DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter :D

So thanks for the positive reviews!

Again, this isn't supposed to be taken seriously. It's AU :)

Thanks to Katniss Everdeen x

She gave me the idea for Draco to discover the wonders of television; and we kinda came up with the idea of Draco discovering muggle technology in the first place.

Also, Hermione's grandfather wasn't harmed when Draco broke the phone. Hermione's only without a cellphone, not a grandfather. And I'm sure after the predicament Hermione went and bought a new phone.

Draco Malfoy Discovers Televison

Hermione had fun explaining to her parents why her phone was blasted to oblivion. When her parents asked how her answer was simply: "It's a wizard problem." Her parents tried to stay out of that territory after one particularly odd visit to Diagon Alley. Anways, despite Draco murdering her phone she was still determined to teach him the way of a muggle. Even if that meant him destroying everything she owned.

This time her mission to teach Draco the ways of a muggle, took them to the muggle world. Actually, it took them to her house. Her parents were at work so they could do what they pleased and leave.

Draco sat solemly on her couch; every now and then he would say something snarky. "These muggle houses are so simple; nothing like the Malfoy Manor." He scowled.

"I think we should teach him about duct tape Hermione." Harry mumbled.

Draco raised an eyebrow, "What's that Potter?"

"Nothing Malfoy." Harry snapped.

"Okay Draco, today were going to teach you about the televison!" Hermione said excitedly. "Now this Plasma is my father's pride and joy, so give me your wand." She held out her hand.

Draco reluctantly gave her his wand. "So what does this contraption do?"

"Were going to watch a horror movie." Hermione explained, "I assure you, nobody is inprisoned in here." She pressed the play button and the movie started. Draco stared at the screen; he was actually interested.

"Wow, Hermione he seems to be enjoying it." Harry acknowledged. But as the movie went on, Harry and Hermione noticed something. Draco seemed to think the people on the television could hear him.

When the two girls were talking to each other on the screen about who murdered their friend, Draco was frantic. "I know who did it, why won't you two listen to me! It was the guy in the mask!" He exclaimed.

Harry excused himself to the bathroom claiming he was going to piss himself. "Draco they can't-" She was cut off.

"Don't go in there!" Draco exclaimed, "he just went in there!"

"They can't-"

"Why are you going in there?" Draco yelled. He stood up from the couch and walked over to the television. "He has a knife, listen to me!" Unfortuantly the curious girl went to the closet, and the murderer jumped out at her and stabbed her.

"See I told you!" Draco yelled. "I told you not to go in there, so don't cry!"

Hermione shook her head, and a curious Harry appeared next to her.

"How dare you not listen to me, wait until my father hears about this!" Draco then did something Hermione was dreading. He pushed the television off the stand and it crashed to the ground. The screen went black and Draco smiled happily. "That'll teach you, now that i've destroyed your world!" Draco laughed.

Hermione and Harry watched in horror. "He's bloody mental." Harry mumbled.

Hermione realised teaching Draco Malfoy about muggle technology was going to make her either lose everything she owned; or her sanity.

Like I said this is a crack!fic

Any suggestion on what Draco should discover next?