slipped up more than once because of the underlying emotional issues between them – a fact not missed by Hunter or their teammates. Luckily for them, however, everyone assumed that it was because this was the first case of the type for them.
Eventually, they'd pulled their act together and resolved to keep their guard up, never letting anyone see what truly lay beneath. From then, any role that required them to play a couple was executed excellently, almost up to their usual standard.
But unbeknownst to anyone, every time they had to play what they no longer were, it drove the stake of hurt even deeper in each of them.
For the purpose of the operation, Callen's and Kensi's covers had been very thoroughly constructed. As such, both of them, as Jacob and Alison Carmel, had civilian jobs as part of their cover. It had all been arranged for them by Eric and Nell. The two OSP technicians had purposely sought low-profile employment for Jacob and Alison, because the op wasn't intended to be long-term. Jacob Carmel worked for a low-key insurance company as a mail clerk; Alison was a part-time interior decorator. Both Callen and Kensi resigned themselves to working as civilians until their mission was accomplished. Hopefully, it wouldn't be too long from now – all they were waiting on was for Gordon to contact them with details of the meet with his suppliers, and they could move in to bring the drug ring down.
Still, it didn't make the day any less boring. By the time evening had fallen and Jacob's shift at the company was finally over, Callen was dying for a little stimulating activity.
"Hi, honey," Kensi greeted him at the door. "How was your day?"
"Fine," Callen answered automatically. His eyes, however, conveyed a different message: dreary.
Kensi chuckled. "Well, dinner's on the table, so that should cheer you up a bit."
Callen nodded and hung up his coat just as his phone rang. He dug it out, noticed the number, and glanced significantly at Kensi.
"It's Gordon," he said quietly.
Kensi immediately got out her phone and speed-dialed Eric. "Eric, Gordon's calling Callen right now. See if you can trace the call." They had opted not to put a tail on Gordon for fear that he might notice and connect it to his new friends the Carmels.
"On it," Eric agreed. Kensi nodded at Callen, and he tapped the receive button.
"Hello?"
"Jacob," Gordon greeted. "I've been making the necessary arrangements, and it just so happens we have what you need on hand. I don't have to send for supplies after all."
"Really?" Callen faked interest, locking eyes with Kensi. "So, that means…?"
"That means, Jacob," Gordon said, "that we can do business the day after tomorrow."
"Where?" Callen queried. "What time?"
"Three o' clock at the cosmetics store just around the corner from your apartment."
"Okay," Callen agreed. "We'll be there."
"I'll see you." Gordon hung up.
Callen threw a questioning look at Kensi as he pocketed his phone; she checked with Eric and shook her head.
"Too short," she said.
He nodded. "Guess we'll have to wait till the meet."
"Guess so," Kensi agreed.
A/N: Next chapter turns up the heat with the case. We're getting reeeaally close to the prologue now...
The allusions in the flashbacks refer to Imposters (Season 2 Episode 23) and Cyber Threat (Season 3 Episode 2).