Previously on: "A Matter Of Life And Death" - The Doctor prepping Tony for removal of the ventilator tube . . .

"Now I'm sure you know the routine since according to your file it's been less than a month since you to had to do this before, but in case - after I remove a couple of things I will let you know when I am going to pull out the main tube. Then on the count of three I will need you to cough hard while I pull it out. I promise - I'll go as fast as I can."

Gibbs carefully placed his hand on Tony's shoulder giving it just enough pressure to just remind him that he would be right there with him all the way. Three minutes later the doctor was ready, she placed left hand on Tony's non-injured shoulder to keep his torso still and used her right hand to grasp the tube, "Okay – ready?" Tony nodded eagerly. "Okay then, on three - 1 . . . 2 . . . 3!"

~ncis~ncis~ncis~ncis~ncis~ncis~ncis~ncis~ncis~

A Matter Of Life Or Death

Part XII

Tony's Room In ICU . . .

"Okay then Tony - on three - 1 . . . 2 . . . 3!" Tony did as he was told, coughing hard as the doctor pulled the tube out, freeing him finally from the rough plastic. What he hadn't anticipated was the excruciating level of pain that the coughing had left it it's wake, deep down in his chest.

Gibbs and Jenny both cringed upon hearing the strained and wet cough that came forth from Tony's chest as he had done exactly as his doctor had ordered. The tube came out easily and quickly but left his agent coughing and gasping as his body let him know who was really in charge. His lungs had to remind themselves how to take over and maintain the breathing without added assistance. While the doctor slipped a nasal cannula over his head coming to rest just under his nose, she realized that he was struggling, his body seizing up in pain. Knowing that the"flail chest syndrome" her patient had experienced shortly after arriving at the hospital could turn a simple thing like breathing into an excruciating activity. For now she could only coach him on how to relax and breath differently before his lips started turning blue. Only after doing that would then be able to take time to give him something stronger that would help reduce his increasing pain.

"You're doing fine Agent DiNozzo but you need to relax. Try to just take a few slow,shallow breaths for now and your lungs will stop trying to spasm." through the fog of pain Tony heard her but wasn't sure that he could do what she was asking since each cough caused unspeakable pain to flare up deep inside his chest. She was asking the impossible!

Then somehow through the fog of pain he was able to detect the warm grip of Gibbs' strong hand on his shoulder and just like that, it was as if he was able to somehow tap into his bosses' strength through the tethered connection, giving him the boost he needed in order to do what the Doctor was telling him to do. Plus he also knew that dispite the overwhelming pain he was feeling, he did not want to be the cause of everyone's worry - especially Gibbs - so he forced himself to relax as best he could in hopes that it would help him to stop coughing so much. By doing so he noticed right away that his breathing was starting to follow suit - evening out as he only allowed himself to take very short, shallow breaths until the agonizing coughing had finally ceased.

His face and neck broke out in beads of sweat from not only the exertion, but also from fighting against such horrific pain. But no sooner had the excruciating pain in his chest started to die down once he had gained control over his coughing, a different intense pain began to flare up in the rest of his body - mainly his abdomen and by doing so it brought his body to a new level of agony until before he knew it he was holding in his breath again, afraid to complete the rest of the action due to his chest suddenly feeling as though it were being ripped in half. The heart monitor started beeping faster as his heart also wanted in on the action, strained by the lack of oxygen Tony's body was suddenly deprived of. Gibbs looked at Tony's face and saw features that were seized in painful expression. Gibbs own face dropped in fear - not knowing what was happening.

Dr. Bianchi however - did notice what was happening and it was about the same time that Gibbs had noticed as well. Tony had unknowingly gone right back to holding his breath - fighting off the pain in the only way he could, by stopping all movement. Abriana immediately detected the patient's obvious signed of distress and realizing it had to be due to yet another spike in his level of pain! She had to act fast!

Reaching back she grabbed a nearby syringe from a tray behind her, it was filled with a much more potent and fast acting dose of pain medication mixed with some low dose muscle relaxants to stop his muscles from spasming from the pain – the pre-filled syringe was just one of the items left by nurse Anna on the tray – one of her duties was to be proactive in knowing what additional items the doctor might need for treating patients with injuries like Tony's, it was what made them a top notch team for sure. Within two seconds she had injected the liquid into an open port of Tony's IV.

"Okay Tony, I just gave you something stronger to combat the pain. I know what kind of pain these injuries can cause. I just need you to hang in there a little bit longer I promise, you'll start to feel a lot betterafter that! Then I will do everything I can to keep you as close to pain free as I can. Now I also gave you something to help relax your chest muscles so even though I know it probably feels like your chest will implode if you breath - I need you to let out that breath you are holding." Dr. Bianchi instructed.

Tony grimaced, unsure he would be able to make it through those 'few minutes' but in no time he started to feel the pain slowly dissapating as it went from sheer agony to slightly bearable. He cautiously released a short breath followed by a few more very shallow and very short breaths, silent while he waited for the pain to die back down to only a slightly tolerable level and feeling his the muscle relaxants doing their thing in getting his chest to ease it's tightening hold. He immediately noticed his heart beat slowing to a semi-normal state, if the consistent and slowed beeping of the heart monitor was any indication. But his abdomen on the other hand continued to throb in unison with the beat as blood still rushed to the sight of his more severe wounds as if angrily punishing his body for shooting upwards into a nearly upright position earlier and aggravating every tender injury.

"Good, you're doing good. Now you should be able to try taking a little bit deeper breaths as the pain continues to subside. The last thing we need is for you to pass out on us now that we have you back." she added, hoping to lighten the fairly somber atmosphere. Then as exhausted as the whole event had left him, having drained what little adrenaline he had left, he still forced himself to talk in order to clear up that major misconception.

"D'Noz-" he started, pausing to catch his still short breath - "D'noozzzo'ss - donn't - passsouut." he finally and slowly retaliated, his voice still raspy and eyes still closed tightly. He was unable to see the effect that his slightly slurred and comedic statement was having on the some of the other people in the room – two of his three visitors were grinning from humorous comment, Jenny relieved to finally see the best part of Tony's personality still in tact – his sense of humor. It gave her hope that he would be okay.

Dr. Bianchi also took it as a good sign - she knew first hand how therapeutic humor could be on not only a patient, but also on their families as well.

Gibbs on the other hand wasn't ready to smile - or relax for that matter. He was the only one who knew the true origin of Tony's comment as the memory popped into his mind as clear as if it happened only yesterday.

[Beginning of flashback] It has been about 5 years ago when Tony originally uttered that same phrase. It was back in Tony's pre-NCIS days when he was a recently promoted detective with the Baltimore PD. It came at the end of the first case that caused his and Tony's lives to intersect while sharing jurisdiction on the gruesome case. Tony had just been involved in a serious fist fight with one of the criminals when they went to apprehend their two main suspects - accused of murdering two Baltimore cops and one Navy Lieutenant using slow and agonizing methods.

After being on the receiving end of one too many blows to the head by the suspect's brass knuckle adorned fist, Tony had attempted to act fine immediately following the fight and subsequent arrest – Gibbs ran over towards the downed detective but by the time got to him Tony had already forced himself to rise, albeit unsteadily, to his feet. Gibbs grabbed a hold of him under one of his arms to help him regain his footing, cringing as he noticed blood now starting to flow more heavily from where the brass knuckles had broken the skin near his scalp just at the hairline above his forehead – standing upright had causing it to flow more freely.

But as soon as Tony realized that the gruff Federal agent was leading him right towards an ambulance and the awaiting EMT's, he turned to try and go in the opposite direction only to feel his knees almost immediately starting to buckle causing Gibbs to act fast - catching the faltering young detective and hoisting him back up, taking on most of his weight while Tony clearly fought the urge to black out completely.

Gibbs had had just about enough lecturing the man whose natural ability to solve crimes had impressed him like no one else had in quite some time – if ever.

'Look DiNozzo, do us all a favor would ya? Just stop trying to play the tough guy n just let me get you over to the EMT's before you pass out completely!' It was then he received the now classic come back for the first time. [End of flashback]

Gibbs didn't fall for it then - and he certainly wasn't falling for it now!

"Hmmm . . . where've I heard that before?" Gibbs teased. "Now how about you shut up 'n let the doctor do her job huh? Save all the tall tales for when you're feeling better?" Tony opened his eyes and looked up only to his boss wink at him and sporting a barely there grin to let Tony know what he said – he said in jest. The action caught Tony by surprise since Gibbs almost never showed affection like that. Meanwhile Gibbs was busy trying to refrain himself from going any further – determined not to show any more signs of how much it warmed his heart to have his juvenile and goofy agent back.

Tony 's played along not wanting his boss to know that he saw right through him for once. Still looking at Gibbs Tony squinted his eyes to emphasize annoyance when fatigue took over again, causing his glare to give way to a pout – another classic DiNozzo expression - not unlike the look that a three year old would make after being told no cookies until after dinner.

It wasn't until then that Tony allowed himself to look around that he remembered the fact that Director Shepard was there, looking back to the other side of the bed he took in the woman whom was obviously his doctor.

Looking back and forth to the women on either side of him he thought, ''Wow, talk about complicated!' then he thought about the fact that there were two women here, both beautiful, both closer to Gibbs age than his own and even though the doctor's hair wasn't full out red, there were definitely enough auburn red highlights in it to qualify her as a rather exotic red head.

Uh-ohhh this could turn out bad . . . very very bad.' - it was as if he could pick up on the pheromones being emitted from both women and even though he hadn't been awake long, he definitely picked up on the way they both looked at his boss when he spoke – and if anyone knew when a woman was attracted to a man – it was Tony. Everyone's attention was brought back to the doctor as her voice broke through the suddenly awkward silence.

"Alright, look you need to rest Agent DiNozzo so in order to do that I need to finish my exam." her words causing Tony to roll his eyes slightly – he knew what that meant . . . more painful prodding!

Agent Gibbs, Director, can I talk to you for a minute over there. She pointed to part of the room closer to the door.

"Would you two mind stepping out for a few minutes while I finish the rest of his exam?" she asked. "Perhaps go get a cup of coffee, I'm sure you both could use one and to be honest I really don't need him to be distracted by anyone or anything else, especially when I do the brain injury evaluation to check the level of the concussion he obtained from the impact of hitting that hillside. I'm sure he would put on more of a tough front – especially with you in the room Jethro. Then there's also the privacy factor."

Gibbs and Jenny didn't need to hear any more as they nodded in agreement. They both knew that for Tony's sake they needed to do anything the hospital staff asked of them. But as Jenny headed toward the door Gibbs stepped back over to Tony's side for a minute.

"Tony." he began once he saw that he was still awake. "Hey I'll be right outside in the hall – but listen, just because you have that tube out it doesn't mean you have free reign to start runnin' yer mouth off. You let the doc check you out and do what she tells you to do or you'll have me to answer to! Ya got that?" he ordered.

Tony nodded and fought the urge to smile. He noticed Gibbs' voice didn't carry a quarter of it's usual threatening tone and though he didn't like when Gibbs acted 'nice', he had to admit he secretly liked the way it made him feel knowing the man he looked up to really did care about him. "Ye-ah . . . got it b-boss." his dry throat causing his voice to catch making him sound more like a teenager going through puberty.

"Good! Oh and don't think you can fool her either cuz she's good! Trust me - she'll know if you're not playin' it straight." Gibbs added one last warning.

Finally Gibbs and the Director left, only going as far as the nurses' station since the head nurse offered them some of their own and much better coffee than they would have gotten from the vending machine.

Dr. Bianchi didn't waste a second as she twisted the rod closing the rest of the vertical blinds that covered the all glass walls of the room so that no one could see in. For some reason Tony grew more nervous as he suddenly felt so alone and more vulnerable for sure. But the doctor was all business and quickly started on the exam, beginning with asking him the routine questions that were standard when a patient had a concussion of any level. While doing that she kept her hands busy by sliding his blanket down to gain access to his abdominal area, untying the loosely tied flimsy hospital gown that had been tied in the front for faster access to his wounds. She wanted to make sure he hadn't pulled any sutures from his rapid ascension when he first woke up, and even if he hadn't, she still made a mental note to remember to reprimand his boss later for causing her patient's dangerous reaction in the first place!

Tony felt himself blushing as he noticed cool air hitting lower on his abdomen and the top of his pelvis than he realized was even exposed. 'Geez -' he thought, '- just how far down is the damn incision?'

Thankfully the doctor had been too focused checking on the incision to see the bright red tinge that now adorned his cheeks. Then he noticed she was frowning slightly causing him to worry as to why.

"Uh, not impress'd with my 6 pa-, er – okay maybe 4 pack's more accurate." he asked, hoping his joke would cover his own worry but his weak and tired voice reduced the effect.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to alarm you Agent DiNozzo, I -"

"Please, call me Tony. I mean you have me in a very . . . vulnerable position right now so uh – Agent DiNozzo's a little formal don't ya think? I mean – I am half naked." he joked this time to cover his embarrassment. Then he winced as soreness seemed to be settling in again all over his body, and especially where he had surgery, now aching with more intensity than it had been for a while.

"Okay." she smiled. "Tony it is. Now . . . To-ny . . . I believe in being 100% upfront with my patients. Even though your external sutures are still in tact, it's you internal sutures that I am concerned about. Those stitches are meant to dissolve later on, after your incision has healed to a certain point. I suspect it is those interior stitches that may have been damaged. Now it could have happened when you attempted to help rescue your boss when the intruder was in your room – or it could have been when you rose up to a near upright position when we attempted to wake you earlier – either way your incision is . . . uh well, for lack of a better term - oozing more fluids than it should be." She couldn't help but notice Tony's body tense at her words.

"Sorry for being so blunt Agent DiNo- - Tony – but I believe in being honest with my patients." she explained.

"-'S fine Doc. Sooo-whaddowedo about it?" he asked in a very neutral tone of voice, feeling indifferent about the news and wanting nothing more than to just go back to sleep.

"Well, it's not as bad as it sounds but basically any fluids that build up at the site of the surgery should be confined to the drainage tube we inserted during the surgery to serve that very purpose – meaning no fluids should be seeping from the actual incision itself. I'm concerned that some of the internal suturing may have been compromised but I don't want to jump to conclusions since it will be easy enough to fix if it is and right now I want to see you get a little stronger before we do anything else – and I especially want to wait until Dr. Pitt evaluates the condition of your lungs."

Tony closed his eyes for the umpteenth time – it seemed to be a habit he couldn't avoid lately.

"So here's what I'm going to do, for now I will assign my staff to change the dressing and lightly cleanse the area more frequently for a while – every 30 minutes or so. I'm going to put you on some stronger antibiotics just to be safe and I'll order a couple of tests to get a closer look inside."

Something about her soothing tone made Tony feel so much better and not worried – then again it took a lot to get him to be concerned, he wasn't easily scared. "Okay, as long as the staff you mentioned is all female, then I guess I can handle that." he joked, then yawned as his body suddenly started to fatigue even faster. She asked him to bear with her for a few more minute and then she would leave him to sleep to his heart's content. After checking his head wound and taking notes to have the staff also change the dressing on that abrasion, then using her penlight to check his pupils while asking detailed questions such as his middle name, what year it was, what year he was born, etc – she completed the rest of her exam in a few minutes' time.

By the time she had finished she was pleased to see him already out, fast asleep and resting easily. Once she stepped out into the hall she informed Gibbs and the Director only of her plan to have his dressings changed more frequently – naturally causing Gibbs face to cloud over in worry. She then confirmed that her initial prognosis still stood, that he would make a complete recovery. She then politely excused herself to get to the other numerous patients she still had to check in on.

Jenny assured Gibbs that she would go back to the waiting room to update the others on their friend's condition but she knew she also wanted to check to make sure the arrangements for the additional security on all of the agents and the hospital that she had ordered, had been put into place. She knew that Gibbs had already taken care of the most important task of assigning a guard to Tony's room. One that he had hand picked for the key position himself even going so far as to threaten to slowly filet the man using a pocket knife if he let anyone get near his agent without Gibbs' approval. Gibbs had already headed right back into Tony's room while Jenny took off down the hall in the opposite direction than that of the waiting room – she had one more task to complete before she went to update the others. She knew Gibbs wouldn't be happy about what that task was – but she also knew he would see she was right as long as he allowed her to explain.

Inside Tony's room . . .

Tony seemed to be dozing again but right when Gibbs arrived next to his bed, smiling at how peaceful he seemed to be and how young and childlike he seemed at the same time. Taking his usual seat and pulling it closer to the bed he resumed his watch and not five minutes later he noticed Tony's entire body completely tensing up right before he yelled out a raspy "Ari!" which sounded more like a strained and loud whisper than it did a yell.

"No . . . NO, STOP!" Tony yelled out a second time.

Before Gibbs could get to him to try and calm him down – Tony's eyes shot open and started frantically scanning the room. By now Gibbs was right there, hands lightly placed on each of Tony's shoulders preventing him from rising even an inch – he'd be damned if he was going to see a repeat of what had happened earlier where twice Tony had nearly torn his stitches by sitting up. Finally Tony's breathing slowed down and his wide eyes slowly stopped searching his surroundings after most likely looking for Ari.

"What happe-? Did I -? Is he -?" his eyes were laced with confusion looking everywhere but at Gibbs. His boss took control of the situation now that Tony seemed to have come out of his nightmare, his face beaded with the lightest sheen of sweat from the stressful mental exertion and fear. "It's okay Tony no one is here, it's just you 'n me. Ya got that? Ari's gone and he won't be back, you have my word." he directed his entire focus by looking straight into his agent's eyes to make sure he knew he meant every word.

Feeling an almost magnetic pull he finally let his own eyes zero in on his bosses' familiar blue eyes, still feeling very disoriented as he looked into them for answers.

"It was just a nightmare Tony, the events of the past few days combined with those damn drugs they keep pumping into you – it's unavoidable, you're bound to have 'em." he tried to downplay the whole thing in hopes that Tony's fatigue would take over and he could avoid telling him what really happened.

Tony however had no intention of letting it drop. "But it . . . well, it just seemed so real! I mean, I saw Ari – in here, right in this room! He . . . he was attacking you!" his tone of voice rose steadily as the details of the dream came back to him. His eyes shifting away from Gibbs while he struggled to fill in the blanks. Gibbs own eyes also looked away while he struggled with whether he should tell Tony the truth now, or wait until he was stronger. Finally he chose the former of the two options since he had never lied to him before and he wasn't going to start now.

Looking back down and Tony he proceeded to explain, "Alright . . . okay just . . . Tony I'm gonna tell you something but you have to promise me that you won't get upset and that you won't react in a way that will aggravate your injuries – alright?" Tony looked back up meeting his boss straight in the eye and then nodded.

"Okay, now I'd hoped to avoid having this conversation until you were a little stronger . . . but you know I always tell you what's going on whether you want to hear it or not. Now, even though what you had was definitely a nightmare . . ." he paused trying to find the right words since that definitely wasn't something that came easy to him. "It was pretty close to what really went down in here - late yesterday."

Tony nodded slowly though even more confused. "Wait . . . " he blinked a few times as if that would help his mind to catch up. . . "What?"

Gibbs continued, "Ari Tony . . . it was Ari - he was in this room and he did attack me . . . well in a way I guess. He made some idle threats and then sprayed something in my face . . . turned out to be some kind of paralytic drug. Then he escaped – it was all to easy . . . and I shudder to think of what he could have done to you as well, once I was otherwise occupied and unable to move."

"My God boss, he could have killed you . . . and no one would have been there to stop him!" as it suddenly dawned on him just what could have happened.

"Hh-ohh, believe me DiNozzo – you tried to." Tony was now starting to think his boss was joking about the whole thing, before he could argue that he would have remembered doing something like that, Gibbs kept talking. "In fact you were so out of it that I still don't know how you did what you did but, you were determined to get out of bed to help me – that in the process you managed to rip out not only your IV and nearly every tube – but some of your damn stitches right along with it. Course . . . I didn't find that out til later."

By now Tony's mouth hung open in shock. How could he not remember doing that? Something so violent and he imagined – painful to say the least.

"But ya did good Tony - whether you remember doing it or not!"

"No, Gibbs I mean come on, how could I not remember doing something like that? I don't remember even a second of that actually happening." he was no looking down at his body, realizing just how much damage he could have caused himself yet still – remembering nothing.

"Adrenaline's a funny thing Tony – can cause you to do things that your body wouldn't normally be able to handle in the condition you were in - but the drugs you were on at the time were pretty potent so I'm sure that played into it. Now listen to me, then we are dropping the subject until you get some sleep – the bottom line is - I'm fine, you're fine, Ari's gone for now - and he won't get anywhere near either of us with all the damn security we now have in place. "

Finally letting go of Tony's shoulders, Gibbs backed up a little getting ready to move towards his usual seat. "But right now – all I want you doing is resting, just focus on getting better – got it? We can talk about this more later, like when you're out of ICU."

Tony's eyes had already started to close during the latter part of the conversation, he kept fighting it, jerking his eyes back open right before they closed all the way. He had still been alert enough to be surprised when Gibbs honored him with the rare compliment but then his body quickly started to lose it's fight to stay awake and by the time Gibbs uttered his last sentence, Tony was already starting to drift off the rest of the way, his face still sporting a hint of a smile ever since he received his bosses' heart felt praise.

Gibbs watched as Tony's body went lax and sunk back down into the pillows, the smile didn't go unnoticed and caused him to smile as well, Seeing the man whom he loved like a Son, happy like that was all he needed to feel the same way. Then just as he turned to pull his chair even closer and finally relax for a minute – his attention was again diverted by raised voice, but this time it wasn't Tony's.

This time it was coming from outside his door in the hallway. Glancing back to make sure Tony had not been awakened by the yelling, Gibbs headed towards the door determined to see what the commotion was that was taking place right where the security officer had been posted just out of sight of the sliding door. His gut clenched tightly as he reached for the handle of the sliding door and started to pull it open. . .

To Be Continued . . .

A/N – This time I'm not sorry for the cliffie – hee. I will fix any missed spelling or grammatical errors later as always. Just excited to get this posted fast! Please review! :-) Thanks!