For starters, I do not own Castle or any of the characters from Castle. I'm just writing for fun, clean and simple.

So. I must again apologize profusely for the huge gap between this one and the last. I don't know what my problem is with these couple of chapters. The next one might take me a little too. But after that, they should come a little more quickly. I really want to skip ahead a couple of chapters because I can't WAIT to write those but I need to get through these bits before the super awesome stuff gets there. Anyway so this one's a little shorter than the others but… I dunno, kinda filler. The more important stuff's at the beginning… kinda. I dunno. Haha (CASTLE SHOW RANT (not very important but!): OH MY GOSH. Why can't they just get together already? There are so many double meanings for their lines and their little looks :p ALSO. I want to force feed Stana some food. She looks TINY. Like waaaay skinnier than last year! I mean it was alright for Rise but now… it's just worrying But… anyway. Thoughts about the new season? Do you agree? I still love Castle though )

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I really loved writing the beginning. The end was the pisser though. Anyway, drop me a review and tell me what you're thinkin', what you want to happen, what you think will happen, what you liked or didn't, what you thought was OOC, whatever. I love reviews, so if you've got something to say, just please say it (mwahahah Knockout line 3 ).

Thank :)

M

Part 10

"Kate. Kate." My name floated through my sleepy haze and I roused myself as the bed shuddered. My hand was being crushed in Castle's vice like grip. His eyes were pressed shut and there was a tear tracing down his face. My heart stopped watching him thrash weakly.

"Castle," I tugged my hand free and struggled into a sitting position, glancing at the clock as I went. 3:16. We'd barely been asleep an hour, "Castle wake up, you're okay."

"Kate," his eyes remained shut and he writhed, trapped in the covers, "No, don't touch her! Get away. No!" another tear slid out of his eye. My lip snuck between my teeth as I reached over to shake his shoulder.

"Castle. Come on, get up. I'm right here. Shhh…" I brushed his cheeks clean of tears and ran my fingers through his hair.

"No." he moaned again, "She trusted you, how could you?" his hand wrapped tight around my wrist and his other was curled into a fist. I watched in horror as his clenched hand swung up at me.

"Castle wake up, it's just a dream. Rick!" I yelled, frozen. On a normal day I would have dodged and grabbed it, but being paralyzed by a chest wound along with being half asleep slowed my reactions.

Suddenly his eyes flew open. The bright blue irises seemed to widen to encompass his whole face as he took in the scene before him. His clenched fist barely an inch from my cheek, me, tense and bracing for impact, clutching his shoulder, a hand in his hair.

"Kate," he rasped, staring at me in horror, as his hand fell limply to the bed between us, "Kate, I-"

"Hush," it came out more harshly than I meant for it to.

"But… I…" he tried again, sitting up and dropping his head. Another tear teetered on the edge of his eyelid. I swallowed hard, trying to wash away the irrational terror and adrenaline that had burned through me.

"Shhh," I murmured, wiping the tear away, "You're okay, you're okay. I'm right here," my hand was shaking against his cheek and his came up to cover it.

"I almost hit you," he choked, "I… Montgomery just… just watched as Lockwood shot you and Darling was dragging you away and I had to hit him and then… it was you and I almost… God Kate I'm so sorry," he shivered and pulled away from me, running his fingers though his hair, grabbing tufts of it, pulling it. He looked mad and it physically hurt me more to watch him than to move.

"Castle, stop it. You're… you didn't hit me. You stopped yourself. You weren't even fully awake and you stopped yourself. I know you would never hurt me intentionally." I wasn't even aware of the exact words cascading out of my mouth. My only goal was to calm him down, comfort him, "I don't blame you. It's okay."

Castle didn't move, "It's not okay, Kate. Nothing is okay."

I grabbed his shoulders and tugged at them, trying to turn him to face me, "I already told you, we'll get there. It'll just take-"

"Time," he finished for me bitterly, "But how much time, Kate? Until we stop Darling, you're still in danger. We've got no clue what the hell we're doing, the new Captain's threatening to close the case and you can barely move without hurting. What about that will 'get to be okay'? How much time do you think we have?" he was losing it and I knew I should have tried to do something else but only one thing registered in my mind, "The new Captain wants to close the case? What the hell is he thinking?"

"It's a she, and she's… she's something. By the book as they come, unwavering. Things are changing down at the 12th. She said the case has gone cold. That we're wasting time and man power on it."

"No!" I clenched my hands a fresh wave of fear sweeping though me, "She doesn't understand, she can't close it, we've never been this close! Where's the phone? I have to call-"

"You don't really think the boys and I would stop just because the new Captain said so, do you?" All the fight from earlier seemed to have fallen away. He sounded aged and tired again.

Rationality caught up with me and I blushed, "Right… Sorry, no, of course not." I

sighed, rubbing my face and biting back a yawn. The whirlwind of emotions, physical strain, very uneasy nap, and subsequent conversation had left me feeling defeated and more exhausted than before. I had failed him. I was supposed to protect him from his nightmares, make everything better and instead I had made things worse, scared him, let him think he was hurting me when I hadn't slept that well in the past two weeks.

"Well… my plan worked so well," I muttered brushing hair over my face, "Sorry I couldn't help.

For a few minutes Castle didn't move or respond. I thought he'd fallen back asleep sitting up and was starting to wonder whether or not I should check on him when he turned. A fresh tear rolled down his cheek but he ignored it. Instead his arms wound around my waist and he pulled me down so that my chest was barely an inch from his as we lay side by side in the bed.

I tensed as he settled us back under the covers. I had been doing pretty well with not freaking out about how physical (and God, did that sound dirty in my head) we'd been but this physical line was a biggie. It was deliciously warm and comfortable here, nestled against him, being held by him, like this, but was I – were we – ready for this… step or whatever it was?

"Castle," I murmured, not trusting myself to say anything but not really sure what I'd have said anyway.

"This helps," he breathed and I shivered slightly as his breath washed over my cheeks. Had this been the Castle I'd known even two years ago, I wouldn't have even considered not pulling away, but things, he, everything had changed.

"Okay," I whispered, sliding my right hand up to grip the side of his shirt while my left one stayed curled between us, pressed against both of our chests.

"Thank you," he sighed into my hair. My head was tucked between his chin and shoulder and I could feel and hear every breath, every heart beat. I relaxed into him finally, resting my head on the pillow just under his and was lulled back to sleep by the steady rhythm.

My leg was vibrating. Vibrating and singing the most obnoxious 3 note tune imaginable. It was trying to tear me away from my hole. It was safe and warm here in the darkness. Everything else was distant and not nearly as scary here in my cocoon. But now my leg was vibrating and singing and dragging me away from the haven. Maybe if I ignored it, I thought, it would just go away. But it didn't. It went on and on for an impossibly long time.

Groaning quietly, I opened my eyes and was presented with a very nice view of Castle's maroon clad chest. I was pressed against him, our legs tangled together and his hands on my back. One had slipped under the hem of my shirt and rested lightly in the small of my back. My phone rang from my pocket again and I relinquished my hold on the side of his shirt and reached around his arms to retrieve it.

"Beckett," I mumbled, somewhat self consciously laying my head back against Rick's chest. His arms tightened around me and the fingers on my bare back trailed lightly over my skin. My breath caught as my flesh tingled in the trails left by his fingers and I glanced up, trying not to grin as I watched a contented sigh flow between his upturned lips.

"Hey girl, I tried to call Writer Boy but he didn't pick up. Is everything okay?" Lanie. My eyes shot open and I froze. Oh God. Was she in the house? Had she been? Had she seen us? No. Not possible. No, if she had seen us, she wouldn't have responded with a 'Hey girl." More than likely, there would have been stern words, some swearing and then finally girlish shrieking.

"Hmm? Yeah. He's taking a nap on the couch and didn't hear his phone in his office." I made a concerted effort to sound casual and awake. She could not know how we were… positioned at this moment in time.

"A nap! Wait 'til I get a hold of him he's supposed to be taking care of you."

"Lanie, it's fine. I was taking one too. I told him to rest," I felt like she could see me, lying in the circle of his arms. She had to know. Lanie always knew. I started second guessing what I was saying before it came out, making it sound decidedly less casual, "Yeah, he's exhausted."

"Oh no," Lanie seemed to buy it okay, though, "I'm so sorry sweetie, I didn't wake you, did I?"

"No, no. I was already up. So what's going on, Lanie?"

"Javi and I are on the way. I have your stuff and he wants to talk to Castle. Maybe we can get you a shower too," I sighed with joy at the thought of a shower, even if it was just using a wet washcloth to clean up. The last time I'd had one was… two… no three… no was it just the day before that I'd gotten out of the hospital? It felt like ages. So much had happened.

There was an indeterminate voice and a muffled whack and a laugh from the other end of the phone, "Javi says hi too," Lanie giggled.

I smiled. The interaction was so classically… them. I had missed seeing them daily. Outside socialization would be so very welcome, for both Castle and me, "Okay. I'll try to wake Castle up so he can get the door when you guys get here."

"Don't worry about it, honey. I have a key. See you soon. We're a block away," The line clicked off and Lanie was gone. Oh God.

Lanie and Esposito had a key. They were coming into this apartment where Castle and I were curled up together in his bed. If they caught us… I mean, it was innocent, nothing had happened but if those two saw…

"Rick," I whispered as I shoved my phone back into the depths of my pocket. He mumbled something and crushed me against his chest, pressing his head to mine.

I bit back a smile then remembered why I was even waking him up in the first place.

"Castle wake up," I poked his chest.

He twitched slightly, moaning, "No. Go back to sleep, Kate."

I laughed lightly, "Well I would but Esposito and Lanie are on their way and if they see us."

Castle's eyes flashed open, "Oh god." With that he was up, striding around to my side of the bed.

"Yeah," I laughed again, rolling onto my back and propping myself against the pillows, "So we've gotta hurry before they get-" I gasped as Castle reached down and scooped me up into his arms, one under my knees, the other supporting my back.

"Here," I finished breathlessly, "Castle, what're ya doin'?"

"You said we had to hurry. Well this is faster than you walking," He shot me an innocent grin.

"Might have given me some warning," I grumbled, clutching the front of his shirt, and fighting to hide another smile.

"Where's fun in that?" We made it to the couch and he gently set me down.

"Oh! I told her you were napping on the couch. Quick get a blanket before they get here."

Castle reached over the back of the couch and, with a flourish, draped a silvery throw over our legs, "Taken care of." He slid his arm around my shoulders and grabbed the remote off the coffee table flipping on the TV. Women's soccer.

"Does you TV just go to a random channel when you turn it on?" I asked catching myself almost leaning into him.

"Actually yes. I like not knowing what's going to happen when I turn it on."

I opened my mouth to make a crude, Castle-esque joke when the sound of scraping metal from the door interrupted me. A few moments later, it swung open to reveal Esposito and Lanie.

Castle leapt up from the couch (but not before Lanie caught a glimpse of his arm around me and the blanket over our legs and shot me a look that said "mhm. We'll talk about this later.") and all but ran to our friends. Jealous that I couldn't do the same, I did my best and stood shakily next to the couch. I didn't realize how much of a weight off my chest seeing them in front of me would be. It was like I had been carrying around a 50 pound dumb bell in my stomach for days and only realized it when it had disappeared.

Lanie dropped Esposito's hand (I had noticed her holding onto him rather a lot tighter during my stay at the hospital than I was used to) and the duffle bag she'd been carrying to receive Castle's enthusiastic hug and chaste kiss on the cheek.

"Hey writer boy. I thought you were taking a nap." Lanie smiled in spite of her stern tone.

"Oh yeah, well, Kate woke me up after she got your call." God, was I glad I had briefed him. Being the son of an actress had definantly taught him a thing or two. He was much cooler in this situation than I had been.

"Oh I told her not to wake you up."

"It's fine. I wanted to see you guys any way." He smiled, releasing her.

"Alright… So, Castle, you takin' care of our girl?"

"As well as she's allowing, Dr. Parish," he laughed in response, doing the 'bromance hug' (as I had come to think of it) with Esposito.

"Hi, I can hear you guys!" I called, mockingly (okay, well not completely mockingly) indignant.

The three at the door turned and saw me standing with my arms half raised.

"Katherine Beckett, what in the hell are you doing?" Lanie asked, "You're supposed to be resting!" Before I could respond, she reached over and thwacked Castle on the back of the head, "And what are you doin'? She's not supposed to be standing on her own, yet!"

"You know her!" Castle exclaimed, cowering from the second blow he was sure was coming, "I wasn't there to stop her the first time she did it and when she's done it once, there's no way anyone would be able to stop her!"

"I'm still here, ya know!" I groused. I was their partner, their friend, not some experiment or patient to be tended to, "And I think I'm okay to stand on my own for a few minutes, Lanie. There's no need to abuse Castle. Well at least not right now." But even as I spoke, I wavered minutely. My legs were still shakey and my chest felt tight. Lanie didn't miss it and neither did Castle. They both took several steps in my direction.

"Sweetie, you need to sit down," she admonished.

"Not until I get a real hug." Even I surprised myself by saying it. Sure, Lanie was my other best friend, and we'd hugged plenty, but neither of us had ever really said it out right like that.

Lanie stared at me for a moment before repenting and closing the gap between us, hugging me softly. Without my heels I was much closer to her height than I was used to. It felt strange.

She gave me one last, gentle squeezed before pulling away and giving me a stern look, "Now, sit,"

I laughed and complied, sinking down onto the soft cushions of Castle's couch, "Yes, Dr. Parish."

Castle and Lanie sat down on either side of me and Esposito stayed standing by the door.

"Hey, Espo," I called over the back of the couch, "What's-"

"You call that a foul?" he howled at the TV, "Wambach got all ball!" I glanced at the television to see what he was screaming about. An orange clad referee was holding up a yellow card toward a gasping soccer player. She threw her hands up in the air and walked away as a player on the other team set the ball down in front of her to take a kick.

"Since when does he like soccer?" I whispered to Lanie, trying not to laugh.

"It started with the World Cup. I can't tear him away from it," she sighed.

I grabbed the remote from when Castle had dropped it and clicked off the television right as the opposing play swung her leg.

"Wha- Beckett!" Esposito whined.

"Why hello Detective Esposito, lovely to see you too. Any news about the case or Darling?"

The temperature in the loft plummeted. Lanie sighed and ran a tired hand over her face. Esposito went ashen and glanced quickly between Castle and me, "Man, we talked about this."

"I had to tell her. She was going to try and drag herself across my apartment to get her phone and call Lanie to take her to the precinct. It was the only way to stop her," Castle sighed, trying to make the story funny. He failed miserably.

"Not that I would have taken you," Lanie promised.

"I know," I grumbled, "And you two," I glared at Esposito, "You and Ryan are in huge trouble for trying to hide that from me. When I get back,"

"Aw come on Beckett. Castle was part of this two, why isn't he in trouble too?"

"I've already chewed him out and we've made out peace, but you and Tweedle Dee…"

"Alright, alright,"

"But for now, seriously, Epso, what's new in the case?"

"Not much, " he sighed, collapsing into the chair across from us, "Darling's last known address was in Brooklyn, but that was about three years ago. We canvassed the neighborhood anyway but, nada."

"Any known accomplices, past or present?" I leaned forward then winced. That damn zipper again, but I couldn't help my movement. In a normal case, I'd be pacing, moving toward something, working through everything. Just sitting was driving me insane. Castle's hand on my back eased me to my original position.

"All in jail or dead."

"So we're going nowhere fast," I sighed.

"Yeah," Esposito glanced at Castle then ran his hands over his cropped hair. He looked exhausted, haggard and I wondered how much time he'd been spending at the precinct because of me. Guilt curdled in my stomach again.

"Have you tried to talk to the guys in jail?"

"Yeah, Ryan went out to Sing Sing couple days ago but no one's talkin'."

"Of course they aren't."

"We put an APB out, alerts to trains, busses and planes but nothing's shaken out yet. We're about to release his picture to the press if we don't get anything in the next couple of days. It's like the guy's fallen off the map."

"What's the new captain got to say about this?" I asked, remembering what Castle had said about her thread to shut down the investigation.

Esposito snorted and Lanie's lips twitched into a quick smile, "Iron Gates doesn't know about most of it," he smirked.

"Iron Gates?" it was my turn to snort.

"Technically," Lanie said, "Her name is Victoria Gates, but they boys decided that 'Iron Gates' suited her better.

"Do you agree?" I asked. This unknown Gates was intriguing, but from the way Esposito and Castle had referred to her, I had a feeling that butting heads would be in my future.

Lanie shrugged, "Not sure. I haven't really had to be around her much yet. But from the little I've seen of her, a lot's gonna be changin' at the 12th." Well, at least her analysis matched up with Castle's.

"Well what's she got to say about what she does know?"

"Not much. Mostly thinks we're wasting out time and is doing her damndest to close the case. Doesn't like Castle much either," Esposito added the last part as an after thought, a direct jibe at our writer.

"Hey, that's only because I haven't unleashed the full Castle charm on her yet," Castle interjected, looking slightly wounded, "There hasn't been any reason to yet. But just you wait. When I do, she'll love me,"

"Sure thing, Castle," I snorted, patting his knee, but shooting him a smile. He stuck his tongue out at me.
"Anyway," Esposito began again, dragging Castle and I away from one another and back into the previous conversation, "She gave us a week to find something new and useful. That was three days ago. There's nothing yet, but we've still got time. We'll find something."

"What about-" I tried to start again, but Lanie cut in, getting to her feet.

"Alright, the shop talk portion of our visit is over. Come on, girl, we're gonna get you a shower so the boys can have some privacy."

Lanie didn't give me time to fight her. Quickly she grabbed the duffle from the front entrance and returned to my side, hands outstretched. Sighing and conceding defeat, I reached out and grabbed her hands.