A/N: Many, many thanks to my seven reviewers DizzyDrea, SP SVU B, cdfuller23, terken, Rebel Magnus, TwilightPony21, and ChlollieRockz! You guys are seriously awesome!
This chapter is unique in several ways. It has no flashback, unlike previous chapters; it is all one scene; it includes only Callen and Kensi; and it's the last proper chapter of this story.
Oh, yes - and the mystery of Laura is solved, too.
Chapter 12: Three Days Later
Kensi awoke to find Callen sitting by her bed in the visitor's chair. She blinked twice at him, as if making sure he was real.
For his part, Callen saw that she was awake and smiled warmly at her. "Hey, Kenz."
"Hey." She paused as she carefully pushed herself up into a sitting position, then continued, "Deeks told me…it was all just a dream?" Her voice was unsure, betraying the insecurities she was trying to hide.
"It was." Callen leaned forward and grasped her hand to assure her. "It was just a dream, Kenz. I'm here, I'm fine, and I'm not going anywhere." He smiled. "I promised, remember?"
Kensi's lips smiled back slightly of their own accord, even if her brain was still trying to wrap itself around the fact that Callen was alive.
"Yes," she agreed, "you did." She sobered as she remembered how, in her dream, he had failed to keep that promise. Here, in the real world, he was still upholding his word – but with their line of work, was there really any guarantee?
Callen noticed the crease in her brow that indicated she was thinking of something that was bothering her.
"Kensi, it's okay. I'm not gonna leave," he assured her.
She smiled sadly. "I know. But what about next time? What happens when we have to put ourselves in danger again? Will you still be there?"
Callen didn't say anything. He knew as well as she did that no matter how much he might want to, he couldn't truly guarantee that he would keep his promise.
"I don't know, Kenz," he admitted. "But I promise I'll try my hardest to keep my promise."
Even she had to smile at how roundabout that was.
"You've been making me a lot of promises," she noted.
Callen smiled. "It's the least I can do, after everything you've given me." He grew serious. "I owe you, Kenz."
"Yes, you do." Kensi fell silent, staring at the wall. She could still recall every part of her dream so clearly…and there was one part of it that was circling around in her mind, refusing to go away. She closed her eyes, hoping she could forget it soon.
"Who's Laura?" Callen enquired suddenly.
"What?" Kensi opened her eyes again to stare intently at him. "Where'd you hear that name?"
"You were talking in your sleep, Kenz."
"I was?" Dimly, she remembered the memory she'd been reliving in her head while she slept. She was beginning to think she needed several weeks of psychotherapy from Nate; lately, her mind seemed to delight in providing her with scenarios she didn't like at all.
"Yeah." Callen looked at her quizzically. "So, who's Laura?"
She tried to dodge, to find an excuse not to say anything, to come up with a deceptive half-truth – but it wouldn't come. "Laura was…Laura was…" she fumbled. "Never mind who Laura was."
"Kensi." His hand covered hers. "You were tossing and turning. I know it's something that bothers you."
She wanted to laugh; the situation was right back to where it was two weeks ago – with him wanting to find out more about her, but still unwilling to share his past with her.
"Tell you what," she decided. "I'll tell you about Laura, if you tell me something about you."
His posture turned careful, guarded – but not entirely defensive. She took confidence in that.
"Okay," he agreed.
"And you go first."
Callen raised an eyebrow. She just looked straight back at him, holding his gaze.
"All right," he relented. His mind cast around for the many topics he could choose to delve into, and settled on the most important – his relationship with Sharon.
It was time to come clean.
So, for the next forty minutes, Callen told Kensi about Sharon, the first woman he had ever let into his life.
"She didn't exactly give me a choice," he said wryly. "I tried to keep her out, but she would have none of it." He chuckled. "Kind of like you."
Kensi smiled back, but it did not reach her eyes. She could hear Callen's pain underneath the layers of concealment in his voice – even after all these years, she could tell that Sharon's death still haunted him. Nobody deserved this sort of pain, least of all G Callen, after everything else he had been through. If she'd known, she never would have made him tell her. She knew all too well what it was like to relive painful experiences.
"Callen, I'm sorry," she apologized sincerely.
He looked surprised. "For what, Kenz?"
"Making you tell me. I know it couldn't have been easy for you."
"Hey." He touched her hand. "Don't worry about it. Besides," he added, "it's your turn now."
Kensi sighed, indicating her concurrence even as she braced herself. This retelling was going to hurt – especially since it would be the first time she'd ever spoken about it to anyone.
"When I was in college," she began, "I had a friend. Her name was Laura Redmond. She was a Marine brat, like me. We hit it off immediately, and when we found out we both wanted to go into law enforcement…well, wild horses couldn't have separated us." A small, gentle smile graced her face. "We were best friends for three years."
Here Kensi swallowed; they were approaching the difficult part of this story. She wished she could say different, claim that it had a happy ending – but that would be lying. And she had had enough of lies.
"Early in our final year," she continued, striving to make sure her voice didn't tremble, "we were walking home one night, when this…guy…jumped in front of us with a gun. We didn't even know him – we were just in the wrong place at the wrong time."
She refrained from mentioning that she had agonized, for months after, why the whole sordid event had happened. Why that night? Why them? Why not someone else, some other time? These questions, she had come to realize, would never be answered – it was just a tragic occurrence, brought about by the merciless actions of a cold-hearted killer who didn't even need a motive.
"I froze, Callen," Kensi admitted softly. "I couldn't move…I didn't know what to do…" She looked disgusted by her past inability. "But Laura…" She drew a shuddering breath. "Laura jumped in front of me just as he was pulling the trigger." She closed her eyes in memory, willing herself not to cry. She'd cried enough.
Callen rubbed her hand comfortingly, wordlessly encouraging her to continue, even as his heart squeezed painfully with sympathy. He couldn't believe Kensi had been through so much tragedy in her twenty-nine years. No wonder she'd wanted a real relationship, wanted him to become a constant, someone she could count on – she needed the sense of security, after all the loss she'd experienced.
And he hadn't been able to give it to her…
"I don't know what would have happened if a cop hadn't happened to be on his neighborhood beat nearby," Kensi said, pulling Callen's attention back to the story. "He came rushing over the minute he heard the gunshot; the perp ran when he heard him. If it hadn't been for that cop, I probably wouldn't be here."
Callen's grip on her hand tightened.
"It was too late for Laura, though," Kensi went on. Her tone had dropped to almost a whisper. "We called an ambulance and it took her to the hospital, but…" She inhaled sharply. "She fell into a coma after the surgery, and died about two weeks later." She blew out the breath she'd been holding and glanced back up at Callen, her fathomless brown eyes swimming with regret and disappointment.
"And what really kills me, Callen, is that we never found the son of a bitch who killed Laura. He vanished after that night." Kensi's next words hitched in her throat. "I'll never forget the look on her father's face when I told him the authorities had closed the investigation. We both protested, but there was nothing we could do…our guy had disappeared, and we couldn't find him." She stared off at a point beyond Callen's head, lost in the memory. "That was the day I decided to apply for NCIS. I wanted to be part of a naval agency, so I could help bring closure to the families of other Marines – closure Mr. Redmond and I never got."
Callen knew Kensi wasn't just talking about closure over Laura's case – her statement applied to her father, too. He nodded understandingly, his face wearing an expression of deep sympathy. But he was still a little confused about one thing.
"Why was it suddenly bothering you just now?" he inquired.
Kensi sighed – then winced as her wounded abdomen muscles ached at the action.
"It's nothing," she said dismissively. At Callen's skeptical look, she reluctantly elaborated, "It's just…I think that dream of mine stirred up my subconscious, causing it to dredge up the memory. I…I remember thinking, in my dream, that the situation was so much like Laura's…waiting around, fearing the worst…" She trailed off, her eyes distant. Callen squeezed her hand.
"Kensi, listen." His tone had changed; it was earnest now, filled with more emotion than he usually allowed. Kensi realized, with a sudden clarity of insight, that Callen had let his mask slip, revealing the true man underneath. "I cared a lot about Sharon. I…I loved her. But I never told her. It's the biggest regret I have." He could feel his eyes mist up as, after all these years, he finally admitted his pain. "Kensi, I never told Sharon that I loved her."
Kensi had to admit, she felt a little jealous of this Sharon, who had known Callen so well – better than she did. But she couldn't remain envious for long, especially when she saw just how much Callen was hurting. She reached out with her hand to touch her palm to his cheek.
"That's why you have your rule, isn't it?" she said gently. "The one about dating cops."
"Yeah," he admitted. He sniffed dryly. "Look at us," he said, deprecatingly. "We're really screwed up. Both of us had serious relationships that ended badly, so we both made up rules about dating…and then all that went out the window when I visited you on Christmas Eve. And then we kept alternating – hot and cold, then warm, then cool…"
Kensi chuckled weakly. "What a pair we are," she remarked.
"What a pair," Callen agreed. "But Kenz," he said, "have you ever thought that maybe it's because we're both so damaged that we're in this relationship?"
Kensi frowned thoughtfully. "Sometimes," she confessed. "I mean, it's like we're good for each other, in that way – because we both know what it's like to have a relationship that was so promising snatched away from us. We wouldn't be able to find anyone else who could understand that."
"And we both know how it feels to lose someone we love," Callen added.
"I know." Kensi nodded; but her eyes had narrowed slightly. This was leading up to something – she just knew it. "Where are you going with this, Callen?"
Callen took a deep breath. "Kensi, you said before that you wanted me to try to be the person you wanted – someone who would be there for you no matter what."
"Right," she agreed, still suspicious.
"And I told you I couldn't," Callen continued. "At first I thought I said no because I didn't think I could be the man you deserved."
"You were wrong?" she inquired, half-skeptically. What was he hoping to achieve with this?
"I was wrong," he confirmed. "Kensi, the reason I said no wasn't because I thought I couldn't be that person. Deep down, I guess I knew I could, because I'd done it before. The truth is, I said no because of purely selfish reasons."
"If you're trying to make it up to me for what happened between us, you're not exactly doing a good job of endearing yourself," she pointed out. Honestly, she was having a little trouble keeping up with him. The painkillers she was on could really do a number on her cognitive abilities.
"Hear me out, Kenz." There was a twinkle in his eyes, but his face was serious – as was his tone. "I said no…because I was afraid…not because I couldn't be who you wanted…but because I thought you couldn't be what I wanted."
Kensi blinked. "What?" she asked in confusion. This was making no sense at all. Damn the painkillers.
"After I lost Sharon, I gave up on ever finding someone," Callen confided. "I thought no one would be able to understand me as well as she did – and anyway, I thought was so damaged, so scarred from the experience, that I wouldn't be able to have a serious relationship again." Here he broke into a smile, and it was like the sun coming out. "You proved me wrong, Kenz."
Kensi was feeling a little tongue-tied by this startling and rather unexpected declaration. "I'm glad to hear it," she said, a little thickly.
Unfortunately for her, she reflected somewhat wryly, this didn't exactly change anything between Callen and her. They were still on that knife point, balancing between one outcome and another.
Callen noticed this and chuckled. "You don't get it, do you, Kenz?"
She shook her head, bemused. Callen smiled.
"Kenz, I told you earlier what I regret most in my life." She nodded. He continued, "I'm not gonna make the same mistake again."
Then, slowly, gradually, wonderfully, the truth began to dawn on her.
"The past few days have been hell, plain and simple," Callen went on. "I was reliving what happened with Sharon, and I was so scared I was going to lose you too. But then you pulled through. And I felt like I'd been given a second chance. So I'm not gonna waste it." He bent closer, until she could feel his warm breath tickling her forehead. "I love you, Kensi Marie Blye. And I'm ready."
She gaped at him, incredulous, the aching soreness in her wounds forgotten.
"And just so you know," he added lightly, "that's the first time I've said those three little words to any woman who wasn't my mother or sister."
And with that, a comfortable sense of certainty settled over her heart, and Kensi knew it was there to stay. It was like the world had suddenly opened up, revealing the many wonderful possibilities it held for her and Callen.
And Kensi recalled the one part of her painful dream that stood out like a blinding beacon of hope – the one part she'd wished were true, because God knows she had never been brave enough to do it in real life.
The part where she'd leaned close to Callen and whispered something into his ear.
The whisper: "I love you."
Now it was time to bring that act out of dream world and into real life.
After several seconds, Kensi managed to find her voice. "Well," she said, "I can't claim the same for myself about men, but…" She hesitated. "I love you too, G Callen." She smiled. "And for the record, that's the first time I've said it to anyone since Jack." She added softly, "And I'm ready, too."
"Good to know," said Callen.
And then he kissed her, finally accepting their connection for what it was – a real relationship, with all the ups and downs, but with the love that made it all worth it anyway.
It wasn't a brand-new beginning – because why on earth would they want to start all over again after everything they had been through? – but it was a beginning, nonetheless.
And Kensi Blye, for one, loved it.
A/N: Awwww...
It's surprisingly hard to come up with a good Callen/Kensi romance scene, did you know? Neither of them are particularly emotional or open, and that makes it tough to write...but I like to think I do it justice. Hopefully you think so too.
So, anyway, that's the last chapter of When Things Go Wrong - but don't go away, because there's an epilogue coming tomorrow!
Now I'm going to go watch Kensi kick butt in Hawaii Five-0 ;D I've been waiting for that episode for ages.